- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Jawsus: Difference between revisions
imported>Melissa nh74 |
imported>Jacket Deprecated template. |
||
(22 intermediate revisions by 6 users not shown) | |||
Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
[[Image:DENTALPLAN.jpg|thumb|right|The appropriate [[Dental Plan|response]]]] | [[Image:DENTALPLAN.jpg|thumb|right|The appropriate [[Dental Plan|response]]]] | ||
Line 7: | Line 5: | ||
Fuck he has braces now. [[Goggles|I doubt they will do much, though.]] | Fuck he has braces now. [[Goggles|I doubt they will do much, though.]] | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
__TOC__ | |||
{{morphquote|travis|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;|[[DO NOT WANT|You can now buy a shirt with my face on it!]] http://www.zazzle.com/pruane2forever_shirt-235151832258741909|Jawsus|[[Cunt|Father John]] who is my dad and is not a priest molesting me|Jawsus|[[Lie|I don't care about America]]|Jawsus|I got braces now so you cant call me Jawsus|Jawsus|'''I AM THE BAYUTMAYUN'''(he holds up a batman mask)|Jawsus ('''[[Fag]]''')}} | |||
{{clear}} | |||
==But why, daddy? I want moar, give me fame!== | ==But why, daddy? I want moar, give me fame!== | ||
[[Image:Father John.png|thumb| | [[Image:Father John.png|thumb|right|300px|Dental Plan: It's hereditary.<br>One wonders if Fra. Johann has ever spread his seed in [[MRirian|rural Pennsylvania]]...]] | ||
Some light was [[Last Thursday|recently]] shed on the mysterious origins of Jawsus' <s>twisted mind</s> twisted teeth when his [[Incest|Father and bedfellow]] John, appeared in a drunken, crack-induced, and rambling interview with Jawsus. He proceeded to spin the yarn of how he had once punched out a snotty [[Paki|cabbie]] who was givin' him the grrrs. The cabbie responded by threatening that he would "fuck your sister, fuck your wife, fuck dat hawt azz son o' urs, and fuck everything!". At this point the [[Chris Hansen|hard-hitting journalist]] Jawsus poses the question: "would he [[Bestiality|fuck the dog]]?" | Some light was [[Last Thursday|recently]] shed on the mysterious origins of Jawsus' <s>twisted mind</s> twisted teeth when his [[Incest|Father and bedfellow]] John, appeared in a drunken, crack-induced, and rambling interview with Jawsus. He proceeded to spin the yarn of how he had once punched out a snotty [[Paki|cabbie]] who was givin' him the grrrs. The cabbie responded by threatening that he would "fuck your sister, fuck your wife, fuck dat hawt azz son o' urs, and fuck everything!". At this point the [[Chris Hansen|hard-hitting journalist]] Jawsus poses the question: "would he [[Bestiality|fuck the dog]]?" | ||
{{clear}} | |||
{{quote|Did you shit on his windshield?|that's what Jawsus would have done, by golly.}} | {{quote|Did you shit on his windshield?|that's what Jawsus would have done, by golly.}} | ||
{{quote|You asshole, you’re on the wrong side of the street if you want to fuck my wife, or fuck my dog!|Father John, [[internet tough guy|tough guy]].}} | {{quote|You asshole, you’re on the wrong side of the street if you want to fuck my wife, or fuck my dog!|Father John, [[internet tough guy|tough guy]].}} | ||
[[Image:Cumpro.gif|center|400px]] | [[Image:Cumpro.gif|center|400px]] | ||
==He's Back, Assholes== | ==He's Back, Assholes== | ||
===(Sex)Man's best friend=== | ===(Sex)Man's best friend=== | ||
[[Image:Pierce Brosnan.jpg|thumb|right|This is [[Jedi|not]] the Pierce you're looking for.]] | |||
Also in this gem of a video, Jawsus showed his [[Dogmongler|deep affection]] for the family beagle when he was appalled that the insolent TaxiMan threatened to screw the pooch, too –- something that only Jazzus feels entitled to do. | Also in this gem of a video, Jawsus showed his [[Dogmongler|deep affection]] for the family beagle when he was appalled that the insolent TaxiMan threatened to screw the pooch, too –- something that only Jazzus feels entitled to do. | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
Line 34: | Line 33: | ||
Chris Crocker is also Jawsus best friend as he/she (what ever the fuck a Chris Crocker is) duals Jawsus to a '''video-camera whore off!''', to see who can bitch on about their lives the best. But because Jawsus [[racist|hates everything]] they ended the [[gay sex|relationship]] to go on with their transgender lives. | Chris Crocker is also Jawsus best friend as he/she (what ever the fuck a Chris Crocker is) duals Jawsus to a '''video-camera whore off!''', to see who can bitch on about their lives the best. But because Jawsus [[racist|hates everything]] they ended the [[gay sex|relationship]] to go on with their transgender lives. | ||
===My name is=== | ===My name is=== | ||
With levity known only to the inebriated, pappy John thought nothing of dropping SexMan’s powerword by addressing him as “'''[[LOL|Pierce]]'''”.<br> | With levity known only to the inebriated, pappy John thought nothing of dropping SexMan’s powerword by addressing him as “'''[[LOL|Pierce]]'''”.<br> | ||
In hindsight, this had been a very prescient name-choice for baby Jewsus, as ''piercing'' is exactly what his [[Sarah Palin|grating voice]] was to inflict on his [[YouTube|unsuspecting public]]'s auditory nerves not a decade and a half later.<br> | In hindsight, this had been a very prescient name-choice for baby Jewsus, as ''piercing'' is exactly what his [[Sarah Palin|grating voice]] was to inflict on his [[YouTube|unsuspecting public]]'s auditory nerves not a decade and a half later.<br> | ||
He also divulged that he is of [[Alcoholism|Irish ancestry]], though [[fact|that]] came as surprise to [[noone]].<br> | He also divulged that he is of [[Alcoholism|Irish ancestry]], though [[fact|that]] came as surprise to [[noone]].<br> | ||
The greatest revelation of this short video came next, when Jawsus rebuked his father for using the name, and to quote: | The greatest revelation of this short video came next, when Jawsus rebuked his father for using the name, and to quote: | ||
{{clear}} | |||
{{quote|Don’t use that name! That’s my [[Bottom|slave]] name. It’s SexMan!}} | {{quote|Don’t use that name! That’s my [[Bottom|slave]] name. It’s SexMan!}} | ||
Line 81: | Line 80: | ||
==Jawsus vs. Magibon== | ==Jawsus vs. Magibon== | ||
In what must be the most hypcritical and jaw-dropping statement ever to soil the noble [[tubes]], Jawsus [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVPJ-GiJreY said] this about [[MRirian]]: | In what must be the most hypcritical and jaw-dropping statement ever to soil the noble [[tubes]], Jawsus [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVPJ-GiJreY said] this about [[MRirian]]: | ||
{{quote|She's...quite ugly, by the way|the earth stopped spinning for a moment.}} | {{quote|She's...quite ugly, by the way|the earth stopped spinning for a moment.}} | ||
[[Image:Jawsus magibon true love teeth.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Separated at birth or <strike>lip</strike> tooth-locking [[slashfic]] waiting to happen?<br> Or [[wincest|both]]?]] | |||
Yes, you read right. Jawsus, the Canunck [[Juliana Wetmore]] [[Irony|IS CALLING SOMEBODY UGLY]].<br> | Yes, you read right. Jawsus, the Canunck [[Juliana Wetmore]] [[Irony|IS CALLING SOMEBODY UGLY]].<br> | ||
Not just that, he is calling somebody WITH FUCKED UP GRILL (who is otherwise demonstrably raepable) UGLY.<br> | Not just that, he is calling somebody WITH FUCKED UP GRILL (who is otherwise demonstrably raepable) UGLY.<br> | ||
We may never know [[Why do you hate America?|why]] world haet's Amerikka, but we do know [[Hypocrite|why]] Amerikka haet's Jawsus.<br> | We may never know [[Why do you hate America?|why]] world haet's Amerikka, but we do know [[Hypocrite|why]] Amerikka haet's Jawsus.<br> | ||
===What If=== | ===What If=== | ||
The video is the only one from Jawsus's apparent cockpuppet, [http://www.youtube.com/user/sexman4forever Gang Bang Productions]. | The video is the only one from Jawsus's apparent cockpuppet, [http://www.youtube.com/user/sexman4forever Gang Bang Productions]. | ||
There are two ways to explain this.<br> | There are two ways to explain this.<br> | ||
Line 98: | Line 97: | ||
UNLESS...he could find somebody as repulsive as himself, somebody with teeth so crooked and soul so camwhorishly black....Maggie!!?!<br> | UNLESS...he could find somebody as repulsive as himself, somebody with teeth so crooked and soul so camwhorishly black....Maggie!!?!<br> | ||
Upon this discovery, Jaewsus fell in loev with Magitard and quickly baleeted the hateful rant. Luckily, a [[concerned mother|concerned]] anon re-uploaded it in an attempt to prevent these two ''ever'' having offspring, as ''it'' would be the apotheosis of the dark matter of the internets. | Upon this discovery, Jaewsus fell in loev with Magitard and quickly baleeted the hateful rant. Luckily, a [[concerned mother|concerned]] anon re-uploaded it in an attempt to prevent these two ''ever'' having offspring, as ''it'' would be the apotheosis of the dark matter of the internets. | ||
{{clear}} | |||
==Jawsus Related Videos before 50== | ==Jawsus Related Videos before 50== | ||
[[Image:Jawsus pussy.jpg|thumb|right|The only known pic of the vag whence Jawsus sprang.<br>And you thought that a regular [[vagina dentata]] was every guy's worst nightmare.]] | [[Image:Jawsus pussy.jpg|thumb|right|The only known pic of the vag whence Jawsus sprang.<br>And you thought that a regular [[vagina dentata]] was every guy's worst nightmare.]] | ||
After he deleted his original channel, he recently returned to les tubes under the name '''Pruane2Forever'''. Shortly after creating this new account he uploaded a video with the message: "'''I'm Back Assholes'''"...Noticeably, the little coolio is under the impression that he is [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|superior to everyone else]], which can be seen with him saying "I took time out of MY day" in almost every fucking video. What an informed little [[cunt|blood belching vagina]], trying to make himself sound ten times superior. | After he deleted his original channel, he recently returned to les tubes under the name '''Pruane2Forever'''. Shortly after creating this new account he uploaded a video with the message: "'''I'm Back Assholes'''"...Noticeably, the little coolio is under the impression that he is [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|superior to everyone else]], which can be seen with him saying "I took time out of MY day" in almost every fucking video. What an informed little [[cunt|blood belching vagina]], trying to make himself sound ten times superior. | ||
Line 106: | Line 104: | ||
<center> | <center> | ||
{{frame|{{fv|jsb613vids|background-color: pink;|font-weight: soft; | {{frame|{{fv|jsb613vids|background-color: pink;|font-weight: soft; | ||
|<youtube>nxYkKySrnHY</youtube> | |<youtube>nxYkKySrnHY</youtube> | ||
|<youtube>AXy4JV7hQ5c</youtube> | |<youtube>AXy4JV7hQ5c</youtube> | ||
|<youtube>bXOlMgBa_WU</youtube> | |<youtube>bXOlMgBa_WU</youtube> | ||
}}|border=black|background=pink}} | }}|border=black|background=pink}} | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
Line 121: | Line 113: | ||
==[[ZOMG]] hes a racist. 50 CENT want to be his pal== | ==[[ZOMG]] hes a racist. 50 CENT want to be his pal== | ||
[[Image:Rick ross anon dentalplan pruane 50.png|thumb|right|Rick Ross laughs, but he's not amused at all.]] | [[Image:Rick ross anon dentalplan pruane 50.png|thumb|right|Rick Ross laughs, but he's not amused at all.]] | ||
Jawsus hates Soulja Boy, who is [[black]], which makes him [[racist]]. He also is [[racist]] with the way he says "fifty...ur i mean fitty cent" which means he is gunna get [[rape|a cap in his arse]] due to trying to act black. | Jawsus hates Soulja Boy, who is [[black]], which makes him [[racist]]. He also is [[racist]] with the way he says "fifty...ur i mean fitty cent" which means he is gunna get [[rape|a cap in his arse]] due to trying to act black. | ||
It's pronounced '''TWO-PAWK''', not '''TEEW-PACK''', dipshit. | It's pronounced '''TWO-PAWK''', not '''TEEW-PACK''', dipshit. | ||
He then made another account where he hid his face due to his faggotery,that constantly gets hacked. | He then made another account where he hid his face due to his faggotery,that constantly gets hacked. | ||
<center> | <center> | ||
<youtube>BTFHEC6c3Zc</youtube> | <youtube>BTFHEC6c3Zc</youtube> | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
{{clear}} | |||
==Jawsome Quotes== | ==Jawsome Quotes== | ||
Line 138: | Line 125: | ||
[[Image:Lips.jpg|thumb|right|...]] | [[Image:Lips.jpg|thumb|right|...]] | ||
{{morphquote|jowsus|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;|My mom is not a man. She doesn't have a cock, mmkay?|Jawsus knows his genders|American is in trillions of dollars in Net, thanks to George W. Bush the stupidest monkey face son of a bitch Republican.|MSNBC's Senior Political Correspondent, Jawsus|If a president needed to be assassinated...instead of Kennedy...Bush shoulda gotten killed.|Lawd Jewsus speaks for the oppressed masses, committing a [http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/uscode18/usc_sec_18_00000871----000-.html fe'ral felony] in the process.|...and I didn't even get shoved into a locker or get my ass kicked.|not believing his good luck, a la "It Was a Good Day" Ice Cube|...I HAET SOULJA BOY...| Pruane unfairly singles out another nigra|...He [Father John] doesn't co-operate. He's usually intoxicated, by alcohol...|Jawsus commenting on his Dad|...[on [[Matrix|Keanu Reeves]]] I think he's a good actor.|Jawsus knows [[feces|quality]]|i walked up to these girls and asked for help and they didnt help me.|Jawsus finding that he is really a [[gay|unwanted man]]|G-G-G-Gee Unit!|Jawsus' braces getting the better of his speech|HYUAAAAAAAH!!!!!|Jawsus's cry of happiness over it being his birthday|Y'know it's just the worlds gone to 3D!!!!|Jawsus doesn't appreciate the 21st century.|}} | |||
===Reactions to Jawsus=== | ===Reactions to Jawsus=== | ||
{{morphquote|jewsus|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;|holy fuck ur ugly||this guy's appearance makes him subhuman!||why the FUCK does this faggot call himself "sexman"????||Jesus Christ, those things are all over the place!||u fangledtooth mutherfucker u got like ur own set of parking spaces in ur mouth||Why arent your teeth friends? | |||
Why are they so distant? | Why are they so distant? | ||
Bring them together.||Commit suicide and become [[an hero|an hero]].||The best thing about this is that you can't fuck up the portrait .Any abomination will still resemble his face.||Hard to fuck up with someone that looks like that[Reacting to his portrait]||ur soooooooo ugly this vid should be flagged because of ur face!||FUCK YOU||}} | Bring them together.||Commit suicide and become [[an hero|an hero]].||The best thing about this is that you can't fuck up the portrait .Any abomination will still resemble his face.||Hard to fuck up with someone that looks like that[Reacting to his portrait]||ur soooooooo ugly this vid should be flagged because of ur face!||FUCK YOU||}} | ||
==The Call Of Jawsus== | ==The Call Of Jawsus== | ||
<center>HYUAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!</center> | <center>HYUAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!</center> | ||
<center> | |||
<youtube>6eqFzrRTWIU</youtube> | <youtube>6eqFzrRTWIU</youtube> | ||
</center> | |||
<center>HYUAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!</center> | <center>HYUAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!</center> | ||
Line 161: | Line 145: | ||
|<center>'''Rare Episode of MTV Cribs Featuring The TyrannoJawsus Rex'''</center> | |<center>'''Rare Episode of MTV Cribs Featuring The TyrannoJawsus Rex'''</center> | ||
<youtube>nEyQ8Qs341g</youtube> | <youtube>nEyQ8Qs341g</youtube> | ||
|<center>'''Jawsus GB2/Sea'''</center> | |<center>'''Jawsus GB2/Sea'''</center> | ||
<youtube>a7aReHt-hWs</youtube> | <youtube>a7aReHt-hWs</youtube> | ||
|<center>'''[[Chris Crocker|LEAVE JAWSUS ALONE!]]'''</center> | |<center>'''[[Chris Crocker|LEAVE JAWSUS ALONE!]]'''</center> | ||
<youtube>PTCO3vq84ao</youtube> | <youtube>PTCO3vq84ao</youtube> | ||
|<center>'''Jawsus Dislikes pr0nz'''</center> | |<center>'''Jawsus Dislikes pr0nz'''</center> | ||
<youtube>rSW8AsHNWVA</youtube> | <youtube>rSW8AsHNWVA</youtube> | ||
}} | }} | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
{{clear}} | |||
==A Challenger Appears!== | ==A Challenger Appears!== | ||
<center><youtube>QbHCAWu_SUU</youtube></center> | <center><youtube>QbHCAWu_SUU</youtube></center> | ||
<center>Using his [[leet]] speak, [[Lulz|he thinks he knows the internets well]] and claims ED and /b/ should stop bullying; he's clearly [[butthurt]]. He even sounds like Jawsus lol</center> | <center>'''Using his [[leet]] speak, [[Lulz|he thinks he knows the internets well]] and claims ED and<br> /b/ should stop bullying; he's clearly [[butthurt]]. He even sounds like Jawsus lol'''</center> | ||
==Unfunny [[Eminem]]-related Video== | ==Unfunny [[Eminem]]-related Video== | ||
When Eminem's latest album full of [[butthurt|songs about how depressed he is about being famous and rich]] [[Came|leaked]], Jawsus made a gay porn tape with some rapist-looking [[pedo]] in which they point phallic objects at each other. Note the two posters next to his bed, [[not gay|both of which have two half naked oily muscled men.]] No doubt there to keep him warm through those long, cold loveless nights. Apparently it's "fucking bullshit" that albums leak. Or something. Who knows? Who cares? Knock yourself out: | When Eminem's latest album full of [[butthurt|songs about how depressed he is about being famous and rich]] [[Came|leaked]], Jawsus made a gay porn tape with some rapist-looking [[pedo]] in which they point phallic objects at each other. Note the two posters next to his bed, [[not gay|both of which have two half naked oily muscled men.]] No doubt there to keep him warm through those long, cold loveless nights. Apparently it's "fucking bullshit" that albums leak. Or something. Who knows? Who cares? Knock yourself out: | ||
==Fan films== | ==Fan films== | ||
Line 199: | Line 170: | ||
<center><youtube>Tt5UcRn5wm4</youtube></center> | <center><youtube>Tt5UcRn5wm4</youtube></center> | ||
==Jawsus | ==The Death of Jawsus== | ||
<center> | <center> | ||
[[File:Death_of_jawsus.png]] | |||
</center> | |||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
Line 239: | Line 211: | ||
*[[Butthurt]] | *[[Butthurt]] | ||
*[[Unwarranted Self Importance]] | *[[Unwarranted Self Importance]] | ||
*[[Rootbrian]] | *[[Rootbrian]] | ||
*[[Irate Gamer]] | *[[Irate Gamer]] | ||
==Resources== | ==Resources== | ||
* {{ | * {{yt|cu|Pruane2Forever|Jawsus on YouTube}} | ||
*[http://www.bcdental.org/fad/find_a_dentist.php Find a dentist near you] | *<strike>[http://www.bcdental.org/fad/find_a_dentist.php Find a dentist near you]</strike> - 404. Page Deleted. | ||
* Song [http://www.mediafire.com/?xemtostympi Jawsus Christ, Stop Jacking It!] | *<strike>Song [http://www.mediafire.com/?xemtostympi Jawsus Christ, Stop Jacking It!]</strike> - File Deleted. | ||
* MySpace - [http://www.myspace.com/Pruane2Forever Send him hate mail! Or befriend him, get him to trust you then find him and break his teeth!] | * MySpace - [http://www.myspace.com/Pruane2Forever Send him hate mail! Or befriend him, get him to trust you then find him and break his teeth!] | ||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Sassew Jawsus' long lost brother?] | *<strike>[http://www.youtube.com/user/Sassew Jawsus' long lost brother?]</strike> - Account Deleted. | ||
*[http://steamcommunity.com/id/cryptodan His STEAM account] Updated, retard thought he could shake us off by changing it slightly | *[http://steamcommunity.com/id/cryptodan His STEAM account] Updated, retard thought he could shake us off by changing it slightly. <b>Set to Private</b> | ||
{{ytseries}} | {{ytseries}} |
Latest revision as of 09:21, 13 January 2023
Jawsus aka Pruane2 aka Sexman aka Pruane2Forever aka Prone2Failure aka BAYUTMAYUN aka Prune Face aka down syndrome elf Pierce (real name) is an attractive 13 year old cool guy who claims to be not interested in pornography, most notable for his fucked-up grill that gives Cockmongler a run for his money. His awkward silence (think Billoon45), high-pitched, whiny and grating voice (think Gaydiamond), doesn't help either. Essentially, all of which creates much antilulz and commercial shit like fiddy tyson. Jawsus derives his name from the fact that one could easily drive a Mack truck between any pair of his teeth. His father is a hopeless alcoholic with a mangina and his mother is a dickgirl AZN which explains why he looks like a fucking hybrid with bad teeth. He spends a great deal of time shitting out "movie reviews", offering his "thoughts" on various subjects or attacking porn addicts and gays. He really wants to suck Le Shizzle's wang because even though he became his YouTube friend he is still desperate for the cock. With cries of DENTAL PLAN, LISA NEEDS BRACES, and BRB OCEAN, The entire Internet drove him off of YouTube for a short while although he has returned to les tubes under the name Pruane2Forever. His Facebook, which was so generously searched for by Anonymous Rapier, is: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1026488599&ref=sgm deleted.
Fuck he has braces now. I doubt they will do much, though.
—Jawsus |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
But why, daddy? I want moar, give me fame!
Some light was recently shed on the mysterious origins of Jawsus' twisted mind twisted teeth when his Father and bedfellow John, appeared in a drunken, crack-induced, and rambling interview with Jawsus. He proceeded to spin the yarn of how he had once punched out a snotty cabbie who was givin' him the grrrs. The cabbie responded by threatening that he would "fuck your sister, fuck your wife, fuck dat hawt azz son o' urs, and fuck everything!". At this point the hard-hitting journalist Jawsus poses the question: "would he fuck the dog?"
—that's what Jawsus would have done, by golly. |
—Father John, tough guy. |
He's Back, Assholes
(Sex)Man's best friend
Also in this gem of a video, Jawsus showed his deep affection for the family beagle when he was appalled that the insolent TaxiMan threatened to screw the pooch, too –- something that only Jazzus feels entitled to do.
Father John's Freudian slip of repeating "You wanna fuck my wife and my DAUGHTER?" as "You wanna fuck my wife and my DOG?" speaks volumes of the sexual escapades that take place at the Jawsus household.
Is he referring to Jawsus when he says "my daughter"?.
Chris Crocker is also Jawsus best friend as he/she (what ever the fuck a Chris Crocker is) duals Jawsus to a video-camera whore off!, to see who can bitch on about their lives the best. But because Jawsus hates everything they ended the relationship to go on with their transgender lives.
My name is
With levity known only to the inebriated, pappy John thought nothing of dropping SexMan’s powerword by addressing him as “Pierce”.
In hindsight, this had been a very prescient name-choice for baby Jewsus, as piercing is exactly what his grating voice was to inflict on his unsuspecting public's auditory nerves not a decade and a half later.
He also divulged that he is of Irish ancestry, though that came as surprise to noone.
The greatest revelation of this short video came next, when Jawsus rebuked his father for using the name, and to quote:
It recently came to light that Jawwie had a bitchfight when his dad referred to him as "Pierce" because his dad didn't blow his load into Jawwie's mouth last time they had some fun, but instead, blew it all over his face.
There you have it. Had you been in a BDSM relationship with your father, you might have turned out a feckless lolcow, just as Jawwie has.
The saddest part of all this remains that a video of his drunk, rambling father got a rating twice as high as Jawsuses best offerings.
His real name is Jimmy Walker.
Jawsus on the front page
Proof positive that monkeys are still running les tubes, Jawsus was featured on March 14th, 2008 and again on April 14, 2009. Whether it was a mistake by a YT employee or in fact chosen to be front page material is still unknown but he has officially given hope to every other low life vlogger on the site who has honest dreams of hitting it big.
|
Mommy Dearest, halp me become famous!
In what was hopefully a taste of things to come, Jawsus's mother made a short vocal cameo in the video. If her looks match the shrill voice, she is a 400-Lb hambeast with a hairy wart on her nose.
—Jawsus the Sexman on e-fame |
Fan(g)B(r)as(c)e
—Shotacat approves. |
This is boylover smoothoperator2005 seeing past the teeth, to his inner beauty, even forgiving Jawsus ripping his favorite shota fap show, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
Do let SmoothOperator know that boylove is nothing to be ashamed for. Oh and do remember Jawsus is homophobic.
Jawsus vs. Magibon
In what must be the most hypcritical and jaw-dropping statement ever to soil the noble tubes, Jawsus said this about MRirian:
—the earth stopped spinning for a moment. |
Yes, you read right. Jawsus, the Canunck Juliana Wetmore IS CALLING SOMEBODY UGLY.
Not just that, he is calling somebody WITH FUCKED UP GRILL (who is otherwise demonstrably raepable) UGLY.
We may never know why world haet's Amerikka, but we do know why Amerikka haet's Jawsus.
What If
The video is the only one from Jawsus's apparent cockpuppet, Gang Bang Productions.
There are two ways to explain this.
A. Jawsus truely haets Magibon, or:
B. Knowing full well that he is the Joseph Merrick of our time, he realized that he will be (like his predecessor) relegated to search for true love among THE BLIND (and deaf, come to think of his voice).
UNLESS...he could find somebody as repulsive as himself, somebody with teeth so crooked and soul so camwhorishly black....Maggie!!?!
Upon this discovery, Jaewsus fell in loev with Magitard and quickly baleeted the hateful rant. Luckily, a concerned anon re-uploaded it in an attempt to prevent these two ever having offspring, as it would be the apotheosis of the dark matter of the internets.
Jawsus Related Videos before 50
After he deleted his original channel, he recently returned to les tubes under the name Pruane2Forever. Shortly after creating this new account he uploaded a video with the message: "I'm Back Assholes"...Noticeably, the little coolio is under the impression that he is superior to everyone else, which can be seen with him saying "I took time out of MY day" in almost every fucking video. What an informed little blood belching vagina, trying to make himself sound ten times superior.
Previous Video | Next Video |
ZOMG hes a racist. 50 CENT want to be his pal
Jawsus hates Soulja Boy, who is black, which makes him racist. He also is racist with the way he says "fifty...ur i mean fitty cent" which means he is gunna get a cap in his arse due to trying to act black. It's pronounced TWO-PAWK, not TEEW-PACK, dipshit. He then made another account where he hid his face due to his faggotery,that constantly gets hacked.
Jawsome Quotes
—Jawsus knows his genders |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Reactions to Jawsus
Previous Quote | Next Quote
The Call Of Jawsus
Reactions to the Jawsus monster
Previous Video | Next Video
A Challenger Appears!
/b/ should stop bullying; he's clearly butthurt. He even sounds like Jawsus lol
When Eminem's latest album full of songs about how depressed he is about being famous and rich leaked, Jawsus made a gay porn tape with some rapist-looking pedo in which they point phallic objects at each other. Note the two posters next to his bed, both of which have two half naked oily muscled men. No doubt there to keep him warm through those long, cold loveless nights. Apparently it's "fucking bullshit" that albums leak. Or something. Who knows? Who cares? Knock yourself out:
Fan films
The Death of Jawsus
Gallery
-
Same parents.
-
Thanks, le shizzle.
-
"Jawsus might die soon"
-
"Your a bunch of fangs."
-
"I will get it."
-
"I can't stop looking at those teeth!"
-
"OH SHIT"
-
"Jawsus & his dad."
-
"I CAME."
-
A CHALLENGER APPEARS!!
-
Jawsus's sister
-
'nuff said
-
TEEF!
-
Who wouldn't fall for a face like this?
-
A challenger approaches. It's basically Jawsus with straight teeth.
See Also
Resources
- Jawsus on YouTube
Find a dentist near you- 404. Page Deleted.Song Jawsus Christ, Stop Jacking It!- File Deleted.- MySpace - Send him hate mail! Or befriend him, get him to trust you then find him and break his teeth!
Jawsus' long lost brother?- Account Deleted.- His STEAM account Updated, retard thought he could shake us off by changing it slightly. Set to Private
|