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Myyrmanni bombing
|
 Petri "This is going to hurt" Gerdt | |
|---|---|
| Petri Erkki Tapio Gerdt | |
| Born | April 17, 1983 |
| Died | October 11, 2002 (aged 19) |
| Nationality | Finland 
|
| Occupation | University student |
| High score | Killed 6, Injured 166) |
| Top 50? | 23 |
| Style | Bomberman |
| An Hero? | Maybe |
The Myyrmanni Bombing occurred in Vantaa, Finland, at the Myyrmanni shopping mall on October 11, 2002. A bomb carried by Petri Erkki-Tapio exploded at 19:36 killing seven, including our hero. 166 people were injured, including 10 kids who came to watch a clown performance. Unfortunately the clown survived, fucking clowns get out of my life!!!. The motive of the bombing was never determined, but we all know that he did it for the Lulz.
Petri Gerdt
This Furry was described as a calm, delicate, friendly, isolated, vibrant and friendly young man who used to play basketball and make bombs in the yard of his house when he didn't have other shit to do. He had no friends but his own sister, not even with his basketball hobby, where he was very good. Petri, as any average user of ED, was alone and marginalized, and most of his contacts were exclusively on the internet. At school, Petri was intimidated and discriminated, and it was worst in high school, where no one interfered because Petri denied the bullying, so his father couldn't do anything but sit on his sofa and eat popcorn watching football. Petri did moderately well at school and had a great interest in nature and chemistry, this last would be the subject he would study at the university, before becoming a an hero.
The Internetz Made Him Do It!!
Petri was a member of the Kotikemia (Home Chemistry in non-moonspeak) forum. The pigs took the 17 year old head janitor of the forum to court but was acquitted of all charges because he dindu nuffin.
Doomsday
18:00: Petri arrives at Myyrmanni. He wanders around the mall for a bit. 19:00: Eyewitness notices someone handling a backpack in a bathroom stall. 19:30: Our hero sits on benches near the site of the explosion. The backpack containing the bomb is next to his feet at that moment. 19:34: Petri is seen holding the bag. 19:36 The bomb explodes, killing him instantly and annihilating 6 others (You could do better!)
Theories
Unlike most attention-seeking mass shooters (Columbine Copycats in particular) and butthurt mujahideen bombers, Petri failed to write an epic manifesto that blamed society for his intact virginity. Therefore, there have been a few theories as to why he blew up kids at the mall.
1. Suicide Bombing - Petri deliberately blew up both the mall and himself after losing his iPod. As mentioned above however, he didn't write a manifesto describing his day of retribution and the mistreatment starting the day he was born. Trenchcoat adorned edgy teenagers who get bullied and listen to Rammstein aren't the only ones who want pity points for killing themselves. All the coolest bombers have manifestos (e.g. Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Anders Behring Breivik, Unabomber). The point is, the Feds think he would probably would have been more interested in describing his ideological or political reasoning.
2. Accident - Armas Gerdt, Petri's father, wrote in his book that he thought it was an accident. Petri was simply waiting in the mall so he could detonate it in a nearby forest. However, the sun had already gone down and no one wants to detonate a bomb in the dark. The bomb was also filled with nails and bullets which suggests he wanted to do some damage. Some also theorize that he arrived around closing time so the bomb would go off in the mall when no one else was around. He sat on the bench to wait for everyone to leave but the bomb went off too early, resulting in a reverse Columbine situation (A failed bombing that turned into a mass-shooting because all their bombs were crap).
3. The bombing was deliberate but he didn't mean to kill himself - The bomb had a timer so it is plausible that Petri intended to leave it somewhere high traffic so he could watch the carnage unfold in real time. When it didn't detonate when it was supposed to, Petri put it in his lap so he could try to fix it. This inadvertently cause it to explode in his face and blew him into chunks.
4. IRL Trolling - The only true answer. Petri did it for the lulz.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 6/20 (Injured 166) |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 19/20 Didn't kill the clown |
| Style: | 9/20 Bombs fanboy |
| Butthurt: | 15/20 Only Scandinavians cared |
| Bonus: | 20/20 originated more conspiracy theories than 9/11 attacks |
Wanted Level:
Mall Cop
Gallery
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Petri in the news! -
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Petri in the army
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Recreation of Petri's body after the bombing kindly provided by the Sinaloa Cartel. -
Before -
After -
Moar of Petri's work -
Petri with his successors
See Also
- Anton Lundin Pettersson - Brave Swede who took up the Nipponese blade to slice up kebabs infesting his school.
- Mr. Saari - Pecker Auvinen but better.
- Pekka-Eric Auvinen - Columbine Stan Fin that caused massive butthurt in Fjordnigger-Land five years later after pwning some kids at Finland's first school shooting.
- Robert Steinhäuser - Kraut who went postal (also in 2002) on his teachers after getting expelled from school.
- Salman Abedi - a britsh version of Petri but
he hate womanIslam
External Links
