Clarence/Episode Guide
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| Season One | Season Two | Shorts |
Season 1
- 1. Fun Dungeon Face-Off
Mary, Clarence and his friends go to a KFC with a black cashier - Jeff orders just fries. Clarence makes the fatal mistake of taking Jeff's fries while he's at the toilet. Jeff goes insane and chases Clarence throughout the "Fun Dungeon" in an anti-climactic showdown that parodies Star Wars. They make up in the end and Clarence steals a pair of shoes belonging to a 5-year-old girl.
- 2. A Pretty Great Day with a Girl
Amy makes Clarence her bitch and they go on a bike ride into the forest and Belson sees, getting the rest of his faggotry gang to go after them thinking they're going to Make Out. They climb an erratic and have a discussion about SRS BUSINESS and are interrupted by Belson and friends and they start throwing pinecones at each other for the rest of the episode, they also threw Sumo in for no fucking reason too.
- 3. Money Broom Wizard
Clarence and friends use 1337-haxor skillz on all of the games at the arcade because they only have one dollar to share over their poor asses.
- 4. Lost in a Supermarket
Clarence finds Sumo in the supermarket while trying to find a gallon of skim milk for his Mom. The duo fuck everything up in the store as per usual and crash into Mom, scattering her coupon collection all over the place. It is revealed that all women have an unbearbale coupon fetish, and snatch them like a flock of birds pecking at seeds. To rectify this incident, Clarence steals a dozen coupons like a fucking nigger and reduces the price of the monthly groceries from 280 dollars to just 10 dollars. Sumo also molests a pedophile staff member named "Josh", and he is subsequently v& for chasing a minor.
- 5. Clarence's Millions
The first time Clarence is actually seen in school. He tried to re-institute Communism through the invention of his own currency, the "Clarence Dollar", but what always happens when Communism is practiced happens: Disaster.
- 6. Clarence gets a girlfriend
Title says it all. Clarence hooks up with Ashley, which infuriates Jeff because it was his undertaking to be the "Supreme Gentleman". Sumo teaches Clarence how to be an Alpha-Male, but of course he fucks everything up on the date and breaks-up after spilling chocolate milk on "Assley" (as he calls her). In the end, Clarence's friends fondle a corpse. Sumo's brother is apparently a polygynist. There's a brief scene of Clarence in a bikini, proving once again that those who work in making children's entertainment are pedophiles.
- 7. Jeff's New Toy
Clarence destroys Jeff's sought-after, limited-edition action figure when Jeff refuses to take it out of the packaging to play with. So much for hoarding plastic crap, amirite?
- 8. Dinner Party
Clarence's family attends a Jewish couple's dinner party and Clarence's filthy-ape immature step-dad (named Chad) gets bored. Chad allows all of the children at the party to explore the attic and because Clarence is such a fat fuck his weight breaks through the roof of the house and kills everyone.
- 9. Honk
Clarence terrorizes everyone with a horn.
- 10. Dollar Hunt
Clarence and Jeff accidentally hide a $20 dollar bill in the backyard instead of a $1 dollar bill for some gangstas to find. When the $20 dollar bill is found, some emo faggot tears it in half and eats it then commits suicide, never to be seen again for the remainder of the episode. It turns out the $20 dollars was for the ingredients to cook Mary's casserole for her friends that evening. To compensate, Clarence and Sumo throw a bunch a random shit into a tray and slam it into the oven. Mary's friends eat the diarrhea-casserole anyway and some poor bastard dies at the bottom of a ditch in Clarence's backyard. Clarence dismembered and cannibalized the corpse the following day.
- 11. Zoo
Clarence and Belson are forced to partner-up for a school excursion at the local zoo. Their teacher accidentally leaves the two dipshits behind, and they get locked in at night. You could only imagine how this catastrophe turns out...
- 12. Rise and Shine
Clarence acts like a retard for 2 whole hours starting from 5:00 AM. He discovers a wild mountain lion (which he mistakes for a bear at first) and reports it to the cops. Said mountain lion is tranquilized, hurting Clarence's feelings. Dear God the music and characters in this episode are fucking atrocious, oh wait, that's nothing out the ordinary with this series...
- 13. Man of the house
While Clarence's dumbass parents go out for the evening, they leave their mentally-crippled excuse of a son in charge of the house, and as we all expected, he transforms the household into a diseased crap-heap in a matter of minutes. Clarence also invites the only people in the world who care about him couldn't give a fuck. At some stage the trio are convinced that a "Burger" (Burgler) might break into the house, and in defense, the kids rig the whole property with booby traps. Meanwhile, Chad forgets his V.I.P tickets and rushes back home to retrieve them. Chad gets smashed in the legs with two bowling balls and Clarence does a hit-and-run once Mary discovers the dismembered, half-eaten teenage boys strewn around the house. Makes you wonder why Mary didn't abort Clarence before he fucked-up everyone's sanity.
- 14. Puddle Eyes
Clarence falls asleep face down into a mud puddle and gets mud in his eyes. He doesn't suffocate sadly. He looks a lot like a Harlequin Fetus in this episode.
- 15. Dream Boat
Sumo builds a boat to earn the love and compassion of his careless bogan father.
- 16. Slumber Party
Clarence is accidentally invited to a slumber party where he falsely leads Jeff into believing he's got a hot-shot with the only chance of getting some pusi in his shallow, materialistic life. PROTIP: This episode makes a direct reference to "Straight Illin'".
- 17. Nature Clarence
Josh (from 'Lost in the Supermarket') makes his return in this episode, luring Clarence and the gang into his car and driving them to the middle of Africa, or some shit. When the car breaks down, Josh becomes a full-blown psychotic bastard and throws himself off of a cliff, only to have his crush "Nature Kate" rescue him after Clarence farts on his head (no, we're not even making this up).
- 18. Average Jeff
This episode chronicles the life of Jeff Randell.
- 19. Lizard Day Afternoon
Clarence and Sumo follow a lizard around the neighborhood, leading them to good fortune while Jeff 'Spergs out over a new 3D Virtual Reality video-game console which Belson uses to play realistic hentai games 24/7.
- 20. The Forgotten
Chad is a lazy grease-mop and forgets to pick up Clarence from school. Another socially-awkward fuckwit named "Brady" is also left behind after school hours. Clarence takes Brady on a pointless journey through the state of Arizona because he has nothing better to do. That's pretty much it.
Clarence's family are dining at the "Chuckleton's" restaurant when Clarence sees his teacher, Ms. Baker, sitting at a nearby seat. Ms. Baker is going on a blind date, and discovers her partner for the night, an elderly wanker (named "Clarence") who writes down every detail of every... fucking... thing that takes place within his vicinity. Clarence barges into Ms. Baker's personal space and causes her to retreat into the women's toilets. Clarence (both the Sperg and oldfag) and Chad follow her into the women's toilets without any fucking awareness as to what they have just done. It's only until Clarence forces himself underneath the stall door and tries to touch his teacher when Mary interrupts and yells for all the men to GTFO. Without even giving a shit, both Clarences, Ms. Baker, and the parents have a fiesta together (despite not even knowing the old-pedo Clarence) and everyone laughs at Josh when he slips and a fork gets lodged into his eye-socket, because kids find mutilation hilarious, right? Has absolutely nothing to do with neighborhood grills but holy shit there is a gay couple in it. This is important because CN is now
- 22. Belson's Sleepover
Belson tries to prank every poor fucker who got invited to his house. All of the guests plan to prank Belson back, starting with Clarence cross-dressing and luring Belson into the basement, and Sumo pwning him with a trash can full of puke and shit.
- 23. Too Gross for Comfort
Some ape-bitch named Chelsea gets invited to the "Guy-scraper", determined that nothing can gross her out. Everyone takes turns sharing Creepypastas until Chelsea and Sumo fuck kiss. OMFG SO GROSS!!!!11!one! She even admits that shes seen the grossest videos on the internet.
- 24. Pilot Expansion
Is literally just the pilot with a song in the middle and the extra scenes before and after it. It's not even re-animated or re-voiced at all.
- 25. Patients
Clarence had to deal with Chara while his mom get treated for her newfound carpel tunnel that came from having to repeatedly deal with a customer called 'Sandy'. Remember her, she'll come up again later.
- 26. Rough Riders Elementary
After tasting KFC's new sauce, Clarence finds he hates it so much he took the time to author a fucking fanfiction about how it's use in brainwashing children to work for them. In his story, Aberdeen Elementary School becomes a dictatorship under the control of KFC. Josh is the Führer, by the way. Just another example of modern storyboard artists incorporating Neo-Nazism into children's television.
- 27. Nothing Ventured
Chad and Mr. Sumozski are drunk off their asses when they try to start a business while Clarence and Sumo "invest" by capturing a fuck-load of cockroaches and disposing of them in everybody's house at night spreading disease and food poisoning across the town. They're literally following in Stan Pines' footsteps to scam everyone.
- 28. Bedside Manners
Belson ends up in the hospital so Clarence comes to help ruin everything using a 10-foot-long Sub.
- 29. Jeff Wins
Clarence teaches Jeff how to cook human flesh for some cooking competition and he inadvertently wins because Clarence swapped the name tags under the presumption that Gordon Ramsay would shoot Jeff had he have tasted his shit. It also revealed that Jeff has two moms. Again, because CN is
- 30. Suspended
Clarence and Sumo get suspended from school after pulling a prank on Ms. Baker. The duo learn lots of new things that they would never learn in school, and somehow manage to fix a boiler. Moral of this episode: fuck school.
- 31. Turtle Hats
Ms. Baker receives an SMS from her boyfriend which reads; "I think U R Turtle Hats". As a result of this typo, Ms. Baker accidentally convinces her students to work on an assignment on "Turtle Hats". Turns out the message was supposed to read "Totally hot". Fucking autocorrect.
- 32. Goose Chase
Clarence gets terrorized by a goose and develops Ornithophobia.
- 33. Goldfish Follies
BACK TO THE 1930'S ZOMG!!!1ONE!
- 34. Chimney
Clarence and friends find a stray dog and decide to keep it, naming it "Chimney". Everybody gets stuck in a wishing well after Jeff tries to fetch a Frisbee but Chimney saves them (unfortunately) by offering a shit-ton of sticks to build a ladder with. This episode has nothing to do with chimneys by the way. At the end of this episode the developers used the fucking Mac Voiceover utility for when Chimney speaks.
- 35. Straight Illin'
You are honestly LESS likely to puke watching Mr. Pickles than this episode.
Avoid this episode at ALL COSTS!!!
- 36. Dust Buddies
Belson's Mom forces her lazy-ass faggot son to do manual labor while she hacks into his WoW account for great justice. It's also worth mentioning that Belson's neighbor is a goddamn pedophile, I shit you not.
- 37. Hurricane Dillis
Clarence's senile dwarf grandmother, "Dilliss", moves in and fucks everything over.
- 38. Hoofin' it
Clarence and Sumo play PETA by sabotaging a redneck festival. The fat wanker substitutes himself with a pig named "Buttersctoch" so that she doesn't get raped by the people of Arizona. Comedy for Rednecks.
- 39. Detention
The kids at Aberdale Elementary lace the teacher's food with sleeping pills and turn the detention room into a disco while he's asleep.
- 40. Hairence
Mary opens up a hair salon in the Summer holidays where one particular customer named Sandy (from "Patients") makes all of the employees her slaves. Sandy is a disgustingly obese nigga landwhale hunk-of-shit that uses a scooter to get around all the Goddamn time, and demands satisfaction with every visit to the hair salon. She is literally Honey Boo Boo in cartoon form. Clarence invents a huge model of himself made out of hair follicles which he creatively names "Hairence". Hairence anally wrecks Sandy and permabans her from the hair salon, sending her all the way through the desert where she finally dies of starvation.
- 41. Lil' Buddy
Clarence loses recess time because he wouldn't stop fucking with a doll he brought to school and subsequently, he slowly becomes a juvenile delinquent while his mother and friends do nothing about it.
- 42. Chalmers Santiago
Mary encourages her son to trespass the neighbor's property, because that's what good parents do. Clarence discovers that Belson is the only occupant of this residence and that he is using Clarence's electricity to play his vidya gaemz with, but nobody gives a shit because in Aberdale it's okay to be a criminal.
- 43. Tuckered Boys
Clarence and friends trip out on their own psychosis.
- 44. Water Park
Clarence and friends line up at the "Curd Churner", a water slide that operates from the rooftop of a tall, unstable building susceptible to massive damage. While waiting in the line, Clarence sees the Water Park's mascot, "Squirty" and harasses him non-stop, going as far as to steal the costume like a crazy nigger. Josh (surprisingly hasn't killed himself at this point), goes postal and chases Clarence to the top of the Turd Turner like the pedophile he is. Shit, that Squirty costume means so much to him, he literally throws himself off the top of the building and tries to kill Clarence (and himself) in mid-air. Everyone survives, unfortunately, and the episode ends.
- 45. Where the Wild Chads Are
Chad takes Clarence to a camp site and fucks him in the asshole. Clarence RAEGS and in retaliation, throws all of the camping supplies into a river in an attempt to challenge Chad into survival of the fittest. Chad proves he's a good stepdad by prolonging Clarence's inevitable death when he nearly drowns in the river.
Holy shit Chad is an Adventure Time fanfaggot in this episode.
- 46. Breehn Ho
Jeff and Breehn have a bitch-fight over a stupid board game. Breehn emo-quits by jumping out of the window and getting stuck in a huge flood, forcing Clarence, Sumo and Jeff to go rescue him. Chad's chainsaw terrorizes the kids and somehow functions while submerged in water and nearly rips Clarence's stump-dick open in one scene.
- 47. The Big Petey Pizza Problem
Jeff celebrates his 10th birthday at the local bowling alley, but another classmate named Gilben is also throwing a birthday party at the same location. Jeff is full of angst and threatens to drop a bowling ball on Gilben because according to Jeff; there's no such thing as sharing a birthday on the same date. Some other crap happens and Jeff apologizes for being a complete Sperg. "Gilben" is literally a soulless, inanimate object and doesn't even react to anything whatsoever, thus meaning the entire plot of this episode was useless.
- 48. The Break Up
More of Jeff's crippling assburgers is portrayed in this episode. Sumo triggers Jeff and they both get into a fight, leaving Clarence in charge of re-uniting the two fags. Completely original plot.
- 49. In Dreams
Clarence's dreams give him an existential crisis.
- 50. Balance
Balance escape the rabbit hole and tries to fuck Ms. Baker.
- 51. Spooky Boo
Clarence, Jeff, Sumo, Chelsea, and Mavis explore a haunted mansion on Halloween night, but reveal that the haunted mansion is actually a retirement home. What the fuck?
Season 2
- 1. The Interrogation
This season starts off with an unfunny parody of Law & Order. Involving a crime scene where some mean words are written into a heap of sauce splashed on Mr. Reese's car. PLOT TWIST: One of the teachers did it.
- 2. Lost Playground
The kids get their school playground taken away from them after some tard ends up "hurting his cheeks" on the equipment.
- 3. Bird Boy Man
Sumo gives up school to raise a wild bird which, overtime, becomes a delinquent and eventually runs away for the lulz. Sumo breaks his leg and falls unconscious trying to chase the bird. More redneck antics, pretty much.
- 4. Freedom Cactus
Clarence invents a shitty new fad, named the "fart cactus", after becoming a newspaper editor for his school. Concerned mothers get offended over it and try to delete it from existence, only to fail because there are actually people who enjoy that shit and could probably whip up some over-saturated fanart of it in a couple of minutes.
This episode actually has a redeeming quality: it teaches you that freedom should always reign over hurt feelings.
- 5. Plane Excited
Chad has never been on an aeroplane before, so Clarence and Mary decide to take him on a flight, only for them to annoy the fuck out of every passenger and cause everyone to die in a plane crash on the way to his granny's funeral.
- 6. Escape from Beyond the Cosmic
Clarence's fat ass breaks an arcade machine Jeff was playing at the laundry, so to compensate, Clarence attempts to simulate Jeff's video-game IRL. Never. Re-enact. Video. Games. In. Real. Life. Evar. You fucking sperg.
- 7. Ren Faire
Clarence and his fuckbuddies ruin Josh's life (again), by stealing his "magic dust" and launching it into the middle of a Medieval play, causing everyone to suffer from bronchitis.
- 8. Time Crimes
Clarence goes full retard when he opens a cereal box for breakfast and obtains a wristwatch which apparently convinces him that he can manipulate time and is faced with the test of whether or not to do the right thing with his "power". He fails, because the wristwatch doesn't do shit.
Also the dick teacher isn't a dick anymore. Shame.
- 9. Saturday School
Clarence, Sumo, and Jeff are forced into Saturday detention as punishment for finally cross the threshold that separates "bad kids" from delinquents and a clusterfuck of graffiti over a school wall. While cleaning the school, they lose the classroom pet (a hermit crab), which manages to topple over a tower of desks. Somehow, it fucking survives, because logic doesn't exist in this show.
- 10. Attack the Block Party
Jeff and Sumo are convinced that Clarence was abducted by aliens, so they crash into a party because they're too autistic to tell teenagers apart from aliens. All the while Clarence forms a meth ring and performs satanic rituals on a group of spaced-out wigger junkies.
If you've watched Steven Universe, this episode may as well be "Lars and the Cool Kids", but with more virgins.
- 11. Field Trippin'
Clarence gets lost on another field trip, and steals an Indian boy's identity.
That makes two teachers who can't take roll: Virgin, and Shoop Da Whoop, who now has a mortal enemy.
- 12. Ice cream Hunt
Clarence runs around his neighborhood asking random people to take him to get some ice cream because his white trash whore mom won't. He eventually runs into a brain-dead oldfag, also named "Clarence" (the same demented fucknut from Neighborhood Grill), who agrees to take him into his pedovan to get some ice cream, and on the way they pick up Sumo and Jeff (in a desperate attempt to make this episode "interesting"). Because this guy is ancient old, he parks in the middle of the fucking highway and causes the biggest news event in the history of modern-day Arizona because no-one knows how to overtake in this state. In the end, Clarence and his tard friends get their ice cream and walk through bushes to get back home, all the while Mary does not give a single fuck about the fact that her son was technically kidnapped by some demented, crippling old fuck who no-one knows or cares about.
- 13. Company Man
Clarence steals Belson's identity and sends his dad's illegally-run company to the Nether.
- 14. Stump Brothers
Sumo and his Chorofappyskiing older brother fist each other in the middle of a desert because the house generator dun goofed.
- 15. Tails of Mardrynia
After school, Clarence invites Percy over for some bong hits, and shows him his collection of random-ass animals he has fun with in his garage. Later in the evening Percy turns Clarence's house into a Disney film, and Clarence is forced to put up with this sick fuck's psychosis.
- 16. Clarence Wendle and the Eye of Coogan
Ms. Baker invents a treasure hunt for her intellectually disabled students, which brainwashes them into becoming insane conspiratards who get on the trail of the Weird-mageddon and claim everything to be Fake and Gay.
- 17. Sneaky Peeky
Jeff steals a film trailer tape from a batshit-insane theatre for some nerdy 2/10 would not watch film, and when he plays it through a projector in his basement, he sets fire to it. Clarence and Sumo suggest recreating the film from scratch, and subsequently, they develop film-making skills better than that of Tommy Wiseau.
- 18. Game Show
At the mall, Clarence and Breehn fuck up a failing Game Show and expose the show's host faster than you could shout Keemstar.
- 19. Skater Sumo
After building a skateboard (a fucking plank of wood with wheels), Sumo tells the truth on what he thinks of Clarence, saying that he is "not extreme" enough to skate in an empty pool. Of course Clarence doesn't listen anyway and returns to the pool with rollerskates. It all goes downhill from there...
- 20. Mystery Girl
While pulling unfunny prank calls, Clarence somehow ends up chatting with a girl and they become obsessed with each other. Clarence neglects his only friends the only people who give a shit about him so that he can sit indoors all day and chat to this mystery bitch (her name is "Bella" by the way). Clarence and Bella decide to meet up IRL, and then they become boyfriend/girlfriend. Bella is like a ripoff of Connie Maheswaran; Indian, huge fucking glasses, and only fat, socially-awkward tards like them.
- 21. The Substitute
Ms. Baker brings some bugs into class and gets pissed off when no-one cares about them, so she leaves her class for an indefinite time and hires a "sandwich teacher" (*Sub*-stitute *Teacher*, HA HA GEDDIT?!!1 XDXD). The substitute teacher fails at her job, and the bugs Ms. Baker brought into class start to hatch or some shit, which urges Ms. Baker to return. And then the class watch the bugs get eaten a blue jay. The end. This episode would've been better if it were titled Two bugs one bird. Srsly.
- 22. Classroom
Filler bullshit.
- 23. Dullance
Clarence becomes a paranoid schizophrenic because everyone in Aberdale keeps asking him for his help.
- 24. Jeff's Secret
Clarence discovers that Jeff was born with an extra toe, which his lesbo moms try to keep a secret from the world. The next day at school Jeff gets triggered over any mention of the words "extra" and "toe", until he eventually exposes himself to everyone but no-one gives a fuck.
- 25. Space Race
Because Sumo and Belson suck dicks at school instead of studying bullshit they will never use in life, Ms. Baker threatens to use the banhammer on them by sending them to Summer School if their grades don't improve. So in order to avoid Summer School, they compete by building rockets.
- 26. Plant Daddies
Clarence and Sumo become Dads to a pot plant and get involved in domestic abuse, which causes their child plant to become a useless cripple.
- 27. Bucky and the Howl
Sumo becomes a furfaggot and entertains the whole school in a play where he is a some Gollum-coyote hybrid.
- 28. Worm Bin
Jeff's moms torture him by bringing a "Worm Bin" into the house. Jeff spergs out over it and tries to barricade the worms every night but Clarence breaks in for no reason and frees them, which slowly destroys Jeff's sanity.
- 29. Clarence & Sumo's Rexcellent Adventure
The class go to a museum and Sumo is taken away after getting caught stealing a tooth from one of the dinosaur exhibits. Clarence goes insane thinking that the partyvan took Sumo away, when he was actually just sitting at home after the dentist raped his mouth to get a tooth out.
- 30. Birthday
Jeff and Sumo and butthurt over Clarence inviting the entire class to his birthday party, so they ragequit. FUN FACT: Clarence's favorite color is shit.
- 31. Tree of Life
A tree that Chad carved his name into as a kid is getting chopped down because of a fungi infection. The following night, Clarence risks his life trying to "save" the tree by climbing to the top of it. Of course, he drags his friends into this pointless mess, but they ultimately end up leaving because they have better things to do. On his own, Clarence begins to hallucinate and nearly dies from falling but it's okay because some random character saves him at a cliche moment. Then the tree gets taken down. Apparently Jeff (of all people) has ape-like instincts and is a pro at climbing trees, which is really strange given that he is more pale than your average school shooter.
- 32. - 33. Capture the Flag
All of the kids in Aberdale turn their neighborhood into a war-ridden land governed by a dictatorship. Sumo is the tyrannical führer, and Clarence is God, or some shit. For some reason the people who made this thought it was a good idea to make the episode 22 minutes long. In all honesty, this probably could've been wrapped up into a 1-2 minute long Short and still have the same reputation.
- 34. Cloris
When Jeff visits his grandma at the retirement home, Clarence runs into an angry crippled bitch older than the Queen, named "Cloris". Clarence steals Cloris from the retirement home and tortures her for being an oldfag for the remainder of the episode.
- 35. Fishing Trip
Clarence goes fishing and catches everything in the lake by feeding them Chad's hair, because that's delicious to them, apparently. This continues until Chad goes bald and literally becomes Homer Simpson.
- 36. Belson's Backpack
Clarence steals Belson's backpack and discovers a disturbing fanfic about dolphinsex. So when Belson finds out that Clarence is a huge fan, they agree to supply more unnecessary sequels.
- 37. Motel
Due to a mass of diseased bugs fighting in the house, Clarence and his parents stay at a motel, where Chad and Clarence get locked into a room while Mary neglects them.
- 38. Merry Moochmas
Clarence tries to reunite Belson with his fatass cousin who stole his Game Boy Advance from him.
- 39. Pizza Hero
Shorts
- Have a Ball
Percy pretends that Gilben has a soul.
- Beauford T. Pusser
Ms. Baker's cat escapes and ruins the lives of her classmates
- Big Boy
No, that's what actually happens. He tries to find out what "mature" people do but just makes an ass of himself like always.
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