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Chuckula

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"My dark life as a goth."
A near accurate depiction of Chuckula aside from the Bacardi 151
Chuck going full-retard

Chuckula, otherwise known as Charles Robert "Chuck" Stegall II, is a racist, sexist, cross-dressing virgin and a self-proclaimed Christian vampire goth alternative model who lives in Jacksonville, Florida. Having been unemployed for over four years and making little to no effort to try and find a job, most of Chuck's time is spent playing video games, sucking up taxpayer money, jerking off while sobbing, and on the internet raging over or battling with the numerous trolls that he's managed to attract.

Chuck is incredibly easy to infuriate if given the right insult or enough heckling, usually responding with either a pathetic attempt at a retort or a ridiculous amount of status updates about it. If and when he reaches critical mass, he will promptly deactivate his Facebook account for a period of time that can last anywhere from a few hours to a week. Chuck desperately craves attention on a constant basis, particularly from Gothic ladies of the "curvy" variety, and as a result posts most of his status updates on a public setting like the idiot he is. Such attention-seeking behavior, coupled with some of the ridiculous shit he posts, has made him an easy target for trolls who have posed as, or actually are, Goth girls.

Various examples include:


   
“ 		 
Do I need to stitch up the bitches or do I need to bitch up the stitches to stitch the bitches?
  		„
  		 

— Chuck, saying what he thinks is badass

   
“ 		 
I'm so goth, I slept in a bed full of horny goth girls.
  		„
  		 

— Chuck, thinking he's hilarious

   
“ 		 
I stand for love, beauty, peace, justice and romance.
  		„
  		 

— Chuck, being delusional

   
“ 		 
Just give up Dr. Eggman, Sonic always wins against you.
  		„
  		 

— Chuck, giving commentary on one of his favorite games

Previous Quote | Next Quote



Little is known about Chuck's online habits before 2009 aside from the fact he had a Myspace page, had signed up on Facebook at the beginning of that year, and that he had made an account on MyYearbook (now MeetMe). In 2010, he also started a Twitter but due to him being a fucking moron, it was hacked. Reading some of his status updates from that period, it is safe to assume that even then Chuckula was experiencing some difficulties with trolls on the web. Despite this, Chuck couldn't imagine what was to come down the road. It would be in 2013 that he’d go from almost unknown to a joke to people from the very subculture he worshiped.



Adult Film Career

Chuck has dabbled in Solo Gay films for some time, the most well known is "Chuckula's Sexual Tears." His most famous film, "RETARDED GOTH JERKING OFF WHILE CRYING," is surprisingly a lost film despite its notoriety. Hardcore gay porn enthusiasts have been clamoring for Chuck to return to his auteur filmmaking.

https://www.xvideos.com/video5680234/chuckula_s_sexual_tears

Trolling

The thexy gothic vampire himself is notorious for an unwarranted case of self-importance, delusions, lies and fake girlfriends, vampire raaaggge, sexism, and the tendency to get butthurt and whine about it on Facebook for days. This makes him a large target for trolling, and boy it's successful. One could go so far as to call him the Gothic version of Chris Chan. In fact, one of his "girlfriends" actually convinced him to get his penis pierced by promising him sex if he did so.



Previous Video | Next Video

Mating Habits

Chuck has been openly and pathetically craving a Goth girlfriend since before the retarded zoomers who followed in his wake were finished potty training. Like his spiritual successors, Chuck has proven time and again that he's incapable of scoring even the most braindead poseur pussy due to his own retardation. The most attention that any girls have ever paid attention to Chuck's penis has been when he sends underage "Goth" girls inappropriate pictures of himself and asks for nudes in return. It doesn't help that he flies into a colorfully prejudiced rant that would make Archie Bunker himself blush about whatever group a woman falls into when she inevitably denies him sex. He publicly denies it, but secretly loves to prolapse his anus on webcam for Cyraxx and moderates his livestreams to protect his gay lover's honor.

External Links

See Also

Chuckula
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