RHJunior
RHJunior aka "Ben Bruin" is the ultimate in ultra-rightwing furries, renowned in Livejournal land for his hilarious burblings on economics, politics, science and all kinds of shit that he knows nothing about. Like all LJ demagogues, comments on his nonsense are ruthlessly deleted and unwelcome commenters banned.
To add icing to the cake of sad, he's a misogynistic 44-year-old virgin, chickenhawk, Young Earth creationist, homophobe, racist, and one of the few people to be kicked out of that band of happy furry retards called the Burned Furs for being an unbearable dick, which is like being expelled from the Jewish Defence League for being too Zionist.
His regular ranting on capitalism and welfare and the virtues of hard work is rendered infinitely ironic by the fact that he is a self-employed "professional cartoonist" who is doing so well at his chosen profession he has to regularly beg for "donations" (re: handouts) from the fans of his retarded webcomics and recently achieved the nadir of having to give up his shitbox "efficiency apartment" and go live with his folks in flyover territory.
Opinion is divided as to whether his mental state is due to fetal alcohol syndrome, being homeschooled, or being the offspring of a witless Baptist pastor so feckless and ineffectual the family had to go on welfare and food stamps several times. Current wisdom holds that the cognitive dissonance required for him to simultaneously hate anything remotely socialist while subsiding off government handouts has rendered him permanently retarded.
He is also a 300+ pound fat fuck with zero self control, who tirelessly preaches about consequences and self reliability. How he managed to get so fat while needing to beg his readers for money to buy ketchup is anyone's guess.
He also owes his readers 9000 commissions and his fans keep giving him money, proof positive that the libertarian free market economics he loves so much can sustain any number of idiots.
Ralph loves dogfucking, torture, and burly men in army uniforms and hates brown people, faggots, and the US Constitution.
Politics
RHJunior vs. D. C. Simpson
On November 15, 2006, Ralphie, annoyed by an increase in the left-wing (as perceived by him) lineup of KeenSpot, announced in his LiveJournal that he was declaring war on liberal webcomic author D. C. Simpson. He followed this up one minute later with a hastily drawn comic that in typical Ralph fashion managed to totally miss the point of Simpson's original. Ralph subsequently made a third post, calling Simpson an evil propogandist, and will doubtless make many more before he's through.
Simpson responded on his blog that he's too good to deal with the likes of Ralph, much to the disappointment of drama addicts who were anticipating a juicy slapfight between the two egomaniacs. Ralph duly responded the next day with a bizarre caricature of D. C. featuring himself as some kind of weird Neanderthal creature. Stay tuned for more crippling retardation.
The drama was picked up by an already ongoing CrushYiffDestroy thread, D.C. Simpson's fans and Ralphie's own band of mouthbreathing asslickers but has mostly died away.
Keenspot
Ralph's shoddy comics were hosted by Keenspot/ComicsGenesis, which gives comic creators their own associated forums. Naturally the forums for Ralph's comics degenerated into the expected trainwreck as he used them as a soapbox for his inane babblings, receiving the usual blowjobs from his rightwing fanboys and ruthlessly deleting any disagreeing replies. Irony intervened when he was demodded from his own forums for overuse of the delete function [1] which was apparently causing all kinds of upsets to Keenspace's forum system. Consequently he has moved his comics to their own site designed by one of his asslickers and of course equipped with a forum.
Ralph's Forum
The jewel in the badly plated brass crown tinfoil hat that is Ralph's forum is the "Debate Hall". This of course conforms to the usual Internet forum definition of debate: agree with the majority or get banned. This is the place for trolling - even the most minimally left leaning comments will be buried under an avalanche of right wing extremism not often encountered outside the Hitler Youth. Although to be fair, the Hitler Youth didn't contain a high percentage of lardy neckbeards and actually managed to get off their asses and do something constructive with their spite.
The forum inmates are Ralph's usual right wing circle jerkers; paranoid xenophobic nut jobs who believe that the filthy liebruls are going to sell America to the Arabs as soon as possible - ironically they are unable to comprehend that the Arabs already own a sizeable share of America and it was their man Bush and his daddy and his granddaddy who sold those shares. This is of course a good point to troll them with. They have a nice mix of fundamentalism and politics (because separation of church and state is for fags) and fuck-off hilarious sections on gun control (because Jesus loved guns) and why Kalifornia (sic) should be nuked.
This forum badly needs trolling.
Examples of their stupidity:
- Discussing the legislation that outlawed the Minutemen border patrols:
Race-based tactics? What the hell? These people aren't out looking for Mexicans who happen to be border-crossers. They're looking for Boarder-crosser who just happen to be Mexicans. Sheesh. Or Muslims sneaking over the border.
- On California:
Why can;t Lex Luthor sink the place?
- On finding a book in the school library that espouses the Slippery Slope theory to be a logical fallacy:
Book should have become kindling.
- On feminism
You know why I hate feminists? I'll tell you why I hate feminists. A woman who tells you she's a feminist is telling you, straight up, that she is a complainer.
LJ
Thanks to Ralph losing access to his own forum, he now contains the majority of his burblings to his livejournal. The usual standards of banning everyone who disagree has been maintained. In some cases, Ralph has been known to edit and post replies to comments made over a year ago, to banned accounts, to keep his precious walled garden of right wing idiocy together.
The lack of outraged libtards has resulted in a distinct lack of lulz, but everyone with six brain cells has jumped the LJ failboat, leaving Ralph a sad, sad king of his tiny domain.
Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote
[01:13] <strange_wulf> Start another friggin' boy band and you'll be on my
list of weekend targets...
[01:14] <deano> how about gay death metal band?
[01:15] <strange_wulf> ...fine.
[01:15] * creaWORK grumbles and gets pissy about the IRS.
[01:15] <strange_wulf> Just stay away from my kids when I finally have
some...
[01:15] <rhodin> Bah. Death metal is just good clean fun.
[01:15] <creawork> How about getting a date before you start making plans?
[01:15] <deano> eh, I don't have the voice to wail and the stomach to booze
every minute
[01:16] * Rhodin cranks up some Bolt Thrower and ponders going to bed.
[01:16] <deano> how about good old fasion gay porn?
[01:16] <strange_wulf> Crea: that was a little too close... you need to
die...
[01:17] <creawork> Ok, how about getting a girl to even think about looking
at you naked without handing over a couple hundred dollars before you make
plans?
[01:18] <strange_wulf> Have you done it?
[01:18] <creawork> Yep.
[01:19] <rhjunior> crea: the hundred dollars to bribe a reluctant hooker, or
the gay porn?
[01:19] <rhjunior> cause knowing you, it was probably both.
[01:19] <creawork> The sex without the money, thing.
[01:19] <rhjunior> And probably at the same time.
[01:19] <rhjunior> SO how drunk was she?
[01:19] <creawork> Actually, I've had offers to do gay and straight porn,
and have no interest in it doing either.
[01:20] <creawork> Not sure. She was the one trying to get me drunk.
[01:20] <creawork> Least one of them was.
[01:20] <strange_wulf> One.
[01:20] <strange_wulf> One of them. Implies a group.
[01:20] <creawork> No, implies that I've had sex with more then one woman.
[01:20] <strange_wulf> Either he's lying or he doesn't have the decency to
stick to one girl...
[01:21] <creawork> That or I don't have a problem with one-night stands.
[01:21] <rhodin> What does decency have to do with sticking to one sex
partner?
[01:21] <strange_wulf> Depends on your morals, really...
[01:21] <rhjunior> Getting laid, seriously, is nothing you can really brag
about. All it means is that either one of you was drunk, one of you was
desperate, money exchanged hands, or all three. Big deal.
[01:21] <creawork> Which I have none of.
[01:21] <strange_wulf> Much as I'd like to jump from bed to bed, I think I'd
rather find one woman who loves me and sleep with her for the rest of my sex
life.
[01:22] <rhodin> I've had sex with more than one person at once, but it
doesn't mean I didn't care a
great deal for each of them or lose any respect for/from them.
[01:22] <creawork> RH, having seen you in person, I can understand why you
think that.
[01:22] <strange_wulf> Oh, big man... "I get some and you don't 'cause
you're ugly!"
[01:22] <creawork> Oh, I wouldn't mind finding that one woman to settle down
with as well.
[01:23] <creawork> No, I don't think he gets it because of his religious
beliefs.
[01:23] <rhjunior> correction, I don't PURSUE it because of my religious
beliefs. "getting some" in a society as sex-obsessed as this one is scarcely
a monumental task.
(
strange_wulf is Ralphie's #1 fanboy and completely gay for him)
See Also
- D.C. Simpson -A liberal counterpart
- Furfag
- Republican
- Michael Savage
- Shitty Art
- Webcomic
External links
- rhjunior
- Ralph on the ComicGenesis forums
- Ralph gets mentioned on "Fundies Say the Darndest Things
- RHJunior Webcomic
- RHJunior Comic Forums - Index
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