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Will Smith
In West Philadelphia, born and raised, Will Smif is an "African American" singer, actor, and former Prince of Bel-Air. He began his career as one of the most hardcore and explicit rappers of all time, until he landed a gig on a hit TV show, and quickly cashed in his street cred for white wiminz and blow. As more and more reruns of Fresh Prince were reposted on American family television networks, he became increasingly marketed towards white audiences, to the point where Al Jolson Eminem could be considered more black. He now spends his time pretending to be a serious actor, despite the fact that you can't even look at him without thinking of the fresh prince.
The Karate Kid Remake
One day, while sitting atop a huge fucking pile of jew gold, Will and his bastard offspring decided that it wasn't enough to be responsible for some of the world's worst films, no, they wanted something more devious to prove to everyone that they are better than you. After initially experimenting with time travel, something they soon realised would cause horrible side effects, they settled for a remake of the Karate Kid. Using his acting background, Will was able to pull some strings and just like that, an abomination was spawned. After replacing the karate kid with a nigger, and karate with kung-fu, Smith was able to rest happy in the knowledge that he had kidnapped, fist-fucked and shat all over the childhoods of the people that made him what he is today.
Scientology
Smith is also a closet $cientologist too afraid to admit to the world his 'religious' views. By saying he admires $cientology but is not a part of the cult he has attempted to make it seem logical and even brilliant.
In 2004 Will donated $20,000 to The Hollywood Education and Literacy Program, a.k.a. Scientology's home-schooling program. Much like the Hitler Youth, this program is designed to bring young blood into the ranks of this cult. He also donated $1 million of his money to start a Scientology private school for the scilons to brainwash his children.
Like a true Christian, he gave crew members of the movie Hancock gift cards for a Scientology personality test at any Church of Scientology center as a wrap present when filming was done (which really wasn't a gift so much as an advertisement, as Scifags already do this kind of shit for free). He could have given them rosary beads, crucifixes or Bibles, but no, it was $cientologist propaganda. Way to be a "Student of all religions," Will!
Commemorative Bel-Air
Now this is a story all about when
My soul got infested by space aliens
And I'd like to take a minute, just lean back and sit
I'll tell you how I came to believe in some really stupid shit.
In a studio in Hollywood, young and brash
On a sitcom is where I made most of my cash
Chillin' out, acting and raking in the green
Making movies and a TV show that everyone's seen
Till a couple stars, they were up to some shit
Got me to read Dianetics and I was diggin' it
I got in one little chat with my man Tom Cruise
He said, "If you get with Scientology you just can't lose!"
I paid for an audit, and when I was read
It said I had all kinds of thetans and engrams in my head
If anything, I could say these guys had no cred
But I thought, "Naw, forget it. I wanna get ahead!"
I pulled up to the Centre about 7 or 8
And I yelled to my friends, "Yo SPs, smell ya later!"
I looked at my e-meter, and it started to beep
To guide me on my path as a new Scifag creep.
2022 Oscars Awards incident
Will Smith has always attempted to keep a squeaky-clean image in the eyes of the public. At the 2022 Oscar Awards this facade all shattered, making people shift gears into thinking he's a whiny bitch. Chris Rock, ever the classy one, decided to clown on Smith's half-wife Jada Pinkett for looking like a female Jason Statham by calling her "G.I. Jane." At first Smith laughed, not wanting to admit he was too stupid to get the joke, until Jada explained it to him and he shifted into SRS BSNS mode. Que shambling on-stage to assault Chris for the high crime of, you know, doing his job as a comedian, by giving him a simultaneously over-the-top and half-assed bitch-slap across the mouth. This public attack went viral and, despite Smith winning an Oscar later that night, this is all that will be remembered since the whole planet stopped caring about the Oscars, Will Smith, and Chris Rock at least a decade ago. At least we got a fuck-load of memes from this clown show, and got to laugh at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences more than normal for their pre-drafted "we don't condone it" message without doing anything to prove they don't condone it, like telling Smith to GTFO or calling The Popo, but just think: if they'd called the cops we could have seen Chris Rock get bitch-slapped, Will Smith get kneaded like a ball of dough, AND a bunch of Hollywood elite caught in the middle of a Chimpout in Los Angeles, all in the same night. Now that would have been more entertaining than anything put out by the entertainment industry in the past 20 years.
Artist Impressions
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An artist's depiction of Smith. -
Another great depiction. -
Will Smith if he were black.
Will on YouTube
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Gallery
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likes bacon -
Will Smith acted like a crazy nigra at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday. -
LOL WUT
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Will Smith <3 Hitler -
srsly -
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Could he be yours too? -
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Shit those bricks? -
The same but different -
Will Smith inspired a themed faggot-convention called School's Closed -
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See Also
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
- Woll Smoth
- I Am Legend
- Placentafag
- List of Unconfirmed Celebrity Scientologists
External Links
