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Anger

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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An example of an angry person
Suicide is the way to go
The atomic finger - a classic
Angry guy
File:Beeshategovernment.jpg
Bees are angry because they hate the government



"When there's just too much butthurt and no one else will stop the faggotry."


Anger is a double-edged sword. It can swing hard, but if it is swung too far, you could cut your ass clean off. But srsly, anger is an emotional state that can range from mildly irritated to flat out fuck your nuts I'm fucking gonna rape you and make you eat your babies you spit out of your loose vag, you cunt (and then doing it). Symptoms of anger include bulging eyes, gnashing teeth, clenched fists, and dong shrinkage (which is why roid users are usually angry, amirite?). Chemically, adrenaline pumps throughout your body while your heart pumps harder and your blood pressure drops. All of this tells your brain to explode.

Of course, considering the times, one must make sure to moderate their anger. In ancient times, it was perfectly okay to chop someone's cock off if they pissed you off enough. However, in the medieval times, anger was looked down upon, leading to frequent bouts of anger among the peasants and many witch trials. Now, in a more civilized world, you can get thrown in jail for "verbally abusing" a co-worker or spanking your kid. Therefore, it is best to take out your anger on a Helen Keller type of person, or some unfunny butthurt emo, furry, TARTlet, LJwhore, etc. And remember, you must always win every single argument you have, lest you incur the wrath of everyone killing and destroying all that you know and love.

Anger should always be used to show you are the alpha male (or female). Your mission is to control those around you in the quickest way possible so you may beat your chest and grow silvery hair on your back, signifying your status as extremely pissoffable. Be sure to bear your teeth often and beat the tar out of the lesser males around you, especially the elderly. Head butt frequently. And, finally, learn to scream - it doesn't even have to make any sense.


PROTIP: To release your anger, give in to your hatred.


Causes of Anger

black person are usually angry for no reason.

Many causes of anger exist in our fun world today. Below are just a handful of examples.

  • You, you newfag, meme-shitty sack of ass
  • Trolls, responsible for at least 99% of online rage.
  • Fags, especially those who make out in front of you with their mate because they want to show the world their "wuv" for each other.
  • Jailbait prostitots who wear slutty clothing to attract "just the right type" of 30 year old.
  • Pissing on your leg because you thought you got it all out when you shook your dong but you didn't.
  • $cientologists and L RON.
  • Cheap vodka, like Popov or Kamchatka.
  • Milfail.
  • TARTlets who steal people's art and claim it as their own, and then try to hide your convictions once you've found them out.
  • The Hulk. Just watching him makes you want to be angry too.
  • Whiny newfags who think they know what they're doing and have the audacity to explain to everyone they're doing it wrong.
  • Furries who get butthurt over someone arguing with them that their way of life is far from perfect.
  • The Irish, who think they invented alcohol and are the niggers of Europe.
  • When a kid barfs in a Chinese restaurant. That's a double-whammy right there. Not only did the stupid parents bring him obviously already sick, but to a Chinese restaurant of all places, which is kid talk for "gross food I will hurl on later."
  • When your boss forces you to work when you don't want to because "you're too valuable of an asset."
  • Niggers with white girlfriends.
  • Juggalos.
  • White people who want to act like a nigger. OH LAWD where'd dey go wrong??
  • That really annoying high-pitched screams babies make.
  • Atheists who think they're smarter than everyone for being "above" a religion.
  • Christians who condemn you for doing something wrong but in reality are doing the exact same thing.
  • Jews. Girl Jews, boy Jews, your Jews, my Jews.
  • Doctor Seuss when he tries to rhyme "ting tinklers" with "bam-boofers."
  • Any Chewbacca impressions.
  • When Goose died in Top Gun.
  • When someone says "Oh snap."
  • Weird fetishes, like inflation, lotion, balloons, or water sports.
  • Drunk roommates.
  • Enya or any forms of her music.
  • American made cars.
  • Feminazis, especially those that wear the high-heels and articulate each step - CLICK-fwap, CLICK-fwap...
  • Computers when they suddenly, for no apparent reason, run its processor like mad and you have to CTRL ALT DEL to fix it. Obviously, this could be a virus, another source of anger.
  • When A-Rod hits a home run and you realize that home run is worth more than what you'll make this year.

Stages of Anger

  1. Your senses spot something of immense (or even minute) faggotry.
  2. Your brain get's the "I'm pissed" signal.
  3. Your fists or mouth gets the "Do something about this piss" signal
  4. Say "I'm a mushroom cloud laying mother fucker, mother fucker."
  5. Your hair begins to glow gold and your eyes green.
  6. ????
  7. MURDER!

Anger Footage

Because sometimes you need to see it to be it.

Exploitable anger.
An anger pro.
File:Angermotivation.jpg
The Truth.

Previous Video | Next Video

When you're doing it wrong

These are the angriest pictures you will ever see

A List of Famous RL Angry People and Internet Drama Llamas

Anger Management Techniques

Technique A

A Jew speaks [1];

 
“ 		 
You clearly have issues with anger management coupled with insecurities and jealousies and control issues. Although right now you probably feel some remorse, the type of situation you described has probably happened many times before and will continue to happen unless you get help. Your behaviors might even escalate from yelling to physical violence if they haven't already. You need to take a break from this relationship and not pursue a new one until you work on this problem. Your girlfriend might want to stay by to support you, but you should really focus more on yourself for a while. If you both insist on keeping your relationship going at this point, it is imperative that she receive her own counseling (for example, what is it about her that she is attracted to someone who publicly harrasses her?) and you both might want couples work as well. I recommend finding a social worker or clinical psychologist. Tell them you have "anger management issues".

This might sound extreme to you, but I've seen this pattern a great deal and unless you take action to change the situation, it only worsens and usually both people end up very damaged in some way. You could end up in jail.

Just the fact that you wrote the question indicates a willingness to make changes. That is a very good sign. Once you get your anger/control issues in a better place, you will be open to a much more rewarding and peaceful way of life.
 

„
 

Technique B

Write articles for ED and feel all that anger being validated as you pound, pound, pound at that keyboard and hate, hate, hate. Rock on, psycho!


How to troll angry people

  • Say "chillax"
  • Say "I think you are being defensive"
  • Say "Please untie me and put away the surgical instruments"
  • Say Uncyclopedia is funny


See Also

External Links

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