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Angry Grandpa
—Angry Grandpa | ||
—Angry Grandpa | ||
—Angry Grandpa | ||
Angry Grandpa (Charles Marvin Green) is a pathetic subhuman heathen of a man, God-Emperor of the Hillbillies, and quite possibly the world's most hilarious example of trailer trash. He is renowned for tearing up entire kitchens and whatever he can possibly get his hands on over subjects pertaining to the following: shitty off-brand food plus anything that's valid enough for him to overreact to, smashing televisions and furniture, yelling at his miserable children who are equally as autistic, and unleashing farts toxic enough to permanently destroy the planet's eco-system. If little kids can make a irrelevant, disgusting hick more popular by the day, then he is a immaculate representation of how you can start from the ground up and make it big on YouTube, just like his weight. Trust us here at ED, if he wasn't making videos right now, he would've probably an hero'd due to his psychotic, schizophrenic behavior, and we would all genuinely appreciate that!
Beginnings
Charlie Green was raised in a poor hillbilly family living in a trailer complex. As trailer trash yield little to no social intelligence nor class, little Charlie was basically the poster-boy for hillbillies everywhere - young, dumb, full of cum, and yielding an unhealthy obsession with smoking and beer. Instead of being whisked off to a higher land promising social class and a degree of wealth, Grandpa grew up in his hillbilly haven and eventually found love in the form of Tina - his mentally-challenged crackhead of a bulldyke wife EX-wife. This union was made during what must have been a fit of intoxication among the worst levels. Grandpa and Tina decided to have hot steamy dirty raunchy sex the old fashioned hippie way - this yielded four horrible ugly children whom are as detrimental to the human race as the mass of Facebook's userbase.
At some point, Grandpa began losing it. He became a compulsive alcoholic like his own father and became increasingly angry and borderline abusive towards everyone around him. One Christmas, he decided to take out his wild impulses on his daughter's children in the form of telling them that Santa Claus ain't real. This is where old Grandpa's life took a turn for the worse.
One of Grandpa's kids Michael Green took a video highlighting his father's insane rage and shared it on the internet. This spread like wildfire in an oil field, catching hundreds of thousands of views. As Grandpa is already a basket case, Michael found it suit to film him going nuts on his own impulse or by pulling off amazing pranks to purposely piss him off. These pranks range from genuinely lulzy to forced shit just to make Michael's account gain more views and monies. As ol' Grandpa has aged on and become more senile, it is more common to see him provoked instead of letting him rage on his own. Warranted? You be the judge.
The Current State of Things
Recently, Michael bought Charlie a new house, complete with an above-ground swimming pool in the back yard. It wasn't long before Charlie had accidentally backed his van into the pool, causing it to spring a tiny and easily-fixable leak. This led to a major meltdown between the two, and Charlie is now living in a tent in the back yard. His stance is that Michael is being mean to him, and is now camping out and acting like a pathetic victim who everyone always picks on (Jesus, you'd think the guy was a Jew or something). This of course has led to a bunch of arguing and autistic screaming from Michael, with Bridgette pretending that she's the center of everything, as usual. More to follow.
Social Justice Bullshit
Grandpa and the crew are naturally not smart citizens. They do not comprehend the universal concept of "do unto others as others shall do unto yourself" despite Grandpa being a Catholic Baptist Non-Denominational-Christian and Pickleboy a fairly moderate Agnostic. Instead, everyone warrants an air of self-importance over little reason and cause than their existence. To make their vapid, self-obsessed existences look halfway tolerable, they now support shitty social justice causes including "women's rights", "gay marriage", and of course the most laughable of all: "respect". The same man who's driven to up-throw his entire living room in rage is now telling us to be nicer to each other. His same son who cried over The Office finishing up is also going to tell us about the joys of liberal ideology and mutual respect while tearing apart wresting action figures and DVDs. Let's all put the Iron to the E now.
Additionally, Charles himself has been unsurprisingly shown to be a massive hypocrite. He despises Mexicans (not that there's anything wrong with that), and frequently makes racist comments to people over the phone. The hypocrisy comes into play, however, when Charles released this video:
That's right, the man who constantly hollers racist insults at people over the phone then pretended to be upset when some nigger thug was killed by an honest neighborhood watch member who was only trying to keep good, clean white people and their families safe.
Show Proven Fake
Some time in 2013 an anonymous Youtuber claiming to have been a member of the Angry Grandpa's "inner circle" uploaded a video exposing email and Facebook correspondence between him and Charlie as well as Michael. He was apparently butthurt over a fall-out he had with the duo over a website he had offered to create for the show, and decided to pull a "GrandpaGate" by spilling the beans that several (and likely all) of the skits were staged, such as a video where Pickleboy claims that Grandpa smashed his TV, and the "John Assanti war" videos which the two channels staged just to get the fans of each others' channels fighting.
(The original video was apparently removed and re-uploaded, possibly due to DMCA abuse or false flagging.) The screenshots clearly show Charlie and Michael admitting that that several skits are "works" (carnival jargon for staged skits). This of course didn't stop the fanbois from fawning over the show and keeping the Youtube views coming.
Later the Show fucked up again in a tattoo parlor skit where Angry Grandpa Smashes a guitar. Viewers were quick to point out that the black guitar had been swapped with a green one from a previous video; but Pickleboy didn't even have the guts to admit he'd been busted and produced another fake video on his "KidBehindACamera" channel attempting to retroactively explain it, his fans of course lapping it up without question:
McJuggerNuggets
Grandpa and Michael tried to start a series (which failed horribly, by the way) with McJuggerNuggets, another pussified YouTuber who had a series identical to theirs until he proved that it was fake all along, and a specific section inside Jesse's article goes into detail on this. This, much like the section you see below, resulting in people saying that it was 'fake' and etc., which was pretty obvious from the start since they both have each other's channels in their 'featured channels' list.
Cancer
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Did You Know: On February 10th, 2017, Angry Grandpa got cancer in his head. |
Ludicrous Fanbase
"Angry Grandpa" has acquired a mass of idiotic fans who don't just watch the videos for cheap laughs like every smart person. Instead, these people wage comment wars over which member of Grandpa's family is dumbest, most violent, smartest, least sane, and so forth, because they can't grasp the fact that they are just like every typical, low-class Southern family in America, and want to treat them like they're internet celebrities or some shit. Whom to cheer for, whom to wish dread and misery upon, and of course which group of people Grandpa should rage at next. These range from castrated whiteknights who typecast Bridgette as a poor abused girl who is forced to deal with two stupid fatasses (because women can never do any wrong on their own) to people who think Grandpa is a well-intent family man who's just upset at how his kids turned out. Fierce debates over the integrity of Pickleboy's motives are brought up as well - is he a simple kid who wanted to bring himself out of trailer drudgery, or is he a thieving scam artist who's exploiting his senile father for as much money as he can make? The answers for all of this reside in a very simple phrase. The second-most widely spread comment wars are between faggots proclaiming the videos as fake, and the people with brains in their heads being forced to remind these cretins that the videos are made for entertainment. This, of course, leads us to...
The AGP Drinking Game
Here's how to play:
- Acquire vodka and a shot glass.
- Go to any Angry Grandpa video and scroll down to read the comments.
- Drink a shot any time some fuckwit proclaims that the video is "fake".
- Die within five minutes from alcohol poisoning.
Have fun!
The Hillbilly Circus
Charles (Charlie) 'Angry Grandpa' Green - An old angry fatass who suffers from an alcohol addiction and is theorized to have Bipolar disorder, causing him to spin out of control at any given moment. Has been banned from every Wal-Mart in a 100 mile radius for doing horrible things like smashing a jar of jelly against the wall and swearing at employees. Despite understandably griping about the country's welfare state status, he himself lives off food stamps and constant support from his son Michael. These days he is less angry and more senile, resulting in a bit less legit lulz compared to the olden days where he'd flip shit at the drop of a hat. One of his most widely-known characteristics is his ability to unleash deadly and explosive farts, which is an ability he gained as a result of his gastric bypass surgery. After the tattoo prank and the destruction was aired on April 19th, 2015, Grandpa acted like he's some innocent saint and gave Michael the silent treatment along with his 'divorce' like he wasbreaking up with him as he thinks of Michael as a ex-son, leading some to think this might be the end of the Angry Grandpa Show. (However a few videos later, Charlie and Michael were on good terms again with no explanation given).
Michael 'Pickle Boy' Green - Charlie's fatass monstrosity of a son and overall sissy boy. Despite being the ultimate symbol of modern America's youth, he is only redeemed in having filmed his father's insane outrages over the years. This is where his redeeming qualities end - he is morbidly obese, eats like a cow, resembles a female Bono (he has even dressed up as a woman in public), and voted for Obama twice. He is also a massive fan of wrestling, and is known to throw massive hissy fits himself over this. He finally got his ass handed to him upon raging at the results of the 2014 WWE Royal Rumble which multiple talk-show and radio hosts took aim at his utter lack of decency, masculinity, and his habit of grunting like a prostitute in anguish (upon seeing the news about himself, he wound up even more butthurt). He is named Pickle Boy because he ate his own dick in thoughts that it was a leftover pickle. It should also be noted that Michael is a complete and utter pussy, and never claims responsibility for the fucked up things he does to his loved ones.
Tina Green - Angry Grandpa's ex-waifu and example of why meth is bad. A lazy, drugged out, thoughtless heathen obsessed with Elvis, Tina was the perfect match for Grandpa being stupid and insane herself. She only married Grandpa for the sake of hot dirty sex and never thought out the consequences of living with your male mirror counterpart for the rest of your life. Nor did she think out how awful an idea it was for two stupid hillbillies to have children. She divorced ol' Charlie in 2012, and probably lives in a dumpster full of Elvis memorabilia. Despite divorcing his sorry ass, she's still a lunatic who looks like Emperor Palpatine in drag. A podcast interview with Angry Grandpa revealed that despite her miserable appearance, she is actually a raging psychopath who is exponentially more dangerous than her ex-husband, once going as far as to setting their trailer on fire and watching it burn from across the street.
Bridgette 'Princess' West - Michael's desperate cow of a girlfriend. Joined up with the manlandwhale after finding his MySpace profile and thinking his shitty emo profile picture was sort of cool. She is also fat and bears the dining etiquette of a diseased cow. In recent months she's ballooned in weight, to the point of rivaling her lawful master and eventual hubby. This was dismissed as the side effects of medication, though a basic look around the house suggests something more corpulent in nature. This is ironic as fans used to come to Bridgette's defense under pretense that she was hot. Upon gaining weight, fans now see her for the true ignoramus she really is and habitually spam video comments with remarks on her obesity. She primarily lives with Michael by choice for the sake of love, warmth, and happiness money, proving once more that she is in fact stupid on her own - this shatters the long-standing myth that all women are simply crazy from being forced to live with stupid men, as she made the fucking choice herself. Luckily, her mass of white knights have fallen apart upon this realization, giving a small glimmer of hope that humanity isn't entirely doomed. She is also known to tell Angry Grandpa behind Pickledick's back that he is being pranked, causing Michael massive butthurt.
Tina (The neighbor) - Horrifying bulldyke who happens to live near Grandpa's poopcave. She is a veritable nightmare made flesh, from being morbidly obese to not wearing a bra to finally screaming like an air raid siren. She is one of relatively few people to invoke fear into Grandpa, effectively pussy-whipping him into submission. Sadly this perfect couple will never wed - she's married to a pimp who she had at least four kids with. And yes, she lives in a fucking trailer.
Derrick - Possibly the only sane character on the show and is actually a pretty cool guy. He runs Sub Station II, a local sandwich restaurant. Nothing more can really be said about him here, because being so sane and ordinary, there is very little footage of him. Therefore, not much is known about him.
Jennifer Green - Grandpa's shitmongling daughter, whom is only slightly less cringe inducing than Michael. While not morbidly obese, she still bears the family genes of wielding a total lack of intellect, ranging from having kids she refused to support to mingling with men after divorcing her first husband. Got her shit handed to her by Grandpa, and has slowly learned the values of not being a total piece of filth. It doesn't help she still looks creepy, however. Also has the most annoying voice imaginable. Seriously, she sounds like a chipmunk on helium.
Batista - Object of Michael's massive rage. Unlike Grandpa's lulzy fits from candy and the economy, Batista is simply a bought-and-paid wrestler doing his job to make a living. This, somehow, is terrible to poor old Michael, who called out Batista as a scam artist who clouts up the wrestling system from other newer trainees. What Michael doesn't care to know is wrestling is fake - it's soap opera for men - and of course this lead to one of the most cringeworthy videos uploaded on Youtube yet. Despite his relevance to Michael, Batista has nothing to do with the moron masses personally.
JC Green - The son of Jennifer, he is the eldest of the 4 or so kids that came out of that bitches vagina. He is quite shy, and probably is an asspie. Maybe if Pickledildo didn't film him all the time if they were in the same room. He has been in trouble a lot in school shown in one of Pickledicks vlogs. They need to lighten this kid up from his depression or he will pull an Adam Lanza.
Things Angry Grandpa has broken
- Washing Machine
- Keyboard
- Michael's door
- Michael's anus
- Bridgette
- Bridgette's old laptop
- Microwaves
- Barbecue
- Fruit rack
- Grandchildren's belief in Santa
- The walls
- Door knob
- Car battery
- Valentine's Day balloon
- His grandchildren's feelings
- Tina's heart
- Pimento cheese
- Christmas lights
- Christmas tree
- Tina's tax forms
- His belt
- Tina
- Tina's vagina
- Grape jelly
- Some chairs
- Computer monitor
- Screen Door
- Swimming pool
- Slip n' Slide
- Tina's Elvis crap
- Elvis Experience tickets
- Metal utility shed
- His toenail
- Stomach cyst
- Michael's camera
- Michael's HDTV
- Microwave (again)
- Toaster
- Stove/Oven
- Refrigerator
- Stereo
- Bathtub (along with rest of bathroom)
- Michael's HDTV
- Dryer (again)
- Fatboygetdown
- Marriage with Tina
- Xbox 360
- Couch
- Another couch
- Dryer again
Michael's PS4It was a fakeMichael's PS4 (Again)Still didn't do it- An electric hair trimmer, but only after he had shaved Michael's head half-bald first.
- Yet another microwave
- A safe
- Michael's PS4 (For real this time)
- Another table
- An expensive guitar from the tattoo shop
- Michael as his son after the tattoo prank
- Michael's coffee table
- Michael's HDTV (again)
- His swimming pool
- His back porch/deck (He needed firewood)
- His ceiling fan
- Michael's entire kitchen
- Bridgette's feelings
- Numerous Halloween pumpkins
- A back yard trampoline
- An air conditioning unit
- A Samsung Galaxy S7
- An iPad Pro
- His front door
- Another iPhone, while playing Pokémon Go
- Michael's sanity
- Nintendo Switch
Places Grandpa's Been Banned From
- Charlie Brown's Seafood Market
- Cici's Pizza
- McDonald's
- Papa John's Pizza
- Target
- Wal-Mart
- A local tattoo shop
Pickleboy's Tard Rages
- Pickleboy ruins Sunday dunner while Angry Grandpa is still pissed over the tattoo prank.
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also
- Burger the Angry Cat
- Old people
- Bi-polar
- Fatass
- Redneck
- Rage
- Psychopath
- Fake
- McDonalds
- South
- Tourette's Guy - Angry Grandpa's long lost son?
External links
Grandpa's YouTube channel
Michael's YouTube channel
Michael's old YouTube channel
Bridgette's YouTube channel
Grandpa's Twitter
Michael's Twitter
Bridgette's Twitter
Grandpa's Facebook
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