Science

Science is a way of explaining Earth in its own form. Science ranges from basic beginnings, Biotic and Abiotic, to explaining complex compilations of atoms to make molecules, which makes a material, and when those materials are combined, they make the pornography you fap to. Some things can never be explained by science, but that won't stop them motherfuckers from lyin' about it and getting you pissed.

History

The first science was invented by some transvestite cunt called Isaac Newton. Since apparently he was the first person in human history to wonder why the fuck things happen, he created this shit called gravity and for some reason the dumb fucks actually still believe him to this day. Despite the fact that Newton copyrighted gravity, over 9000 years later Albert Jewstein was born and he immediately started creating bullshit theories that the retards called "scientists" actually believe. He discovered that light was real and this pissed Hitler off so him and his army of illiterate cunts chased Albert Jewstein out of Germany. Albert went to the united nations of American land of all places and it was here he fabricated the most obscenely bullshit theories ever heard of including the theory of Gaytivity. After Jewstein was assassinated by John F Kennedy, the smartest science to ever live called Stephen Hawking discovered Jewstein's papers and freaked out when reading them, causing him to become paralyzed. Jewstein then went on to win 150 Noble peace prizes even though he did absolutely nothing.

Scientific Method

These are the following guidelines of the scientific method as proceeded:

• Learn ridiculously obscure, advanced and abstracts words.
• Learn needlessly complex math: especially statistics.
• Write a TL;DR essay with aforementioned wording and math, which no one bothers to read except a guy who gets payed to do it.
• ...Success and profit! Your professional life is now just as sensational as your sex life.
• Never stop trying.

Branches of Science

Natural Science

This is science done using only the purest natural ingredients. All ingredients must conform to rigorous standards developed and enforced by the Royal Institute of Natural Organic Science. Many scientists who practice natural science are hippies.

Some scientists like Richard Dawkins have tried to use natural science to try and get rid of religion after being raped by God when he was a kiddie. Sadly, when Atheists use science, stupid shit happens. Natural scientists such as Richard Dawkins are no lifers who sit on YouTube all day long criticizing religion. When their lazy asses has finally left their computers, they spend their time self-righteously mocking theology while not knowing what the fuck they are talking about. At least 100 years ago their sinfulness incurred God's wrath, which made God unleashed a great flooding that pwned everyone except Abraham and his favorite sex buddies (his wife, his children, and tons of tons of animals). Stalin, Hitler and Pol Pot has since then carried on the Lord's tradition of mass murdering the worshipers of Lucifer, and are now getting rewarded in heaven. (If you don't understand the irony of this entry, you are hereby ordealed by all that is decent to STFU about things you don't know jack shit about.)

Computer Science

Nerd shit that allows even the most idiotic of niggers become elite hackers.

Physics

Physics is a branch of science that deals with the study of origami and knot-tying. Physicists shit on every other belief system that requires you to believe in something that can't be seen. Ironically, they often resort to the same pedantry: using such dubious ideas as "dark matter", "dark energy", "strings", and "gravity" to try to create a universe that doesn't collapse back in on itself in the first five minutes of the film. However, quantum theory seems to be more accepted as the years plod on. Quantum theory, developed by a Jew believed to be an Asspie, and further elaborated on by a cripple, is especially designed to be as unintelligible and complicated as possible, so that the peons may not learn the secrets of their university graduate overlords. A basic explanation of Quantum Theory is the Shroedinger's Cat example. A cat, locked in a box, may die, but you won't know until you look. Until then the cat is in a state of "quantum flux", I.E the cat is both alive AND dead, simultaneously. Of course, any scientist can tell you, that is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die. This means Quantum Theory may or may not be right.

OF course, of all the shitty ideas, religion seems to be able to work freely in conjunction with the most sound "theory". Using Quantum Theory, you can easily say that all religions can be proven and all atheists suck cocks.

Genetic Engineering

Genetic Engineering is an exciting renewed field created by Nazis due to the sad fact that liberals weren't nearly as afraid of the unspeakable machine-god known as "Science" as they ought to be. The primary output of Genetic Engineering is "Frankenfood" which keeps niggers from starving to death, thus keeping the hideous cancer known as humanity on blessed Mother Earth. Many furfags hope that genetic engineering will rid them of their basement-dwelling, fat, cancer-ridden bodies and restore them to their true form, but anybody with an I.Q. of 25 or above knows that this is about as likely as building a thetan-powered car.

Additional tools are being developed, like nanotechnology, to improve genetic engineering, and there is hope that one day it will finally cure the tragic disease known as faggotry.

Nuclear Physics

Nuclear Physics, also invented by the Nazis, as a way of furthering their total eradication of gypsies, lessers, and the greedy. They never finished their research before the communists burned Berlin to the ground. The Americunts were butthurt over having everyone else do all the actual work, so with all their massive reserves of jew gold, and needing a new way of raping the fuck out of everyone else for not srsly acknowledging that the US did all the work, told all the captured Nazi scientists they could work for the US for a six-figure salary and having everyone else 'forget' about their war crimes, or spend the next fifty years taking it in the ass. With the Nazimericans building the A-bomb, the Russians wanted in on the action and with similarly employed Nazi scientists began building their own nukes. This led to the Americunts pointing all their missiles at those communist money-worshiping rapists, and the Russians pointing all their missiles at those capitalist christfag fat fucks, even though if it weren't for the Russians we'd all be speaking German and making a morning prayer to Zombie Cyborg Hitler. So can't we all just get along?

What scientists look at all day

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NOTE: This is what scientists look at all day.

Gallery

The Gallery of Tomorrow! About missing Pics

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  What genetic engineering means for you.
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  How science is done in the real world.
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  The boringer side of science.
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  Science can be used to determine a person's true ethnicity.
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  FRINGE SCIENCE!!!!!!!
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  Science gives you good advice.
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  The drink of tomorrow!
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  Proof that science and complete bullshit. Fusion is a lie.
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  FOR SCIENCE
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  Scientists cannot explain how Moses parted the Red Sea. (o rly?)
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  The most effective counter-argument when dealing with conflicting data.
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  Science in the old days got shit done a different way.
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  All toasters toast
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  A scientific experiment.
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  Dr. Steel, a typical Scientist.
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  Best selling science book.
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  The Science of Bras
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  The Science News Cycle
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  Atheists always hated science.
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See Also

• Troll Science
• Carl Sagan
• Einstein
• Evolution
• Facts
• Magnetostatics
• Logic
• Portal
• Richard Dawkins
• Steins;Gate
• /sci/ - The worst board ever created.
• The Big Bang Theory
• Thunderf00t
• Science inventions by the wimmins by accident
• WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?

External Links

• 4chan's Science Board
• Quantum bogodynamics
• Quantum bogodynamics. Again.
• Troll Science
• Test-retest reliability of the measurement of penile dimensions in a sample of gay men. I would have altered the methodology were I in charge; I would have collected all of the measurements personally. Either way, it's tax monies well spent.

Science is part of a series on SCIENCE! [FizzlePop]

Great Minds Alan Turing • Albert Einstein • Aristotle • Bill Nye • Charles Darwin • L. Ron Hubbard • Nikola Tesla • Richard Dawkins • Sir Isaac Newton • Socrates • Stephen Hawking Theories Balloon Boy • Theoretical physics • God • Existence • Evolution • Global Warming • Look Around You • Memes • Computer Science III • Large Hadron Collider • Apophis • How is babby formed? • The Comprehensive Theory of Lulz • Schrödinger's cat • Schrödinger's Cunt • Zero Division Proven by Science Alternative Medicine • Chemistry • Cubic Time • Earth • George Bush doesn't care about black people • Giant Thumbs • God hates fags • Gravity • HAARP • Intelligent Design • JEWS DID WTC • Motor Oil • No girls on the internet • Ouija Board • Duct Tape • Pluto • Raelism • The Moon • Scientology • Tree Hugging • Trepanation • Uranus Science in Action! 2024 Eclipse • Archaeology • Butyric Acid • Creationism • Diabeetus • Drugs • Electricity • Fire • Heart • Lawnmower • Lead • Lens flare • Magnetostatics • Marijuana Addiction • NASA • Nanotechnology • Nuclear War • Pain (Physical) • Sex • Tay • Thiopental Sodium • Uranium • WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?

Science is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.