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Revision as of 05:55, 6 April 2017
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BY LOOKING AT THIS ARTICLE YOU ARE AGREEING TO OUR ToS. That means we'll fine you for $1000 if you do anything at all. |
MapleStory is a shitty 2D anime-style MMORPG originally developed by the South Korean company Wizet. Eventually, Nexon, another South Korean company, merged with Wizet, and their American branch took control of Global MapleStory (a.k.a. Maple Story for Americunts). Think of an unholy cross between Gaia Online, Mario, everything evil ever to be included on the internets, and any other color- and anime-overdosed game. Maple was arguably the most popular F2P game in the world in the 2000s, and as such the player base constantly argued with the Ragnarok Online fans over which game is better, which is complete bullshit because we all know every MMO game sucks.
MapleStory is infamous for a wide variety of reasons, but to sum it up in a sentence, it would be "the same problem Wikis suffer from, in that anyone can be a contributing member." As MS was arguably the pioneering free-to-play MMO, it soon became the staple argument for "why free things in life suck, particularly free MMO games." With access given to any moron with a computer and a working Internet connection, was it any surprise?
The gameplay is much superior to many other MMOs such as World of Warcraft as you don't just click an enemy and spam your same shitty macros over and over; you actually have to put in a bit of effort. After 5 minutes though, it becomes a tenuous grindfest spamming the same 2-3 techniques over and over for hours on end just to rack up 5% exp towards your next level while you develop carpal tunnel. The financial aspect of the game is even worse. In the original maple era, you would grind for several hours to make enough money to get the items and weapons you need. Nowadays, equips you need automatically drop for you on occasion. However, like every MMO, unless you shed some of your wallet for in-game cash to buy l33t gear, you will be outclassed by every other player.
Community wise, the game is made up mostly by underage weeaboo trash who drain even more of daddy's money so they can spend $30 to make their characters (under 300 pixels) look so kawaii~ (◕‿◕✿) through the Pay-to-win system known as the Cash Shop. In the first few years, Maple had an awesome laid back community. Sure, there were dickheads, as there are everywhere in this fucked up world. But in the good old days, people were pretty cool. That has entirely changed a decade later- most of the players are trolls, egotistical weeaboos, or fags from reddit. Like most MMOs, the community aspect of the game is garbage now, defeating the entire purpose of playing the genre.
Maplestory is like your first girlfriend you made in Middle School that you really loved and got attached to. But she became a weeaboo feminist freak and you quickly lost interest in. She became nicer to you in order to suck you back in for your money, resulting in you binge-dating her for the next decade, never truly committing to her.
In recent years, the game has been drastically reshaped, removing most of the original content and items, although said items still remain in oldfags inventories. We suggest you sell your OG gear for a fuckload of cash on the free market.
In essence, MapleStory is an endless grind for damage numbers while you hear the same headache-inducing 2 minute song loop continuously for hours.
Community
To begin with, one of the worst parts of MapleStory is undoubtedly the community. MS holds (or rather, held, in a sense) the honor of being the only F2P game whose influence reaches across the world, and thus has what some argue is proven to be the worst MMORPG community ever, even worse than that of EVE Online, World of Warcraft and RuneScape which are all inhabited by the lowest forms of life in the universe anyway.
What started as a relatively small community of average NORPs grew into a morass of illiterate, drooling Wapanese fucktards as the game became popular. 99% of MapleStory players suffer from severe levels of unwarranted self-importance, as well as being generally gullible, brainless, and aggressive enough to make the average World of Warcraft player flinch. Keep in mind that 90% of MS players are obnoxious 13-year-old boys but without exception all MS players are mentally handicapped - fuck, ALL MMORPG players are mentally handicapped - which explains everything mentioned so far. Many MS players are even willing to spend IRL money on the game's useless Cash Shop items, cementing their lack of contribution to mankind in stone.
Not only all of that shit, but you can also get married to someone you just met online. Yes, you heard me, you get married in this sad-ass excuse for a game by spending basically $10 to show everyone in this hell-hole that your "SUP3R SPESHUL" while all you get is a bunch of faggy looking hearts flying around your dick. Plus your spouse is probably a guy IRL, as there are no girls on the internet.
The best case scenario for these gelatinous whiny fucktards is making themselves their parents bankrupt from spending their hard earned cash on absolutely fucking useless shit. The worst case scenario for them is to gracefully commit hara-kiri in order to restore hope back to the human race. They slowly and monotonously click away at monsters gaining minuscule points wasting their life away like the scum they are. Anyone with a properly functioning brain knows not to play this game.
Not a day goes by on MapleStory where there isn't a microphone spammer making his brainlessness obvious to mankind (Let's face it. Most are just as stupid as him/her), or drama in between guilds, or even guild infighting. This carries over to the equally stupid forums and fansites that have sprung up from this beast.
And worst of all, MapleStory undoubtedly holds the highest concentration of Wapanese of any MMO in the world. Yes, moreso than Ragnarok Online, World of Warcraft, Everquest, or any of those other piles of crap.
All of this points to (and simultaneously stems from) the fact that, of course, MapleStory is serious fucking business.
There are those who dare to play this game without buying stupid virtual clothing, but the 99% of the population that aren't faggots begging for "MESARS PL0X" will attempt to run the people who aren't fucking stupid out of the game.
In short, the "community" makes 4chan look like college graduates with Ph.D's. Even Ragnarok Online private server communities have better people than this (though that isn't saying much).
And it all contributes to the cesspit of shit and waste that is the game itself.
Game
- Hold a key.
- ????
- You are now a piece of shit.
Srsly, that's what you'll be doing the majority of the time. Being 2D, the only thing you'll ever be able to do is stand next to a monster, hold whatever the fuck key your attack is on, and watch the screen like a retard. And stare at the screen at the screen you will, because it takes a long fucking time to level up. The highest level is 250, but almost nobody reaches it because it takes over nine thousand hours to reach that. No, seriously, 10,000 hours is a generous estimate.
As you sit on your naked, fat ass, waiting for your level up which is hours away, you will encounter a variety of shitheads sooner or later. There are always at least 100 script kiddies waiting to hax up your map, and all of them will no doubt flame you on how "ur dmg sux", "ur eyes rnt slantd liek mines", etc.
Then there's a whole army of Mexican retards who will spam the shit out of you, until either you give them "100 sqishy liquidz@@@@@@, or they get V& for smuggling crack via their sister's asshole.
Also, be aware that there are no girls in MapleStory. If someone with a name like "lilaznqtx3" starts asking to be your gf, sign off, close and lock all windows and doors, buy a dog, etc. It's the pedobear, and he's looking for some fresh ass. First, it's Pedobear, not the pedobear. Second, Pedobear is only into loli. Get your facts straight, newfag.
DO NOT play this if you happen to be one of the following:
- A PETA member. Maple Story requires you to get over your ovaries and fucking kill baby seals to get money to buy a larger, better knife that slices through them like butter. Yes. Baby Seals.
- A God fearing Christian Maple story is constantly filled with weeaboo faggots that mainly worship Naruto, for great faggotry. A majority of these players will be the assassin class, who will always KS you and call you a noob, just for being on their channel while they are grinding to Linkin Park.
- People with fucking money. Maple Story noobs have the tendency to falsely report your ass to the game mods because they think you hacked the game just to get blue hair.
- Anyone with common sense.
- Anyone who has a life.
- Anyone who is not a complete and utter douchefuck.
- Curly
Maple Kombat
A Maple Story gay porn series made by a nigger mage, who apparently is an attention whore and bawwwwws when JewTube mutes his non-copyrighted porn songs UNTIL he decides to cut the gay porn music and re-uploads it for the 18th time.
Perfect example
Let's all take a look at the comments of the video. Full of Nexon whore comments and bad grammared shit.
Maplers on JewTube
If you ever make a shitty maplestory video (MMV) you will get spammed with 5/5s and suck-up comments by 16 year old whores(maybe even 13 fags). In short, its just a bunch of whores who make shitty videos with the camera basically moving to the left and playing their faggy music.
Perfect Example of this faggotry
— iLucyxD | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
What the person that made this "video" was thinking (and all the MMV fags): O HAI I HAV IDEA I WILL TAIK MANI PICTUR EN PUT ON SONEY VEGAS
Classes
Admin
They don't fucking exist, lol.
The powerful GMs don't know anything about running an MMO. They don't really do anything, all they care about are people who shout "GMS ARE F@GS", who they swiftly ban while hackers run amok.
Once every 100 years, GMs will hold special "events" where maplers can compete against each other on teams or solo for incredibly shitty prizes. These happen so rarely, some people will go their whole maple life without seeing an event (or even a GM, since they're too busy being invisible in the woman's sauna, jacking it).
There was a brief time where GMs went on a fucking banning spree and it seemed they were getting some work done. After the next patch, the hackers returned, and the GMs went back to being lazy assholes.
Beginner
Now here is a class that truly deserves getting raped in the ass (Yes, all of them deserve this but this one really needs a good buttfuck). The worst class of all; even worse than a fucking bowman. You start on the noob island with weak-ass weapons, such as knives, clubs, and purses (further proof of faggotry: male characters can equip purses as weapons). You use them to attack beginner mobs like snails and mushrooms. Beginners get 3 shitty skills: speed boost for 10 seconds, health recovery for 10 seconds, or throw some snail shells for damage. People who are a beginner and are over lv20+ are either mules, or idiots who think they're cool for leveling up with no skills or good weapons/armor. They are known as super-beginners or maple islanders (the beginning map's name). People even waste enough time to get to about level 120 or so with this class. They are known as idiots. Even as early as 2008, some autists from Taiwan managed to get to Lv 200 using only a beginner.
Generally, the population of permaginners remains under 9000. In the original days of Gayple, a subculture called "Islanders" existed where the goal was to never leave the noob island. The highest leveled mobs around were Mushrooms that granted only 15 xp. Somehow, people have managed to max their level using this setback, proving just how fucking autistic this game's community is. Get a life you crazy sod.
As the game has evolved, so too have the amount of classes available. Thus, several different ways of being a beginner exist:
- Explorer- the original 4/5 classes all start out as beginners until level 8/10. Choosing a beginner this way results in having no speed bonuses or multi-attack ability. Only hardcore autists choose this path anymore.
- Aran- if you refuse to advance to your job when you create an Aran, you'll be able to strike multiple mobs, making your leveling a fuckload faster.
KoC- Choose to be a Knight of Cygnus or whatever the fuck, and you'll be able to jolt around the map for low MP costs. Resistance- Choosing a beginner this way gives you some other bonus nobody gives a fuck about.
Warrior
All warriors are meat-shields in the game and require no intelligence.
Fighter
- You fuck shit up with your long sword.
- Advance to SUPER FIGHTER!
- Can't even count to 5.
Spearman
- You stab things with long pointy objects.
- Advance to Dragon Knight. 99% of warriors are DKs.
- Able to survive longer due to health-increasing abilities.
Page
- You smash things with blunt weapons.
- Has control of the elements, but still manage to have shitty damage.
- Advances to, ah, who cares, pages suck cock.
Thief
99.9% of thieves are 13 year old boy Narutards. They think dressing in all black, or even in some cases cosplaying as Naruto (yes, there are items made to look like Naruto's outfit as well as Rukia/Renji from Bleach), is so fucking sweet, Dattebayo!
Assassin
- They are thick-headed retards who jump around and use kunai and throwing stars as weapons.
- Usually named xXaznsin666Xx or sinforLYFE.
- Advances to Super-Asshole-Ninja-Dick-Suckers.
- Able to throw shit (no srsly) but its a cash item so noone buys it.
Bandit
- Gets to stab innocent woodland creatures with ancient, mystical, ninja powers,but fails ultimately cause they can't beat the warriors above, its like comparing the jocks to the wannabees.
- Advances to guy who gets to blow shit up and STAB some more, suggesting the al queda are weeaboos too.
- Have incredible evasion at high levels, but still can't avoid the AIDS.
- If you're playing this class, may god help you....
Mage
MAGIC USERS.
Ice/Lightening Mage
- Starts off strong in the second job, shitty in the third, and even shittier in the fourth. Oh well, at least you can still annoy the hell out of everyone else with Blizzard.
- Advances to having a huge fucking ice attack that fucks the entire map up. These are the people that come into your map and kill everything in a single blow.
Fire/Poison Mage
- 10 year old pyromaniacs and gothic assholes.
- The shittiest of the three mage classes. Telling them this will cause them to simultaneously shit bricks and start a massive lulzfest of flames. It is also the most annoying mage class due to their ability to spread a large green cloud of gas and block everyone's vision in 3rd job. This inevitably leads to 13 year old boys asking "WHO FARTED?1!"
- Advances to Fire/Poison Arch mage with even crappier skills that nobody but you should experience.
Cleric
- One of the most useful classes in the game. Every party needs a healer. All clerics have to do is sit there and heal all the other players. 90% of clerics are cute azn gurls that are
probably40 year old hairy men in real life. - At their 3rd job advancement, they turn into Catholic Priests and use holy magicz from their Maple God.
- Has an ability that allows them to increase the experience gained in a party. This has caused many priests to stand in a safe spot (Nexon gave a big fuck you to these assholes by limiting the number of times you can spam a skill while hanging on a rope) and spam this move by holding down the button with a quarter or other weight. They can go afk like the lazy sluts they are while the rest of the party actually plays the game in order to level.
- Advances to
super magic priestthe Pope, proving that it was a 40 year old man that you were talking dirty to at the age of 13!!1!!111 - 40 year old hairy men choose this profession to flirt with other guys in Maple, especially while pretending to be a 16 year old azn chick.
Bowmen
NO ONE IS A BOWMAN. EVER.
Bowman
- Shittiest class in the game, excluding super-beginners, until level 120, not that they count anyways. People say that they are the best class when high level but by the time you get there you've lost all your friends,your family hates you and you're still living in your mom's basement at 40.
- Advances to nothing.
Crossbowman
- Slightly less shitty than bowman.
- Slow as fuck, and will never improve.
- Fags are often seen wishing they had picked a better job and begging for arrows. Poor maplefags.
As if four classes wasn't enough, Maple Story has added pirates to the mix! Many Americans feared they would not get pirates, because a previously added map that had monsters with guns had been censored (seriously, they gave one of them a squeaky hammer for a weapon). Eventually Nexon leaked we would be getting pirates causing a shitstorm of people to create pirate-only guilds and lvl 10 beginners that would be able to advance ASAP. Despite being assassins with guns, and bandits with fists, OVER 9000 people have made pirates already. This has caused all items for pirates to skyrocket in price, and newb pirates to suck dick for a split bullet. Oh yeah, the gay argument of pirates vs. thieves has taken over pretty much all of the discussions in Maple Story.
Gunslinger
- black person.
- Throws grenades.
- Flys?
- Advances to Outlaw, and afterward Corsair.
- Can summon octopi to spit ink and birds to drop bombs.
- Is able to take control of monsters, presumably for rape.
- Ultimate ability involves boarding a ship and firing your cannons.
- Some of the shittiest fucking damage until you get to Outlaw and Corsair. But who has the fucking patience?
Brawler
- Likes to punch things.
- Kills mobs by spamming a twinkly backflip kick
- Likes to uppercut shit.
- Can hide in a barrel.
- Elbows you in your face.
- Advances to Marauder, and afterward Buccaneer.
- Punches things EVEN HARDER.
- Can charge up energy for stronger attacks and transformations.
- Can attack using the power of a dragon.
- Ultimate ability involves transforming into what appears to be SSJ 3 GOKU!!1!!1!!
- Most moves are blatant rip-offs of Super Saiyan shit.
Knights of Cygnus
Also known as "KoCs", Cygnus Knights were released in a recent patch. As usual, everyone jumped on the bandwagon until you couldn't blink without seeing them FUCKING EVERYWHERE.
The formula Nexon used to create the KoCs was a simple, yet idiotically effective one: take all the regular jobs, rename a few skills. Move a few skills from 3rd to 2nd job. Make them look more Weeaboo friendly. If nothing Nexon did before was a huge middle finger in your face, then truly you're getting KoC-slapped in the face with this job. Not only do they out-damage their regular counterparts, but depending on the level of your "parent character" they can become even more powerful. However, this relationship is symbiotic; the stronger your KoC is, the more powerful the parent character becomes. Thus, everybody with a high level character absolutely scrambled to make one lest they be told that their damage sucks. You could get a:
- black person,
- or Thunder Breaker.
These characters once turned out to be a huge waste of time and money, as KoCs maxed out at level 120. This means that they were utterly worthless at any of the end-game bosses. The only benefit is that your main character is stronger a little bit and your e-peen is slightly larger. Recently, the lv120 cap was removed, but KoCs and all other characters are vastly outpwn'd by any new classes.
As known as "Aang" to most Maplers.
Just released in Maple S.E.A and soon to be now released on Global Maplestory, the Aryan race (u c what i did thar?) is a polearm user, who gets a mob attack at level 13 and pwns all of the previous jobs. The job begins with a flashback. You play through the flashback as a level 200 Aran with 50 HP and 5 MP. Once you come back you will wake up with a weird girl in front of your face. She begins stalking you. You go through the tutorial and you are an Aran. Arans PWN every other job with their massive dmg at low levels but you'll end up with carpal tunnel tunnel syndrome before you reach level 30 if you play one of these since you have to tap the attack button instead of holding it. One of the five Legendary Hero classes.
Evan
The only class that gives you a dragon to do your bidding. It's probably the shittiest class yet. Its attack speed is the slowest out of all the other magicians. But, if you do sit and wait over 9,000 minutes, you'll be presented with the worst damage out of all the other classes in the game as well. One of the five Legendary Hero classes.
A LIMITED EDITION class being tested by the gooks on the Korean server. A complete copy of the bandit class with flashier looking animations. Made entirely so Nexon can get more money since all the 4th Job skillbooks need to be bought in the cash shop.
Resistance Classes
The Resistance are the ultimate class consisting of three jobs located in some town in Nazi Germany. You start off as a Jew but are quickly recruited by the Resistance to help rid Germany of all the Nazis and prevent the resurrection of the Black Magician. (Only available in Korea right now).
Battle Mage
This job uses black magic and shit. Unusual as a mage class as they use STR as their primary stat. Nerfed HARD after a year of introduction to the point where it is one of the worst classes around. All that extra HP doesn't mean shit when you deal jack shit in damage.
Wild Hunter Furfag job. You ride a Jaguar the entire time while firing off arrows at your enemies. Fund them to deal overpowered game-breaking levels of damage endgame.
Mechanic Extremely overpowered job that rides a MOTHER FUCKING MECH. This job is all about doing the impossible and touching the untouchable. One of the first skills you get goddamn drill attack. Fuck. The best of the resistance classes because their instructor is Pedobear.
Legends Update
In an effort for Nexon to pocket more money like the jews they are, in 2012, they released 3 new classes that have the weeaboo meter hit the fucking ceiling. Fortunately for You, this little shits will get their cum-filled anuses nerfed.
Demon slayer A shitty reskin of the warrior class with daddy issues and sexually conflicted. Used by Emo Faggots because the flashy dark effects are just compensation for no penis. Provides up to 20% bonus damage for all characters once it hits lv210 making this character played not just by newfags and edgy weeaboo gits.
Canonneer As if the Mech didn't satisfy these greedy faggots enough, the jews at nexon introduced this shitpile of gunpowder and fail. It uses its hand cannon to fire shit at enemies. Overpowered as hell in the early levels, but useless like a box of blondes in the end. Comes with a flying chimp slave. At 5th job level, allows you to fire your lazars, calling in ICBM strikes, and summoning extremely giant bullets to trigger leftists.
Mercedes Still has the same kind of fail as bowmen but named after a car, except they use Fucking unicorns in their skills. Only You would play this class. She starts off with a boyfriend, but loses his D when her MLP obsession got out of hand. Tales have been told that people who played this class would remain a virgin, but you will always be a virgin so you don't have to worry. Grants a permanent 5~20% exp bonus to all your characters- the only reason anyone plays this class. Male characters of this class are infamous for looking almost exactly same as the cocksucker aryan girl variant.
Renegades
Since the Legends classes got out of style Nexon made two new classes even shittier than ever. And as always, the newfags bandwagon this shit like wildfire.
Jett
Re-skinned gunslinger while adding a dash of star trek faggotry. The skillset of this pile of fail was supposed to be planned to balance the already shitty pirate class, but Nexon trolled everyone by making a new class. It's basically the same fucking thing.
Phantom
The only lulz-worthy class to play with. Uses a fucking pimp-cane and cards to attack, but has the ability of stealing other people's skills, rendering parties useless. Starts weak in the first job, but the second job onward will prison rape you like mad. One of the 5 Legendary hero classes.
Tempest
People have been bitching about Phantom's assraping them in popular training spots, instead of solving the problem nexon released 3 new classes of pure faggotry.
Luminous
Yet ANOTHER rehash of the oh so popular magican class, with 2 diffrent eye colors and the option to go fuck yourself with a new weapon called "Rod" what more do you want?
Kaiser
What would you get if you could combine the Emoness of the Demon Slayer and Aang? Well I got the answer, Kaiser...the rehashed warrior class thats every furry's dream! He has wings and a tail and can transform into this dragon thingy....an electricbuggaloo indeed, furrys can fap to this guy as he has the "best of both worlds"
Angelic Burster
Yet again Nexon just proves how much of a faggot and weeaboo they are. They created a rehash of the gunslinger but not only that! The made this bitch have sailor moon powers and there's also this whole transforming montage, the fuck? Weeaboos of all ages will enjoy fapping to this bitch...the only thing she's missing now is Rule 34... Strike that, even that exists now.
Sengoku
Surprisingly this stupid ass game still exists and poor excuse of a company Nexon exists as well. Probably cause weeaboo faggots won't stop jerking off the angelic buster porn but whatever. And so the Japanese pedo masses begged and circle jerked on their lame excuse of a forums until Nexon finally unleashed from the depths of their asshole a horrible once Japanese Maplestory "exclusive" to the masses. (Ironic right?)
Kanna
A half assed class that has a loli running around and summoning trolls and fur fags to fight for her, she would've been a lulz worthy class but failed cause she's rule 34 material, and a fur-faggot.
Hayato
The final and most pathetic excuse of a class Nexon shat out into the public restroom at Ikea last Thursday. Its pretty much another gay love child of Demon Slayer and Aang that should've been aborted along with Kaiser.
Due to the overload of furfags and weeaboos from the previous classes, Nexon attempted to get the Emo and Star Trek losers back into their shitty ass game. But failed horribly as they just brought more furfags with the misleading title "Unleashed" where Sonic fags would think of their stupid ass game "Sonic Unleashed" and fap to the idea of it while giving more money to the gooks at Nexon. Nevertheless Nexon will continue to fail no matter how many electricbuggaloos they create.
Xenon The failed attempt of trying to reclaim the Star Trek fags into Nexon's shitty game. He has a bowl cut and uses a tazer whip used by Hitler, suggesting gook supremacy to the White man and jews, but they fail to realize how small they are. He rehashes the Pirate and Thief class, both at once! They sure aren't running out of ideas. /sarcasm
Demon Avenger The sexually conflicted Emo faggot that was suppose to rake in tons of dough for North Korea is back! And with more daddy issues than ever! This time, he uses HP to attack rather than his nonexistent penis. Meaning he cuts himself to hurt others, but fails miserably like every Emo faggot who thinks people give a fuck about their cuts.
Just when Nexon was going to an hero themselves with the amount of shitty content and fuck ups they decided to release one more update called RED the color of a woman's tampon. I am honestly not kidding that's the exact name the gooks gave their shitty update, a color!!!1!!2111! This of course...created even more classes since obviously over 9000 classes aren't enough for the gooks.
Zero Literally Jesus of the game, not kidding. The cocksuckers back at North Korea literally imported Jesus into the game. You have the option of switching between regular Jesus and Jesus with boobs which seems to be some kind of shitty fan fiction you can find on a 16 year old girls tumblr blog.
Beast Tamer Just when you though the last updates misleading title of "Unleashed" that drew in all of the sonic fur fags wasn't enough, you would be glad to know that there is an actual furry class that you can play as. And you thought Kaiser was ridiculous. She's another rehash of the Mage and can summon a Bear that fucks up a table, a nigga, a super kawaii desuuu cat and nicki minaj.
Eunwol/Shade The class that really doesn't exist and nobody actually gave a fuck about.
No really that's his story line.
After the gooks saw their profits go down by over 9 trillion percent they finally decided to stop being such a Jew ass company and created a new world called Reboot, where all the old maplers and people who hate Jews go to play. But before the server went up they made a lulzy attempt at trying to steal weeaboo money by making meso sacks that can be bought with their jew gold. The weeaboo's on the forum obviously cried like a spoiled 16 year old girl without her IPhone and Jewxon removed the ball sack. After that Nexon became a pretty cool guy. But quickly became a gook again by releasing another stupid ass class.
Kinesis Another stupid ass rehash of the mage since 500 rehashes of a class that dies in one hit clearly isn't enough. To appeal to the weeaboo's the gooks made a cliche bishounen but with superpowers!1!111111111! He can chuck a train with his mind or some shit, his main weapon is a gay ass bracelet that limits his powers which makes as much sense as fighting with a gun with its safety on.
Nexon
MapleStory happens to be run by some of the most Jew groups of Azns in the world. They'll say they're interested to know what users want, but rly, they're more concerned with gold-plating their cocksheaths and raping the shit out of your mommy's bank account. They'll release things for over $9000 one day, and then have it be free the next week. Because of this, people feel the need to whine, bitch, and moan about every little thing they find wrong with the recent version, even if there's nothing to bitch about.
Not to mention they ignore problem causers, such as hackers, while going for easy targets like anyone who has been reported through the in-game system for "harassment." One such example is the mass security breach of late 2009 on into 2010, which is being completely ignored while Nexon brags about banning 2974 script kiddies.
In addition, Nexon decided to divide the Global server up into about 17 different servers around the world and blocked access to the Global server from a shitload of foreign IPs. As a result, those who played Global not only lost their characters, they could no longer play with their butt-buddies in America. Clever. This group of foreign rejects reluctantly switched over to European MapleStory, or EMS, which is available for Eurofags in a variety of languages.
This leads to one of two possibilities: Either Nexon is a collection of lazy fuckwits, or they are the greatest accidental trolls ever conceived. After all, it takes something special to do what they have done.
UPDATE: Nexon made $517 million in 2009!
Acts of Desperation (faggotry)
Every once in a while, Nexon will decide that it's droves of weeaboo fags aren't enough, and will start trying to get back the original asspie basement dweller back in the game by offering them free stuff. despite the fact that some of the people who get these "COME BACK TO MAPLESTORY PLEASE FAG??" E-mails sell the codes, Nexon, using flashy and mutlicolored Korean rice nigger special effects manages to rope back in another 99.9% of them.
NX Cash
NX Cash, or Nexon Cash, is what you get when you spend IRL money on a free game. All spoiled, MapleStory-addicted children who are lucky enough to get ahold of their mommy's or daddy's credit cards/PayPal information, will blow hundreds of dollars per month on NX. This is used to buy worthless shit in MapleStory's Cash Shop system. The only purpose of these items is to make their character look super spechul, and disappear after 90 days so as to get you to spend more. One thousand NX is one U.S. dollar, meaning you are wasting five dollars just to change the color of your eyes, which are actually made up of 3 pixels. If it wasn't bad enough, your twelve dollar shit goes away within three months. Permanent NX items exist, which people sell on the marketplace for over 200 million mesos- which is the equivalent to 100k meso back in the old days.
Such items include:
- Pets that follow you around and annoy other users by letting out horrid emulations of animal noises when they are praised or punished.
- Super kawaii clothing!11
- Megaphones or Super Megaphones (called Smegas by most players) in which users can shout to the entire server that they fail at life, and/or "Found a new Web Site that lets you get free mesarz by merely entering your user ID, Password, and game pin!".
- More worthless shit.
- Wedding rings, for those who are impossibly lonely and need a steady partner for cybering.
- Expressions on how you feel IRL such as getting butthurt or how you "accidentally" shoved large objects up your ass.
- Shitty hairstyles. WTF IS WITH THE BALD PATCH?
- Gachapon tickets. Whenever you go to a machine, you will get a shit load of crappy items. People who try and get leet items usually phail, unless they spend OVER 9000 dollars.
- Guy Fawkes Mask. In anticipation for another Project Chanology raid, Nexon tried to find a way to make money off of it. LOLFAILED.
- Throwing shit! (no srsly its for assassins)
- A PEDOBEAR HAT?!
It's true. MapleStory features a Pedobear hat, and for only $2.60. If you are going to spend money on this game, this is possibly the only worthy item to buy. Not only is it endlessly entertaining to also purchase a net and chase little girls around, but, if you don't have a mask but see someone who does, it's also fairly lulzy to follow them and put your character into 'compromising' positions with said bear. The user who you're harassing probably doesn't know what Pedobear is, but they get annoyed quickly when you mention it and ask them if they'd be interested in attending your little brother's/sister's 3rd birthday party tomorrow and that you already know that they're 'nice and tight'. This is also fair evidence that Nexon is run by pedophiles. All they need now is Shotacat, amirite?
NX Whores
Like Gaia Online - there are many weeaboos that buy crack and teh meth that can't afford their own Neckson Kash! OH NOEZ!!! WHAT WILL I DO 4 SUM NX??? When even attempts at stealing mommy and daddy's credit card fails ... they turn to whoring themselves out for NX. Don't even think about getting a titty shot, since Rule 32 of the Internets is factual in stating that there are no girls online so any female wanting NX is actually a 13 yr old boy wanting some surprise buttsecks!
Common phrases in MapleStory
- CC PLZ - Please go to another channel because I want to kill those monsters. Usually used by Wapanese assholes, running on a fresh cup of tiger jizz. This excuse is frequently used so they can party with other users to gain moar xp.
- S>+1INT HMT60%/+3STR BW10%/SPCLW+2/5mil/fuku n1gg3rs/@@@@@@ - Pardon me sir, would you be interested in some of this worthless bullshit inventory that I need to get rid of? This phrase can be recognized as "S>" followed by any form of indecipherable AOL speak.
- 1K PLZ - Can you spare me a thousand of your mesos please?
- OMG U HAXX0R!!!!1 - Someone talking about a hacker?
- FAME PLZ - Can you add a point of fame to my character please?
- DONT KS B!TCH - Please don't killsteal. (The ! takes the place of the I in bitch because of Maple Story's shitty censors)
- Looking for GF/BF with NX whisp/chat me!!! Usually spammed by basement dwellers on a super megaphone because they lack the ability to find a partner of the opposite sex irl.
- JPQ!!!!@@@@#@##### - I am gathering members of comparable standing to engage in a MapleStory party quest.
- SPAM T1GERC0CK469 LV125 LEGIT 6JOB GRATZ$OMGLUL - Please assrape my lifeless stalker-friend for playing this terrible game 107 hours straight.
- KSSSSS WOAAAAAR !)0!!!1101!- Used by delusional retards like Curly. Must be screamed while stuffing potato chips into one's fat pothole.
- LEGOLAS2093 IS B> (commodity item) FOR 0.029384023894 each!!!!113!- Used with wanted commodities to troll other players for much LULZ
- IM SO PRO - Used for lifeless basement dwellers who think they're better than everybody.
- @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ - People use this because of nexon's "NO SPAMM LOLOLOL" system so they can spam for party quests and shit.Example:
- J>PQ LVL 10 MAGE@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!! (Another 2 times)
- J>PQ LVL 10 MAGE@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!! (ANOTHER 2 TIMES)
- J>PQ LVL 10 MAGE@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!! (ANOOTHER 2 TIMES)
- FUK U GAIZ AM PROA SO AM LIVIN'! (Congratulations, you win)
- Vac hacking - Archaic term that is no longer in use due to some action taken by the fucking GMs ... for once.
- Fucking KSing Sin - Generalization that all Assassins kill-steal ... because they fucking do.
- lul ur dmg is low nub - Some fucker with no life has just fucking called you out for having a life. Well, sort of having a life, since you still play the fucking game.
- STOP LOOTING OUR DROPS - Usually used during PQs in which an important item (read: imaginary piece of shit) is stolen by a noob.
Language Filter
No shitty game would be complete without its own curse filter. Sure, replacing one or two letters with numbers might be a minor annoyance, but cursing on the interwebs is serious fucking business, and the GM's on MapleStory realized that. Thanks to their filter, they can now rob you of your right to free speech, and while you're trying to figure out why the filter cock blocked you, you get raepd by some shit monster. Don't blame the GM's though, Koreans aren't used to the concept of free speech. A list of some of the most offensive words and phrases have been blocked from the game:
- Gay
- Bitch
- Circumstance
- Ball
- Spice
- Blow (Ironic, because half of the skillz include the word)
- Grape
- Whisper me
- butt
- ass - Any word with 'ass' in it, such as Class, Bass, Glass, Brass, etc
- Japan
- Hitler (What was WW2, anyway?)
- C8
- Pedobear
- black person
- Fish Tank
- Pigs
- Any given word at any given time
Oddly enough, the system doesn't censor a large number of emoticons, so you can spam wreathed phalluses at your leisure.
The best way to win back your right to free speech is to use Notepad, but this only results in banhammer, and much lulz amongst the millions of chinks and weeaboos when they announce NOTICE: b4s3mNtDWLR has been banned for cursing.
How to Troll Maple Story
First of all, if you seriously need help trolling in this game, go die in a fire. It should go without saying that this is one of the easiest games to troll on the Internet. That said:
- Hack and KS n00bs in the beginner areas with a high level character.
- Repeatedly tell them that they have AIDS.
- Disconnect a famous player with a D/C hack program.
- Claim a popular area and spam "CC PLZ" to everyone.
- Whisper to the people in wedding announcements and tell them that their future e-spouse is ugly, and or, has cheated on them with another e-lover. (Give them the name of a random person you have passed by for added lulz)
- Play a drop game (A game in which you and other players drop rare items to show off to each other) and use a "vac hack" (A hack in which all items on screen will come to you for grabbing instantly) to grab the items. You then proceed to log off, keeping the hard earned items forever. This leaves the other players cutting themselves in sadness and anger.
- Often players will drop rare items by themselves so they can show off and be faggots. While they are doing this, snatch their crap, and when they ask,"GIVE BACK!", tell them they are stupid faggots and deserve to get their items snatched.
- Go into the wedding area, Amoria, and spam "LOOKING FOR PQ@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@" repeatedly.
- Go into the Free Market, and spam "B> Fame 1mill fame then trade me@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@". Then, go into Menu > Game Options and turn off trade requests. Continue spamming. Butthurt noobs will stand on you and claim that you scam. When that happens, change channels and continue spamming.
- Spam trade/party invites as much as possible.
- Make fun of asians, this will result in the thousand nations of the asian empire descending upon you, Srsly.
- Spam on megaphones (or anywhere near a crowd of people, word spreads quickly amongst the maplers) how much you dislike anime, preferably Naruto or any anime on adult swim.
- Call someone a n00b despite the fact you might be 20-30 levels lower than that person. Also, calling someone with a srsly high level a hacker generally leads to their guild threatening to kill you irl. Bonus points for doing it on a shitty fan-forum.
- Repeatedly ask "MESAR PL0X?!?!" to anyone that walks by, and don't stop until that person logs off.
- B>(buy) all the shit you can see and destroy it all, inflating the e-conomy.
- Go to a MapleStory forum and make a new thread entitled "______ should be NX-only!", with the blank being something like "New Maps", "Level 70 Weapons", or "Zakum Helms". It works every time.
- Also, class discussion threads work very well for trolling as well. Any thread on a MapleStory forum comparing two classes to each other will instantly yield a 10 page long thread in less than a hour.
- Convince your guild-mates to stalk and ks a high level player.
- Always threaten ks-war on every map--even if you're just walking through.
- Always defame every high level character you see. Be sure to immediately log off to prevent retaliatory defames.
- Have players apologize for you killing their monster.
- Players get extremely derailed if you megaphone something bad about them, which usually makes them spend more of
their owntheir parent's money to refute the message. - Join an Eos Tower party quest, secretly loot some of the passes and blend in like a dumbfuck while watching the leader yell at everybody for them.
- Join a long party quest and at the final stage claim you're holding everybody "hostage" and threaten to leave the party if they don't fork over 50k. (Leaving will cause everybody to be kicked resulting in a bunch of rage fagz and lulz).
- If a player tells you to 'cc plz,' continue to follow/ks until they give you mesos.
- Take off all your gear and beg for mesos/gear/potions--proceed to play like this until someone generous comes along.
- Make up sentences which includes Nexon, Wizet, GM's etc. For example, azn chinks eats dogs! Niggers stinks of shit, you cant tell the difference!
- Diss every popular anime you can think of, especially Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, and Sword Art Online. Most maplers are oversensitive entry-level weeaboos.
- ????
- PROFIT!
One of the gloriously undocumented features in this game long ago was the random appearance of items with names like black person, Different Sack, and Monster Sack. As it turns out, their only purpose is to spontaneously spawn a certain type and number of deadly creatures wherever the sack master is standing. You could dress up your character to look like the other n00bs, stand in a crowd of 20 people, and unleash monsters on them while they are AFK or trying to heal. Either that, or use it on one AFK pro, and when he comes back, get your popcorn ready for the butthurt. Sadly, these items along with most of the OG maple data was removed from the game long, long ago.
A regular mapler
What Maplers boner to
A lot of research shows that maplers are immature freaks that boner over pixels and lost audio(look at the comments). And they somehow find this funny.
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MapleStory 2: Electric Boogaloo?
Yes, some companies out there actually think ripping off MapleStory is actually a profitable move for their business. All of the players of these games will consistently tell you that their game is nothing like MS so don't go comparing it to Maple on their forums. For full coverage, see the list of MapleStory Clones here.
Private Servers
Most people are too lazy to grind on Slimes for 40 hours, so script kiddies go out of their way to make a special server. These servers usually contain:
- Overly high rates. Kill a Silver slime for instant level 200.
- GMship. Kill every Fag for no reason at all.
- UFJ. Fly around a map because apparently, to Private Server players, that's fun.
- Stable server. Disconnect every 5 minutes.
- Custom .wz files. So the perverted server owners can shoop tits and dicks onto everything. Then make you redownload the entire game before you can play.
- Lag.
Nexon Still Doesn't have enough moneys
No need to get mad about your money Nexon, as soon as Maplefags realize they are out of money, you Jews will phail at these shitty companies. Maybe the worst game ever. Idiots never seem to run out of money.
Since 90% of Maplefags realized Nexon were just raping them in the ass for their parents moneys most switched to private servers. Nexon decided they didn't have enough moneys from weeaboos who buy the ugliest fake clothes on the face of the planet every single fucking day so Nexon sued this guy who was just really bored one day.
He now owes Nexon 2.1bil mesos for making a free and less crappy version of MapleStory.[1] Sucks for him.
HOLY SHIT, NEWS: Jew gets arrested for hacking the server files. They took immediate action.
How Nexon Deals with Private Servers
Lloyd KoЯn
Lloyd Korn (also known as Lord Korn) is Nexon's legal advisor for the company. On a regular day at work he goes straight to his office, locks the door and faps to maple-hentai. One day one of Nexon's higher ups caught him in the act and threatened to fire his ass if he didn't get to work. He was then assigned to take care of the game's private server problem. After taking out all the big time servers Ne卍on still wouldn't pay the faggot so now he patrols maplefag forums and sues 13-year-old boys who make servers to pretend they're important. He's responsible for shutting down at least 100 MapleStory private servers since last thursday
Jamie J. Fitzgerald
Lloyd Korn's waifu. Another one of Nexon's legal pigs. Dox can be found here.
Donald Trump
Gayplestory's world is often directly influenced by the IRL, featuring stylized variants of places like Singapore and Japan. Similarly, they feature characters that often directly replicate real people. One of the characters was "Donald", who replaced the original package deliverer. Donald was obviously a homage to Donald Trump, a douchebag real estate mogul who managed to become the president of the United States, polarizing and dividing the world in the process. Maplestory bitched out and removed the character from their game around the 2016 Elections. They did this to avoid liberal whores thinking they side with Trump and potentially neglecting the greedy gooks of thousands of little kids' parents shekels.
Back in 2012 around the 2012 Election, MapleStory featured an in-game election pitting Obongo against Mitt Romney. You could gain a gay little balloon with the symbol of each party on them. Obviously this caused the 20% of the community that weren't liberal fags to initiate a civil war in game, causing the autism of thousands of little azn nerds.
Maple Memes
Probably the only real entertaining part of the game is playing "Spot The Meme". The crazy Koreans who make the game pretty well don't give one rats ass about copyrights and as such run around ripping off EVERYTHING imaginable and using it in the game as a means of compensating for their incredible lack of good story telling. You literally cannot move in this game without tripping over some randomly integrated bit of mainstream and non-mainstream media. From memes to media references this game gropes the grundies of popular culture whilst poppin a chubby in the cherry of any chaste media property they can legally pork under the pretense of performing a pathetic parody.
Galleries
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Christmas 2016. 14/88! -
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Along comes A RAPE SPIDER! -
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Every shade of sexual deviancy can be found in this sordid game. -
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You can only use the bathroom once a day. -
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The only game that lets you club baby seals! -
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WHAT IN THE SERIOUS FUCK IS THAT?! -
Ion Dildozer -
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How to buy friends. -
Rule Number One:
Nexon lies. -
Maplestory is srs gawd damn business! -
Oh shi- look out, we got a bad ass over here!
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How to make mesos -
Maple girls LOVE anal sex! -
Making ends meet. -
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The Evan class. -
Maplestory 2 gameplay -
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Trolling the average MapleStory Player is easy. -
Blocking jump quests. -
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Pooping on players. -
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Thar be a shit storm a brewin! -
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Getting ready to "unload".
External Links
- Main site. Download at your own risk.
MapleStory commercial, which actually has more to do about pedophilia than MapleStory.- Maplefag forum/action site. It shall be noted that even lame trolling attempts here are successful.
- Faggy Forum full of pretentious faggots that take the game and themselves way too seriously, so trolling isn't very hard at all. Touchy Subject + The Burning Zone + Controversial POV = Successful troll every time.
Horrible Eurofag forum full of faggots pretending to be cool IRL(EarthShaker) or pretending to be trolls(M33rkat)Official forum for eurofags.It's fun to troll them until someone cries and sues you
Cheat Codes
Why spend 200 hours slowly grinding to make 100 million mesos, when you can shell out 10 bucks to get 5 billion? Note: Using these sites may get you b&, or you might be targeted to be hacked. You will also need to put up with creepy gooks from Korea who speak with broken english and will always take too fucking long to get the cash to you.
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MapleStory is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |