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The Chernobyl Disaster: Difference between revisions

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{{Cleaning}}
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It's April 26th 1986; on a nothing short of a beautiful Slavic day full of ham, votka, votka ham, ham votka, ham ham, votka votka, mass starvation, poverty, child rape and cockroach consumption and cockroach rape consumption as is standard for our Eden - life is good.
{{Spoilers|CIA exploded the recator 4 on a special operation}}
Its Friday 26th April 1986, on the old country of [[Commies|USSR]]. All people where sleeping (except from westerns) and on the nuclear plant of Chernobyl ([[Lenin|Vladímir Ilích Uliánov]]), explodes.  People on the town of [[Cancer|Pripyat]] where evacuated and the plant closed before [[Over 9000|600.000]] firefighters tried to extinguish the uranium fire. 31 firefighters died and burned of radiation exposure and the others where claimed as [[False|Soviet Heros]].
==Events==
[[File:Cheronbylheros.png|thumb|left|The heros also called as the [[An hero|suicidal]] squad]]
At midnight, day workers where replaced by night workers, some unexperienced monkeys trying to operate the reactor 4, where the boom exploded. After failing to cool the reactor, an alarm was activated, and the workers thought it was a drill (big [[win|mistake]]). Seconds after the [[Soviet]] monkeys realized this, some experienced and based workers prevented an explosion like the [[Hiroshima]] bomb by simply handling a direction key. The monkeys managed to escape and the 2 based heroes left but the explosion raped them and they ended up dying. Also his feet where under radioactive water. Some guys who where fishing near the reactor, got his ears bleeding because of the sound and the radiation and [[zerg rush|zerg rushed]] from the radioactive debris. Just seconds from the '''KABOOM''', a massive cloud of uranium smoke extended into the startosphere, shitting up the environment like a kick in the balls. [[Maths|A third]] of the population of Pripyat woke up from the sound of the explosion and quickly called all kinds of emergencies. The firefighters came with all their station, same with the [[ambulance|ambulances]] and the [[police|pigs]] who ran like bitches to help the people. The firefighters began to extinguish the fire, several helicopters also contributed to it (one of them was so stupid that it [[Kobe Bryant|crashed into a fucking crane and exploded]]), and even the fucking army came to help. The next day, the evacuation plan began, leaving almost the entire population of Pripyat and Chernobyl town outside the contaminated area, being sent to other countries or to Kyiv (the capital of Ukraine). Other people, such as elderly women, who didn't want to lose their land, stayed there until their death from radiation. And in just 1 month, the Chernobyl thing was forgotten until they notice it.


You're Ivan; a reactor engineer employed as one of the best at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in [[Stalker|Pripyat]], [[Ukraine]], USSR, and you just arrived at your office. As you greet your many coworkers, namely
Retarded Rat and Krokodil Hooker; valiant professional collegues employed alongside you, and find yourself taking a seat on your comfy chair/burnt dog hair box and prepare to recalibrate reactor core ectoplasm existential over-execution computer overdrive superiority bobnvegene engine, a task assigned by none else but Stalin himself who rose from the grave to greet a young man working hard for glory of Us-SSR and Heroin Husk Hutt High-School, property of Pizdov LTD. (member, [[Communism|komunyizm]])


Do not forget or '''YOU GO TO GULAG.'''
==Aftermath==
[[File:ChernobylAfter.jpg|thumb|right|The nuclear reactor after the big cum]]
Between May and November of 1986, a sacrophagus was created to prevent radiation. In 1991, after the fall of the Soviet Union, Ukraine became independent, and took more drastic measures on the matter. A few years later, when the radiation gradually disappeared, in 2010, tourists from all over the world learned that Ukraine declared Chernobyl as visitable and they went to visit the place, but with more adequate protection for them.
[[File:ChernobylAppleMuncher.jpg|thumb|left|Hey guyz, im going to do the Chernobyl Apple Challenge]]
Also, around 2014, a woman named {{yt|@|Bionerd23|Bionerd23}} ([[Powerword|Illy Sommer]]) documented how she ate a fucking Chernobyl apple, which <s> caused her death</s>. '''FAKE''', she is alive but didnt upload more Chernobyl vidyia because she got [[banned]] from [[Epic fail|the entire Ukraine]]. On 2016, a new sacrophagus is placed, but this one is bigger and it can be [[OceanGate|controlled]].
On 2020, with the [[Coronavirus|COVID-19]] and his quarentine, a forestal fire began, making the radiation 16 times bigger.


All three of Ivan's advanced Slavic nose hole sinus anuses '''BLYAT''' on face begin to notice a rather peculiar smell. "Holy shit on rat penis bones!" states Ivan, recoiling at the realization that colorful child dog has overcooked in reactor oven, leaving him short of a meal for this month. And worse of yet, he wasted a good bottle of [[Piss|T34 Soviet field tank fuel]] on glazing burnt imbred puppy balls that he never get to consume. "Crikey, mate." ads Stalin who has yet again come to the Mortal Realm this time to announce the his short return as Jesus 2 in North Korea next month. "Wat I do. Facking frog shits." Ivan thinks to himself. Coming to terms that succulent canine testes will not get to glide against the moist chasm of Ivan's face vajayna and arrive in Ivan's acyidyick štomack to provide him with necessary '''NUT'''rient, he calmly sighed and accepted defeat against the tides of fate 𝐁𝐋𝐘𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐘𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀


==Famous Places==
This is a small list of some famous places on chernobyl.
===Elephant Foot===
The Elephant Foot, is a small mass of a huge amount of radiaction, its famous because is the most lethal inert thing of all the world. [[True|It's not the most lethal thing, because a headshot kills you faster than this piece of shit with concrete and depleted uranium.]]
[[File:ElephantFoot.jpg|thumb|left|Come closer and you will get free admin on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]]]]
===The Hospital and his basement===
On the hospital, the most radioactive thing is the basement, a place where the firefighter's clothes where droped there, including coats, boots, old lady's shoes... <s>You can visit the basement</s>, '''Update''': The basement was filled up with sand and concrete. If you want to get into that radioactive hell, use a shovel and dig that pile of shit.
Also, another radioactive thing you can see there, a contaminated piece of cloth that is surprisingly at the entrance to the hospital. Also on the stairs of the place, you can see [[Cum jar|a jar with a somewhat strange liquid]] that contains an abandoned fetus (it has probably already died from so much radiation).
===A crane===
On the middle of nothing in Pripyat, there is a crane used on the cleaning tasks. The radiation levels where high as fuck, and the place is [[boring]].
===The Kindegarten===
On Chernobyl's forest, there is a small Kindergarten, filled up with toys and other things abandoned by people who evacuated. One of the toys, has a gas mask, used by the firefighters during his extinguish labor.
==Gallery==
<center>
<Gallery>
File:ChernobylFire.jpg|A fire map of the Chernobyl 2020 wildfires
</Gallery>
</center>
==See also==
==See also==
*[[Fukushima 2012]]
*[[Fukushima 2012]]
{{BNA}}
*[[USSR]]
*[[Ukraine]]
*[[Cold War]]
 
{{Science}}
{{Science}}
{{Lulzhistory}}
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Rusfags]]

Revision as of 20:33, 19 November 2023

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Its Friday 26th April 1986, on the old country of USSR. All people where sleeping (except from westerns) and on the nuclear plant of Chernobyl (Vladímir Ilích Uliánov), explodes. People on the town of Pripyat where evacuated and the plant closed before 600.000 firefighters tried to extinguish the uranium fire. 31 firefighters died and burned of radiation exposure and the others where claimed as Soviet Heros.

Events

The heros also called as the suicidal squad

At midnight, day workers where replaced by night workers, some unexperienced monkeys trying to operate the reactor 4, where the boom exploded. After failing to cool the reactor, an alarm was activated, and the workers thought it was a drill (big mistake). Seconds after the Soviet monkeys realized this, some experienced and based workers prevented an explosion like the Hiroshima bomb by simply handling a direction key. The monkeys managed to escape and the 2 based heroes left but the explosion raped them and they ended up dying. Also his feet where under radioactive water. Some guys who where fishing near the reactor, got his ears bleeding because of the sound and the radiation and zerg rushed from the radioactive debris. Just seconds from the KABOOM, a massive cloud of uranium smoke extended into the startosphere, shitting up the environment like a kick in the balls. A third of the population of Pripyat woke up from the sound of the explosion and quickly called all kinds of emergencies. The firefighters came with all their station, same with the ambulances and the pigs who ran like bitches to help the people. The firefighters began to extinguish the fire, several helicopters also contributed to it (one of them was so stupid that it crashed into a fucking crane and exploded), and even the fucking army came to help. The next day, the evacuation plan began, leaving almost the entire population of Pripyat and Chernobyl town outside the contaminated area, being sent to other countries or to Kyiv (the capital of Ukraine). Other people, such as elderly women, who didn't want to lose their land, stayed there until their death from radiation. And in just 1 month, the Chernobyl thing was forgotten until they notice it.


Aftermath

The nuclear reactor after the big cum

Between May and November of 1986, a sacrophagus was created to prevent radiation. In 1991, after the fall of the Soviet Union, Ukraine became independent, and took more drastic measures on the matter. A few years later, when the radiation gradually disappeared, in 2010, tourists from all over the world learned that Ukraine declared Chernobyl as visitable and they went to visit the place, but with more adequate protection for them.

Hey guyz, im going to do the Chernobyl Apple Challenge

Also, around 2014, a woman named Bionerd23 (Illy Sommer) documented how she ate a fucking Chernobyl apple, which caused her death. FAKE, she is alive but didnt upload more Chernobyl vidyia because she got banned from the entire Ukraine. On 2016, a new sacrophagus is placed, but this one is bigger and it can be controlled. On 2020, with the COVID-19 and his quarentine, a forestal fire began, making the radiation 16 times bigger.


Famous Places

This is a small list of some famous places on chernobyl.

Elephant Foot

The Elephant Foot, is a small mass of a huge amount of radiaction, its famous because is the most lethal inert thing of all the world. It's not the most lethal thing, because a headshot kills you faster than this piece of shit with concrete and depleted uranium.

Come closer and you will get free admin on ED

The Hospital and his basement

On the hospital, the most radioactive thing is the basement, a place where the firefighter's clothes where droped there, including coats, boots, old lady's shoes... You can visit the basement, Update: The basement was filled up with sand and concrete. If you want to get into that radioactive hell, use a shovel and dig that pile of shit. Also, another radioactive thing you can see there, a contaminated piece of cloth that is surprisingly at the entrance to the hospital. Also on the stairs of the place, you can see a jar with a somewhat strange liquid that contains an abandoned fetus (it has probably already died from so much radiation).

A crane

On the middle of nothing in Pripyat, there is a crane used on the cleaning tasks. The radiation levels where high as fuck, and the place is boring.

The Kindegarten

On Chernobyl's forest, there is a small Kindergarten, filled up with toys and other things abandoned by people who evacuated. One of the toys, has a gas mask, used by the firefighters during his extinguish labor.

Gallery

See also

The Chernobyl Disaster is part of a series on

SCIENCE!

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The Chernobyl Disaster

is part of a series on

The History of The Lulz

[Shut UpSing Me The Song Of My People]