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Dinosaur: Difference between revisions
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* Dinosaurs existed for thousands, not millions of years. | * Dinosaurs existed for thousands, not millions of years. | ||
* The word " | * The word "dragon" in the Bible actually means "dinosaur", which means dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time. | ||
* Dinosaurs did not exist. Ever. They are [[Richard Dawkins|hoaxes made up | * Dinosaurs did not exist. Ever. They are [[Richard Dawkins|hoaxes made up by evil scientists who want to destroy religion]]. | ||
* Others think that dinosaur fossils are actually the bones of [[dragon|dragons]], re-arranged by [[Satan]] and his [[atheist|minions]] to make Christians doubt the [[Bible]]. | * Others think that dinosaur fossils are actually the bones of [[dragon|dragons]], re-arranged by [[Satan]] and his [[atheist|minions]] to make Christians doubt the [[Bible]]. | ||
* Dinosaur bones were put by [[God]] just for the [[lulz]]. | * Dinosaur bones were put by [[God]] just for the [[lulz]]. |
Revision as of 19:34, 16 July 2012
<video type="youtube" id="VMzfrod7hcE&autoplay=1&start=0" width="500" frame="true" position="center"/>
Dinosaurs were big fucking lizard-things that ruled the earth sixty five million years before the Internet that would eat the fuck out of you if you looked at them funny.
There were loads and loads of dinosaurs, but the most famous ones are as follows:
- Tyrannosaurus Rex - sometimes just known as T. Rex, 'cause shit's more gangsta. The meanest fucking thing that ever lived, T. Rex was made of win and "Fuck you". He had enormous jaws that could swallow you whole in one bite if you dared laugh at his fucked up little arms that he used to play piano. Some people claim that two no-name wannabe dinosaurs, Spinosaurus and Giganotosaurus could beat T. Rex in a fight, but those people are misinformed.
- Triceratops - That awesome spiky dinosaur that looked a bit like a rhino on steroids, Triceratops was a vegetarian, but it sure as shit wasn't some pussy. Triceratops was built like a tank and fucked shit up on a regular and consistant basis, even taking on T. Rex and winning. Recently, another loser dinosaur trying to score some points on the paleontology circuit, Torosaurus, tried to move in and steal Triceratops' thunder. Triceratops pwned that bitch so bad that Torosaurus doesn't even fucking exist any more.
- Velociraptor - Stephen Spielberg gave these guys a two hour and a half long blowjob when he made the movie Jurassic Park, making it out that they were super-smart and fast and deadly and could eat Samuel L. Jackson and learn how to open doors and stalk children through deserted restaurant kitchens and shit. IRL, however, they were about the size of a chicken and were covered in soft, fluffy feathers like a bunch of faggots. Scientists argue that this is good evidence that velociraptors were nature's first design for what would later evolve into the Internet tough guy.
- Stegosaurus - A cheap, Chinese knock-off version of Triceratops, but no where near as cool. Notable for having two brains, a little one in its head and a larger one in its ass.
- Parasaurolophus - Parasaurolophuses are sometimes called 'duckbills' because of the stupid shape of their mouths. They are semi-aquatic dinosaurs known for the large horns on the backs of their heads as well as their happy-go-lucky demeanours and cheery cry of "Yep, yep, yep!" Tragically, baby parasaurolophuses are often murdered by their abusive fathers.
- Pachycepalosaurus - This dinosaur used its ten inch thick skull to charge and hit its enemies weak points for massive damage.
- Brachiosaurus - One of those gay ones with the long neck, brachiosaurus was one of the tallest dinosaurs ever to walk the earth. They're not terribly interesting, because all they did was eat leaves and fart and never really got into fights or anything cool like that.
- Dracorex Hogwartsia - This unfortunate dinosaur was discovered by some paleontologists who were also Harry Potter fantards who couldn't keep their obsession with shitty children's literature out of their professional work. Its name means "dragon king of Hogwarts" in Latin, which is fucking ghey.
- Pterodactyl - Pterodactyl wasn't actually a real dinosaur, just some dinosaur groupie flying lizard, but it gets lumped in with them in the toy aisle nonetheless, where it cries itself to sleep at night.
- Ankylosaurus - This heavily armoured, scaly lizard was no pansy-ass bearded dragon! He was so heavily armoured and well-protected that even his eye-lids were armoured! Not even a T. Rex could bite through its bullet-proof armour! And even though this dinosaur had a walnut-sized brain for its elephant-sized body, not even T. Rex would want to fuck with it especially that huge-ass club at the end of its tail which could snap a T. Rex's bones like match-sticks! Too bad if this dinosaur gets flipped over, its unprotected underbelly gets exposed! Being unable to flip itself back up by itself, Ankylosaurus becomes easy prey for even weak-sauce like Velicoraptors!
As we see, dinosaurs have a lot more Internet relevance than it would first seem, as they are involved with the two largest bases of fucktards on the Internet - creationists and furries. Also occasionally known as "Drama-saurs", any mention of dinosaurs, accurate or inaccurate, will cause a shitstorm of drama by people who spend far too much time on the internet.
Dinosaurs are the official best thing ever. This is mainly because of the fact that they were fucking awesome and way cooler than Cawadoody or any of that other gay shit you're interested in.
Unpopular Science
Mentioning dinosaurs is a sure-fire way to get a rise from any creationist who will claim either:
- Dinosaurs existed for thousands, not millions of years.
- The word "dragon" in the Bible actually means "dinosaur", which means dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time.
- Dinosaurs did not exist. Ever. They are hoaxes made up by evil scientists who want to destroy religion.
- Others think that dinosaur fossils are actually the bones of dragons, re-arranged by Satan and his minions to make Christians doubt the Bible.
- Dinosaur bones were put by God just for the lulz.
It should be noted however that not all faith-heads automatically reject the idea of dinosaurs, as is the case of Raptor Jesus, who is worshiped by millions.
Evolution
Most dinosaurs became either reptiles(no retard) or birds. This is what most people think. As it turns out, dinosaurs are even more distantly related from humans than previously thought.
Before they evolved into apes, niggers were originally dinosaurs. Specialized bones - noticeably the enormous lips - were found in Africa. Scientists refer to it as a giant lawnmower. Its diet is unknown, although judging by it's descendants it's an easy guess.
The idea that humans are directly descended from dinosaurs should not be confused with Reptoids, which are lizards which came from outer space and take on the form of humans in order to take over the world. Strangely, the humans they chose to resemble are usually white people, not niggers.
How the Dinosaurs Became Extinct
Most scientists believe It was once widely believed that a giant meteorite caused the extinction of the dinosaurs, blocking out the sun, causing the next ice age, and ultimately killing all the cold-blooded animals, but anyone that still believes this is a fucktard.
Others believe it was an ancient form of global warming. Some think it was God.
How the dinosaurs became extinct has been debated by scientists for years. Few other people care.
Scalies
Scalies are furries who have fursonas of reptiles instead of cute fuzzy animals. As is typical of the sort of people who would feel that they needed a seperate name for their own unique subsection of retarded anthropomorphic animal pr0n, they are fiercely defensive of their name, as they have scales, not fur. Such insignificant, Aspergian details should not be noted, as they are all still scumbags and no closer to Raptor Jesus than other furries.
Favorite sexual deviancy among scalies include egg-shitting in a permanent orgasmic state akin to shit art and wrapping their forked tongues around throbbing lizard cock. Many lizards and reptiles however do not have cocks but a single hole known as a cloaca - where shit, urine and cum all squirt out, which probably enhances the flavor.
Most scalies are either dinosaurs or dragons. The dinosaur of choice is always a raptor. Not a Stegosaurus with a brain the size of a walnut or a hideous egg-eater. It's always a raptor. This serves only as further blasphemy. The reason behind always choosing a raptor is that scalies also have a pawfur, vore, and guro fetish and enjoy ripping their partners apart with their feet and eating them.
Actually, since birds are said to be the dinosaurs' closest living relatives, the dino-furries should be classified amongst ANOTHER subgroup: the "Avians".
Spinosaurus & Giganotosaurus
One of the lesser known internet relevances dinosaurs have. Two of the most infamous dinosaurs of OUR time. They have been known to cause massive amounts of bawwing and drama. How is this possible? With the powers of JurASSic Park and Dino Crisis 2. Most of this drama can actually turn into fucking flamewars. Most of the drama happens on Youtube.
Trust me, go onto any video about Jurassic Park or Dino Crisis 2, you'll find someone bitching.
Why are all the fags whining?
Apparently, all of this is genereated from the fact that Spinosaurus/Giganotosaurus can kill T. Rex in a fight.
Of course, most of these intellectual people don't realize they're a bunch of retards.
Here are some facts help you be moar smart:
- Spinosaurus, though bigger than T. Rex, was primarily a fish eater. Its teeth and narrow jaws were for spearing fast-moving fish - useless for fighting an animal of T. Rex's size.
- T. Rex had teeth the size of bananas.
- T. Rex was better than you.
So, if you see anyone say "spino culd pwn T _Rex asS", they're most likely a a newfag, and you should begin the obvious.
Philosoraptor
Central tenet
Philosoraptor's Theory of Dinosaurs asserts that non-material abstract (but substantial) forms (or ideas) (Creationism), and not the material world of change known to us through Scientology, possess the highest and most fundamental kind of reality. Or in layman's terms - did dinosaurs eat Baby Jesus?
Not central tenet
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
We Covet a Thoughtful Dinosaur[1]
Dinosaur controversies[2]
- Did Dinosaurs Have Arthritis?
- What "Warm-Blooded" Really Means?
- Brontosaurus vs. Apatosaurus
- Cats vs. Dinosaurs
Dinosexx0r
Dinosaur pornography is remarkably popular on the internet, but what isn't?
External Links
- Russian Philosoraptor - nobody cares, but Philosoraptor is a symbol of dinopedia
- The Creation Evidence Museum's FAQ telling us that dinosaurs are, in fact, in the Bible.
- Strange procreation habits of the dinosaurs
- Wrong DinoSaur
- JURASSIC NIGGAS
See Also
- Raptor Jesus
- Reptoids
- Furries
- Creationists
- Evolution
- Bible
- Christians
- Rule 34
- co - Although the board is for comics and cartoons, dinosaurs tend to go down very well with /co/mrades, regardless.
Featured article October 3, 2005 | ||
Preceded by Tinkebell |
Dinosaur | Succeeded by Lincoln Continental |
Dinosaur is part of a series on Bad things that happen to animals |
Basic Concepts [+] Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy
Badgers • Bats • Bears • Bees • Birds • Bunnies • California Pet Laws 1/1/19 • Cats • Chickens • Chihuahuas • Cows • Crabs • Crows • Dinosaurs • Dogs • Ducks • Eagles • Fish • Foxes • Frogs • Giant Isopods • Octopuses • Pandas • Parakeets • Parrots • Penguins • Pigs • Rats • Sharks • Sheep • Snakes • Spiders • Turtles • Walruse • Wolves |
---|---|
Victims [+] Adrian Pomorski • Arrow Cats • Bincat • Bonsai Kitten • Chase 'No Face' • Chevy the Therapy Dog • Harambe • Internet Mascot Heaven • Japanese Bug Fights • Koda The Dog • Monkids • "Mudkips" the cat • Mutant Cats • NEDM • Omarosa • Orvillecopter • Painted Cats • Pebbles the Emotional-Support Hamster • Scared Monkey • Sombra The Drug Sniffing Dog • Staredog • Subservient Chicken • Zippocat | |
Opposing Concepts and Causes [+] | |
BestiLOLity in Action [+] Alyssa Rosales • Bubblegum Husky • Charles-wolfman • Chibiabos • Cory Williamson • Crusadercat • Dalavesta • Dalhusky • Darkhorseman • Dracoguard • Ebon Lupus • Esachasa • Joel Monaghan • Jonathan Niehaus • John Sakars • Kero The Wolf • Marry Your Pet • Mr. Hands • Neuticles.com • Poeticirony • Sarah Butts • ShadoWolffess • Skylos • Snover • Steven Bonnell II • The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch • Tigersclaw • Whitney Wisconsin • WolfJLupus • Zetaforum • | |
Why We Don't Have Nice Things [+] Alisa Kuzmenko • Belen Aldecosea • Camrose Cat Killers • Cheyenne Cherry • City glitter • David Motari • Duck Dynasty • Igor Suprunyuck • Isabella Loretta Janke • Kenny Glenn • Kimberleigh Ann Keister • LinktheWolf • Lowti3rgod • Luka Magnotta • Marvin Morvan and Alex Teniola • Melissa Bachman • Monkey hate community • Nikki Joly • Peluchin Entertainment • Michael Vick, a.k.a. Ron Mexico • Randi Harper • Sasuke • Steve Stephens • Tinkebell • Tyler Weinman • Wang Jeu • Zeriara • |