STD

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STD is the outdated term for venereal disease (so called because you get it through your venerium). It stands for 'sexually transmitted diseases'. You can get these by kissing, holding hands, doin' the anal mambo, sharing drinks or looking too closely at those of the opposite gender.

Kinds of STDs

• Genital warts - Small, painful itchy bumps on your cock, cunt or anus. It cannot be cured; look forward to a lonely, titless/dickless life, because no one is going to want to fuck you now.
• Genital Herpes - Pretty much the same deal.
• Gonorrhea - Produces pus (also known as 'gleet') spewing from the end of your cock.
• Syphilis - First causes a rash all over your body, then makes you go crazy and invade other countries.
• Crabs - Lice that live in your pubic hair. (See Lovebugz.)
• AIDS - Damn, dude. I'd start looking around Caskets-R-Us pretty soon. Prevalent in hotel pools, often closing them down completely until management sends out banhammers.
• Hogwarts - A disease caught from having sex with wizards.
• Chlamydia - Usually doesn't cause symptoms, so that you don't even know you have it until you get an ectopic pregnancy about 15 years later, have to have an abortion to save your life, get kicked out of the Catholic Church and burn in hell for eternity.
• Furpes - "Furpes" is a virulent genital ulcerative disease, and one of the most common sexually transmitted infections in furries. The disease is spread by fucking someone who is wearing a stupid costume. Think carefully before you indulge; your actions could lead to large, unsightly pustules and sores all over your knob.
• Diabeetus - An extremely fatal infection contracted by participating in group anal sex with Wilford Brimley.
• Pregnancy - An unsightly complication of semen poisoning characterized by abdominal swelling, public assistance, insomnia, whining, vaginal bloodfarts, and loss of any semblance of a life for at least 100 years.
• Party popper cock worms - multicoloured nematodes that live under the foreskin. When they have finished growing and breeding, the whole colony explodes with a bang and a faint smell of gunpowder, their light ribbon-like bodies catching the breeze and wafting away. Unfortunately, this can blow the top of your cock right off. Easily cured anytime before the final stage by pounding a kilo of rock salt down your urethra.

Cures

The only effective cure for all STDs is suicide and raping a virgin (no shit they still do it in parts of Africa, and since the only virgins left are infant girls ... you get the picture. This really is happening.). It's for the best, really. Unless a necrophiliac comes around. That sick fuck will have to kill himself, and start the cycle all over again. You can try penicillin, but it doesn't work and are a lie spread by the Jew media.

ALTERNATIVELY:

Sadly, those kids were lying. There's no cure.

Statistics

The CDC's latest (2009) study on STDs found:

• 1.2 million cases of chlamydia were reported in 2008, up from 1.1 million in 2007.
• Nearly 337,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported.
• Adolescent girls 15 to 19 years had the most chlamydia and gonorrhea cases of any age group at 409,531.
• Blacks, who represent 12 percent of the U.S. population, accounted for about 71 percent of reported gonorrhea cases and almost half of all chlamydia and syphilis cases in 2008.
• Black women 15 to 19 had the highest rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea.
• 13,500 syphilis cases were reported in 2008, an almost 18 percent increase from 2007.
• 63 percent of syphilis cases were among men who have sex with men.
• Syphilis rates among women increased 36 percent from 2007 to 2008.

Gallery

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  Your cunt got terrible green juices, and that's fucking hysterical.
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  Another unfortunate victim of MONGO.
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  This is Herpes, which you can get either from being a whore or from being MONGO'D. Remember that next time he says he "can't feel anything through the condom."
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  This map shows the rates of being MONGO'D in the United States.
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  With some STDs, your pussy burns.
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  Ribbed for her pleasure!
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See Also

• Jananaphone
• STD Carrier Registries
• Fiero425

STD is part of a series on Sex Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

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