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Revision as of 11:33, 21 September 2023

Stimulate much?

TikTok, ShitTok, ChinkChonk, NigNog or in China known as Douyin (程冲) is a successful experiment to create the most ungodly and contagious digital virus in history. It was crafted by the Chinese corporation ByteDance in 2016 with leverage after Vine shutdown, and later from their Covid-19, when they began merging their Pokemon with Musical.ly to create its final form — unleashing a short-form video pandemic, infecting platforms YouTube, Instagram, Netflix, XVideos and even Spotify...

TL;DR: TikTok is a virus camouflaged as an app, created by the Chinese to gain world domination. And Covid-19 was created as a side for it. TRUST ME.

History

In September 2016, ByteDance created an app called "A.me", which later became known as "Douyin". After its launch, literally no one in China wanted to use that app, until they paid Asian celebrities to use it a year after. Meanwhile Musical.ly died out, so ByteDance purchased that app for $1 billion and merged "Flipagram" into one app, thus TikTok was born. It was also previously owned by Facebook, but who cares?

As it was merged with Musical.ly, millions of users using the app would be lip-syncing, dancing, and creating low quality content 24/7, somehow almost skyrocketing to the top of the list of social media apps. YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat and others among its rivals would later copy TikTok's short form video style as a feature to their own apps, in order to survive the era of short-form attention span.

In 2020, China's classic COVID-19 was spread across the world. This lead everyone into widespread boredom stuck within their homes, using TikTok because of that spike in popularity. ByteDance has became an even more rich and successful company, collecting shekels of ad revenue and selling user data among the Chinese government to this day.

Using TikTok

Beastars degeneracy on the tok tik

You may be asking, “How the fuck does one use TikTok?” Well, it's quite simple. All you need is a smartphone or a web browser, then you can feast on an AIDS all you can eat. If you want to create some AIDS, follow these steps:

  1. Film yourself being as retarded as possible.
  2. Put a shit song/sound, and text to speech
  3. ???
  4. PROFIT!

If your TikTok is viral enough, you may start a TikTok challenge or trend, where millions of people will be sucked into a varient of the TikTok virus.

You can also create "duets" to be somehow even less original, just by copying someone else's "work" and for attention. You can also "react" to someone else by talking over a video unnecessarily, and gain more attention.

Types of Content

  • Loud text-to-speech captions over recordings about someones ignorant opinions/jokes, causing clueless protests, trends, and ideologies.
  • Split-screen overstimulation videos made of multiple other videos. Almost always a Family Guy clip, with mobile games like Subway Surfers, and/or "oddly satisfying" clip. The other type is the Reddit post above a Minecraft parkour gameplay.
  • Lipsyncing, nowadays you don't even have to do any movements any more.
  • Retarded person being exploited for views (by a parent or friend). More often than not it's fake and acted out.
  • The mentally ill 1% searching for their own unworthy gratification/equality.
  • Scenes cut from a movie or series with gigantic captions slapped ontop. Especially an adult cartoon TV series like Family Guy, South Park, and shows provided by Adult Swim.
  • Move your body spastically around and make it a dance move.
  • Pretending to be something you're not for attention.
  • Women with ridiculously large breasts and butts that twirk or "accidently" show a sexualized body part, all for 13-year-old simps.
  • Posts staring at the screen, it will get millions of views.

TikTok also has many communities, they are categorised and found through the tags on their videos. They tend to be named "X"-Tok like "BookTok", "PetTok", "FaggoTok", etc.

Userbase

These are the most common types of users you will find on TikTok.

  1. SJWs
  2. attention whores
  3. 12 16 year old girls/boys
  4. whores/bitches
  5. douches
  6. e-girls and e-boys
  7. Girl gamer
  8. faggots and furries
  9. virgins and weebs
  10. losers/retards

See also

TikTok is related to a series on AZNS. [Domo ArigatoHerrow]
More Dangerous Than They Look

Bus UncleElliot RodgerFilthy FrankHideki KamiyaJiverly VoongKatoKenneth EngLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMutsuo ToiNevada-tanOtoya YamaguchiPoisonIvyLulRiboflavinRockonlittleoneRyan's WorldSarah JeongVicki SighVincent LiWayne Chiang

Noted Tyrants

Chairman MaoCho Seung-HuiEllen PaoHirohitoKim Jong IlMontezumaPol PotShinzo AbeWoo Bum-kon


Cam Whores

@OzcultAyuka NaritaBiostudentgirlEelgirlEmotion EricHard GayLittle FattyTila TequilaTubgirlThe Wine KoneTrap-kunXiao RishuYuri Kochiyama

Weeaboos

AimeeApplemilk1988Arudou DebitoDesu-radioFiredarkdragonFred GallagherHidoshiJellobunsKevin and KatMari IijimaMRirianPyroboobyReyvataeilSe-chanSnapesnoggerTwo-Ton-NekoValerie (Pai)ZS3

Musical Endeavors

J-EmoJ-PopJ-RockKpop

Me No Rikey Velly Much

Game2WinterMark WahlbergMiley CyrusPatrick PurdyRobert Aaron LongRucka Rucka AliUnited Airlines

Azn Stuff

1-14 Jakarta Attacks2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombingAnti-CNNAugust 6 & 9 1945Edison Chen photo scandalFan deathMilkMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackMukbangPockyRamenRicersThe SATTurning RedYaeba

TikTok is part of a series on "The Qing of Encyclopedia Dramatica"

Pages
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Famous Figures

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Other

Anti-CNN | Cantopop | Communism | Coronavirus | Foetus soup | Genshin Impact | Chinatown Wars | Hong Kong 97 | Opioids | Swine Flu | Yellow Fever | Zhaodong Massacre‎‎


TikTok is part of a series on

Social Media

Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage.


Featured article August 29 & 30, 2023
Preceded by
Donald Drumpf
TikTok Succeeded by
Breaking Bad