Apple: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 14:40, 17 April 2011

Apple's claim to fame is that they invented the PC even though it was actually invented by the CTC . Apple is also known as the one company that had to be paid by Microsoft to stay in business. Led by all-star douchebag Steve Jobs, Apple is the favorite high-tech company of "artistes" everywhere. This is because people believe Apple makes awesome computers that off-set their exorbitant price by becoming obsolete only once a week. The truth is, they are merely victims of the Reality Distortion Field. While Apple may have done some neat things in the past, they are now just a music company.

Mac users were once the most annoying computer fans on the planet so they always had to empty trash mac. Now they are the second most annoying, just slightly after Linux users. They are continuously bragging about how easy a one-button mouse is, how great the benefits of the "genie" effect are, and act like BSD was just invented. Unfortunately, if you want to be famous, you have to be a Mac user.

Apple has borne an unearthly hatred for Microsoft ever since being marooned on Ceti Alpha V, but Bill Gates still does not mind raking in the cash from all those Microsoft Office sales. People who claim to like Mac computers can typically be found wearing Insane Clown Posse t-shirts.

According to a survey taken in early 2000, Apple had sold a total of 315 Macs to customers on two continents. However, with Apple's recent success, these figures have seen a great increase. A moar recent study shows that Apple now has 908 owners on 3 continents, all of which are female college students, gay hipsters, or old people with poor eyesight who mistook a MacBook for a lime-green black person Grill. This leaves Apple only slightly behind Microsoft's user base of 4.6 billion (mostly non-retarded) customers.

In June 2005, seven PowerPC fans gathered in Cupertino, California in order to collectively slit their wrists. This was meant to protest Apple's move to Intel, but instead provided welcome industrial dye for the new U2-endorsed, strawberry-flavored iMac.

Rumor has it that after being questioned about Apple's move to Intel, Steve Jobs answered "I did it for teh lulz".

Apple's corporate slogan is "Fuck Differently."

Apple Users

Studies show that Mac users are gay. They also show that Lunix users are pedophiles, and because both operating systems are "Unix-like", we can conclude that Mac users too are pedophiles (in addition to being gay).

	“	Once a macfag, always a macfag.	„
	— Tyler Pittman, ED Mailing List.

	“	If I had the choice between being gay and owning a Mac, I would rather be gay because if I owned a Mac, I would be both gay and own a horrible computer.	„
	—Reliable source

	“	HURR DURR I'M AN ELITIST MACFAG, SO I PREFER SHIT OVER ICE CREAM.	„
	—Typical mac user

Apple users believe that they are better than you are, but what they don't know is that Macs were originally (and are still today) made purely for watching gay porn. People who subscribe to Apple's corporate philosophy often espouse the notion that Apple products are somehow inherently more liberal than other things built out of metal and silicon. While this is true for the special case of Ann Coulter, Apple users are in all other cases simply the delusional but willing victims of trendy advertising, which makes expensive computers made by communists appear to be a counter-culture political statement.

Apple users are simply fucktards who will believe anything they see in a commercial, as long as it agrees with the knee-jerk opinions they have already formed from other advertisements. In the final analysis, Apple users are helpless slaves irrevocably wed to the mediated and hyper-hedonistic run away freight train of industrial society; thanks to iPods built with alien mind control technology they are unable to conceive existence outside of music, video, images, and Crapps.

It is these legions of iPod wearing zombies with their thick black framed glasses and trendy shiny hair who are the Storm-Troopers of the "Great-Beast". See, Protocols of the Elders of Macintosh. College and university students and elitists that are taking or have taken business and arts degrees can be found with a Mac which provides them that much needed inferior computing flexibility for their ultimately useless and gay degrees and find that their shitty Mac will contribute most to their student debts.

Your Average Apple Consumer

A typical Macintosh user. Notice the enjoyment he is receiving from ingesting his own feces.

Apple consumers are just that: consumers. They're people who buy shit just because they saw it on TV. Apple consumers are the type of people who are stupid enough to buy a $1499 MacBook Air, which has one USB port and no CD drive, or even a fucking ethernet port, but it can fit inside a manila envelope, which is such a useful function. (Idiot, you can send super secret stuff you hacked by reading CSIII.) They'll also buy an iPod Nano or iPod Shuffle, even if they already own an iPod because all Apple fans are trendyfags who wear tight emo pants so they can't fit a regular-sized iPod in their pocket. Instead if paying $30 for a pair of pants with bigger pockets, they would rather spend $70-$160 on a toy that'll be obsolete the following week.

If you want to know who a typical Apple user is, take a look at any one of the iMac commercials. Apple fans are people who like to be told what to do, and who cannot think for themselves, but merely like to hear one side of an argument from a biased source and never hear the other side of the argument. In other words, Liberals. Your average Apple consumer will be a 20-something Hipster named Grant with stupid chunky black plastic rimmed glasses and/or dyed black emo hair or a bald head (kind of like that fag Moby - who loves Apple so much that he was featured in the iPod introduction video). They are generally the type of people who major in lighting, attend modern art galleries on a regular basis, listen to U2, drink cappuccino, eat organic shit, listen to Indie, and cry while masturbating furiously in the corner to stylistic, artistic, sepia-toned pictures of Bono. They will generally live in either an ugly Victorian townhouse or some other area populated by pretentious champagne socialists. Mac users are to be avoided at all costs. Remember that there's a world of difference between "acting intelligent" and actually "being intelligent" - of course, this statement could only resonate to the mind of a PC user, so you Apple Boys just ignore it and keep on reading.

A typical argument that (kinda) ends in a Mac user's favor:

PC user: Oh hey mac user, what have you been up to?

Mac user: NOT GETTING TEH BLUW SCREEN OF TEH DEATHZ!!! LOLZ!11!one1!

PC user: You do know that the blue screen is actually quite rare, right?

Mac user: wuell at leest i dont get viruses.

PC user: Don't get viruses? YOU DON'T GET VIRUSES BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT MACS!

Mac user: us mac pplz still have the finder, while you pc pplz have to run around in a goose chase, trying to find stuff.

PC user: Is hitting the start button and typing in the search bar much harder than using that gay-ass finder?

Mac user: well macs can run windows now using boowt camp. *Puts on a shitty smart guy face*

PC user: OK, so since it can run my superior operating system with shittier specs, that means I should go out and buy a mac for $2000, when I can get the same PC with the same specs for $400.

Mac user: wweeeeellll-

PC user: You know what, fuck this, you win!

List of Apple fanboys on Youtube

SoldierKnowsBest - [1]
justinsbigidea - [2]
gobbypower - [3]

File:8555 540.jpg

Mac users tend to have HIV

However...

Unlike normal PC users, who more often than not drive a true American car built in Motor City rigged with a V8 engine of at least 1 UK gallon of displacement, you'll quite often find your typical Apple consumer driving a pompous Eurotrash vehicle (e.g. BMW, SAAB, Volkswagen, Peugot), or Subaru with a kayak or pair of cross country skis on the roof, not because they need it or really even want it, but because they feel it would set them apart from all those "other people" ("other people" being those who don't act like faggots).

Apple fans often insist that Macs are easier to use than PCs, but by making such an argument, all they really do is imply that they're too damn stupid to figure out how to use a real computer, rather than an overpriced toy.

Criticism

File:Img3cfef3c5e7eff.jpg

A secret survey conducted by the Rand Corporation in the 1970s confirmed that any person attracted to white, plastic machines completely without sharp edges is an utter homosexual, subconsciously wishing to insert them into his rectum. (This thesis was famously defended by Sigmund Freud at least 100 years ago.) This led some to theorize that the miraculous upsurge in sales at the dawn of the new millennium, after a long period during which no one would buy an Apple computer, was the result of a coup backed by the CIA. It could not be a coincidence, it was argued, that every new design released by Apple had a counterpart amongst the suggestions presented in the Rand Corporation survey, which had recently been made public, to which it was almost identical. The CIA's interest in the coup supposedly was to divert the interest of the inhabitants of California towards "expressing themselves" with shitty programs such as iPhoto, Pages and iMovie (all designed especially to appeal to homosexuals) so that the Republicans could regain power from the Democrats in the 2000 presidential elections. The CIA confessed its partaking in the coup after the Republican Thousand Year Empire was secured in 2004, and admitted to doing this "for the lulz".

Also, although the machines cost $2000, the machines are made in outright sweatshops, and often, the machine will need to be sent back numerous times, due to various problems, until you are forced to buy a new one. This is a form of Steve Jobs manipulation.

In summary, Apple products represent precisely what you don't want to be either in mind, body, or spirit. Avoid all traces of this evil in your otherwise rewarding journey through life and never forget to enjoy the occasional chuckle at the expense of the typical Apple dweeb in your neighborhood.

The truth about Mac users

Mac Gets Served

Crash Different

Typical Mac Faggotry

PC tells the truth

Previous Video | Next Video

DRM

This section is entirely true, so pay attention, asshole.

Steve Jobs has said that Apple is against DRM, but this is complete and total bullshit because everyone who isn't retarted knows that DRM will help Apple sell millions of iPods, even though in the future they will only be associated with homosexuals. If you haven't put this together yourself then allow me to do it for you. DRM means that once a consumer purchases music off iTunes, he (we omit the she because women are supposed to be in the kitchen making dinner while the men are out fucking with hot chicks who are totally asking for it) will only be able to listen to that music on his iPod and in iTunes. OH SHIT, MY IPOD BROKE -- Ha. Good luck with that. Guess what? You fucked yourself. That's right. That Dragonforce that you purchased on iTunes only works on iTunes. The latest iPod looks gay so you decide you want a Zune. After plugging it in you try to put the music you purchased on iTunes onto the Zune. You get so angry you have sex with a couple of the goats that you keep in your mom's basement, punch out your parole officer and cut your dick off in a morphine-induced high. As a result of the protection, you have to buy another iPod to listen to your 9,000 dollars worth of music. Apple argues that it doesn't sell DRM-free music because of the record companies. However, this is a lie because all the same music can be bought without DRM on Amazon MP3.

Although, even though it still sucks, if you burn your music onto CDs, you can re-upload the music for other formats. (Don't tell anyone I told you this. Its a secret. SHHHH)

THUS: APPLE MAKES MONEY OFF YOUR STUPIDITY.

Since anyone with half a brain could figure out how to get music without paying for it by using sites such as Playlist.com, and anyone with half a brain wouldn't buy an iPod, there's no reason why anyone with half a brain would want to use iTunes. However, if one does elect to actually buy a song off iTunes, one will receive the song in a proprietary format, making it useless--and a waste of money--if they want to use the song with anything other than iTunes or their iPod. However, this can be circumvented by using iTunes to burn the song to a CD, then reinserting the CD into the computer and then ripping the song as a WAV or MP3 using Windows Media Player.

Hell, you want to go crazy? Download MGTEK Dopisp. OR MediaMonkey OR [Winamp]. You'll be able to sync your iPod to Windows Media Player, and allows you to put whatever the fuck you want on there regardless of what's on your shitty iPod right now. It won't overwrite or delete anything unless you manually do so (PROTIP: To keep using it after the 30 day trial, uninstall it and clean out the remaining registry entries with a program like CCleaner., or it won't let you use reinstall and use it again without paying for it. Finding a good serial key/crack is a bitch right now.)

Features of a Mac

iMacs typically come installed with 500 gigabytes of Hentai.

File:Gay mac fruit.png

Still Gay.

Software

Apple is the proud creator of the fourth best OS (out of 3 different OS). The Macintosh OS is technically a bait-and-switch scheme to promote overpriced Mac hardware. Unlike Windows, Macintosh OS will refuse to install on a non-Apple machine. You can only install it on "Mac" hardware. (Ironically, Windows can be installed on a Mac.)

The Macintosh OS is ripped off from the BSD and Mach kernels (both of which are free and open-sourced). Mac software consists entirely of stolen Windows software from the 1970s, redesigned to be even moar homosexual and retarded, and about 50 times as expensive. Somehow, this poorly-coded, rehashed software takes up as much hard drive space as one hundred installations of WoW (also the reason your 120Gb iPod Classic can only hold roughly 110Gb from the day you get it). For this, you can thank Steve Jobs for his landmark contribution to the world of computers and digital technology.

Apple also likes to brag about the fact that you can OMG WRITE EMAILS AND CHAT ONLINE WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS, as though this were an impressive accomplishment, despite the fact that Macs fail at performing even these rudimentary tasks. Trying to get a Mac program to run properly, or even run at all, is only slightly more difficult than teaching your Chia pet to do calculus. Fortunately, Macs have a total of seven software programs available to date, so you won't have to worry about this problem much.

Need to run a program for that college class you are in? OOPS YOU OWN A MAC LOL! The real world runs on a PC, thus programs are tailored for them. So be cool, get your Mac, show up to class, and then run to the bookstore and get a $70 mirroring software bundle so your shitty Mac can run programs built for the PC. But it's all good, because the software comes with a free hand job from Mr. Jobs.

In addition, Apple has a strange ability to conjure up all of the smug in everyone, and as such, their software will physically and mentally alter their users to believing anything that Apple says, and claiming that Apple software is always better, much more secure, and whatever else their enlightened brains are told. To this day, complementing Apple's professional hardware is one of the most enjoyable things to do. Much self-righteousness will ensue.

Mac Viruses

Ever wondered where all the viruses for Macs are? Mac fanboys will bullshit you, saying that it is due to the Mac's enhanced virus protection. However, 1: Macs are almost as vulnerable to viruses as Windows. And 2: For a virus to exist, someone has to be around to make it, and nobody uses Macs. That's right, Macs can't even get negative attention. Nobody gives a shit about them. Even Linux has better security than Macs. Pretty damn pathetic.

As of April 2009, Apple has less than 4% global market share (it's something like 9.4% in the US). So the reason why Macs get less viruses is because, since almost nobody uses Macs, there's little incentive for adware companies to make viruses that target them. So when iDiots try to convert PC users, they're shooting themselves in the foot because if they make Macs more popular, they also make them a bigger target for virus makers, and that "security" they like to brag about won't seem so great anymore.

Anyway, Apple's idea of "virus protection" is not letting you install half of the programs that exist on the internets.

Contrary to popular belief, a few viruses do exist on all Apple machines ranging from old to new (except for the ones that are new, give it a week or four). CERT listed about 258 Apple security vulnerabilities in May, 2008. Apple keeps the ones it discovered secret. A newer one fucks with gravity sensors inside the MacBook (which further proves they are insane) and ejaculates your MacBook to space. Users of this virus simply plug in a USB flash drive and if autorun is active on said MacBook, it is fucked. Unfortunately for said virus, autorun does not exist on OS X, rendering this virus somewhat useless, relying instead on the "honor system", whereby the user must erase their hard drive manually. Mac-loving faggots (aka Fanbois) will constantly complain about this, claiming that this is not a virus but a "prank which fucks up your computer". On a serious note: WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS A VIRUS?

Gaming

LOL WUT? To date not even Battletoads, one of the most profound and popular games ever invented, is available to play on an Apple computer, because each and every NES emulator for the Mac is shareware, that happens to cost $30 bucks, just to play in fullscreen and/or with a gamepad. In order to play any game besides BOLO, Glider Pro or Marathon 2: Durandal, you would have to simply forget about it, and buy a new computer that isn't a Mac.

For those who still wish to be elitist douchebags, you can use the commercial program CrossOver Mac to try and run Windows games on a Mac, though the only game proven to work through this method is Furcadia. (Only $69.95 for all the pixellated yiffing you can stroke your dick at!)

Aside from emulation, or buying a new computer, the second-most effective last resort Macfags have discovered is to install Windows itself on their overpriced toys through a utility called Bootcamp developed by Apple themselves. The result more or less resembles a functional Windows PC (but with a gay, white case), but if you're going to do all that, why not just buy a real computer? For the same price as the only low end, bottom of the barrel iMac one can afford, a standard PC with some decent hardware can easily be purchased for much less, and thus you will not be doomed to game on a pathetic 128mb video card that you can't remove or replace, because Macs aren't upgradable.

Password Saving

Apple computers have a great "feature" that stores all your passwords in a nifty program to let you organize and view them all. This of course means that anybody you let use your computer can see you have logins for biggayassfuckings.com, oldmensuck.org and hotpreteensluts.net, thus confirming their suspicions that you're a sick fuck. Also enjoy having your facebook raped in the ass every week and having your name officially changed to Dick McSuckerton.

Adobe Flash

Apple and Adobe have recently divorced each other. It all started when Steve Jobs decided Apple was too cool for Flash. Some random guy (apparently Steve Jobs) recently released a lulzy, butthurt report on why Apple shouldn't use Flash in its mobile devices. BAWW

Things You'll Never See A Mac Do

Avoid the debates. This sums up everything in one picture.

Be inexpensive.
Have ads that aren't annoying or insulting.
Have users who aren't uptight douchebags.
Have programs that "Just Work."
Play any game besides BOLO.
Last for even a week without requiring extensive repair.
Update existing software (because there never was any to begin with).
Load accounts.
Load websites.
Take less than 100 years to get online.
Stay online for more than .0003 nanoseconds.
Load files.
Compute.
Run for a minute without overheating.
Be plugged in without blowing every fuse in your house.
Do anything even remotely resembling the normal functions of a computer.
Be able to function as anything except a clunky, hideously ugly, $3,000 paperweight.
Think of something you want it to do, then substitute here.
Become heterosexual, there's no chance of this happening.

Apple in Popular Culture

Unfortunately, Macs are featured in most TV shows and movies in place of regular computers - this is because the props departments can pick them up at an outrageous price from any liberal arts college, organic food store, or Starbucks.

Apple Macs were the high tech backbone of Jurassic Park's security system. However, due to a large amount of fail, lulz ensued.
The Apple Newton was used by Vin Diesel in Under Siege IV: The Revenge, where he helped defend a hijacked passenger space shuttle from rebel nigras. However, due to a large amount of fail, lulz ensued.
A Macintosh Performa 600 was used in the movie Blank Check. Counterfeiters, take note: if it worked in a Disney movie in 1994, it will probably still work today.
iMacs were used in the movie i, Robot (note the product endorsement) to program "intelligent" robot beings who would later rape the humans for their blood and Jew gold in a crazy haphazard sort of mix up similar to what will happen to Apple in the coming years.
In the movie Sneakers, Robert Redford h4xxor3d the CIA using a Mac Classic. However, they got him when he was caught playing Oregon Trail. Lulz ensued.
After David Koresh and the Branch Davidians were pwn3d by the ATF, CSI showed that they were caught by surprise fapping off to porn on Macs. Lulz ensued.
In the movie Independence Day Jeff Goldblum used an iBook to upload a Laughing Skull Virus to the alien mainframe, causing them to be easily defeated. The death of the aliens allowed the future of mankind and lulz to continue.
HAL 9000, the infamous killer computer in the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey ran on Mac OSX, proving that Macs can be just as evil, if not more, than Microsoft PCs.
In Robocop 2, the bad robot, Cain (which had a brain from a drug-addict), runs on Mac OS, while Robocop runs on good old MS-DOS.
A woman is shown using a Mac in The Net, and is shown doing a virus scan at the start of the film, then gets her IRL identity changed by hackers because of her being a whore.
The computer that saved the world every 108 minutes in Lost was from a variety of different Mac series. It was designed to have a long string of numbers entered into it by some poor bastard (because the Mac's amazing software couldn't just fucking enter the numbers itself to save everyone a ton of trouble) every hour and 48 minutes to keep the island from swallowing the world. The Mac's presence outraged Locke who proceeded to pwn the sorry excuse of a computer which resulted in an electromagnetic epic fail. Lulz ensued.

Apple's Marketing Scheme

1. Pay software companies to bundle Safari, Bonjour, iTunes, iTunes Helper, Quicktime, Quicktime Updater, Mobile Device Sync, and other shitty unnecessary bloatware into things such as Java and Flash updates for Windows.

2. Make all of these programs/add-ons startup services in Windows. This causes frustration among retarded PC users who cannot figure out why their computer is running like crap.

3. Fucktard PC user hears from his friend, "zomg macs are like teh shit. they nevar get viruses or have any problems"

4. Said fucktard goes to the Mac store and pays for an insanely overpriced Mac.

5. ???????????

6. PROFIT!!!!!

Apple Switch Ad Campaign

Switch was an ad campaign launched by Apple Computer on June 10, 2002. It featured what the company referred to as "real people" who had "switched" from the Microsoft Windows platform to the Mac. Rather than show any redeeming qualities (there are none), they showed how down and cool they were with the average user. An international television and print ad campaign directed users to a website where various myths about the Mac platform were dispersed.

One of the people who appeared in the commercials, Ellen Feiss, gained immense popularity overnight in what might be called an Internet phenomenon.

The Switch campaign was cancelled as soon as Apple realized that it was causing a plague of switchers to descend upon the formerly close-knit Mac community.

Apple Advocation

Many apple fanboys love to discuss the supremacy of their operating system. Here's a recent article from anonymous

    In a hypothetical situation; the most homosexual, dildo-savey man with the most
    cocklust in the world would own a mac or two. It's practically faggatory, the design
    is supremely gay, every shemale, transvestite and furry owns one. It's aids in a box.
    There is no way it can get pussey like PCs. The Mac basically screams "I'm a fag!",
    it's not arrogent, just really really gay. Ok so it's more expensive. Well no shit!
    It's like saying a male prostitute or man whore is more expensive than buying a dildo.
    It's simply because one is gayer than the other. The name is more dickliscious;
    it pretty much brings all the boys to the yard. Another example is the gay bar. The Mac
    is the ancient cock society whereas the standard PC is the modern blue oyster that anybody 
    can get into if they suck some dick. Ok so you can't get Apple. Fair enough, not everyone
    is cut out for the butt-pirate end of life. Just like not everybody can get into a mans ass
    or afford the best male strippers. That doesn't mean you have to constantly chuck christians
    at it and try to pick the most immoral of flaws in it.
    Get over us!

Videos

Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

Galleria de MacTard About missing Pics

Mac users get boned again.
What the apple logo should look like.

What the apple logo should look like.
It doesn't matter, Mac users like getting boned!
What Steve Jobs is reduced to after Windows.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Goatse Security hack.
Jesus uses a Mac.
A common Apple user showing her appreciation to the company.
The New iBook G6. Note the superior monochromatic screen.
Xzibit replaced Steve Jobs.
Simple diagram explaining Mac vs. PC.
Mac usage vs. homosexuality
Cool new features that Apple won't shut up about.
Mac user poster-boy, Kevin Rose.
Mac Fag being electrocuted by his malfunctioning iPod. Good.
All Apple employees are more creative, artistic, and fuckable than you. See also: Freddie Mercury.
Looks can be decieving.
Typical Mac user.
One of the great examples of truth in advertising.
Famous quote from Steve Jobs' announcement of Intel adoption.
Black people don't use Macs.
Bring me the head of Steve Jobs!
Noobs on Jewtube arguing.
black person with a mac? This must be fake.

black person with a mac? This must be fake.
Even Tim hates Mac and their ads.
Buying a Mac so you can run Windows? BRILLIANT!
Apple makes you fat and gay, guaranteed.
Pushing its teknology to teh limits.
Cutting your own penis off makes your crotch just as feature-less as a mac.
Think different.
Truth
You win teh prize!
PCs are like TF2 sentries - they're upgradable, can be built by yourself, it's rugged, etc. On the other hand, Macs are like Portal sentries - they can talk and piss off everything that moves. Fucking great.
We've all wondered this at one point or another
An insight into the 'wonderful' mac experience.
Jon owns a Mac.
Who needs a CD drive when you've got a kickass notebook as thin as this? Oh fuck,just get this instead.
Ellen Feiss, switcher. This is how 90s and apathetic you look if you switch to Apple.
Pedophiles love macs because they never pick up viruses while they look for cp torrents.
Obama owns a Mac.
Obama is a faggoty mac. Bush is an aids filled pc.
Typical Apple employee shits her pants in excitement for the newest OS X service pack release.
This was made by Apple,it must be good!
Apple tends to niggers now
Mac screen of death
Macbooks...
Macs love getting fucked!
This guy bought the new Mac Mini.

This guy bought the new Mac Mini.
Even OS X is racist.

Even OS X is racist.
Perfect summary in 2nd post
File:Steve Jobs retard.jpg
Print this out and glue to the walls of your college canteen for epic IRL trolling.
Not being upgradeable keeps computer illiterate mactards from fucking up their own shit.
A long time ago, Macs used to be beige, looked a lot like PCs and could often outperform them. Unfortunately, since they didn't come in a shiny and hipster-pandering case, they failed in the marketplace.

Other Apple Products

External

http://www.quickpwn.com/2010/06/leaked-iphone-4-and-ios4-secrets.html/ APPLE JUST BECAME THE FINAL BOSS OF THE IPHONE. NOW THOSE BASTARDS CAN TRACK EVERYTHING YOU DO. DELETE YOUR FAP FOLDER. http://gawker.com/5539717/steve-jobs-offers-world-freedom-from-porn

DONT BE A FAGGOT Get your high-end PC with OSX installed here.

[RecessionInflation]

£€ Apple is a part of a series on Money $¥

	Companies	AdFly • Adobe • Amazon • Apple • AT&T • BDIC • Bell • Bitcoin • Burger King • Celestial Toystore • Comcast • Costco • Disney • DuckDuckGo • eBay • Ethereum • Fox News • GNWT • Google • Happy Madison Productions • IBM • IKEA • Microsoft • McDonald's • MTV • New Media Rockstars • Nintendo • Novell • Oracle Corporation • Patreon • PayPal • Sony • Sun Microsystems • T-Mobile • Verizon • Viacom • Wal-Mart • Wikia • Yahoo • YouTube
	People	Bernie Madoff • Bill Gates • Chad Hurley • Gregory Kohs • Hal Turner • Jews • Jimbo Wales • Klaus Schwab • L. Ron Jeremy • Larry Sanger • Lyor Cohen • Mario Laudicina • Martin Shkreli • Steve Chen • Steve Jobs
	Ideology / Politics	Austerity • Bailout Plan • Capitalism • Communism • Globalisation • Government • Gun control • Health Care Rage • Iceslave • Judaism • Karl Marx • Obamacare • Ron Paul • Ayn Rand • Randroid • Socialist • Ronald Reagan • Welfare • Zeitgeist Movement • Zeitgeist - The Movie
	Selling	Advertising • Bitcoin • Bribery • Extreme Advertising • Billy Mays • Porn Advertisements • Shamwow • Spam • Subservient Chicken • Winnebago Man • George Zimmer
	Topics	419 Nigerian Email Scams • The Dot.Com Bubble • Economist • Economy • Foreign Girlfriend • Internet money • Jew Gold • Money • NFTs • Poor • Profit • Rape dollars • Scientology • Toilet Paper Hoarding • Unlimited disposable income

Apple is part of a series on

Softwarez

Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article September 27, 2006
Preceded by The Matrix	Apple	Succeeded by Bill Gates

@@ Line 298: / Line 298: @@
 File:Apple Turbocharge.png|Print this out and glue to the walls of your college canteen for epic [[IRL trolling]].
 File:Cut video card.jpg|Not being upgradeable keeps computer illiterate mactards from fucking up their own shit.
+File:Power-macintosh-7200.jpg|A long time ago, Macs used to be beige, looked a lot like PCs and could often outperform them. Unfortunately, since they didn't come in a shiny and hipster-pandering case, they [[fail|failed]] in the marketplace.
 </gallery>|0}}