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Dog: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:Dog.jpg|thumb|right|200px|<s>Man's best friend, the dog.</s> A nigger on all fours]]
[[image:Dramatic Stare Dog.gif|250px|right]]
 
'''Dogs''' are vicious, pack-hunting, [[Coprophagia|crap-eating]], quadrupeds whose most distinguishing characteristics are their distinct rotting garbage body odor and ability to bark at 150 decibels nonstop all night. Like wolves, they derive from the ''Canis'' genus but, unlike wolves, are illegal to poison, pet-dress, or have sex with. Despite being able to eat [[cats]], young children, and pretty much anything smaller than them, dogs are considered the [[retards]] of the animal world, which is why they're often referred to as "man's best friend".
 
__TOC__{{clear}}
How many of you love '''Dogs'''?  Your [[bestiality|best friend]], [[buy a dog|your protector]], etc.  [[GodJesus]] said in Mathew 7:15-16 to beware of a wolves in sheeps' clothing--do you know what he referred to?  That's right, dogs!  Dogs are wolves that were selectively bred since 100,000 BC by Satan ([[creationism|since people didn't exist till 6000BC]]) and then bred by humans since 6000BC to appear like little sheep.  But inwardly dogs are ravenous wolves.
 
Dogs love to:
* Scare [[you|people]]
* Attack [[you|people]]
* Smell like rotting [[crap|garbage]]
* eat young children
* [[vore|eat whatever is smaller than it]]
* Bark at 150 decibels like a broken record 24/7 nonstop
* [[Rape]] humans, including young [[children]]
* [[Coprophagia|Eat feces]]
* Eat their own regurgitation
 
And all the while because of their sheep disguise it's illegal to shoot them, poison them, do pet dressing, or even have sex with them. And of course, dog sex is the best. In fact, according to a recent study, having sex with dogs is shown to increase midiclorian count. If somebody walks in [[accidentally]] on you in the middle of the act, many [[lulz]] are bound to ensue, because the dog penis locks inside whatever orifice it has been put into for at least an hour and a half. Of course, you'll never get any dog pussy because you are [[you]], and therefore, you [[fail]] at life. And have a small [[penis]].
 
==Dog hunting==
You can't shoot dogs, that is, ''unless'' they're "coyotes", which are mostly dog but aren't completely [[retarded]] and can survive in the wild. Then you can blast away at them 24 hours a day and the animal freaks can't give you shit about it.  Of course, Americans don't know how to cook them, but Cantonese cooks can make anything taste good.  Whether you enjoy the meat or not, it's nothing compared to the priceless expression when you invite over the [[PETA]] [[fags|members]] and they see all those heads mounted on the wall!
 
==Working With Dogs==
==Working With Dogs==
[[Image:Pandaclipdog.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Ask your groomer for the panda clip]]
[[Image:Pandaclipdog.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Ask your groomer for the panda clip]]
 
[[You]] can make some dough off this much [[raped|beloved]] family [[furry|pet]].  
[[You]] can make some dough off this much [[raeped|beloved]] family [[furry|pet]].  
*'''Veterinarian''': A wonderful profession where you will have the chance to [[bestiality|stick thermometers up dog's asses]] and be exposed to [[Aids|multiple diseases that can be passed from animals to humans]]. On the plus side, you get to charge [[at least 100|a buttload]] of [[money]] by prescribing [[drugs]] meant for humans at twice the price to fucktard owners as well as be legally allowed to [[pwn|put dogs down]].  
 
*'''Groomer''': A [[shit|great]] alternative if you're too stupid to pass Med school for animals. You'll have a fun-filled day of being [[guro|slashed]] bloody by newly cut nails, cleaning around Fido's ass and listening to the yapping of small purse dogs owned by [[whores|prominent female celebrities]]. You won't get paid fuck all, but the fun part is making dogs looking even more fucking [[retarded]] than they already are.  
* Vet: A wonderful profession where you will have the chance to [[bestiality|stick thermometers up dog's asses]], be exposed to [[Aids|multiple diseases that can be passed from animals to humans]] and be privy to Fido's daily bathroom schedule. Get paid [[at_least_100|a buttload]] of [[money]] by prescribing [[drugs]] meant for humans at twice the price to fucktard owners. On the plus side you get to [[pwn|put dogs down]].  
*'''Trainer''': Make shitloads of cash on people too fucking lazy to teach their own pet basic commands.  
 
*'''Police''': Train big fucking dogs to maul [[niggers|criminals]].
* Groomer: A [[shit|great]] alternative if [[you]] are too [[stupid]] to pass Med school for animals. You'll have a fun-filled day of being [[guro|slashed]] bloody by newly cut nails, cleaning around Fido's ass and listening to the yapping of small purse dogs owned by [[whores|prominent female celebrites]]. You won't get paid fuck all, but the fun part is making dogs looking even more fucking [[retarded]] than they already are.  
*'''Breeder''': Dogs need human help doing such natural things as [[fucking]]. Make [[Profit]] from purebreds and make even [[moar]] by mating two different types of dogs together to create a fun new hybrid with the worst traits of both parents. Because we all know there's not enough of these bastards on the streets.
 
* Trainer: Make shitloads of cash on people too fucking lazy/[[retarded]] to teach their own pet basic commands.  
 
* Police : Train big fucking dogs to maul [[niggers|criminals]].
 
* Breeder: Dogs need human help doing such natural things as [[fucking]]. Make [[Profit]] from purebreds and make even [[moar]] by mating two different types of dogs together to create a fun new hybrid with the worst traits of both parents.
 
==Did you know?==
Other species keep pets too.  Ants tend to beautiful lycaenid caterpillars night and day.  Birds keep [[cocks|cuckoo]]s, who grow larger and larger and more and more demanding, giving the parent birds endless entertainment.  ''"Awww, did my little cuckoo knock that egg out of the nest?  ''Bad cuckoo.''  Let me get you a snack!"''  Like dogs do for humans with a breeder instinct, cuckoos give birds a fulfilling alternative to parenthood.


==Famous Dogs==
==Famous Dogs==
[[Image:SparkledogDA.jpg|thumb|right|200px|General [[DevianTart]] consensus of what a dog looks like ]]
[[File:DOGRAPE.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Cartoon dogs]][[Image:Scoobydoorule34.jpg|thumb|200px|Rooby Rooby Roo!]]
[[File:DOGRAPE.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Cartoon dogs]]
*'''Cujo''': What most dogs aspire to be
[[Image:Scoobydoorule34.jpg|thumb|200px|Rooby Rooby Roo!]]
*'''Goofy''': Retarded [[Disney]] character and [[Goofy Time|advocate of child abuse]]
*'''Cujo''' - what most dogs aspire to be
*'''Snoopy'': Has [[herpes]] of the mouth, which sucks because he likes to [[Pedophilia|lick little girls]]
*'''Goofy''' - retarded [[Disney]] character and [[Goofy Time|advocate of child abuse]].
*'''[[Family Guy|Brian]]''': Snoopy copypaste
*'''Snoopy''' from ''[[Penis|Peanuts]]'' - an [[unfunny]] dog. Apparently he has [[Herpes]] of the mouth, which sucks because he likes to [[Pedophilia|Lick little girls]].
*'''Balto''': Sled dog who proved dogs can do fucking anything, also a favorite movie of [[furries]] and [[wolfaboo]]s
*'''Brian''' from ''[[Family Guy]]'' - a Snoopy copypaste  
*'''Scooby-Doo''': A retarded talking cartoon dog
*'''Balto''' - a sled dog, proving dogs will do fucking anything, also a favorite movie of [[furries]] and [[wolfaboo]]s
*'''Lassie''': Collie dog from from an old TV show
*'''[[Scotland|Greyfriar's Bobby]]''' - a dog noted for starving to death on his owner's grave
*'''Toto''': Dorothy's companion in ''The Wizard of Oz''
*'''Hachiko''' - the [[weeaboo]] version of the Greyfriar story
*'''Ren''': Psychotic rat-dog
*'''Scooby-Doo''' - a [[retarded]] talking cartoon dog
*'''Lassie''' - a collie dog from from a fucking [[old]] TV show
*'''Benji''' - a mutt dog from a fucking [[old]] movie
*'''Toto''' - Dorothy's companion in ''The Wizard of Oz''
*'''Ren''' - "[[You]] [[EDiot|EEEEEEEEEDiot]]!!!"
{{clear}}
{{clear}}


==Videos and Gallery==
==Galleries==
<center>{{Frame|<youtube>Hb92wQpPG-s</youtube>|border=darkgreen|background=darkgreen}}</center>
{{cg||Dog Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
<br>
<center>{{cg|Bark bark!|Dogs|center|<gallery>
File:Getouttaheredog.gif|Never has a fiercer battle been witnessed
File:Getouttaheredog.gif|Never has a fiercer battle been witnessed
File:Dog and stairs.gif
File:Tipsy puppy.gif
File:Puppy yawn.gif
File:Eating dog.gif
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Doom dog.gif
File:Mimic dog.gif
File:Burrito Dog.gif
File:Mirror pug.gif
File:Puppy kiss.gif
Image:Rollingdog.gif
File:Lettuce dog.gif|Show that lettuce who's boss!
File:Dog tickling.gif
File:Baby pitbull.gif
File:Dancing Husky.gif
File:Dog catches ball.gif
File:Don't hug me bitch.gif
File:Duck and dog.gif
File:Lifeguard dog.gif
File:Pitbulls.gif
File:Poodle backflips.gif
File:Pug lick.gif
File:Pug tongue.gif
File:Sleeping puppies.gif
File:Super Chihuahua.gif
File:Tank Chihuahua.gif
File:Wanna go for a walk.gif
File:Your mom was a bitch.gif
File:Fresh dog.gif
File:These two are having more fun than you ever will.gif
File:Holy shit, a lemon.gif
File:Blower dog.gif
File:Dog in the snow.gif
File:Hall doggies.gif
File:Stairs dog.gif
File:Cattle Grate Crossing.gif
File:Chariot Chihuahua.gif
File:Skateboard Pitbull.gif
File:Fridge dog.gif
File:Six puppies.gif
File:Scared pug.gif
File:In Your Bag dog.gif
File:Jump dog.gif
File:Air walking dog.gif
File:Dog high five.gif
File:Dog nursing.gif
File:Dog and ball.gif
File:Unicorn dog.gif
File:Running Puppies.gif
File:Door thingy dog.gif
File:Dog tail wacking cat.gif
File:Dog bites a guy's penis.gif
File:Dog attack.gif
File:Spin dog.gif
File:Rotweiler Bridge.gif
File:Puppies Swarm Kitty.gif
File:Blanket dog.gif
File:Dog and piglet.gif
File:Dog toy.gif
File:Happy dog.gif
File:Dog poo.gif
File:Dog food.gif
File:Dogs spin.gif
File:Dog plushies.jpg
File:Look at all the places I could pee.jpg
File:Lion King dogs.jpg
File:Fresh kooled canine semen.jpg
File:Violent sex offender captured.jpg
File:I bottle-fed my children - but I breasteed my pug dog!.jpg
File:Buenodog.jpg
File:DO WANT.jpg
File:DONOTWANT doggy2.jpg
File:Here, haz a Pez.PNG
File:Chill out, I got this.jpg
File:Fryscream.jpg|The best way to defeat the dogs trying to stop Anonymous..
File:1276050082559.gif|Right after this one of course
File:Doitfaggot.puppybun.jpg
File:Hotdiggetydog.jpg
Image:Chicken-joke.gif|Dogs love [[lulz]].
File:King Jowls II.jpg|Some dogs are stern and autocratic rulers.
Image:SparkledogDA.jpg|General [[DevianTart]] consensus of what a dog looks like
File:ladytramp.gif|[[delicious cake|It is delicious dog, you must eat it.]]
File:ladytramp.gif|[[delicious cake|It is delicious dog, you must eat it.]]
Image:Chicken-joke.gif|Dogs love [[lulz]].
Image:Rollingdog.gif|Dogs are very intelligent.
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Fryscream.jpg|THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT THE DOGS TRYING TO STOP ANONYMOUS
File:FurryShepherd34.jpg|Furries [[raep|love]] dogs.
File:FurryShepherd34.jpg|Furries [[raep|love]] dogs.
File:Buenodog.jpg
File:Dogthebountyhunter.jpg|The dumbest of all dog breeds.
File:King Jowls II.jpg|Some dogs are stern and autocratic rulers.
File:dogai.jpg|The wholesome career of dog breeding.
File:dogai.jpg|The wholesome career of dog breeding.
File:Pedobear_and_boo.png|[[Boo]] and a [[Plushie|Pedobear Plush]].
File:Pedobear_and_boo.png|[[Boo]] and a [[Plushie|Pedobear Plush]].
File:Giant george 04.jpg|Some dogs are huge. Like [[Giant George]]!
File:Giant george 04.jpg|Some dogs are huge. Like [[Giant George]]!
</gallery>}}{{clear}}</center>
File:I must barf and then eat that barf.jpg
File:Puppies for dummies.png
</gallery>}}<br>


==See also==
{{cg|Memes|Dog Meme Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
<big>Examples of Dog Abuse:</big><br />
File:Advice steal candy.jpg.JPG|[[Advice Dog]]
*[[Bestiality]]
File:Broccolioriginal.jpg|[[Broccoli Dog]]
*[[Dalavesta]]
File:Creepy dog.gif|[[Cupcake Dog]]
*[[Dracoguard]]
File:Stoner-Dog-dude-wat.jpg|[[Stoner Dog]]
*[[Esachasa]]
File:Apathydog282.jpg|[[Apathy Dog]]
*[[Furries]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
*[[Poeticirony]]
File:Big Dog.jpg|[[Big Dog]]
*[[Pumba Jeffery Larocque]]
File:Ddkill.jpg|[[Depression Dog]]
*[[Puppy Pitcher]]
File:Fapdoghandpregnant.jpg|[[Fap Dog]]
*[[WolfJLupus]]
File:Goodadvicedog5.jpg|[[Good Advice Dog]]
File:OldAdvice1.png|[[Old Advice Dog]]
File:Racist chain.jpg|[[Racist Dog]]
</gallery>}}


==Videos==
<center>{{fv|Videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>6US4d2OqtEM</youtube>
|<youtube>Hb92wQpPG-s</youtube>
}}</center>


<big>Others:</big><br />
==See Also==
*[[Buy A Dog]]
*[[Buy A Dog]]
*[[Buzzkilling|Those Are My Shoes]]
*[[Chevy the Therapy Dog]]
 
*[[Chihuahuas]]
==Links==
*[[On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog]]
*[http://www.dogster.com Dogster]
*[[Pirate Dog]]
*[http://doggroomingboutique.com Pedipaws]
*[http://www.uniteddogs.com/en/welcome United Dogs]
*[http://www.dogchannel.com/dfdc_portal.aspx Dog Channel/DogFancy Magazine]
*[http://www.moderndogmagazine.com/ Modern Dog Magazine]
 
{{animals}}
{{animals}}
[[Category:Furries]]
[[Category:Furries]]

Revision as of 18:37, 8 February 2013

Dogs are vicious, pack-hunting, crap-eating, quadrupeds whose most distinguishing characteristics are their distinct rotting garbage body odor and ability to bark at 150 decibels nonstop all night. Like wolves, they derive from the Canis genus but, unlike wolves, are illegal to poison, pet-dress, or have sex with. Despite being able to eat cats, young children, and pretty much anything smaller than them, dogs are considered the retards of the animal world, which is why they're often referred to as "man's best friend".

Working With Dogs

Ask your groomer for the panda clip

You can make some dough off this much beloved family pet.

  • Veterinarian: A wonderful profession where you will have the chance to stick thermometers up dog's asses and be exposed to multiple diseases that can be passed from animals to humans. On the plus side, you get to charge a buttload of money by prescribing drugs meant for humans at twice the price to fucktard owners as well as be legally allowed to put dogs down.
  • Groomer: A great alternative if you're too stupid to pass Med school for animals. You'll have a fun-filled day of being slashed bloody by newly cut nails, cleaning around Fido's ass and listening to the yapping of small purse dogs owned by prominent female celebrities. You won't get paid fuck all, but the fun part is making dogs looking even more fucking retarded than they already are.
  • Trainer: Make shitloads of cash on people too fucking lazy to teach their own pet basic commands.
  • Police: Train big fucking dogs to maul criminals.
  • Breeder: Dogs need human help doing such natural things as fucking. Make Profit from purebreds and make even moar by mating two different types of dogs together to create a fun new hybrid with the worst traits of both parents. Because we all know there's not enough of these bastards on the streets.

Famous Dogs

Cartoon dogs
Rooby Rooby Roo!
  • Cujo: What most dogs aspire to be
  • Goofy: Retarded Disney character and advocate of child abuse
  • 'Snoopy: Has herpes of the mouth, which sucks because he likes to lick little girls
  • Brian: Snoopy copypaste
  • Balto: Sled dog who proved dogs can do fucking anything, also a favorite movie of furries and wolfaboos
  • Scooby-Doo: A retarded talking cartoon dog
  • Lassie: Collie dog from from an old TV show
  • Toto: Dorothy's companion in The Wizard of Oz
  • Ren: Psychotic rat-dog

Galleries

  • Never has a fiercer battle been witnessed
    Never has a fiercer battle been witnessed
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Videos

Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

Dog
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy

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