Homeschooling

PROTIP: The 7 year old child is fictional.

PROTIP: The 7 year old child is still fictional.

Wiccan advice for furry homeschooling.

A hot issue in the realm of pop parenting, homeschooling is where some unfortunate child's parents get the idea in their head that they are more qualified than a trained teacher uncaring middle aged asshole who barely passed college by sucking their professor's cock to educate their child, usually because the public school system will not indoctrinate said child with their fundie beliefs. For more information, see homeschooling.

Origins of Homeschooling

Homeschooling began way too long ago as a way for parents to ensure their children would never make babies. Because abstinence plays such a central role in homeschooling, it is commonly accepted that their numbers are increased primarily by conversion of people from outside of the homeschooling circle. However, most folks are about as likely to homeschool as they are to throw away their matches and rub two sticks together to make fire. This ensures that the homeschooling's proliferation never gets out of hand.

Why People Choose Homeschooling

Parents generally feel the school system is ill equipped to explain to their child why the world is still flat, or why working for the benefit of mankind is cooler than drugs and sex. Some of them even go and get degrees so they can better assure the rest of the world that it is flat, and that anyone who disagrees with them is a fag anyhow.

Pros

• More time for the internet when your coked up "teacher" isn't looking

• Child Abuse

• Never being let out of your house

• Compared to public school, the education you can get from your_mom can be a lot better, assuming that they aren't underqualified.

• Homeschooled students are not subject to the testing requirements of the No Child Left Behind Act.

• Sex Ed Class

Cons

• "We don't believe in dinosaurs"

• All homeschooled characters start off with 1 in charisma, and pay double point cost for any and all social skills.

• "I wasn't worried about Becky's education till I went to her school and saw just how many MOOSLEMS were there."

• "We want our children to grow up thinking balanced and rationally, reciting Pi to the 108th digit every morning and doing his cube root exercises at bedtime"

• Conservapedia

• You still have to take the fucking SAT to get into college.

• Andy Schlafly

• Your parents micromanage your life.

• Because of this, homeschool kids are over 9000 times more likely to become druggie hedonists when they get to college and finally have some freedom. Those who don't will spend the entire time studying and having no life, thereby missing out on the best parts of college.

See Also

• School
• Private School
• Pedophilia
• Creationist
• Sick fuck
• Daniellehedgehog

Homeschooling is part of a series on Education [Drop OutGo To School]

Places Apalachee High School | Aztec High School | Chardon High School | Charles University | Charter School | College | Columbine High School | Delaware State University | East High School Salt Lake City | Emory University | Franklin Regional High School | Geschwister Scholl-Schule | Harvard | Heath High School | ITT Tech | IvyGate | Jokela High School | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School | MIT | Mountain Vista High School | NIU | NTI Gymnasiet Kristianstad | Oxford High School | Procter R. Hug High | Red Lake Senior High School | Sandy Hook Elementary School | School | Seinäjoki University of Applied Sciences | Steubenville High School | Success Tech | The Binghamton Tet Offensive | The Well-Cultured Anonymous | Thurston High School | University of Alabama | Virginia Tech People Attention Whores | Emo | Engineer | Frat boys | Goth | Hipster | Jock | Punk | Scenester | Student | The beautiful people | Teachers Events Common Core | D.A.R.E. | Date Rape | Drinking | Homeschooling | Man points | Masturbation in showers | School Shooting | Statue-baiting | Taking the SAT