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{{TL;DR}}
{{TL;DR}}
{{Template:Man|But it's an easy mistake to make.}}
{{Template:Man|But it's an easy mistake to make.}}
[[Image:VampiricSpektor_Finger.JPG|thumb|left|VampiricSpektor, total [[goth]] thug.]]
[[File:Vampiricspektor awakens.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Fangs bared]]
[[File:Joeboybeast.jpg|thumb|right|[[Joseph8276|His nephew]], he touched his [[rape|no]]-[[pedophile|no]] place.]]
{{quote|I am a telepathic Psychic, i see things no one can understand or comprehend. I love Sci-fi/horror movies, Underground Industrial/[[EBM]] music and my Heroes are the X-men and all Homo-sexuals in the world, God is my savior and my main hobby is Religion and the effects of Spell Casting :)
{{quote|I am a telepathic Psychic, i see things no one can understand or comprehend. I love Sci-fi/horror movies, Underground Industrial/[[EBM]] music and my Heroes are the X-men and all Homo-sexuals in the world, God is my savior and my main hobby is Religion and the effects of Spell Casting :)|[[Fag|Michael-Kun]], full of contradictions}}
|[[Fag|Michael-Kun]], full of contradictions}}
 
<br>
'''VampiricSpektor''', or Michael-Kun, is a [[fat|voluptuous]] internet slob-beast living in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who [[internet tough guy|began to discover that [i] aquired(sic) psychic abilities at the age of 15 as well as enlisting powers such as telepathy, soul blasts, astral plane walking, ghost communicating and hamburgling]]. His belief that people give a shit about his opinions and his mystifying ability to predict disasters after they occur make her a dangerous, albeit prime [[lolcow]].
[[Image:VampiricSpektor_Finger.JPG|thumb|right|VampiricSpektor, total [[goth]] thug.]]
[[Image:Joeboybeast.jpg|thumb|[[Joseph8276|His nephew]], he touched his [[rape|no]]-[[pedophile|no]] place.]]
'''VampiricSpektor''', or Michael-Kun, is a [[fat|voluptuous]] internet slob-beast living in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who [[internet tough guy|began to discover that [i] aquired(sic) psychic abilities at the age of 15 as well as enlisting powers such as telepathy, soul blasts, astral plane walking, ghost communicating and hamburgling]]. Mostly hamburgling, though.  His belief that people give a shit about his opinions and his mystifying ability to predict disasters after they occur make her a dangerous, albeit prime [[lolcow]].


{{youtube2|VampiricSpektor|VampiricSpektor}} videos can be broken down into three genres: videos explaining why [[fact|Michael-Kun's vibrant bisexuality and black magic is, like, totally kosher in God's eyes]]; videos insisting that he's [[bullshit|lost at least twenty pounds]]; videos demanding $5,000 be sent back to him from Nolan-Kun (his heroin-addicted boyfriend). Occasionally there is a fourth category of video, wherein he insists this is the last video, quickly followed by another video fitting into the first three categories. While VampiricSpektor has the body of an [[chris-chan|autistic african mammy]], he has the heart and cognitive function of a 16 year old, demanding not to be made fun of, frequently using super-awesome [[japanophile|emoticons ^_^]] while browsing [[gay|hip]] new [[twilight]] and [[naruto]] merchandise. However, what lies under the greasy cocoon of boiled skin lies the "daemon inside of [me]" as verified by Nolan-Kun.
{{yt|cu|VampiricSpektor|VampiricSpektor}} Videos can be broken down into three genres: videos explaining why [[fact|Michael-Kun's vibrant bisexuality and Satanic magic is, like, totally kosher in God's eyes]]; videos insisting that he's [[bullshit|lost at least twenty pounds]]; and videos demanding $5,000 be sent back to him from Nolan-Kun (his heroin-addicted boyfriend). Occasionally there is a fourth category of video, wherein he insists this is the last video, quickly followed by another video fitting into the first three categories. While VampiricSpektor has the body of an [[chris-chan|trisomy-ridden African mammy]], he has the heart and cognitive function of a 15 year old, demanding not to be made fun of, frequently using super-awesome [[japanophile|emoticons ^_^]] while browsing [[gay|hip]] new [[Twilight]] and [[Naruto]] merchandise. However, what lies under that greasy hide of rehydrated pork rinds is the "daemon inside of [me]" as verified by Nolan-Kun.


Recently, after the Malcurian made its first V-LOG attack Michael swiftly responded by "cursing [my] webcam" insisting that "I don't even need DNA to curse." Clearly, VampiricSpektor's threats should be taken very seriously as Nolan-Kun can attest to. Despite being completely out of touch with reality Michael-Kun is surprisingly in touch with current internet trends such as making youtube V-LOGS, tweeting predictions, and being trolled.<br>
Recently, after the Malcurian made its first V-LOG attack, Michael swiftly responded by "cursing [my] webcam" insisting that "I don't even need DNA to curse." Clearly, VampiricSpektor's threats should be taken very seriously, to which Nolan-Kun can attest . Despite being completely out of touch with reality, Michael-Kun is surprisingly in touch with current internet trends such as making youtube V-LOGS, tweeting predictions, and being trolled.<br>
<br>
<br>


{{quote|I have been acused [sic] of a lot of shit in my life and being a [[Dipshit|pedifile]] [sic] is one of them ..... i can be very evil if i want to be."|Michael-Kun|2-11-10|Seemingly admitting to being an evil pedifile}}
{{quote|I have been {{sic|acused|accused}} of a lot of shit in my life and being a {{sic|[[Dipshit|pedifile]]|pedophile}} is one of them ..... i can be very evil if i want to be."|Michael-Kun|2-11-10|Seemingly admitting to being an evil pedifile}}
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==Notable Predictions==
== Notable Predictions==
 
{{center|
{{morphquote|vspredictions|background-color: transparent; width: 700px; height: 250px;|font-weight: normal;
|you guys wont find me
|Michael-Kun


<center>
|You guys don't do shit...and I can [[LSD|see things before they happen]].
|Michael-Kun on 2-20-10


{{morphquote|vspredictions|background-color: transparent; width: 700px; height: 250px;|font-weight: normal;
|I don't like to write my predictions down on paper. [[Duh|That's right, I'm a psychic that is wrong, ninety-nine, uh.. fifty out of fifty times, because just like the weather, the future can change.]]
|you guys wont find me|Michael-Kun
|[[Retard|Michael-Kun]]
|You guys don't do shit...and I can [[LSD|see things before they happen]].|Michael-Kun on 2-20-10
 
|I don't like to write my predictions down on paper. [[Duh|That's right, I'm a psychic that is wrong, ninety-nine, uh.. fifty out of fifty times, because just like the weather, the future can change.]]|[[retard|Michael-Kun]]
|I foresaw everything happening...it's going according to what I've seen. The trolls, the 4chan, the Anons, the...the harassment...
|I foresaw everything happening...it's going according to what I've seen. The trolls, the 4chan, the Anons, the...the harassment...|Michael, explaining that he doesn't [[I See What You Did There|head]] the warnings
|Michael, explaining that he doesn't [[I See What You Did There|head]] the warnings
|As I had foreseen in a dream, I got played like a fiddle!|[http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/people_and_blogs/watch/v19988493Mg2CtjTT Michael dreams of trolls.]}}</center>
 
|As I had foreseen in a dream, I got played like a fiddle!
|[http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/people_and_blogs/watch/v19988493Mg2CtjTT Michael dreams of trolls.]}}
}}


==== A [[Lie|Brief]] History of Morbid Obesity ====


====A [[Lie|Brief]] History of Morbid Obesity====
Vampiricspektor has always been a fantastic liar on the Internet. That's right, the Internet; back when it was "surfed" and the "I" was capitalized and stood for [[serious fucking business]]. During the 56k and DSL days, a teenaged VS frequented Christian Teens:1, Goth Chat:1, and Gay Bi & Lesbian Teens:1 on Yahoo chat. There, he was a source of endless amusement to his fellow housebound losers. Although he claims to have discovered his psychic powers during this time, this link: [http://www.voy.com/138393/3/] evidences an early presence of his tremendous fatness on the web and prove that he was doing the same thing then that he is doing today: lying through his flaccid ass-curtains about his life, which is demonstrably a pathetic open cesspit covered in cheeto dust... and that post is from a forum that references lies he told in the nineties! VS probably thought the infamy he accrued during his days of constantly changing his sexuality, religion, and gang affiliation (he served as a meat shield for the Bloods, who later [[in_the_ass|buttfucked]] him for his trouble - seriously - oh, and he shot someone and then had to join the Crips!) would eventually disappear. He did not count on someone who remembers him sharing these precious memories with ED after stumbling upon his page and having yet another hearty laugh at his expense. VampiricSpektor, AKA, Scoot, Scooter, or The Caped Fatty, will live forever, though I imagine that, sometimes, late at night, he wishes he could hurry up and die.
Vampiricspektor has always been a fantastic liar on the Internet. That's right, the Internet; back when the "I" was capitalized and stood for serious fucking business. During the 56k and DSL days, a teenaged VS frequented Christian Teens:1, Goth Chat:1, and Gay Bi & Lesbian Teens:1 on Yahoo chat. There, he was a source of endless amusement to his fellow housebound losers. Although he claims to have discovered his psychic powers during this time, these two links, this one: [http://stardrops.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=print&thread=41] and this one: [http://www.voy.com/138393/3/] evidence an early presence of his tremendous fatness on the web and prove that he was doing the same thing then that he is doing today: lying through his flaccid ass-curtains about his life, which is definitely a pathetic shitmess covered in cheeto dust... and those posts are from forums that mention lies he told in the nineties! VS probably thought the infamy he accrued during his days of constantly changing his sexuality, religion, and gang affiliation (he served as a meat shield for the Bloods, who later buttfucked him for his trouble - seriously - oh, and he shot someone and then had to join the Crips!) would eventually disappear. He did not count on someone who remembers him sharing these precious memories with ED after stumbling upon his page and having yet another hearty laugh at his expense. VampiricSpektor, AKA, Scoot, Scooter, or The Caped Fatty, will live forever, though I imagine that, sometimes, late at night, he wishes he could hurry up and die.


*Post by VeLtrize on May 12, 2005, 2:34am
* Post by VeLtrize on May 12, 2005, 2:34am


so how did scott find stardrops anyhow?
so how did scott find stardrops anyhow?
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hes fat.
hes fat.


==Health==
== Health ==
 
VampiricSpektor is not a healthy individual in any sense of the word.
VampiricSpektor is not a healthy individual in any sense of the word.


===Mental Health===
=== Mental Health ===
As far as [[lol|mental stability]] goes, Michael-Kun is at a loss. He has convinced himself that he possesses psychic abilities as well as many other magical powers that only he seems to understand or acknowledge to exist. It is possible that he is [[No|merely trolling]] about the "magic" stuff and is actually well in contact with the real world, but the likely explanation considering recent events is that he actually believes these powers exist and any and all incidents in which he experienced anything paranormal would be while under the influence of alcohol or some kind of narcotic drug. The only other explanation is that said powers actually do exist, in which case, we are all fucked... or maybe he is just a batshit insane fat fuck who grows more deluded (and rotund) by the hour.
 
As far as [[lol|mental stability]] goes, Michael-Kun is at a loss. He has convinced himself that he possesses psychic abilities as well as many other magical powers that only he seems to understand or acknowledge to exist. It is possible that he is [[No|merely trolling]] about the "magic" stuff and is actually well in contact with the real world, but the likely explanation considering recent events is that he actually believes these powers exist and any and all incidents in which he experienced anything paranormal would be while under the influence of alcohol or some kind of [[jenkem|narcotic drug]]. The only other explanation is that said powers actually do exist, in which case, we are all fucked... [[fact|or maybe he is just a batshit insane fat fuck hambeast who grows more deluded (and rotund) by the hour]].
 
Another glaring indicator of mental illness is Michael-Kun's anger management. Upon being trolled on the internet, he responded by threatening his enemies with his [[LOLWUT|psychic powers, claiming to have ancestral lineage to demons and such]]. A not-batshit-crazy 31-year-old man would be expected to be able to handle the abuse and continue with his life.


Another sign of mental illness is Michael-Kun's anger management. Upon being trolled on the internet, he responded by threatening his enemies with his [[LOLWUT|psychic powers, claiming to have ancestral lineage to demons and such]]. A not-batshit-crazy 31-year-old man would be expected to be able to handle the abuse and continue with his life.
VampiricSpektor's [[Hungry|loneliness]] has progressed to a point at which he has invented an imaginary boyfriend for himself who he named Nolan-Kun. Although VampiricSpektor mentions him frequently, there has never been any verifiable proof that he exists. It is also apparent that he cannot be joking about his existence. According to Twitter, he waited upwards of 24 days for a package to arrive from him. Michael-Kun has obviously convinced himself that there is such an individual as Nolan-Kun.


VampiricSpektor's [[Hungry|loneliness]] has progressed to a point at which he has invented an imaginary boyfriend for himself who he named Nolan-Kun.  Although VampiricSpektor mentions him frequently, there has never been any proof that he exists.  It is also apparent that he cannot be joking about his existence.  According to Twitter, he waited upwards of 24 days for a package to arrive from him.  Michael-Kun has obviously convinced himself that there is such an individual as Nolan-Kun.
=== Physical Health ===


===Physical Health===
VampiricSpektor's [[obese|physical health]] pretty much reflects his mental health. He has admitted to never leaving his house except in the event of visiting a store for powdered donuts. He frequently smokes and drinks, and the greasiness and overall untidiness of his hair would suggest that showers are a rare occurrence for him. As it is, he is in his early thirties but could easily pass for his mid-forties and definitely even his early fifties.
VampiricSpektor's physical health pretty much reflects his mental health. He has admitted to never leaving his house except in the event of visiting a store, he frequently smokes and drinks, and the greasiness and overall untidiness of his hair would suggest that showers are a rare occurrence for him. As it is, he is in his early thirties but could easily pass for his mid-forties and possibly even his early fifties.


====Obesity====
==== Obesity ====


Michael-Kun's obesity is easily his most obvious and possibly most [[no one cares|life-threatening condition]]. Although he is almost never seen from below the shoulders, we do get a glimpse of his [[Holy shit|lower body]] in the buttdance video, revealing that his muumuu cannot quite cover his entire abdomen (which would leave us to assume that he walks around with his belly showing in public). Considering he is is 5-11 and is, without an argument, obese, he would have to weigh at least 215 pounds at his height to give him a body mass index of 30.0, which is the least one can have to be considered such. However, he is most certainly significantly heavier than this. Glimpses of his body would suggest he is well over 300, probably as much as [[Lolrus|400]]. This is most likely a result of his lifestyle as a [[Basement_dweller|hermit]], as well as frequent consumption of alcohol. It is unknown if he was [[Probably|overweight as a young boy]], but this is also likely. His morbid obesity will most likely kill him before he is 50.
Michael-Kun's obesity is easily his most obvious and possibly most [[no one cares|life-threatening condition]]. Although he is almost never seen from below the shoulders, we do get a glimpse of his [[Holy shit|lower body]] in the buttdance video, revealing that his muumuu cannot quite cover his entire abdomen (which would leave us to assume that he walks around with his belly showing in public). Considering he is is 5-11 and is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, obese, he would have to weigh at least 215 pounds at his height to give him a body mass index of 30.0, which is the least one can have to be considered such. However, he is most certainly significantly heavier than this. Glimpses of his body would suggest he is well over 300, probably as much as [[Lolrus|400]]. This is most likely a result of his lifestyle as a [[Basement_dweller|hermit]], as well as frequent consumption of alcohol and Taco Bell. It is unknown if he was [[Probably|overweight as a young boy]], but this is also likely. His morbid obesity will most likely [[win|kill him before he is 50]].


====The Forehead Lump====
==== The Forehead Lump ====


Michael-Kun claims that the THE CULPRIT is a result of a bruise that definitely happened sometime last week. However, after spewing over two years worth of "content" on YouTube, THE CULPRIT has been there since the start. Either Michael-Kun knocks on doors with his head or has a serious case of the Mondays, every day. Neurologists and trolls alike gather to study the beast's anatomy, and while they are still at the early stages of understanding its <i>more to love!</i> body, significant progress has been made.
Michael-Kun claims that THE CULPRIT is a result of a bruise that definitely happened sometime last week. However, after spewing over two years worth of "content" on YouTube, THE CULPRIT has been there since the start. Either Michael-Kun cracks open walnuts by headbutting or has a serious case of the Mondays, every day. Neurologists and trolls alike gather to study the beast's anatomy, and while they are still at the early stages of understanding its ''more to love!'' body, significant progress has been made.


=====Medical Diagnostic=====
===== Medical Diagnosis =====


A great deal of effort and speculation has gone into identifying the horrendous, sickening, depraved, wretched, vile, despicable, afflicted, miserable and pretty [[gay]] lump festering occipitofrontal cyst adorned so gracefully by Michael-Kun. After a full CT scan with contrast has determined that the lump is <i>thaumaturgy build-up</i>, the blue balls of the magic world. It is caused by a massive build up of magic and miracle in the <i>idiotiums endogland</i>, the magic center of the brain. The only known cure for this disease is death, or <i>That's So Raven!</i> season 1.
A great deal of effort and speculation has gone into identifying the horrendous, sickening, depraved, wretched, vile, repugnant, despicable, afflicted, miserable, repulsive and pretty [[gay]] lump festering occipitofrontal lipoma adorned so gracefully by Michael-Kun. After a full CT scan with contrast, it has determined that the lump is due to ''thaumaturgical build-up'', the blue balls of the magic world. It is caused by a massive build up of fatty magic and miracle in the ''idiotiums endogland'', the magic center of the brain. The only known cure for this disease is death, or ''That's So Raven!'' season 1.


=====Encyclopedia Dramatica Diagnostic=====
===== Encyclopedia Dramatica Diagnosis =====


Holy shit. [[Wtf]] is that thing? FUN FACT: Former schizophrenic nigra song writer [[Wesley Willis]] had a
Holy shit. [[Wtf]] is that thing? FUN FACT: Former schizophrenic nigra song writer [[Wesley Willis]] had a
similar lump/tumor/extra limb emanating from his forehead. We hope VS [[An Hero|ends up exactly like Wesley too]].
similar lump/tumor/extra limb emanating from his forehead. We prey to Eris that VS [[An Hero|ends up exactly like Wesley, too]].
 
== Nolan-Kun, fact or fiction? ==


==Nolan-Kun, fact or fiction?==
The fine authors of this article spent countless hours researching Michael-Kun and all of his obsessions during their off hours from [[art school]]. In nearly every video Michael-Kun, the hambeast claims to be in some sick borderline pedophiliac, but definitely straight (lolwut), relationship with a [[12-year-old boy|supple young boy]] by the name of Nolan-Kun. After searching through his subscribes, comments, his twitter page where Michael-Kun clearly says he reads Nolan-Kun's tweets, there is no evidence of Nolan-Kun existing. Specifically, his twitter page which contains only six [[Sockpuppet|followers]] show no evidence what so ever of anyone fitting Nolan-Kun's description. What is this, I don't even...


The fine authors of this article spent countless hours researching Michael-Kun and all of his obsessions during their off hours from [[art school]]. In nearly every video Michael-Kun, the hambeast, claims to be in some sick borderline pedophiliac, but definitely straight (lolwut), relationship with a [[12-year-old boy|supple young boy]] by the name of Nolan-Kun. After searching through his subscribes, comments, his twitter page where Michael-Kun clearly says he reads Nolan-Kun's tweets, there is no evidence of Nolan-Kun existing. Specifically, his twitter page which contains only six [[Sockpuppet|followers]] show no evidence what so ever of anyone fitting Nolan-Kun's description. What is this, I don't even<br>
<br>
Tweet's regarding Nolan-Kun:
Tweet's regarding Nolan-Kun:
*lolz...had a video conversation with Theo and Tyler...Theo's hawt! but nolans hotter xD omg i hate pain :(
*tch, reading nolan-kuns tweets make me feel sorry for his habits...ugh :P
*Just Recently Heard Nolan-kun got arrested while tweaking on meth...gawd and reading his twitter means tyler was lying -.-
*ah heh, i wish nolan-kun would call me...srsly...i cant text him anymore or him text me because my father is an absolute fucktard
<b>EXTREME LULZ, [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|Michael-Kun's dad pays for his phone.]] He is 31 years old.</b>
*Currently at a loss for words on nolan-kuns email to me...i dont know weither to blush or laugh out loud xD
*so nolans single now? great to know! lol
*aww nolan-kuns so cute when he speaks to me, its almost an orgasm in mono-tone XD
*oh holy shit, nolan-kuns tweets are so cute, im so hot for him i just wanna jack off on webcam and send it to him VIA email...however, icant (<b>Can't find your penis?</b>)<br>
<br>
A sexy, single, romantic, compassionate, hotter than any other VIDEO WEB FRIENDS, erotic guy with a meth addiction? Sounds too good to be true! Or is he? Not all is chipper-dandy with Nolan-Kun, as these tweets signify:<br>
*im fucked now, this is day number 5 and no package from nolan-kun :( im getting upset >.<
*im getting tired of waiting for nolan-kuns package to me....:( its been 6 fracking days! ffs!
*wasted another 4 hours downstairs waiting for a the surprise package that nolan sent me, didnt come today...ugh :( next time 1st class pl0x!
*i see no fans have sent me monies in paypal...come on dudes..nolans package FAILS lol xD
*tryin to talk to nolan-kun on facebook but he just ignores meh..what teh hell eh heh :(
*still no package...-.- 
*bored, still waiting for nolan-kuns package...no dice :(
*still waiting for nolan-kuns package...its been 24 days and at this point i might as well give up -.-<br>
<br>
Perhaps Nolan-Kun is having difficulty using the mail system due to the fact he is about as real as Michael-Kun's [[Penis|black magic]] and the government doesn't discriminates against man-baby imaginary characters. Still in the case that Nolan-Kun <i>is</i> real, holy shit man, holy shit. You'd send nudes to that Goliath online!


==Remixed==
* lolz...had a video conversation with Theo and Tyler...Theo's hawt! but nolans hotter xD omg i hate pain :(
<center>
* tch, reading nolan-kuns tweets make me feel sorry for his habits...ugh :P
* Just Recently Heard Nolan-kun got arrested while tweaking on meth...gawd and reading his twitter means tyler was lying -.-
* ah heh, i wish nolan-kun would call me...srsly...i cant text him anymore or him text me because my father is an absolute fucktard
'''EXTREME LULZ, [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|Michael-Kun's dad pays for his phone.]] He is 31 years old.'''
* Currently at a loss for words on nolan-kuns email to me...i dont know weither to blush or laugh out loud xD
* so nolans single now? great to know! lol
* aww nolan-kuns so cute when he speaks to me, its almost an orgasm in mono-tone XD
* oh holy shit, nolan-kuns tweets are so cute, im so hot for him i just wanna jack off on webcam and send it to him VIA email...however, icant ('''Can't find your penis?''')
 
A sexy, single, romantic, compassionate, hotter than any other VIDEO WEB FRIENDS, erotic guy with a meth addiction? Sounds too good to be true! Or is he? Not all is chipper-dandy with Nolan-Kun, as these tweets signify:
 
* im fucked now, this is day number 5 and no package from nolan-kun :( im getting upset >.<
* im getting tired of waiting for nolan-kuns package to me....:( its been 6 fracking days! ffs!
* wasted another 4 hours downstairs waiting for a the surprise package that nolan sent me, didnt come today...ugh :( next time 1st class pl0x!
* i see no fans have sent me monies in paypal...come on dudes..nolans package FAILS lol xD
* tryin to talk to nolan-kun on facebook but he just ignores meh..what teh hell eh heh :(
* still no package...-.-
* bored, still waiting for nolan-kuns package...no dice :(
* still waiting for nolan-kuns package...its been 24 days and at this point i might as well give up -.-
 
Perhaps Nolan-Kun is having difficulty using the mail system due to the fact he is about as corporeal as Michael-Kun's [[Penis|black magic]] and the government doesn't discriminate against man-baby imaginary characters. Still, in the unlikely event that Nolan-Kun ''is'' real, holy shit man, holy shit. You'd send nudes to that Goliath online!
 
== Remixed ==
 
{{center|
{{frame|{{fv|RemixVideos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|  
{{frame|{{fv|RemixVideos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|  
<youtube>EDSWDp_zkAw</youtube>}}|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
<youtube>EDSWDp_zkAw</youtube>}}|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
</center>
}}


==The Malcurian==
== The Malcurian ==


{{quote|There is someone weird... imposterising [sic] me.|[[fag|Michael-Kun]]}}<br>
{{quote|There is someone weird... {{sic|imposterising}} me.
|[[Fag|Michael-Kun]]}}<br>


{{frame|<center><youtube>zmlFA5CEXso</youtube></center><br>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{center|
{{frame|<youtube>zmlFA5CEXso</youtube>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
}}


From the shadows came The Malcurian to "cause capital chaos" against Michael-Kun. Although his origin is [[no one cares|unknown]] it is widely assumed that The Malcurian is a [[cum|by-product]] of Michael-Kun's skilled [[penis|black-magyicks]]. The [[obvious|clever]] tags in The Malcurian's [[youtube]] V-LOGS ensure that when someone searched for Michael-Kun's videos Malcurian's V-LOG come up. Alerted by [[fail]] and defamation of character Michael-Kun became obsessed with the Malcurian, sparking the great magical e-war which still rages today. In the battle of student vs [[retard|teacher]], Michael-Kun has announced that he will not submit to cybercrime and e-bullying despite already deleting every single one of his video's once due to The Malcurian infestation, and due to Nolan-Kun owing him $15<br>
From the shadows came The Malcurian to "cause capital chaos" against Michael-Kun. Although his origin is [[no one cares|unknown]] it is widely assumed that The Malcurian is a [[shit|by-product]] of Michael-Kun's skilled [[anus|black-magyicks]]. The [[obvious|clever]] tags in The Malcurian's [[youtube]] V-LOGS ensure that when someone searched for Michael-Kun's videos Malcurian's V-LOG come up. Alerted by [[fail]] and defamation of character, Michael-Kun became obsessed with the Malcurian, sparking the great magical e-war which still rages today. In the battle of student vs [[retard|teacher]], Michael-Kun has announced that he will not submit to cybercrime and e-bullying despite already deleting every single one of his video's once due to The Malcurian infestation, and due to Nolan-Kun owing him $15<br>


{{quote|The Quadratic Formula has ruptured and expired causing the Malcurian to begin to decrypt information regarding the user "VampiricSpektor". This unstable stream of data will cause infrequiencies within the YouTube feed as well as anomalies within the Malcurians place of residence. This VLOG entry has been carefully crafted to cause capital chaos. PLEASE WATCH AS THIS VLOG SYSTEM EXPLAINS SOURCE CODES OF MALCURIAN AND MAY BE USED TO ASSIST WITH THE EFFORT TO SYNCHRONIZE WITH VAMPIRICSPEKTORS OCCULT MOTIVES.|[[omg|The Malcurian - WHAT THE FUCK?!?]]}}
{{quote|The Quadratic Formula has ruptured and expired causing the Malcurian to begin to decrypt information regarding the user "VampiricSpektor". This unstable stream of data will cause infrequiencies within the YouTube feed as well as anomalies within the Malcurians place of residence. This VLOG entry has been carefully crafted to cause capital chaos. PLEASE WATCH AS THIS VLOG SYSTEM EXPLAINS SOURCE CODES OF MALCURIAN AND MAY BE USED TO ASSIST WITH THE EFFORT TO SYNCHRONIZE WITH VAMPIRICSPEKTORS OCCULT MOTIVES.|[[omg|The Malcurian - WHAT THE FUCK?!?]]}}


{{frame|<center><youtube>GWkXchFvN5I</youtube></center><br>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{center|
{{frame|<youtube>GWkXchFvN5I</youtube>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
}}


==War against the Malcurian==
== War against the Malcurian ==


The time was prime to put an end to the ultimate life form [[Sonic_The_Hedgehog|The Malcurian]]. After making a video asking the identity of The Malcurian, Michael-Kun erased all of his videos committing the ultimate youtube sepukku. Days later he returned to the youtube with a slew of new videos stating both that he was here to stay, and he would find WHO IS THE MALCURIAN ONCE AND FOR ALL.<br>
The time was prime to put an end to the ultimate life form [[Sonic_The_Hedgehog|The Malcurian]]. After making a video asking the identity of The Malcurian, Michael-Kun erased all of his videos committing the ultimate youtube sepukku. Days later he returned to the youtube with a slew of new videos stating both that he was here to stay, and he would find WHO IS THE MALCURIAN ONCE AND FOR ALL.<br>


{{frame|<center><youtube>Nu8svArsOVc</youtube></center><br>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{center|
{{frame|<youtube>Nu8svArsOVc</youtube>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
}}


===VampiricSpektor goes Apeshit===
=== VampiricSpektor goes Apeshit ===


{{frame|<center><youtube>CRvXNYzUmCQ</youtube></center>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{center|
{{frame|<youtube>CRvXNYzUmCQ</youtube>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
}}


After the recent Malcurian Video, Scott Palmer went absolutely batshit insane, compiling [[over 9000]] response videos demanding to know the identity of The Malcurian (who he believes attempted to run him over with car), inflicting various curses on innocent bystanders, and other hilarious retaliations. He became so obsessed that VampiricSpektor created three to four videos in per day. And this was <b>BEFORE</b> he found the EncyclopediaDramatica article. Shit was going on now, motherfuckers. Apparently a spy secreted all of his information onto the shitstorm EncyclopediaDramatica. There was only one solution: [[FBI]]. Convinced that The Malcurian is someone named "Ashon", he pursued other helpless targets in his rage path, allowing The Malcurian time to craft it's next V-LOG update. It has promised one soon, as well as issuing a public statement to VampiricSpektor:<br>
After the recent Malcurian Video, Scott Palmer went absolutely batshit insane, compiling [[over 9000]] response videos demanding to know the identity of The Malcurian (who he believes attempted to run him over with car), inflicting various curses on innocent bystanders, and other hilarious retaliations. He became so obsessed that VampiricSpektor created three to four videos per day; and this was '''BEFORE''' he found the EncyclopediaDramatica article. Shit was going ''down'' now, motherfuckers. Apparently a spy secreted all of his information onto the shitstorm EncyclopediaDramatica. There was only one solution: [[FBI]]. Convinced that The Malcurian is someone named "Ashon", he pursued other helpless targets in his rage path, allowing The Malcurian time to craft it's next V-LOG update. It has promised one soon, as well as issuing a public statement to VampiricSpektor:<br>


{{quote|PERHAPS YOU ARE MISINFORMED FRIEND. MALCURIAN IS TRUTH, ASHON IS A CORRUPTION OF INDENTIY. MALCURIAN HAS QUITE A SURPRISE FOR YOU UNLESS YOU CONFORM TO MALCURIAN SYSTEM STABILIZATION. YOU HAVE 4 DAYS BEFORE MALCURIAN RUPTURES THE TRUTH. YOU WILL FAILS. |[[omg|The Malcurian]]}}
{{quote|PERHAPS YOU ARE MISINFORMED FRIEND. MALCURIAN IS TRUTH, ASHON IS A CORRUPTION OF INDENTIY. MALCURIAN HAS QUITE A SURPRISE FOR YOU UNLESS YOU CONFORM TO MALCURIAN SYSTEM STABILIZATION. YOU HAVE 4 DAYS BEFORE MALCURIAN RUPTURES THE TRUTH. YOU WILL FAILS. |[[omg|The Malcurian]]}}


<center>BREAKING NEWS: THE MALCURIAN IS {{youtube2|KnownTK|ALEX "ROMANTIC" TEMPLE}}</center>
<center>BREAKING NEWS: THE MALCURIAN IS {{yt|cu|KnownTK|ALEX "ROMANTIC" TEMPLE}}</center>
 
== VampiricSpektor Goes To War With Encyclopedia Dramatica ==
 
{{center|
{{morphquote|mq1|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|If I have to I'll get the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] hacked. You stupid motherfucking shits.
|VampiricSpektor: he's going to hax us
 
|This is exactly the kind of attention I didn't need. All negative.
|VampiricSpektor thinking there's a positive to being a 500 pound gay guy that doesn't bathe.
 
|Guys we have won a great victory...my brother and i and my dad joined together and deleted EVERY peice of information on every site that the malcurian and Murkyurine have been on....my mission was too Delete and destroy Encyclopediadramaticas page about me...but it came with great cost....i made myself a target for hackers....Trust me...that page has been manipulated and distorted with all sorts of Codes my Friend Steve gave me...its gonna keep them occupied kekekekekekekeke XD
|{{yt|cu|VampiricSpektor|VampiricSpektor}} after [[BLANKING IN PROGRESS|blanking]] this page.
 
|lets get one thing str8 here! IM NOT A FUCKING GIRL! im a guy!? Furthur more....one word from me to the those i have contacts with...and youtube and encyclopediadramatica are goin permanently OFFLINE! this is yer last warning! xD.
|OH SNAP
 
|how the fuck do you know what my moms name is?
|OH SHIIIIII
 
|Dangle, i dont get what yer beef is...what you are doing is slander against the law not to mention an invasion of the internet privacy act of 2008! Cease and Decist! you have 5 days to comply or i will take this worldwide...dont think im gonna do it? i will...and when i get yer information i will give it to the cyber crimes division of the FBI and my local police force! YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG PERSON BITCH! see unlike other people you troll! THIS VICTIM HAS BITE!
|Vampiricspektor Intenets lawyer.
 
|Hey douchenozzle, i know yer name but i wont say cause unlike you i RESPECT peoples rights to privacy! and now that you have openly admitted too Making Clones to harrass me, youtube will be even more glad to take this one step furthur and that is banning yer IP address! look all i want is my family left out of this! fucking coward
|{{ytlink|ZVCSX2fG3VI|Michael}}


==VampiricSpektor Goes To War With Encyclopedia Dramatica==
|wait...im just wondering why you guys hide behind the first amendmant i've always wondered that
|Vampiricspektor, directed towards ED.


<center>{{morphquote|mq1|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|they will not remove the page because of the 1st Amendment...FUCK THE FIRST AMENDMENT, for fucks sakes...i want them to remove the page because its the right thing to do! and im not the one butthurt here....
|If I have to I'll get the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] hacked. You stupid motherfucking shits.|VampiricSpektor: he's going to hax us
|
|This is exactly the kind of attention I didn't need. All negative.|VampiricSpektor thinking there's a positive to being a 500 pound gay guy that doesn't bathe.
|color=white}}
|Guys we have won a great victory...my brother and i and my dad joined together and deleted EVERY peice of information on every site that the malcurian and Murkyurine have been on....my mission was too Delete and destroy Encyclopediadramaticas page about me...but it came with great cost....i made myself a target for hackers....Trust me...that page has been manipulated and distorted with all sorts of Codes my Friend Steve gave me...its gonna keep them occupied kekekekekekekeke XD|{{youtube2|VampiricSpektor|VampiricSpektor}} after [[BLANKING IN PROGRESS|blanking]] this page.|lets get one thing str8 here! IM NOT A FUCKING GIRL! im a guy!? Furthur more....one word from me to the those i have contacts with...and youtube and encyclopediadramatica are goin permanently OFFLINE! this is yer last warning! xD.|OH SNAP|how the fuck do you know what my moms name is?| OH SHIIIIII |Dangle, i dont get what yer beef is...what you are doing is slander against the law not to mention an invasion of the internet privacy act of 2008! Cease and Decist! you have 5 days to comply or i will take this worldwide...dont think im gonna do it? i will...and when i get yer information i will give it to the cyber crimes division of the FBI and my local police force! YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG PERSON BITCH! see unlike other people you troll! THIS VICTIM HAS BITE!|Vampiricspektor Intenets lawyer.|Hey douchenozzle, i know yer name but i wont say cause unlike you i RESPECT peoples rights to privacy! and now that you have openly admitted too Making Clones to harrass me, youtube will be even more glad to take this one step furthur and that is banning yer IP address! look all i want is my family left out of this! fucking coward|Michael - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVCSX2fG3VI]||wait...im just wondering why you guys hide behind the first amendmant i've always wondered that|Vampiricspektor, directed towards ED.| they will not remove the page because of the 1st Amendment...FUCK THE FIRST AMENDMENT, for fucks sakes...i want them to remove the page because its the right thing to do! and im not the one butthurt here....|
}}
|color=white}}</center><br>


VampiricSpektor was butthurt, and needed a man to target. Appropriately he came after Alex "[[Romantic]]" Temple with a rage in his belly rivaling the build up of rage in his forehead. Sending out his greatest minions and hackers, he managed to defile the [[Lulzcast|www.LulzcastPodcast.com]] webpage causing great [[apathy|pain]] for [[Romantic]].
VampiricSpektor was terminally butthurt, and needed a man to target. Appropriately he came after Alex "[[Romantic]]" Temple with a rage in his belly rivaling the build up of rage in his forehead. Sending out his greatest minions and hackers, he managed to defile the [[Lulzcast|www.LulzcastPodcast.com]] webpage causing great [[apathy|pain]] for [[Romantic]].


It became apparent that victory from his battles with Encyclopedia Dramatica, while a delusion, was on his side. Alarmed by his merciless banter of [[serious business]] and dedication to hacking Encyclopedia Dramatica's webpage using super awesome secret codes he probably got through Tim's Java Tutorials and Support! page, Romantic decided it was time to enter into negotiations so that [[nothing of value|everything]] was not lost.
It became apparent that victory from his battles with Encyclopedia Dramatica, while a delusion, was on his side. Alarmed by his merciless banter of [[serious business]] and dedication to hacking Encyclopedia Dramatica's webpage using super awesome secret codes he probably got through Tim's Java Tutorials and Support! page, Romantic decided it was time to enter into negotiations so that [[nothing of value|everything]] was not lost.
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{{frame|<center><youtube>ayqI-pWBh9g</youtube></center>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{frame|<center><youtube>ayqI-pWBh9g</youtube></center>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}


==VampiricButthurt Issues Moar Pointless Threats==
== VampiricButthurt Issues Moar Pointless Threats==


{{squote|@Kessador sadly if i posted pics of the gratuitious violence on youtube i'd be flagged for it...so...sorry! yer gonna have to take my word for it! XD|[[retard|Vampiricsphinctor on how insanely fucking badass he is at kicking people's fucking asses]]}}
{{squote|@Kessador sadly if i posted pics of the gratuitious violence on youtube i'd be flagged for it...so...sorry! yer gonna have to take my word for it! XD|[[retard|Vampiricsphinctor on how insanely fucking badass he is at kicking people's fucking asses]]}}


On 3/15/2010, VampiricSpektor issued moar threats[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOO3dJghQHo] against ED. He claims something about an Ultimatum, although it was not really clear what he meant because he is an [[asspie]]. He also stated that ED will be taken down in 48 hours and that his super [[1337]] H4KK0R friends will help him destroy ED once and for all. There was also some freedom of speech ranting and other random bullshit that had nothing to do with anything. He warned ED about the coming Butthurt Apocalypse that is coming from his magic spells and hacker friends. Despite the fact that he's said this shit [[over 9000]] times already, he [[lie|is actually going to follow through with it this time]].
{{ytlink|TOO3dJghQHo|On 3/15/2010, VampiricSpektor issued moar threats against ED.}} He claims something about an Ultimatum, although it was not really clear what he meant because he is an [[asspie]]. He also stated that ED will be taken down in 48 hours and that his super [[1337]] H4KK0R friends will help him destroy ED once and for all. There was also some freedom of speech ranting and other random bullshit that had nothing to do with anything. He warned ED about the coming Butthurt Ragnarok that is coming from his magic spells and hacker friends. Despite the fact that he's said this shit [[over 9000]] times already, he [[lie|is actually going to follow through with it this time]].


In order to wage war against ED, VampiricSpektor decided to upload a bunch of videos stating that he had done various terrible things to members of ED's community, like [[lolwut|having "Snaisybelle Dramatica" arrested]], and viciously attacking members of the [[EDSingers]]. Of course, anyone with half a brain knows that they were groped by his ~psychic powers.~
In order to wage war against ED, VampiricSpektor decided to upload a bunch of videos stating that he had done various terrible things to members of ED's community, like [[lolwut|having "Snaisybelle Dramatica" arrested]], and viciously attacking members of the [[EDSingers]]. Of course, anyone with a functioning neuron knows that they were groped by his ~psychic powers.~
To read about Snaisybelle's defeat at the hands of the merciless VampiricSpektor, click [[User:Snaisybelle|here.]]
To read about Snaisybelle's defeat at the hands of the merciless VampiricSpektor, click [[User:Snaisybelle|here.]]


Line 164: Line 215:
{{frame|<video type="veoh" id="v19977619r7GbEbFz" width="200" height="200" desc="This is FINALLY a checkmate i have won" frame="true" position="center"/>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{frame|<video type="veoh" id="v19977619r7GbEbFz" width="200" height="200" desc="This is FINALLY a checkmate i have won" frame="true" position="center"/>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}


<center>Damn. He's won. Time to pack up guys-- Oh wait, [[fail|page is still up]].</center>


<center> Damn. He's won. Time to pack up guys-- Oh wait, page is still up.</center>
== Buttdance! ==


==Buttdance!==
[http://www.liveleak.com/item?a=view&token=752_1269045414 March 20, 2010] Alex "Romantic" Temple revealed the long held buttdance video in return for VS breaking his word by making a {{youtube|FjfHW26Mdis|checkmate video}}. It was [[Main Page]]d for maximum shoutiez and horror.
[http://www.liveleak.com/item?a=view&token=752_1269045414 March 20, 2010] Alex "Romantic" Temple revealed the long held buttdance video in return for VS breaking his word by making a {{youtube|FjfHW26Mdis|checkmate video}}. It was [[Main Page]]d for major shoutiez and horror.


<br>
<br>
{{frame|<video type="liveleak" id="752_1269045414" width="200" height="200" desc="" frame="false" position="center"/>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{frame|<video type="liveleak" id="752_1269045414" width="200" height="200" desc="" frame="false" position="center"/>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}


==Gone but Not Forgotten==
== Gone but Not Forgotten ==
As of approximately 11:20 PM, after releasing a string of videos on March 22, his account has been closed. Delicious mirrors exists if you missed  it!


As of approximately 11:20 PM, after releasing a string of videos on March 22, his account has been closed. Delicious mirrors exists if you missed it!


'''Just kidding'''. The trolls of the internet thought they [[The_game|had won]] after his final, teary-eyed video, but this was in fact an elaborate ruse. <b>Maniacal Cackle!</b> The stakes have certainly been upped, as he is now threatening to hold this page for ransom:
'''Just kidding'''. The trolls of the internet thought they [[The_game|had won]] after his final, teary-eyed video, but this was in fact an elaborate ruse. '''Maniacal Cackle!''' The stakes have certainly been upped, as he is now threatening to hold this page for ransom:


{{frame|<video type="veoh" id="v199776647Z8ePaKf" width="200" height="200" desc="You think you won? Ha!" frame="true" position="center"/>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{frame|<video type="veoh" id="v199776647Z8ePaKf" width="200" height="200" desc="You think you won? Ha!" frame="true" position="center"/>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
<center>'''Fun fact''': In this [[shit|hit]] video, notice how the pixel format of the movie seems to highlight the one remaining fang.</center>
<center>'''Fun fact''': In this [[shit|hit]] video, notice how the pixel format of the movie seems to highlight the one remaining fang.</center>


In a later video, he declares that there is no other alternative other than to [[Lol_wut| collect 1 million signatures from the Supreme Court so that the Australian government will take down ED]] as shown here:
In a later video, he declares that there is no other alternative other than to [[Lol_wut|collect 1 million signatures from the Supreme Court so that the Australian government will take down ED]] as shown here:


{{frame|<video type="veoh" id="v19977673XCZfG6rx" width="200" height="200" desc="This isn't about Freedom of Speech anymore! its about doing the right thing" frame="true" position="center"/>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{frame|<video type="veoh" id="v19977673XCZfG6rx" width="200" height="200" desc="This isn't about Freedom of Speech anymore! its about doing the right thing" frame="true" position="center"/>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}


HOWEVER, he has just deleted ALL his videos AGAIN, after one of his works of [[Shit|art]] had been flagged by the community, who are probably just tired of his endless bitching and moaning, because nobody [[Shit nobody cares about|gives a fuck]] about his life or anything in it.


HOWEVER, he has just deleted ALL his videos AGAIN, after one of his works of [[Shit|art]] had been flagged by the community, who are probably just tired of his bitching and moaning, because nobody [[Shit nobody cares about|gives a fuck]] about his life.
{{quote|If I was in court right now, talking about it, I would say to the judge, [[Shut up judge|'Fuck your goddamn first amendment and do the fucking right thing!']]
|VS, on how to win a court case}}


{{quote|If I was in court right now, talking about it, I would say to the judge, [[Shut up judge|'Fuck your goddamn first amendment and do the fucking right thing!']]|VS, on how to win a court case}}
== VS and the Skype Squad ==


==VS and the Skype Squad==
One day, VS gave out all of his phone number via a video with the exception of the last number. He seemed to not realize there were only about 10 digits it could be. This being so, the EDiots with [[Skype]] decided to go for the troll.
One day, VS gave out all of his phone number via a video with the exception of the last number. He seemed to not realize there were only about 10 digits it could be. This being so, the EDiots with [[Skype]] decided to go for the troll.


'''Original Calls'''<br>
'''Original Calls'''
 
In the original phone calls with VS, the following occurs:
In the original phone calls with VS, the following occurs:
*Tries to claim ED didn't stick to it's word when it took down his parent's dox.
*Says the Raiders will be in the Super Bowl 2027, yet later says he can't see beyond 12/21/2012.
*Says God spoke to him and gave him his psychic ability.
*Claims Cassandra (EDS1) was arrested.
*etc. (The download to these calls is in "External Links" along with the other Skype calls)


'''Cassandra'''<br>
* Tries to claim ED didn't stick to its word when it took down his parent's dox.
One day, our beloved [[EDSingers]] uploaded a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8fzs67dO5Q song about VS] that was loved through out the net. VS discovered this [[beautiful]] song and falsely flagged the video and had it taken down. Over Skype, a distraught girl named Cassandra (AKA EDS1) called VS and told him how she was [[emo|saddened and would hurt herself]] because of the tragedy he had committed.  
* Says the Raiders will be in the Super Bowl 2027, yet later says he can't see beyond 12/21/2012.
* Says God spoke to him and gave him his [[AIDS|psychic ability]].
* Claims Cassandra (EDS1) was arrested.
* etc. (The download to these calls is in "External Links" along with the other Skype calls)
 
'''Cassandra'''
 
One day, our beloved [[EDSingers]] uploaded a {{ytlink|-8fzs67dO5Q|song about VS}} that was loved through out the net. VS discovered this [[beautiful]] song and falsely flagged the video and had it taken down. Over Skype, a distraught girl named Cassandra (AKA EDS1) called VS and told him how she was [[emo|saddened and would hurt herself]] because of the tragedy he had committed.  
 
{{center|
{{morphquote|EDS1VS|background-color: transparent; width: 700px; height: 250px;|font-weight: normal;
|DID YOU NOT LIKE YOUR SONG VAMPIRICSPEKTOR?
|An Upset Cassandra
 
|You forgot?! And you're psychic?!
|Cassandra
 
|No, I got in trouble with Youtube
|Cassandra, while starting to cry
 
|CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN!
|VS freaking out.
 
|Are you a pedophile?
|Cassandra's Mother.
 
|His name's Vampire something. He's a fucking Vampire!
|Cassandra's Father.
 
|A fucking devil pedophile...
|Father Knows Best.
 
|Somebody is telling your daughter lies!
|VS saving face with mom and dad.
 
|Encyclopedia Dramatica is a site geared towards pedophilia and a bunch of other crap.
|VS blaming ED.
 
|I want to touch your body.
|It turns out Cassandra is blind.}}
}}


<center>{{morphquote|EDS1VS|background-color: transparent; width: 700px; height: 250px;|font-weight: normal;|DID YOU NOT LIKE YOUR SONG VAMPIRICSPEKTOR?|An Upset Cassandra|You forgot?! And you're psychic?!|Cassandra|No, I got in trouble with Youtube|Cassandra, while starting to cry|CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN!|VS freaking out.|Are you a pedophile?|Cassandra's Mother.|His name's Vampire something. He's a fucking Vampire!|Cassandra's Father.|A fucking devil pedophile...|Father Knows Best.|Somebody is telling your daughter lies!|VS saving face with mom and dad.|Encyclopedia Dramatica is a site geared towards pedophilia and a bunch of other crap.|VS blaming ED.|I want to touch your body.|It turns out Cassandra is blind.}}</center>
'''Ooples/Clyde Cash'''


'''Ooples/Clyde Cash'''<br>
One day, at the realization that he was fighting a lost war, VS decided to make fake propaganda about the [http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/people_and_blogs/watch/v19979963GSCcqhSp secret ED Admin named Ooples being arrested]. When the EDiots on Skype caught wind of this news, the initial reply was [[lolwut|"Who the fuck is Ooples?"]] At this point, they had the brilliant idea of having VS's lies bite him in the tankass and tell him that Ooples's was real, his real name was [[Clyde Cash]], that he used to hunt Bosnian war criminals, and that he was coming to get revenge while Skyping with VS.  
One day, at the realization that he was fighting a lost war, VS decided to make fake propaganda about the [http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/people_and_blogs/watch/v19979963GSCcqhSp secret ED Admin named Ooples being arrested]. When the EDiots on Skype caught wind of this news, the initial reply was [[lolwut|"Who the fuck is Ooples?"]] At this point, they had the brilliant idea of having VS's lies bite him in the ass and tell him that Ooples's was real, his real name was [[Clyde Cash]], that he used to hunt Bosnian war criminals, and that he was coming to get revenge while Skyping with VS.  


The following IRC/Skype logs were shown to VS:
The following IRC/Skype logs were shown to VS:


<center>{{Bigtext|<Knots> Clyde_Cash: how the fuck are you on IRC I thought you got arrested<br>
{{center|
{{Bigtext|<Knots> Clyde_Cash: how the fuck are you on IRC I thought you got arrested<br>
<Clyde_Cash> i did. knots i can't fucking explain this shit to you right now<br>
<Clyde_Cash> i did. knots i can't fucking explain this shit to you right now<br>
<Clyde_Cash> but i know who fucking did this<br>
<Clyde_Cash> but i know who fucking did this<br>
Line 231: Line 319:
[3/29/2010 2:44:18 AM] Dr_Rice: He is angry that you got him arrested<br>
[3/29/2010 2:44:18 AM] Dr_Rice: He is angry that you got him arrested<br>
[3/29/2010 2:44:31 AM] Dr_Rice: That is what he thinks you did<br>
[3/29/2010 2:44:31 AM] Dr_Rice: That is what he thinks you did<br>
[3/29/2010 2:44:37 AM] Dr_Rice: and he is going to kill you regardless|400|200|He believed this 100%|}}</center>
[3/29/2010 2:44:37 AM] Dr_Rice: and he is going to kill you regardless|400|200|He believed this 100%|}}
}}


One day, for authenticity, the Skype Squad called VS's phone and had someone pose as a [[wigger|angry white guy who says "nigger" a lot]], which was meant to be Ooples/Clyde Cash. After leaving two voice messages on his phone, VS joined the Skype conversation and played these message back for everyone and said that he was scared of Ooples, whom he actually claimed to be a black person. After VS left, Skype Squad lol'd hard and called him again and landed a 20 minute conversation between Ooples and VS. Ooples demanded a video where VS apologized to him and Alex Temple. A bitter, crying, VS accepted in exchange that Clyde stop trolling him. VS delivered:
One day, for authenticity, the Skype Squad called VS's phone and had someone pose as a [[wigger|angry white guy who says "nigger" a lot]], which was meant to be Ooples/Clyde Cash. After leaving two voice messages on his phone, VS joined the Skype conversation and played these message back for everyone and said that he was scared of Ooples, whom he actually claimed to be a black person. After VS left, Skype Squad lol'd hard and called him again and landed a 20 minute conversation between Ooples and VS. Ooples demanded a video where VS apologized to him and Alex Temple. A bitter, crying, VS accepted in exchange that Clyde stop trolling him. VS delivered:
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{{quote|I knew this was all a lie...|[http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/people_and_blogs/watch/v19988493Mg2CtjTT VS, master of bullshiting].}}<br>
{{quote|I knew this was all a lie...|[http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/people_and_blogs/watch/v19988493Mg2CtjTT VS, master of bullshiting].}}<br>


{{frame|<center><youtube>C0meq189GN4</youtube></center>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{center|
{{frame|<youtube>C0meq189GN4</youtube>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
}}
 
== Chatlogs with VS ==


==Chatlogs with VS==
A [[TL;DR]] [[MSN]] chatlog with VS can be read here:
A [[TL;DR]] [[MSN]] chatlog with VS can be read here:
::*[[Vampiricspektor/chatlog1|Part One]]
::* [[VampiricSpektor/chatlog1|Part One]]
::*[[VampiricSpektor/chatlog2|Part Two]]
::* [[VampiricSpektor/chatlog2|Part Two]]
::*[[VampiricSpektor/chatlog3|Part Three]]
::* [[VampiricSpektor/chatlog3|Part Three]]


A Skype chatlog can be read [[Vampiricspektor/SkypeLogs|here]]
A Skype chatlog can be read [[Vampiricspektor/SkypeLogs|here]]


==If you thought this was over then you're a NIGGER==
== If you thought this was over then you're a NIGGER==
 
{{quote|plus i may team up with Scientology to get you TROLLS off the net for good!
|VS in Letter to Alex}}


{{quote|plus i may team up with Scientology to get you TROLLS off the net for good!|VS in Letter to Alex}}
Outraged by the tumorous growth of his EncyclopediaDramatica page and the exceptional news coverage of Alex "Romantic" Temple's Lulz News Network, VampiricSpektor came out of the shadows to strike at Alex with a lustful fury equaled only by the lust for children your step-dad has so delicately acquired. Among other [[batshit insane|totally reasonable]] requests, VampiricSpektor also politely asked for the number to Mazzio's Pizza so she could order himself 100 large pepperoni pizzas (feel free to help him out! (918)664-4444)
Outraged by the tumorous growth of his EncyclopediaDramatica page and the exceptional news coverage of Alex "Romantic" Temple's Lulz News Network, VampiricSpektor came out of the shadows to strike at Alex with a lustful fury equaled only by the lust for children your step-dad has so delicately acquired. Among other [[batshit insane|totally reasonable]] requests, VampiricSpektor also politely asked for the number to Mazzio's Pizza so she could order himself 100 large pepperoni pizzas (feel free to help him out! (918)664-4444)


{{frame|<center><youtube>xzo-gce7-sE</youtube></center><br>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
{{center|
{{frame|<youtube>xzo-gce7-sE</youtube>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
}}


===Letter's to a Young Alex===
=== Letter's to a Young Alex ===


In the spirit of [[trolled|being able to take a joke]], vampiricSpektor sent the two follows letters to Alex "Romantic" Temple.
In the spirit of [[trolled|being able to take a joke]], vampiricSpektor sent the two follows letters to Alex "Romantic" Temple.
<center>[[Image:Lettertoalex1.png|Letter to Alex, Totally reasonable.]]
[[Image:Lettertoalex2.png|Letter to Alex, Still totally reasonable]]</center>
<br>


===TL;DR===
[[Image:Lettertoalex1.png|Letter to Alex, Totally reasonable.|center]]
[[Image:Lettertoalex2.png|Letter to Alex, Still totally reasonable|center]]
 
=== TL;DR ===
 
::* Take down the ED page or I will sue you.
::* Take down the Buttdance or I will sue you.
::* Take down your videos or I will sue you.
::* Do not make any new videos or I will sue you.
::* Even if you do all this, I will sue you.
::* [[Fact|Alex is responsible for every wrong that has ever happened to VS, ever. Seriously.]]
::* Demands a lifetime supply of [[KFC Double Down]]'s pumped directly into his tits through IV.


::*Take down the ED page or I will sue you.
=== Alex's Secret weapon ===
::*Take down the Buttdance or I will sue you.
::*Take down your videos or I will sue you.
::*Do not make any new videos or I will sue you.
::*Even if you do all this, I will sue you.
::*[[Fact|Alex is responsible for every wrong that has ever happened to VS, ever. Seriously.]]
::*Demands a lifetime supply of [[KFC Double Down]]'s pumped directly into his tits through IV.


===Alex's Secret weapon===
What VampiricSpektor does NOT know is that alex has a second video, this one dubbed the '''TIT-DANCE''', also known as '''Operation Blob-Stopper'''. Should Alex "Romantic" Temple be bothered further/sexually pursued by the Parasitic VampiricSpektor then it shall be released...


What VampiricSpektor does NOT know is that alex has a second video, this one dubbed the '''TIT-DANCE''', also known as '''Operation Blob-Stopper'''. Should Alex "Romantic" Temple be bothered further/sexually pursued by the Parasitic VampiricSpektor then it shall be released... <br><center>[[Image:titdance.png|The fabled Tit-dance, unreleased and currently held by Alex "Romantic" Temple]]</center>
[[Image:titdance.png|The fabled Tit-dance, unreleased and currently held by Alex "Romantic" Temple|center]]


{{quote|i cant believe VS is back for a second chance to hob gobble my cock|Alex "Romantic" Temple}}
{{quote|i cant believe VS is back for a second chance to hob gobble my cock|Alex "Romantic" Temple}}


===Skype Threats===
=== Skype Threats ===


{{quote|when you get this, i will have deleted Skype, dont bother trying to contact me, i have changed my name, my entire information, i want this to end as much as you do, so TAKE DOWN THE MOTHERFUCKING PAGE! im not doing things the way they want them, if you do not comply alex will get a warning :) if the page is not down by then, he'll get a Subpeona, if its still not down, he'll get charges pressed on him, if its still not down, i'll make him tell me who all is involved, if its still not down, i'll get the FBI involved, Cyberstalking is a serious crime, if you do NOT believe me, look it up, what you have done to me, too Truehookahking, too Rootbrian and too Christian chandler, is Cyberstalking, i have changed my Phone Number and im living somewhere new...YOU will not get any of this information :) my landlord already knows that i have cyberstalkers trying to find me, in fact she's had several arrested xD! once again, you have cyberstalked the wrong person bitch :) and alot of people are gonna pay for it..NOW take down that page and i'll drop everything! i'll drop the charges on alex and i'll delete/rip up any evidence i've got against ED and 4chan! i will not be around to see your responce...so LATAH! cunt!|Michael-Kun, 10:58AM April 29th, 2010 to [[User:Thuzadian|Thuzadian]]. As you can see, the great ham beast is yet again talking out of its massive ass and has no clue how the law actually works.}}
{{quote|when you get this, i will have deleted Skype, dont bother trying to contact me, i have changed my name, my entire information, i want this to end as much as you do, so TAKE DOWN THE MOTHERFUCKING PAGE! im not doing things the way they want them, if you do not comply alex will get a warning :) if the page is not down by then, he'll get a Subpeona, if its still not down, he'll get charges pressed on him, if its still not down, i'll make him tell me who all is involved, if its still not down, i'll get the FBI involved, Cyberstalking is a serious crime, if you do NOT believe me, look it up, what you have done to me, too Truehookahking, too Rootbrian and too Christian chandler, is Cyberstalking, i have changed my Phone Number and im living somewhere new...YOU will not get any of this information :) my landlord already knows that i have cyberstalkers trying to find me, in fact she's had several arrested xD! once again, you have cyberstalked the wrong person bitch :) and alot of people are gonna pay for it..NOW take down that page and i'll drop everything! i'll drop the charges on alex and i'll delete/rip up any evidence i've got against ED and 4chan! i will not be around to see your responce...so LATAH! cunt!|Michael-Kun, 10:58AM April 29th, 2010 to [[User:Thuzadian|Thuzadian]]. As you can see, the great ham beast is yet again talking out of its massive ass and has no clue how the law actually works.}}


==Nolan-Kun==
== Nolan-Kun ==


The drama regarding VS keeps resurfacing and unlike other [[Chris-Chan|lolcows]] continues to cause actual lulz instead of fanbois masturbating to their prey's antics. Nolan-kun is the latest drama to come out of the VS saga. Nolan-Kun is likely the most dedicated troll to have ever existed.
The drama regarding VS keeps resurfacing and unlike other [[Chris-Chan|lolcows]] continues to cause actual lulz instead of fanbois masturbating to their prey's antics. Nolan-kun is the latest drama to come out of the VS saga. Nolan-Kun is likely the most dedicated troll to have ever existed.
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Vampiric timing the contractions of his fiancee who was pregnant with kids from another dude, and who Vampiric said he was going to marry and adopt the children of. Vampiric may be a dad one day. And I was unable to get photo or video of this chick because I was doing this all on the sneak, but she looked like a Mexican lunchlady, and wasn't nearly hideous enough to be with him.|[[IRL Troll|Nolan-Kun]], bringing trolling to a whole new level of dedication}}
Vampiric timing the contractions of his fiancee who was pregnant with kids from another dude, and who Vampiric said he was going to marry and adopt the children of. Vampiric may be a dad one day. And I was unable to get photo or video of this chick because I was doing this all on the sneak, but she looked like a Mexican lunchlady, and wasn't nearly hideous enough to be with him.|[[IRL Troll|Nolan-Kun]], bringing trolling to a whole new level of dedication}}


To summarize what Nolan-Kun did was this: Two years before any of this drama started, Nolan-kun discovered VS and realized an epic lolcow in the making. He decided to befriend him and have [[buttsecks|intimate relations]] with the whale himself. Normally when one has sex with a fatass they keep it to themselves and likely only did it because they were intoxicated or for the money, Nolan-Kun does it with [[Did it for the lulz|ulterior motives]]. His purpose was to get the dox of VS as well as some of the hideous videos regarding the sexual shaking of various flabs of fat seen above. [[lulz|Nolan-kun has gained the trust of VS to the point that VS doesn't believe that Nolan-kun is actually doing all of this of his free will and is being brainwashed by his girlfriend who is secretly a troll]]. Somehow VS has convinced some woman who is clearly hotter than him to become his wife. This goes to show you that there is no excuse for [[you|you]] still being a [[pussytown|virgin]]. According to Nolan-kun's last comment, there will be more drama unfolding shortly.
To summarize what Nolan-Kun did was this: Two years before any of this drama started, Nolan-kun discovered VS and realized an epic lolcow in the making. He decided to befriend him and have [[buttsecks|intimate relations]] with the whale himself. Normally when one has sex with a fatass they keep it to themselves and likely only did it because they were intoxicated or paid, Nolan-Kun does it with [[Did it for the lulz|ulterior motives]]. His purpose was to get the dox of VS as well as some of the hideous videos regarding the sexual shaking of various rolls of fat seen above. [[lulz|Nolan-kun has gained the trust of VS to the point that VS doesn't believe that Nolan-kun is actually doing all of this of his free will and is being brainwashed by his girlfriend who is secretly a troll]]. Somehow VS has convinced some woman who is clearly hotter than him to become his wife. This goes to show you that there is no excuse for [[you|you]] still being a [[pussytown|virgin]]. According to Nolan-kun's last comment, there will be more drama unfolding shortly.


{{center|
{{frame|{{fv|id3|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>IFJsz0ke2kk</youtube>
|<youtube>ylC5Rq3hVTg</youtube>}}|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}
}}


== Gallery Of Trolling ==


{{frame|<center>{{fv|id3|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; |<youtube>IFJsz0ke2kk</youtube>
<center>'''[http://memegenerator.net/Vampiric-Spektor OH EXPLOITABLE!! Click here to create your own Vampiric-Spektor insta-memes!]'''</center>
|<youtube>ylC5Rq3hVTg</youtube>}}</center>|border=hotpink|background=hotpink|margin=auto}}


==Gallery Of Trolling==
{{center|
<center> '''[http://memegenerator.net/Vampiric-Spektor OH EXPLOITABLE!! Click here to create your own Vampiric-Spektor insta-memes!]'''</center>
<gallery>
 
 
<center><gallery>|VampiricSpektor_gallery|center|<gallery>
File:VS360b.PNG|[[360 kid|The great thing about having a lump on my forehead isn't having psychic powers, it's showing everyone online that I do]].
File:VS360b.PNG|[[360 kid|The great thing about having a lump on my forehead isn't having psychic powers, it's showing everyone online that I do]].
File:VSdbk.PNG
File:VSdbk.PNG
File:Vampiricspektordavidfailkips.jpg
File:Vampiricspektordavidfailkips.jpg
File:Flowerhorn.jpg|VampiricSpektor's previous life as a fish.
File:Flowerhorn.jpg|VampiricSpektor's previous life as a fish.
</gallery></center>
</gallery>
}}


{{quote|ITS NOT A FUCKING LUMP! ITS A GODDAMN BRUISE! forget it...you're a goddamned moron...my words are LOST to you|VS}}
{{quote|ITS NOT A FUCKING LUMP! ITS A GODDAMN BRUISE! forget it...you're a goddamned moron...my words are LOST to you|VS}}


==See also==
== See also ==
*[[Psion Guild]]
*[[Taking Down ED]]
*[[Unwarranted self-importance]]
*[[YouTube]]
*[[Joseph8276]]


==External Links==
* [[Psion Guild]]
*[http://memegenerator.net/Vampiric-Spektor Generate your own Vampiric-Spektor memes! Damn yourself to a lulzy eternity in HELL!]
* [[Taking Down ED]]
*[http://www.veoh.com/users/PsychicOvermind Mirror Account]
* [[Unwarranted self-importance]]
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0OWFZI3Q Download all VS vids here] (Up to date as of 4/7/2010)
* [[YouTube]]
*[http://www.4shared.com/get/wX5TCZHZ/New_folder.html Download the EDS1 Calls Here]
* [[Joseph8276]]
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5L0N4FHA Download the Clyde Cash Calls Here]
 
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QYK2QKRX Download the Final VS Skype Here]
== External Links ==
[[File:Vampiricspektor and boyfriend?.png|thumb|right|Well, at least they won't breed]]
* [http://memegenerator.net/Vampiric-Spektor Generate your own Vampiric-Spektor memes! Damn yourself to a lulzy eternity in HELL!]
* [http://www.veoh.com/users/PsychicOvermind Mirror Account]
* [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0OWFZI3Q Download all VS vids here] (Up to date as of 4/7/2010)
* [http://www.4shared.com/get/wX5TCZHZ/New_folder.html Download the EDS1 Calls Here]
* [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5L0N4FHA Download the Clyde Cash Calls Here]
* [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QYK2QKRX Download the Final VS Skype Here]
'''<s>His</s> Her Accounts'''
'''<s>His</s> Her Accounts'''
*{{youtube2|hereforjusticeandall|Hereforjusticeandall}} - boyfriend's YouTube account
* {{yt|cu|hereforjusticeandall|Hereforjusticeandall}} - boyfriend's YouTube account
*<b>[http://www.facebook.com/pages/VampiricSpektor/58526077057 Fakebook account]</b>
* '''[http://www.facebook.com/pages/VampiricSpektor/58526077057 Fakebook account]'''
*<b>[http://nightstalkersage.xanga.com/ her Xanga]</b> Inactive.
* '''[http://nightstalkersage.xanga.com/ her Xanga]''' Inactive.
*<b>[http://www.theanimenetwork.com/component/option,com_community/Itemid,79/userid,13190/view,profile// Anime Network Page]</b> Restricted
* '''[http://www.theanimenetwork.com/component/option,com_community/Itemid,79/userid,13190/view,profile// Anime Network Page]''' Restricted
*{{youtube2|KnownTK|KnownTK}} - Alex Temple's account, with Mirrors of the Malcurian videos.
* {{yt|cu|KnownTK|KnownTK}} - Alex Temple's account, with Mirrors of the Malcurian videos.
 


{{faggotry}}
{{faggotry}}
{{ytseries}}
{{ytseries}}
{{Takedown}}
{{Takedown}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 16, [[2010]]|[[Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 2]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Epic Beard Man]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 16, [[2010]]|[[Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 2]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Epic Beard Man]]}}
[[Category:2010]]
[[Category:2010]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Latest revision as of 09:42, 13 January 2023

ZZZZZZZZZZ KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!

This article is TL;DR. You can help by editing this page and removing the large blocks of boring text.
See the style guide for more information.

IT'S A MAN, BABY!


VampiricSpektor is actually a man IRL.

Enjoy your cock!   8====D (_(__)


Fangs bared
   
“ 		 
I am a telepathic Psychic, i see things no one can understand or comprehend. I love Sci-fi/horror movies, Underground Industrial/EBM music and my Heroes are the X-men and all Homo-sexuals in the world, God is my savior and my main hobby is Religion and the effects of Spell Casting :)


 

„
  		 

—Michael-Kun, full of contradictions


VampiricSpektor, total goth thug.
His nephew, he touched his no-no place.

VampiricSpektor, or Michael-Kun, is a voluptuous internet slob-beast living in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who began to discover that [i] aquired(sic) psychic abilities at the age of 15 as well as enlisting powers such as telepathy, soul blasts, astral plane walking, ghost communicating and hamburgling. Mostly hamburgling, though. His belief that people give a shit about his opinions and his mystifying ability to predict disasters after they occur make her a dangerous, albeit prime lolcow.

VampiricSpektor Videos can be broken down into three genres: videos explaining why Michael-Kun's vibrant bisexuality and Satanic magic is, like, totally kosher in God's eyes; videos insisting that he's lost at least twenty pounds; and videos demanding $5,000 be sent back to him from Nolan-Kun (his heroin-addicted boyfriend). Occasionally there is a fourth category of video, wherein he insists this is the last video, quickly followed by another video fitting into the first three categories. While VampiricSpektor has the body of an trisomy-ridden African mammy, he has the heart and cognitive function of a 15 year old, demanding not to be made fun of, frequently using super-awesome emoticons ^_^ while browsing hip new Twilight and Naruto merchandise. However, what lies under that greasy hide of rehydrated pork rinds is the "daemon inside of [me]" as verified by Nolan-Kun.

Recently, after the Malcurian made its first V-LOG attack, Michael swiftly responded by "cursing [my] webcam" insisting that "I don't even need DNA to curse." Clearly, VampiricSpektor's threats should be taken very seriously, to which Nolan-Kun can attest . Despite being completely out of touch with reality, Michael-Kun is surprisingly in touch with current internet trends such as making youtube V-LOGS, tweeting predictions, and being trolled.

   
“ 		 
I have been acused [sic] of a lot of shit in my life and being a pedifile [sic] is one of them ..... i can be very evil if i want to be."
  		„
  		 

—Michael-Kun, 2-11-10




Notable Predictions

   
“ 		 
you guys wont find me


 

„
  		 

—Michael-Kun

   
“ 		 
You guys don't do shit...and I can see things before they happen.


 

„
  		 

—Michael-Kun on 2-20-10

   
“ 		 
I don't like to write my predictions down on paper. That's right, I'm a psychic that is wrong, ninety-nine, uh.. fifty out of fifty times, because just like the weather, the future can change.


 

„
  		 

—Michael-Kun

   
“ 		 
I foresaw everything happening...it's going according to what I've seen. The trolls, the 4chan, the Anons, the...the harassment...


 

„
  		 

—Michael, explaining that he doesn't head the warnings

   
“ 		 
As I had foreseen in a dream, I got played like a fiddle!


 

„
  		 

—Michael dreams of trolls.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

A Brief History of Morbid Obesity

Vampiricspektor has always been a fantastic liar on the Internet. That's right, the Internet; back when it was "surfed" and the "I" was capitalized and stood for serious fucking business. During the 56k and DSL days, a teenaged VS frequented Christian Teens:1, Goth Chat:1, and Gay Bi & Lesbian Teens:1 on Yahoo chat. There, he was a source of endless amusement to his fellow housebound losers. Although he claims to have discovered his psychic powers during this time, this link: [1] evidences an early presence of his tremendous fatness on the web and prove that he was doing the same thing then that he is doing today: lying through his flaccid ass-curtains about his life, which is demonstrably a pathetic open cesspit covered in cheeto dust... and that post is from a forum that references lies he told in the nineties! VS probably thought the infamy he accrued during his days of constantly changing his sexuality, religion, and gang affiliation (he served as a meat shield for the Bloods, who later buttfucked him for his trouble - seriously - oh, and he shot someone and then had to join the Crips!) would eventually disappear. He did not count on someone who remembers him sharing these precious memories with ED after stumbling upon his page and having yet another hearty laugh at his expense. VampiricSpektor, AKA, Scoot, Scooter, or The Caped Fatty, will live forever, though I imagine that, sometimes, late at night, he wishes he could hurry up and die.

  • Post by VeLtrize on May 12, 2005, 2:34am

so how did scott find stardrops anyhow? doesn't his computer have like restrictions or something? oh wait, no. thats right, he was talking about getting that 'super computer' and such. the computer just must have came preinstalled with stardrops as a bookmark. hes fat.

Health

VampiricSpektor is not a healthy individual in any sense of the word.

Mental Health

As far as mental stability goes, Michael-Kun is at a loss. He has convinced himself that he possesses psychic abilities as well as many other magical powers that only he seems to understand or acknowledge to exist. It is possible that he is merely trolling about the "magic" stuff and is actually well in contact with the real world, but the likely explanation considering recent events is that he actually believes these powers exist and any and all incidents in which he experienced anything paranormal would be while under the influence of alcohol or some kind of narcotic drug. The only other explanation is that said powers actually do exist, in which case, we are all fucked... or maybe he is just a batshit insane fat fuck hambeast who grows more deluded (and rotund) by the hour.

Another glaring indicator of mental illness is Michael-Kun's anger management. Upon being trolled on the internet, he responded by threatening his enemies with his psychic powers, claiming to have ancestral lineage to demons and such. A not-batshit-crazy 31-year-old man would be expected to be able to handle the abuse and continue with his life.

VampiricSpektor's loneliness has progressed to a point at which he has invented an imaginary boyfriend for himself who he named Nolan-Kun. Although VampiricSpektor mentions him frequently, there has never been any verifiable proof that he exists. It is also apparent that he cannot be joking about his existence. According to Twitter, he waited upwards of 24 days for a package to arrive from him. Michael-Kun has obviously convinced himself that there is such an individual as Nolan-Kun.

Physical Health

VampiricSpektor's physical health pretty much reflects his mental health. He has admitted to never leaving his house except in the event of visiting a store for powdered donuts. He frequently smokes and drinks, and the greasiness and overall untidiness of his hair would suggest that showers are a rare occurrence for him. As it is, he is in his early thirties but could easily pass for his mid-forties and definitely even his early fifties.

Obesity

Michael-Kun's obesity is easily his most obvious and possibly most life-threatening condition. Although he is almost never seen from below the shoulders, we do get a glimpse of his lower body in the buttdance video, revealing that his muumuu cannot quite cover his entire abdomen (which would leave us to assume that he walks around with his belly showing in public). Considering he is is 5-11 and is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, obese, he would have to weigh at least 215 pounds at his height to give him a body mass index of 30.0, which is the least one can have to be considered such. However, he is most certainly significantly heavier than this. Glimpses of his body would suggest he is well over 300, probably as much as 400. This is most likely a result of his lifestyle as a hermit, as well as frequent consumption of alcohol and Taco Bell. It is unknown if he was overweight as a young boy, but this is also likely. His morbid obesity will most likely kill him before he is 50.

The Forehead Lump

Michael-Kun claims that THE CULPRIT is a result of a bruise that definitely happened sometime last week. However, after spewing over two years worth of "content" on YouTube, THE CULPRIT has been there since the start. Either Michael-Kun cracks open walnuts by headbutting or has a serious case of the Mondays, every day. Neurologists and trolls alike gather to study the beast's anatomy, and while they are still at the early stages of understanding its more to love! body, significant progress has been made.

Medical Diagnosis

A great deal of effort and speculation has gone into identifying the horrendous, sickening, depraved, wretched, vile, repugnant, despicable, afflicted, miserable, repulsive and pretty gay lump festering occipitofrontal lipoma adorned so gracefully by Michael-Kun. After a full CT scan with contrast, it has determined that the lump is due to thaumaturgical build-up, the blue balls of the magic world. It is caused by a massive build up of fatty magic and miracle in the idiotiums endogland, the magic center of the brain. The only known cure for this disease is death, or That's So Raven! season 1.

Encyclopedia Dramatica Diagnosis

Holy shit. Wtf is that thing? FUN FACT: Former schizophrenic nigra song writer Wesley Willis had a similar lump/tumor/extra limb emanating from his forehead. We prey to Eris that VS ends up exactly like Wesley, too.

Nolan-Kun, fact or fiction?

The fine authors of this article spent countless hours researching Michael-Kun and all of his obsessions during their off hours from art school. In nearly every video Michael-Kun, the hambeast claims to be in some sick borderline pedophiliac, but definitely straight (lolwut), relationship with a supple young boy by the name of Nolan-Kun. After searching through his subscribes, comments, his twitter page where Michael-Kun clearly says he reads Nolan-Kun's tweets, there is no evidence of Nolan-Kun existing. Specifically, his twitter page which contains only six followers show no evidence what so ever of anyone fitting Nolan-Kun's description. What is this, I don't even...

Tweet's regarding Nolan-Kun:

  • lolz...had a video conversation with Theo and Tyler...Theo's hawt! but nolans hotter xD omg i hate pain :(
  • tch, reading nolan-kuns tweets make me feel sorry for his habits...ugh :P
  • Just Recently Heard Nolan-kun got arrested while tweaking on meth...gawd and reading his twitter means tyler was lying -.-
  • ah heh, i wish nolan-kun would call me...srsly...i cant text him anymore or him text me because my father is an absolute fucktard

EXTREME LULZ, Michael-Kun's dad pays for his phone. He is 31 years old.

  • Currently at a loss for words on nolan-kuns email to me...i dont know weither to blush or laugh out loud xD
  • so nolans single now? great to know! lol
  • aww nolan-kuns so cute when he speaks to me, its almost an orgasm in mono-tone XD
  • oh holy shit, nolan-kuns tweets are so cute, im so hot for him i just wanna jack off on webcam and send it to him VIA email...however, icant (Can't find your penis?)

A sexy, single, romantic, compassionate, hotter than any other VIDEO WEB FRIENDS, erotic guy with a meth addiction? Sounds too good to be true! Or is he? Not all is chipper-dandy with Nolan-Kun, as these tweets signify:

  • im fucked now, this is day number 5 and no package from nolan-kun :( im getting upset >.<
  • im getting tired of waiting for nolan-kuns package to me....:( its been 6 fracking days! ffs!
  • wasted another 4 hours downstairs waiting for a the surprise package that nolan sent me, didnt come today...ugh :( next time 1st class pl0x!
  • i see no fans have sent me monies in paypal...come on dudes..nolans package FAILS lol xD
  • tryin to talk to nolan-kun on facebook but he just ignores meh..what teh hell eh heh :(
  • still no package...-.-
  • bored, still waiting for nolan-kuns package...no dice :(
  • still waiting for nolan-kuns package...its been 24 days and at this point i might as well give up -.-

Perhaps Nolan-Kun is having difficulty using the mail system due to the fact he is about as corporeal as Michael-Kun's black magic and the government doesn't discriminate against man-baby imaginary characters. Still, in the unlikely event that Nolan-Kun is real, holy shit man, holy shit. You'd send nudes to that Goliath online!

Remixed

Previous Video | Next Video

The Malcurian

   
“ 		 
There is someone weird... imposterising [sic] me.


 

„
  		 

—Michael-Kun


From the shadows came The Malcurian to "cause capital chaos" against Michael-Kun. Although his origin is unknown it is widely assumed that The Malcurian is a by-product of Michael-Kun's skilled black-magyicks. The clever tags in The Malcurian's youtube V-LOGS ensure that when someone searched for Michael-Kun's videos Malcurian's V-LOG come up. Alerted by fail and defamation of character, Michael-Kun became obsessed with the Malcurian, sparking the great magical e-war which still rages today. In the battle of student vs teacher, Michael-Kun has announced that he will not submit to cybercrime and e-bullying despite already deleting every single one of his video's once due to The Malcurian infestation, and due to Nolan-Kun owing him $15

   
“ 		 
The Quadratic Formula has ruptured and expired causing the Malcurian to begin to decrypt information regarding the user "VampiricSpektor". This unstable stream of data will cause infrequiencies within the YouTube feed as well as anomalies within the Malcurians place of residence. This VLOG entry has been carefully crafted to cause capital chaos. PLEASE WATCH AS THIS VLOG SYSTEM EXPLAINS SOURCE CODES OF MALCURIAN AND MAY BE USED TO ASSIST WITH THE EFFORT TO SYNCHRONIZE WITH VAMPIRICSPEKTORS OCCULT MOTIVES.
  		„
  		 

—The Malcurian - WHAT THE FUCK?!?

War against the Malcurian

The time was prime to put an end to the ultimate life form The Malcurian. After making a video asking the identity of The Malcurian, Michael-Kun erased all of his videos committing the ultimate youtube sepukku. Days later he returned to the youtube with a slew of new videos stating both that he was here to stay, and he would find WHO IS THE MALCURIAN ONCE AND FOR ALL.

VampiricSpektor goes Apeshit

After the recent Malcurian Video, Scott Palmer went absolutely batshit insane, compiling over 9000 response videos demanding to know the identity of The Malcurian (who he believes attempted to run him over with car), inflicting various curses on innocent bystanders, and other hilarious retaliations. He became so obsessed that VampiricSpektor created three to four videos per day; and this was BEFORE he found the EncyclopediaDramatica article. Shit was going down now, motherfuckers. Apparently a spy secreted all of his information onto the shitstorm EncyclopediaDramatica. There was only one solution: FBI. Convinced that The Malcurian is someone named "Ashon", he pursued other helpless targets in his rage path, allowing The Malcurian time to craft it's next V-LOG update. It has promised one soon, as well as issuing a public statement to VampiricSpektor:

   
“ 		 
PERHAPS YOU ARE MISINFORMED FRIEND. MALCURIAN IS TRUTH, ASHON IS A CORRUPTION OF INDENTIY. MALCURIAN HAS QUITE A SURPRISE FOR YOU UNLESS YOU CONFORM TO MALCURIAN SYSTEM STABILIZATION. YOU HAVE 4 DAYS BEFORE MALCURIAN RUPTURES THE TRUTH. YOU WILL FAILS.
  		„
  		 

—The Malcurian

BREAKING NEWS: THE MALCURIAN IS ALEX "ROMANTIC" TEMPLE

VampiricSpektor Goes To War With Encyclopedia Dramatica

   
“ 		 
If I have to I'll get the Encyclopedia Dramatica hacked. You stupid motherfucking shits.


 

„
  		 

—VampiricSpektor: he's going to hax us

   
“ 		 
This is exactly the kind of attention I didn't need. All negative.


 

„
  		 

—VampiricSpektor thinking there's a positive to being a 500 pound gay guy that doesn't bathe.

   
“ 		 
Guys we have won a great victory...my brother and i and my dad joined together and deleted EVERY peice of information on every site that the malcurian and Murkyurine have been on....my mission was too Delete and destroy Encyclopediadramaticas page about me...but it came with great cost....i made myself a target for hackers....Trust me...that page has been manipulated and distorted with all sorts of Codes my Friend Steve gave me...its gonna keep them occupied kekekekekekekeke XD


 

„
  		 

— VampiricSpektor after blanking this page.

   
“ 		 
lets get one thing str8 here! IM NOT A FUCKING GIRL! im a guy!? Furthur more....one word from me to the those i have contacts with...and youtube and encyclopediadramatica are goin permanently OFFLINE! this is yer last warning! xD.


 

„
  		 

—OH SNAP

   
“ 		 
how the fuck do you know what my moms name is?


 

„
  		 

—OH SHIIIIII

   
“ 		 
Dangle, i dont get what yer beef is...what you are doing is slander against the law not to mention an invasion of the internet privacy act of 2008! Cease and Decist! you have 5 days to comply or i will take this worldwide...dont think im gonna do it? i will...and when i get yer information i will give it to the cyber crimes division of the FBI and my local police force! YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG PERSON BITCH! see unlike other people you troll! THIS VICTIM HAS BITE!


 

„
  		 

—Vampiricspektor Intenets lawyer.

   
“ 		 
Hey douchenozzle, i know yer name but i wont say cause unlike you i RESPECT peoples rights to privacy! and now that you have openly admitted too Making Clones to harrass me, youtube will be even more glad to take this one step furthur and that is banning yer IP address! look all i want is my family left out of this! fucking coward


 

„
  		 

— Michael

   
“ 		 
wait...im just wondering why you guys hide behind the first amendmant i've always wondered that


 

„
  		 

—Vampiricspektor, directed towards ED.

   
“ 		 
they will not remove the page because of the 1st Amendment...FUCK THE FIRST AMENDMENT, for fucks sakes...i want them to remove the page because its the right thing to do! and im not the one butthurt here....


 

„
  		 

Previous Quote | Next Quote

VampiricSpektor was terminally butthurt, and needed a man to target. Appropriately he came after Alex "Romantic" Temple with a rage in his belly rivaling the build up of rage in his forehead. Sending out his greatest minions and hackers, he managed to defile the www.LulzcastPodcast.com webpage causing great pain for Romantic.

It became apparent that victory from his battles with Encyclopedia Dramatica, while a delusion, was on his side. Alarmed by his merciless banter of serious business and dedication to hacking Encyclopedia Dramatica's webpage using super awesome secret codes he probably got through Tim's Java Tutorials and Support! page, Romantic decided it was time to enter into negotiations so that everything was not lost.

Romantic vs VS: The Negotiation

While the negotiations are still in the primary stages, Romantic refrains from comment. However, he has mentioned that VampiricSpektor requests $10,000 as well as the ED page be taken down and that Romantic counter requested to be uncursed. The Negotiations look promising and the exchange so far seems totally reasonable.

The actual agreement turned out to be that, in exchange for taking down VS's parent's dox from this article, he would cohost February's Lulz News Network video and would never make another checkmate video.

VampiricButthurt Issues Moar Pointless Threats

 
“ 		 
@Kessador sadly if i posted pics of the gratuitious violence on youtube i'd be flagged for it...so...sorry! yer gonna have to take my word for it! XD
  		„
 

—Vampiricsphinctor on how insanely fucking badass he is at kicking people's fucking asses

On 3/15/2010, VampiricSpektor issued moar threats against ED. He claims something about an Ultimatum, although it was not really clear what he meant because he is an asspie. He also stated that ED will be taken down in 48 hours and that his super 1337 H4KK0R friends will help him destroy ED once and for all. There was also some freedom of speech ranting and other random bullshit that had nothing to do with anything. He warned ED about the coming Butthurt Ragnarok that is coming from his magic spells and hacker friends. Despite the fact that he's said this shit over 9000 times already, he is actually going to follow through with it this time.

In order to wage war against ED, VampiricSpektor decided to upload a bunch of videos stating that he had done various terrible things to members of ED's community, like having "Snaisybelle Dramatica" arrested, and viciously attacking members of the EDSingers. Of course, anyone with a functioning neuron knows that they were groped by his ~psychic powers.~ To read about Snaisybelle's defeat at the hands of the merciless VampiricSpektor, click here.

Damn. He's won. Time to pack up guys-- Oh wait, page is still up.

Buttdance!

March 20, 2010 Alex "Romantic" Temple revealed the long held buttdance video in return for VS breaking his word by making a checkmate video. It was Main Paged for maximum shoutiez and horror.


Gone but Not Forgotten

As of approximately 11:20 PM, after releasing a string of videos on March 22, his account has been closed. Delicious mirrors exists if you missed it!

Just kidding. The trolls of the internet thought they had won after his final, teary-eyed video, but this was in fact an elaborate ruse. Maniacal Cackle! The stakes have certainly been upped, as he is now threatening to hold this page for ransom:

Fun fact: In this hit video, notice how the pixel format of the movie seems to highlight the one remaining fang.

In a later video, he declares that there is no other alternative other than to collect 1 million signatures from the Supreme Court so that the Australian government will take down ED as shown here:

HOWEVER, he has just deleted ALL his videos AGAIN, after one of his works of art had been flagged by the community, who are probably just tired of his endless bitching and moaning, because nobody gives a fuck about his life or anything in it.

   
“ 		 
If I was in court right now, talking about it, I would say to the judge, 'Fuck your goddamn first amendment and do the fucking right thing!'


 

„
  		 

—VS, on how to win a court case

VS and the Skype Squad

One day, VS gave out all of his phone number via a video with the exception of the last number. He seemed to not realize there were only about 10 digits it could be. This being so, the EDiots with Skype decided to go for the troll.

Original Calls

In the original phone calls with VS, the following occurs:

  • Tries to claim ED didn't stick to its word when it took down his parent's dox.
  • Says the Raiders will be in the Super Bowl 2027, yet later says he can't see beyond 12/21/2012.
  • Says God spoke to him and gave him his psychic ability.
  • Claims Cassandra (EDS1) was arrested.
  • etc. (The download to these calls is in "External Links" along with the other Skype calls)

Cassandra

One day, our beloved EDSingers uploaded a song about VS that was loved through out the net. VS discovered this beautiful song and falsely flagged the video and had it taken down. Over Skype, a distraught girl named Cassandra (AKA EDS1) called VS and told him how she was saddened and would hurt herself because of the tragedy he had committed.

   
“ 		 
DID YOU NOT LIKE YOUR SONG VAMPIRICSPEKTOR?


 

„
  		 

—An Upset Cassandra

   
“ 		 
You forgot?! And you're psychic?!


 

„
  		 

—Cassandra

   
“ 		 
No, I got in trouble with Youtube


 

„
  		 

—Cassandra, while starting to cry

   
“ 		 
CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN!


 

„
  		 

—VS freaking out.

   
“ 		 
Are you a pedophile?


 

„
  		 

—Cassandra's Mother.

   
“ 		 
His name's Vampire something. He's a fucking Vampire!


 

„
  		 

—Cassandra's Father.

   
“ 		 
A fucking devil pedophile...


 

„
  		 

—Father Knows Best.

   
“ 		 
Somebody is telling your daughter lies!


 

„
  		 

—VS saving face with mom and dad.

   
“ 		 
Encyclopedia Dramatica is a site geared towards pedophilia and a bunch of other crap.


 

„
  		 

—VS blaming ED.

   
“ 		 
I want to touch your body.


 

„
  		 

—It turns out Cassandra is blind.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Ooples/Clyde Cash

One day, at the realization that he was fighting a lost war, VS decided to make fake propaganda about the secret ED Admin named Ooples being arrested. When the EDiots on Skype caught wind of this news, the initial reply was "Who the fuck is Ooples?" At this point, they had the brilliant idea of having VS's lies bite him in the tankass and tell him that Ooples's was real, his real name was Clyde Cash, that he used to hunt Bosnian war criminals, and that he was coming to get revenge while Skyping with VS.

The following IRC/Skype logs were shown to VS:

Use scrollbar to see the full text

<Knots> Clyde_Cash: how the fuck are you on IRC I thought you got arrested

<Clyde_Cash> i did. knots i can't fucking explain this shit to you right now
<Clyde_Cash> but i know who fucking did this
<Clyde_Cash> im going to rape him
<Knots> You're going to... what...?
<Knots> Where are you? How'd you get away?
<Clyde_Cash> i already found where he lives
<Knots> Well that's great news. Drop his dox and we'll put them on the page
<Clyde_Cash> no knots. this isnt EDs. this is my revenge.
<Clyde_Cash> my brother is bringing me my gun to the safe house
<Clyde_Cash> im going to fuck that bitch in his pathetic hole
<Clyde_Cash> im going to rape him
<Knots> Holy shit you are seriously mad about this
Clyde_Cash has left irc.encyclopediadramatica.com (Quit: over and out)

[3/29/2010 2:43:09 AM] Dr_Rice: Michael
[3/29/2010 2:43:14 AM] Dr_Rice: Clyde Cash has a gun
[3/29/2010 2:44:18 AM] Dr_Rice: He is angry that you got him arrested
[3/29/2010 2:44:31 AM] Dr_Rice: That is what he thinks you did
[3/29/2010 2:44:37 AM] Dr_Rice: and he is going to kill you regardless

He believed this 100%


One day, for authenticity, the Skype Squad called VS's phone and had someone pose as a angry white guy who says "nigger" a lot, which was meant to be Ooples/Clyde Cash. After leaving two voice messages on his phone, VS joined the Skype conversation and played these message back for everyone and said that he was scared of Ooples, whom he actually claimed to be a black person. After VS left, Skype Squad lol'd hard and called him again and landed a 20 minute conversation between Ooples and VS. Ooples demanded a video where VS apologized to him and Alex Temple. A bitter, crying, VS accepted in exchange that Clyde stop trolling him. VS delivered:

A few days later, the Skype Squad decided to hold their end of Clyde's deal. They brought VS into one final Skype and asked him various questions which proved that VS was a psychic being. They then decided to break the news that they were Clyde Cash. VS responded just as he always does:

   
“ 		 
I knew this was all a lie...
  		„
  		 

—VS, master of bullshiting.


Chatlogs with VS

A TL;DR MSN chatlog with VS can be read here:

A Skype chatlog can be read here

If you thought this was over then you're a NIGGER

   
“ 		 
plus i may team up with Scientology to get you TROLLS off the net for good!


 

„
  		 

—VS in Letter to Alex

Outraged by the tumorous growth of his EncyclopediaDramatica page and the exceptional news coverage of Alex "Romantic" Temple's Lulz News Network, VampiricSpektor came out of the shadows to strike at Alex with a lustful fury equaled only by the lust for children your step-dad has so delicately acquired. Among other totally reasonable requests, VampiricSpektor also politely asked for the number to Mazzio's Pizza so she could order himself 100 large pepperoni pizzas (feel free to help him out! (918)664-4444)

Letter's to a Young Alex

In the spirit of being able to take a joke, vampiricSpektor sent the two follows letters to Alex "Romantic" Temple.

Letter to Alex, Totally reasonable.
Letter to Alex, Totally reasonable.
Letter to Alex, Still totally reasonable
Letter to Alex, Still totally reasonable

TL;DR

Alex's Secret weapon

What VampiricSpektor does NOT know is that alex has a second video, this one dubbed the TIT-DANCE, also known as Operation Blob-Stopper. Should Alex "Romantic" Temple be bothered further/sexually pursued by the Parasitic VampiricSpektor then it shall be released...

The fabled Tit-dance, unreleased and currently held by Alex "Romantic" Temple
The fabled Tit-dance, unreleased and currently held by Alex "Romantic" Temple
   
“ 		 
i cant believe VS is back for a second chance to hob gobble my cock
  		„
  		 

—Alex "Romantic" Temple

Skype Threats

   
“ 		 
when you get this, i will have deleted Skype, dont bother trying to contact me, i have changed my name, my entire information, i want this to end as much as you do, so TAKE DOWN THE MOTHERFUCKING PAGE! im not doing things the way they want them, if you do not comply alex will get a warning :) if the page is not down by then, he'll get a Subpeona, if its still not down, he'll get charges pressed on him, if its still not down, i'll make him tell me who all is involved, if its still not down, i'll get the FBI involved, Cyberstalking is a serious crime, if you do NOT believe me, look it up, what you have done to me, too Truehookahking, too Rootbrian and too Christian chandler, is Cyberstalking, i have changed my Phone Number and im living somewhere new...YOU will not get any of this information :) my landlord already knows that i have cyberstalkers trying to find me, in fact she's had several arrested xD! once again, you have cyberstalked the wrong person bitch :) and alot of people are gonna pay for it..NOW take down that page and i'll drop everything! i'll drop the charges on alex and i'll delete/rip up any evidence i've got against ED and 4chan! i will not be around to see your responce...so LATAH! cunt!
  		„
  		 

—Michael-Kun, 10:58AM April 29th, 2010 to Thuzadian. As you can see, the great ham beast is yet again talking out of its massive ass and has no clue how the law actually works.

Nolan-Kun

The drama regarding VS keeps resurfacing and unlike other lolcows continues to cause actual lulz instead of fanbois masturbating to their prey's antics. Nolan-kun is the latest drama to come out of the VS saga. Nolan-Kun is likely the most dedicated troll to have ever existed.

   
“ 		 
This is Nolan-Kun, I'm known for being the guy who has the in with VampiricSpektor. I've been watching his videos for over two years and have spent the entire time becoming his trusted friend, we even fake dated for a while in order for me to get the ass slap video of him.

Recently on the way down to Bonnaroo I stopped by to meet him with my girlfriend. We were supposed to hang with him for four hours, but he was too gone on pills and didn't wake up until twenty minutes before we needed to get back on the road despite many phone calls and texts from me. I ended up staying for forty minutes and talked to him and his fiancee in his apartment that had a handwritten sign for the Meals on Wheels people on the outside telling them to just leave the food at the door. He told me I couldn't take picture or video of him, so had to do a sneak record, then got him to pose for a few pics by promising they'd only be on an offline computer. Now that the stuff is online he's claiming my girlfriend is one of you guys and tricked me by doing secret recording and that the FBI bugged his apartment so they'd be able to put her in jail. All I have online right now is one video of him timing his girlfriend's contractions, and one pic, but will have a little more soon enough. Here you go, enjoy!

Vampiric timing the contractions of his fiancee who was pregnant with kids from another dude, and who Vampiric said he was going to marry and adopt the children of. Vampiric may be a dad one day. And I was unable to get photo or video of this chick because I was doing this all on the sneak, but she looked like a Mexican lunchlady, and wasn't nearly hideous enough to be with him.
 

„
  		 

—Nolan-Kun, bringing trolling to a whole new level of dedication

To summarize what Nolan-Kun did was this: Two years before any of this drama started, Nolan-kun discovered VS and realized an epic lolcow in the making. He decided to befriend him and have intimate relations with the whale himself. Normally when one has sex with a fatass they keep it to themselves and likely only did it because they were intoxicated or paid, Nolan-Kun does it with ulterior motives. His purpose was to get the dox of VS as well as some of the hideous videos regarding the sexual shaking of various rolls of fat seen above. Nolan-kun has gained the trust of VS to the point that VS doesn't believe that Nolan-kun is actually doing all of this of his free will and is being brainwashed by his girlfriend who is secretly a troll. Somehow VS has convinced some woman who is clearly hotter than him to become his wife. This goes to show you that there is no excuse for you still being a virgin. According to Nolan-kun's last comment, there will be more drama unfolding shortly.

Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery Of Trolling

OH EXPLOITABLE!! Click here to create your own Vampiric-Spektor insta-memes!
   
“ 		 
ITS NOT A FUCKING LUMP! ITS A GODDAMN BRUISE! forget it...you're a goddamned moron...my words are LOST to you
  		„
  		 

—VS

See also

External Links

File:Vampiricspektor and boyfriend?.png
Well, at least they won't breed

His Her Accounts


VampiricSpektor is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

VampiricSpektor is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal
VampiricSpektor

is part of a series on

Taking Down ED

[Retreat!Do It Faggot]
Distinguished Individuals

03bgood • 2cash • abigblueworld • Adezero • aediot • Aeverine Nieves • Akai Dalia • Angel Locsin • A Man in Black • Argent009 • Asalieri • Aush0k • Bill9929 • Brian Martin • Chris-chan • Chrissie Barmore • CircaRigel • Clayranger89 • Daniel Brandt • DivineAngel • Donald Buffkin/Tablecow • Donny Long • drp1zza • ED Singers • Elizabeth Minami Wyvill • Erin Anthony • Feltcho • Flardox • Girlvinyl • Grace Saunders • Hayakain • Icewillow9 • Intellectual Checkmate • Ilovemydoodle • JDubs • Jim Profit • Keegan Salisbury • Kevin Martin • Libertarian Fox • Linkaton Furaito • Love Shy • Lulz in hell Trollfags • Ljupco Steriev • Marjan Siklic • Meowbark • Mike Sandy • moot • Nate Spidgewood • Oliver D. Smith • Onideus • Pacificoceanasia • Paul Fetch • PixelBeeProductions • Preachingthegospel• Prince Jeremy • PrinceDumuzi • Purelily • Robert Wayne Stiles • Rootbrian • Rusty Ray • Sceptre • SheWolf • Sirius Orionis • SpleeNfat • Steve Hodder-Watt • Sue Basko • Tom Newton • VampiricSpektor • VideoGamePhenom • Vordrak • Wwwarea • YandereDev • Zenny

Noble Internet Entities

Anontalk • Anti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.com • Conservapedia • DeviantART • encyclopediadramatica.wiki • Failcyclopedia • Josephevers.blogspot.com • Metafilter • MyAdopts • Namecheap • OhInternet • RationalWiki • Ripoff Report • Ultraviolet News Network • Uncyclopedia • VidLii • WikiFur • Wikipedia

Glorious Civilizations

Aborigines • Australia • Canada • China • France • Malaysia • Philippines • Tunisia

Related Subjects and Methods

Censorship • DDoS • Free Speech • Get a Lawyer • Hacking • Make a Petition • Notify the FBI • Serious Business • SOPA • The Græt Niggercide of Old ED • Writing an article for Uncyclopedia • You vs. ED

Featured article February 16, 2010
Preceded by
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Epic Beard Man
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