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Miami: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:743px-HurricaneAndrew.jpg|thumb|[[OMG]] I can see my house from here!]]
[[Image:743px-HurricaneAndrew.jpg|thumb|left|[[OMG]] I can see my house from here!]]
'''Miami''' is a spic infested shithole in the Caribbean. It is the largest city in Cuba and the sixth largest city in [[Latin#Latin America|Latin America]]. It is named after an [[India]]n tribe from Ohio (go figure). Some [[jews|old people]] still continue to claim that Miami is actually a part of South [[Florida]] but they merely suffer from [[Alzheimers]] disease. It is [[common knowledge]] that the city has been ruled by Cubans since [[Fidel Castro]] conquered it in the Bay of [[Pig]]s Invasion of 1961.
'''Miami''' is the largest city in Cuba and the sixth largest city in [[Latin#Latin America|Latin America]]. It is named after an [[India]]n tribe from Ohio (go figure). Some [[jews|old people]] still continue to claim that Miami is actually a part of South [[Florida]] but they merely suffer from [[Alzheimers]] disease. It is [[common knowledge]] that the city has been ruled by Cubans since [[Fidel Castro]] conquered it in the Bay of [[Pig]]s Invasion of 1961.


==Demographics==
==Demographics==
[[Image:Jolly.jpg|thumb|Typical Miami residents.]]
[[Image:Jolly.jpg|thumb|Typical Miami residents.]]
80[[%]] of Miami's population is Cuban while another 18[[%]] consists of [[Haiti]]ans, whom like to steal people's stuff. The remaining 2[[%]] of people live in either Pinecrest (all [[rich and beautiful]] upper-middle class [[Jews]]) or Homestead (all [[aids|black]]s, [[rape|Mexican]]s and [[republicans|redneck]]s). Miami's official language is [[Spanish]], although [[French|Haitian Creole]] comes quite close as well. [[American language|American]] is also spoken as a second language by a sub-significant minority of the population.
80% of Miami's population is Cuban who murder and steal and drive drunk and defecate in public, while another 18[[%]] consists of [[Haiti]]ans, who like to steal people's stuff. The remaining 2[[%]] of people live in either Pinecrest (all [[rich and beautiful]] upper-middle class [[Jews]]) or Homestead (all [[aids|black]]s, [[rape|Mexican]]s and [[republicans|redneck]]s). Miami's official language is [[Spanish]], with [[French|Haitian Creole]] coming in a close second. [[American language|American]] and Yiddish are also spoken mainly in geriatric homes.  
[[Image:305eye.jpg|thumb|]]
<center><youtube>ZWzCmeURev0</youtube>
</center>
[[Image:305eye.jpg|thumb]]


==History==
==History==
Miami was shortly colonized [[at least 100]] years ago by [[Jews]] from [[New York]] and [[New Jersey]] who were too lazy to switch time zones for the beautiful scenic beaches in [[Hawaii]] or the polluted coast of [[California]]. From this, Miami has evolved from a crime-ridden city to a black person with with a [[gay|rich]] area called "South Beach", in which only tourists and [[gay]]s go there.
Miami was shortly colonized [[at least 100]] years ago by [[Jews]] from [[New York]] and [[New Jersey]] who were too lazy to switch time zones for the beautiful scenic beaches in [[Hawaii]] or the polluted coast of [[California]]. From this, Miami has evolved from a crime-ridden city to a black person with with a [[gay|rich]] area called "South Beach", to which only tourists and [[gay]]s venture.
Scarface died here.
Scarface is buried in Miami.  


==Climate and Geography==
==Climate and Geography==
[[Image:Golden_shower.jpg|thumb|Typical '''Spring Break''' activity, the Wet T-Shirt Contest.]]
[[Image:Golden_shower.jpg|thumb|Typical '''Spring Break''' activity, the Wet T-Shirt Contest.]]
Miami has 2 seasons: summer and hurricane. Miami gets up to [[42]]00 inches of rain each year and virtually every day the sky is cloudy. Despite this, Florida is still called the "Sunshine State".
Miami has 2 seasons: summer and hurricane. Miami gets up to 4200 inches of rain each year and virtually every day the sky is cloudy. Florida is still called the "Sunshine State" because sunny character of its [[gay|joyous]] residents.  


Due to its location next to the Everglades swampland, Miami is filled with stray crocodiles and alligators, thus, you can even find them in your own backyard. Because whiny [[hippies|environmentalist]] [[leftard]]s have placed them on the Endangered Species List, crocodiles cannot be harmed by law, with possible punishment by [[death]] (thus putting them in higher importance than Haitian immigrants). Alligators, on the other hand, are plentiful and are free to be killed and sold in the market for a penny each. In fact, one of Jeb Bush's major campaign promises in 2002 was guaranteeing "a gator in every pot".
Due to its location on top of the Everglades swampland, Miami abounds with stray crocodiles and alligators which take the place of the more Anglo raccoons on foreclosed houses' backyards. Because whiny [[hippies|environmentalist]] [[leftard]]s have placed them on the Endangered Species List, crocodiles cannot be harmed by law, with possible punishment by [[death]] (thus putting them rightly in higher legal protection than Haitian immigrants).  


Miami is also well known for its beautiful, scenic beaches. Many [[unemployed|college students]] flock to the area every [[Spring Break]] to party, drink [[beer]], take [[drug]]s, and have [[List of sex moves|various kinds of sex]]. Some people even love to go for a swim at the beach. And if you don't mind the eye-burning ocean saltwater, the stray jellyfish [[tentacle rape|tentacles]], and the constant [[sharking|shark attacks]], it really is quite a fun and relaxing activity.
Miami is also well known for its irreversible eroded beaches. Many [[unemployed|college students]] flock to the area every spring break to party, drink [[beer]], take [[drug]]s, and have [[List of sex moves|various kinds of sex]]. Some people even love to go for a swim on to international waters to retrieve packages lost at sea in a uniquely South Floridan version of treasure hunt.  


==Economy==
==Economy==
Aside from urban crime and [[drug]]-trafficking, Miami's economy also depends heavily on cocaine, crack, marijuana, street racing, and [[fag|Ricky Martin]]. Major imports in Miami are Cubans, Haitians, Jamaicans, cigars, and [[drug]]s. Exports include but are not limited to mangoes, [[cock|bananas]], [[vagina|guavas]], palm trees, and skin cancer. Miami's leading industry [[Prostitute|prostitution]] which can be found on any avenue of 8th street. It is a well known fact that 8th street is the first part that Cubans took over after the Bay of Pigs.
Aside from urban crime and [[drug]]-trafficking, Miami's economy also depends heavily on [[fag|Ricky Martin's]] book signings. Major imports in Miami are Cubans, Haitians, Jamaicans, cigars, and [[drug]]s. Exports include but are not limited to mangoes, [[cock|bananas]], [[vagina|guavas]], GTA Vice City cityscape inspiration, and skin cancer. Miami's leading industry [[Prostitute|prostitution]] spread from 8th street but can now be found on any avenue and back alley. It is a well known fact that 8th street is the first part that Cubans took over after the victory of Bay of Pigs.


==Famous Miamians==
==Famous Miamians==
[[File:October2016HurricaneAtlantic.gif|thumb|right|Oct 2016 hurricane]]
* [[MILF|Gloria Estefan]]
* [[MILF|Gloria Estefan]]
* [[Ass|Jennifer Lopez]]
* [[Ass|Jennifer Lopez]]
* [[Vanilla Ice]]
* [[OJ Simpson]]
* [[OJ Simpson]]
* [[Officer Ricky]]
* [[Officer Ricky]]
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* [[Jews]]
* [[Jews]]
* [[Your mom]]
* [[Your mom]]
* [[user:justinr305|justinr305]]
* [[user:Abdul|Abdul]]
* [[AJcomix]]
* [[AJcomix]]
* [[Rick Sanchez]]
* [[Rick Sanchez]]
* [http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/v/Gianni%20Versace/taken%20to%20the%20hospital.JPG Gianni Versace]
 
==See Also==
*[[Grand Theft Auto: Vice City]] - Accurate portrayal of the city
*[[Dumbfuckistan]]
*[[Cocaine]], [[Anal Sex]], [[Meth]], [[Cuba]]
*[http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/v/Gianni%20Versace/taken%20to%20the%20hospital.JPG Gianni Versace]
 
{{life}}
{{Unitedstates}}
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Locations]]

Latest revision as of 12:44, 6 October 2016

OMG I can see my house from here!

Miami is a spic infested shithole in the Caribbean. It is the largest city in Cuba and the sixth largest city in Latin America. It is named after an Indian tribe from Ohio (go figure). Some old people still continue to claim that Miami is actually a part of South Florida but they merely suffer from Alzheimers disease. It is common knowledge that the city has been ruled by Cubans since Fidel Castro conquered it in the Bay of Pigs Invasion of 1961.

Demographics

Typical Miami residents.

80% of Miami's population is Cuban who murder and steal and drive drunk and defecate in public, while another 18% consists of Haitians, who like to steal people's stuff. The remaining 2% of people live in either Pinecrest (all rich and beautiful upper-middle class Jews) or Homestead (all blacks, Mexicans and rednecks). Miami's official language is Spanish, with Haitian Creole coming in a close second. American and Yiddish are also spoken mainly in geriatric homes.

History

Miami was shortly colonized at least 100 years ago by Jews from New York and New Jersey who were too lazy to switch time zones for the beautiful scenic beaches in Hawaii or the polluted coast of California. From this, Miami has evolved from a crime-ridden city to a black person with with a rich area called "South Beach", to which only tourists and gays venture. Scarface is buried in Miami.

Climate and Geography

Typical Spring Break activity, the Wet T-Shirt Contest.

Miami has 2 seasons: summer and hurricane. Miami gets up to 4200 inches of rain each year and virtually every day the sky is cloudy. Florida is still called the "Sunshine State" because sunny character of its joyous residents.

Due to its location on top of the Everglades swampland, Miami abounds with stray crocodiles and alligators which take the place of the more Anglo raccoons on foreclosed houses' backyards. Because whiny environmentalist leftards have placed them on the Endangered Species List, crocodiles cannot be harmed by law, with possible punishment by death (thus putting them rightly in higher legal protection than Haitian immigrants).

Miami is also well known for its irreversible eroded beaches. Many college students flock to the area every spring break to party, drink beer, take drugs, and have various kinds of sex. Some people even love to go for a swim on to international waters to retrieve packages lost at sea in a uniquely South Floridan version of treasure hunt.

Economy

Aside from urban crime and drug-trafficking, Miami's economy also depends heavily on Ricky Martin's book signings. Major imports in Miami are Cubans, Haitians, Jamaicans, cigars, and drugs. Exports include but are not limited to mangoes, bananas, guavas, GTA Vice City cityscape inspiration, and skin cancer. Miami's leading industry prostitution spread from 8th street but can now be found on any avenue and back alley. It is a well known fact that 8th street is the first part that Cubans took over after the victory of Bay of Pigs.

Famous Miamians

Oct 2016 hurricane

See Also
Miami
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