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Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Serving 16,473 articles since December 10th, 2004
Krampus is a Southern Germanic/Austrian myth/folk lore about a demonic companion of Saint Nicholas that is believed to have originally been the son of the Norse Goddess of the underworld Hel. Because if anyone was going to take one look at Christmas and say "this needs a child-beating demon", of fucking course it would be the Germans. Like so many Germanic traditions dealing with the Christmas season like the Christmas tree, Scat porn, beer for kids and concentration camps, it was depaganized, bastardized and incorporated by the Catholic church to pull in converts.
The current traditions and stories follow with the idea that the Krampus tags along with Saint Nicholas during the Christmas Season when he's sneaking into kids' houses to take pictures of them when they're on the toilet to punish naughty and wicked children in contrast to Saint Nicholas' rewarding all the good and well behaved children with toys and other desired gifts for remembering to leave their curtains open when they are changing.
Like most things that require reading, an attention span, an interest in foreign cultures or anything that may exist outside their CuntBook feed, most Americunts had no idea that the Krampus even existed until The Venture Brothers did a Christmas special introducing the Krampus as a Christmas figure in their 2004 episode A Very Venture Christmas. Like most new and good ideas that are introduced elsewhere and looking to hide his lack of creativity with his open theft of other people's creativity and ideas, Seth MacFarlane quickly latched onto this brand new, readily available Public Domain character like a hungry deer tick and has been sucking it off for all it is worth every Christmas, since 2010, in his American Dad revision of Family Guy until what was a decent idea was anally raped to death and no one even cared when a Krampus movie was released in 2015.
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"
Remember that feeling you used to get,
Like a kid on Christmas Eve.
With all your might, you just couldn't fight,
The excitement of frenzied greed."
— Lucas Smith
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