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Warriors
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This article needs a serious clean up
Somebody should do something about it. |
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Warriors is a childrens book series about cats that has over 9000 books in all, created by three women with no imagination. The topic has created an heroes throughout the world. The books, if you can even call them that, have at least 100 characters. Popular since last Thursday, Warriors is one of the most overhyped things in existance. The fandom is mostly comprised of mary sues.
The author was primarily inspired by cats, mythology, and nature, but steadily became more influenced by fan fiction, Sonichu, Hitler, and drugs. The series, in the end, resembled Caturday's three-way Vegas love-child with Dragon Ball Z and Kingdom Hearts, but with less lazers and more whining.
Characters
- Rusty/Fire/-paw/-heart/-star: A house cat that wants to be wild, then becomes leader. After that, he's an old gay guy.
- Gray/-paw/-strip: The prized buttbuddy of Fire-whatever. He used to be useful, but now just sits around and wonders why he wasted his life fucking so many whores and doing drugs.
- Tiget/-claw/-star: Hitler. Turns whatever clan he's in into Nazis. (It's not as awesome as it sounds though...)
- Ravenpaw: Total nigger who runs away from his clan as soon as (above cat) starts causing trouble. He runs off to a farm where he becomes an old white cat's slave. Not racist at all.
BlueballsBluestar: Regrets how many dicks she's taken in the ass in her life. She dies.- Brambleclaw: Hates his father.
- Hawkfrost: Cliche villain of the second arc. Has a gory death.
- Lionblaze: God mode
- Jayfeather: The most likable protagonist of the series, this cat constantly bitches about how much everyone around him sucks ass.
- Hollyleaf: (w)Horeleaf suffered from Special Snowflake Syndrome to the point where once reality hit her, she turned psychopathic and nearly an heroed. In other words, she's an accurate representation of the fanbase
- Dovewing: The last of "The Three".
- There's over 9000 more.
The First Arc
The series that started all the epicness, and caused many children to love these books.
Into the Wild: Rusty, a normal house cat, goes into the forest and fights a wild cat oh so cleverly named Greypaw (he has grey fur). Greypaw tells Rusty all about the four wild clans. Then Bluestar the ThunderClan leader and Lionheart come out of nowhere and accuse Rusty of tresspassing. Bluestar invites Rusty to ThunderClan. Rusty joins and becomes an apprentice by the name of Firepaw. Will Rusty be fully acccepted into the clan? Will Thunderclan survive another leafbare?
Fire and Ice: Nothing. Greystripe meets a nice young cat.
Forest of Secrets: OMG TIGERCLAW ATTACKS BLUESTAR1!!! Greystripe fucks his girlfriend so hard she dies.
Rising Storm: Bluestar becomes moar emo. The cats catch on fire.
A Dangerous Path: OMFG BLUESTAR DIES SAVING FIREHEART!! TIGERCLAW IS THE LEADER OF SHADOWCLAN!!!
The Darkest Hour: Scourge, an alley cat, kills Tigerstar. Firestar then avenges his gay lover and kills Scourge.
The New Prophecy
If The First Arc wasn't bad enough, there's a second series.
Midnight: Brambleclaw, Squirrelpaw and cats nobody cares about all go on a long journey to the ocean to meet with a badger who talks like Yoda. Wat.
Moonrise: Feathertail dies.
Dawn: All the clans move to a lake.
Starlight: Nothing.
Twilight: Nothing.
Sunset: HAWKFROST IS KILLED BY BRAMBLECLAW.
Power of Three
The series is now about magical trio of cats with one having magical powers to go into other cat's dreams. I'm not shitting you. Erin Hunter sure did sell out to the fanfictions! Also, there's a ~~*mystery*~~ that even the retarded 13-year old girls knew what was going to fucking happen by the first goddamn book.
The Sight: Nothing.
Dark River: Nothing.
Outcast: Nothing.
Eclipse: Nothing.
Long Shadows: OMG JAYFEATHER, LIONBLAZE AND HOLLYLEAF AREN'T SQUIRRELFLIGHT'S KITS!!1!!1!
Sunrise: OMG HOLLYLEAF KILLED ASHFUR!1!!!1! THEN SHE KILLED HERSELF!!!
Omen of the Stars
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHEN WILL IT STOP
The Fourth Apprentice: Everyone gets killed by beavers. Rippletail is killed by a large beaver.
Fading Echoes: Firestar quits being a faggot. Oh and LONGTAIL DIES!!1!1
Night Whispers: Dovepaw becomes Tigerheart's whore, Ivypaw stops being a bitch, and Flametail drowns like the faggot he is.
Sign of the Moon nothing
The Forgotten Warrior Forgettable book.
The Last Hope Ghosts get into fights. Erin proves that she's catering to the underage girl target audience by erasing one of Firefag's whores so he SHOULDN'T CHOOSE WOH HE HAS TA BE IN LOVE WIT WHEN HE GOES TO TEH AFTERLIFE, instead of making him a pimp, which would have at least made the book readable.
Super Editions
If the books weren't already boring enough, there's ones in tl;dr version!
Firestar's Quest: Sandstorm finds out Firestar is cheating on her with Spottedleaf.
Bluestar's Prophecy: Everyone dies.
Skyclan's Destiny: Some cats do some shit. Has nothing to do with anything.
Crookedstar's Promise: Some kit breaks his jaw and his mom abandons him.
Field Guides
Why?
Secrets of the Clans: Shit.
Code of the Clans: Boring. Shows the laws of the clans.
Battles of the Clans: OMG THEY'RE LIEK, FIGHTING CATS
Mangas
For all the weeaboos and furfags.
Graystripe's Adventure: Three books about how Graystripe meets Mille. They go on an adventure.
Ravenpaw and Barley: Two gay cats sit around a barn.
Rise of Scourge: Completely ruins the point of the only actual evil character.
There's a lot more.
The Fans
The fantards of this series are possibly worse than the Twilight fantards. Every failed abortion in the fandom has no artistic skill, an IQ below 70, and no writing skill. They're all 12 year old girls, and they believe that Jew is a real religion. They must say "Oh my StarClan" instead of Oh my God. The fantards believe that every piece of art ever of a cat is Warriors related, and therefor always ask "OMG WAT WARRIOR CAT IS THIS??". The fantards like to draw crappy MS Paint drawings of Warrior cats and post them on devianTART.
Forums
The Warriorcats forums is a mishmash of kids, noobs,spammers,and about three or four intelligent people (though you never see them, because they're banned). At the heart of the WCF is Off-Topic Discussions, which is mostly filled with "chatrooms" and meaningless gossip threads (which eventually become chatrooms).
Roleplayers
Recently, a bunch of furgfag otherkins have made Warriors Roleplay sites where they pretend to be their own Mary Sue cats and have buttsecks with each other. Although these sites are scattered around the internets, most can be found on Wetpaint, a shitty wiki-host site where emofags can make websites about their pierced nipples and bawwww about their lack of a life. Notorious among these "roleplay" sites is Lunastar's Quest. The site is full of furfags who think that they are incredibly creative because they named their character "Glitterkit" and gave them a tragic past that no one cares about. The site creator, LunaStar, is an uptight Jew bitch who gets butthurt when anyone draws a picture of a cat because she claims to have invented the style in the first place.
Kugyay
Pretty much the best out of the disappointments listed here...Clans are about one thousand fucking pages long and every character ever sits in a clearing and talks OOC. Seriously though. It's infested with girls who want some good dick, and people who actually know how to write a good post, (but its like a 50/50 mix) and noobs. They spend their time sitting in The Clearing, ignoring each other and commenting on the weather, which thankfully changes often. Fortunately Nekos became majorly butthurt about not having a home so Kugyay's unmoderated and fucking immature younger brother Neko Kugyay was born. It's basically the same except everyone is gay, bi, or scene. and has fangs and a dick longer than the Great Wall of China. The only true difference is that Neko Kugyay is a huge endless gang bang whereas on Kugyay sexing is FORBIDDEN and if you get caught doing it you will get DELETED FROM THE FUCKING INTERWEBZ!!!1!!11ONE11ONE11!1!111!!!! Yeah, Kugyay is some hardcore shit. Thankfully only decent roleplayers are left, because its better than it was.
Viper's Site
Because the person who added this info was a retard, the actual name of the site is unknown at this time.
Because Shadowclan just wasn't badass enough, this furry made itself it's very own site where over 9000 'evil' cats gathered to learn how to become Nazis. People still worship him even if he completely ditched this site of his and comes on every 5 months only to tell that he's too tired to lead them all to apocalypse and that he has to take his fuckin pills because he has ADD. Butthurt oldfags and attention whore Mary Sues constantly try to take him and the rest of the Hitler Youth but there's just so fucking many of them that it's almost impossible (get a bunch of Mary Sues in a room and watch them pretend to fight. It's always so hilariously awful). Larkfur or something. He spent like a whole day making an army to pwn the Vipers with but when he did, his faggish rp brother called Dare or something pwnd him. It is noted that the basement dweller who plays Larkfur was extremely butthurt and ranted on in like four fucking journals on his/her dA. Get a life, faggot. The wickens think they're badass, and that they can decapitate everyone with their magical demon powers. In reality, most of the site is filled with spams by spammers who have more life than all those noobs begging to join Viper's shit army.
For those who liek teh animal smex check out another shitty site called www.freewebs.com/lovefox-female or some shit like that. It's a never-ending orgy with things like 'pEBBLEPAW MOANED WIV PLESUR ND CUMD IN HIS MOUTH' and 'BIG HORNY TOM: *looks around with a boner*' I'm not even kidding. Troll the fuck outta this place and just wait for the lulz to come rushing in.
Warrior Cats RPG Feralfront
This site is one of the crème de la crème of Warrior-fan trolling potential. Imagine a vast, open land filled with closet and unrealized furries, "random" people, assburgers, weeaboos, so much more. Users typically fall into one of three genders: female, undefined, and transgender (or so they claim).
The actual roleplay consists of the standard Mary Sue orgies, Mary Sue fights, Mary Sue chats, and... you get the idea. Every other post is either a forbidden love thread or a "Bloodpussy is intruding and stealing prey!" thread. Every once in a while though, the mods post an original event, such as "IT'S RAINING SLIME!" or "Halloween Warrior Cats Star Trek Crossover!" By 13 year old girls... for 13 year old girls. The site also supports roleplay of other franchises, because the administration just doesn't know when to stop. Deja vu? Clans in this site are run by moderators who basically listen jack shit to the users and just do whatever the hell they want while the user base plays along. Events basically boil down to this formula, where mods just ignore the zerg rush of roleplay newfags and just try to get the thread over with. It's like watching really bad porn; you're not actually part of the fucking. All you can pretend to play along and feel disgusted afterwards.
The community here is about on par with SJW in how fucked up they are with double standards. Unsurprising, really, since most of the users are preteen cunts. Sexism is discouraged while a fan-made clan is hosted based around the culture of turning male cats into slaves for the sadistic pleasure of the female cats. You are free to have any religion you want for your cat because "EVRY1 HAS FREE SPEECH!" (Even though most of the clans are communist), but you cannot express a belief against homofags. You can go into all of the agonizing detail of a cat being skinned alive you want as long as you mark the thread as mature, but posting anything involving a real mutilated cat will result in ban.
Members who join the forum have access to the Support Center. This problem/help subforum is filled with whining whores too stupid to know when they're going through puberty, fags who haven't come out of the closet, and stupid horny Christian girls asking "DUZ DAH BIBLE SAY I CANTS GET PENIS IN MY BUTT?", "CHRISTCHAN GIRLS: HELP!! So I met this gai at biblecamp, and I think he likes me :XXXX" or whatever the fuck. The mods have a no rudeness policy, although most of the users are too stupid to fully wield the power of trolling. The mods, in reality, are moronic, going so far as to shut down several active and stickied threads because of one proxyfag who was spamming them. The community is hopelessly pro-faglove that they even allow users to create gay cats. Punishment is taken upon users who point out the truth that not only are gay people disgusting, but that cats don't understand human romance, and whenever they have male-on-male sex they are really asserting their dominance forcefully onto the cat receiving. Yes, this disgusting, violent rape is encouraged here while protest is not. Of course, if the users cared about facing reality, they wouldn't be pretending to be cats in mad power fantasies in the first place!
Because the site targets 13 year old girls and children, unless an emergency is involved, accounts do not require email verification. This may change in the future, however, so make good use of it while it lasts. Hell, the only reason why this place hasn't had a giant virtual cock shoved into it is because that nobody cares to troll a site this easy.
Three words describe this site very well: asking for it.
Currently, the entire fucking forum is on fire because the admins are egocentric retards. We'll have more on that 100 years after figuring out what the fuck happened.
Warriors: Into the Forest
Hateful warriors roleplay run by wannabe community bigshot known as Coalie. Was co-run by Coalie and and fellow attention-mongerer Smalls, but apparently the dynamic duo had an epic falling out when Smalls ragequit and took half of her graphics with her like a true team player. But don't worry, they're still BFFs who just can't run a site together!!1! That itself should show you what you're dealing with.
Basically, the main idea on the forum is to join and then kiss the admin's ass and tell them how beautiful their layout is and "omg coalie ur posts are liek so inspiring to me wow" because that's all the admin wants to hear. They don't give two shits about their members or guests - their relationship with the guest community is in fact so bad, they had to hide the site chatbot. Apparently by making it members only, by the time a guest joins to see it its too late to escape the cult of Coalie. Being a member automatically requires you to bend over backwards on a daily basis and let her know how awesome she is, because, if not, she'll make a podcast about you.
Don't you dare criticize this person or attempt to advise them on making the site better. You will either be banned, bashed in the site's chatbox, your comment deleted, or all three (not necessarily in that order). Coalie is obviously perfect and does not need to be told what to do by anyone, and has her loyal band of skanks to back her up on that fact. She will put down and harass her own members in front of everyone on the forum, but if you dare speak a word against her, she'll cover it up fast and then pretend to preach about "honesty" and "transparency". Yeah right, asshole.
Toontown Online
A bunch of faggots decided that Toontown, a game for children, was suitable for their shitty roleplaying escapades. The most common warrior is royal blue, but only 13 year old girls actually make their cats dark blue. Tons of drama ensues. Usually, they fight by putting hyphens around text and using wolfspeak to concoct moves such as '- brothers claws into inner enzymes, diminish, blur belly -' and '- claws nick relay hard making dye no miss no dodge -'. The most common names are similar to 'Depressedsoul' and 'Amnesiapain'. Only whores roleplay here. Troll-free!
YouTube
A breeding ground for all Warriors fantards. There are 9001 videos that are Warrior Cats realated, and most of them are either crappy slideshows done on Windows Movie Maker, or crappy MS Paint animations. (with maybe a very minor exceptions)
AlliKatNya
God of the Warrior cats population on YouTube, AlliKatNya is one of the worst animators of all time. Her cats look like anorexic rats with tufts of hair, and her animation ideas have been used over 9000 times. People tend to copy her style directly, thinking her style is OMG SO GOOD!! Even YOU can draw better than this furfag.
She's still active on Youtube, though she's long since erased most of her animations.
DarkKokiri
Voted most likely to become an hero in highschool.
Frostbitethewarrior Frostbite(Mellodee): CATZ CATZ LOL HURRR XDDDDD DANDAN WANNA RP LOL Sbcatfang(steph): BEEELE HURRRR I'm not a Faggot so I don't have a cat name(Danny): ...Not really
LisaMini32
Is some underaged kitty drawer who can't help but get easily pissed because she has anger problems. She is an hero, according to Dumfuck123LOLZ!'s interview.
Bluekyokitty even you can draw better.
SSS Warrior Cats
Probably the most decent Warriors animations in Youtube. Was created (and animated) by a Chinese dude (who somehow ended up leaving the animation team). However, the current animators are lazy asses and takes forever to finish a single animation. Started in 2008, but only managed to make 8 parts (3 episodes) of around 6 to 12 minute animations.
Moonkitti
An "animator" who "ironically" makes shitty drawings in MSPaint, then overlays them in crude animations that would have been considered bad in 2004's Newgrounds. Famous for summarizing the main series books with 'hilarious' recaps, animating Starkit's Prophecy "ironically," and getting the people who run the Warriors Wikia page to sperg out over Twitter about the eye color of one of the main characters to the point where the wiki admins had a Twitter meltdown over it and got into a massive slapfight.
TennelleFlowers
A so-so animator who wastes her time taking these books seriously, and makes every characters' ears too big. Notable for being one of the only members of the fandom to actually go out and do something with her life and actually made a game inspired by the series. Meanwhile I'm just sitting here... saying I'll go learn Unreal Engine tomorrow... when I could be doing that instead of wasting my time writing about happy people who actually doing something with their lives...
...Oh god...
See Also
External Links
- The actual site
- The official forums
- "Wonderful" animations
- Weeaboo Furfaggotry
- Fantard faggot
- The 'biggest Warriors site on the web.' It has a forum.
- The RPG with the admin too stubborn to shut the hell up and quit
- The one with the asshole administration
- Asking for it.
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Warriors is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
