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Socializing
Oh, hello thar. Chances are, if you looked up this article, you need advice on how to socialize. If you clicked here by mistake, fuck off. This step by step guide will show you how to be a winrar and not fail it when it comes to meeting new people. If you consider yourself a winner and you think you don't need this guide, think again. You'll need as much help as you can get if you honestly think that, especially in the area of interacting with the inferior species.
Meeting New People
The first thing you must do after leaving the basement is go out to attempt to meet new people. Popular places to do so are:
- Clubs (No, not a good one).
- The Park (Don't work).
The internetsNO! That's what you're trying to get away from!- The Bus (Not there either, full of passengers you dare to sit next with, one of them calls himself Jesus Christ).
- Shopping Malls (Nope).
- Strip Clubs (Where to find a single Mom).
- Brothels (and street corners for working women).
- Bars (and in Amsterdam, Pot shops).
If you are too young and do not have access to such places, you can still meet new people at:
- School (it's the law, kids).
- Parties (
parentally supervised of course lolparties unrestricted by parents are exposed to the possibility of severe alcohol abuse, drunk driving, and surprise sex), MOAR FUN by a game called lady has the baby in her tummy. - Myspace (Beware of pedophiles).
- Facebook (Beware of weirdos).
- Church (see conservative).
- Coffee bars (see liberal).
When approaching said new people, don't be a faggot and use retarded cliched or goofy lines such as "Waddup Dawg!", "Oh hey thar", "Can I sex you?", or "You want some coffee?". These have been scientifically proven to fail anywhere between 99 to 100%. If you are trying to make friends with someone of the same sex you may want to adopt the same language as them. Refer to women as "bitches" and "hoes" and squeeze your balls real hard. It's what all the black persons are doing.
If you have successfully been accepted by this group of new people then you may move on to the next step! If you somehow failed it then move to a different group of people and attempt again. If you fail it again, you are officially socially retarded.
How To Get In Their Panties
Once you have sexually attracted other guys its time to sexually attract the other sex. Women, moar commonly known as cumbuckets, cock storers or Dirty, dirty, filthy, skanky, bad, bad girls, are God's only decent creation, because they have bewbiez!! If you have enough charm, you may or may not possess the ability to get women to show you their boobies, or if you're lucky enough you may get to feel their boobies! Since you've been a basement dweller your whole life, you do not know wether or not you are a player with the white wimenz.
Things women are attracted to:
- Cocks at least 7+ inches
- Bulging abs, pecs, and biceps
- Tanned, non-hairy guys
- Guys with massive loads
Depending on what type of woman you meet, you may have to wait anywhere between a few hours to nevar to get some pussy. Its also wise to know what type of womenz you want. Are you attracted to a fat woman? A blonde woman? An Asian woman? You don't know yet, seeing as you've never seen a woman before. But don't worry. Thats what we're here for.
Great Pickup Lines
- 'Excuse me, but may I rub my junk against your ass in an act reminiscent of anal sex?'
- 'I couldn't help but notice my dick is not inside you.'
- 'Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.'
- 'Girl I can't help but to notice you, noticing me from across the room and I can't help but looking.'
- 'You are ugly and I could get a lot better, however will you have sex with me?'
- 'I would like to make a donation to your sperm bank.'
- 'Lets play Pearl Harber, I lay down and you blow me to heaven.'
- 'Can I touch your belly button...from the inside?'
If none of those lulzy pickup lines work, then I pity you. I really do.
Sean Connery's Voice Club For Men
If you somehow managed to fail it yet again, then there is still hope. As a final solution, do what every other failure does and pretend to be Sean Connery.
—Sean Connery | ||
Well hey, even if you can't get laid, you still have his pity, amirite?
Aftermath
If you have made it this far, congrats!! A winner is you! You have successfully managed to impress other dudes in a sea of alcohol and circlejerking and have lost your virginity! That, or you just decided to came here for the lulz. Now over the course of the next few years you must work your way up the chain in your little gang and become the Alpha Male. 'How do I became Alpha male?' I hear you ask. Impress your friends. Buy them a dog, give them some weed, give some beer, show them some porn. Any of these methods have been guaranteed to work. And on the side, you may want to invest in some hookers and blow.
Gallery
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Soon my friend, soon... -
That could be YOUR cock -
If you failed it you most likely made an ass of yourself like this -
If you fail it, not even this woman would want you
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If you get rejected, don't worry. Some women are into other womenJesus fucking Christ, look how huge the left one's pussy is! -
See Also
External Links
- If you managed to fail all of it then back to good ol' porn for you
These people will show you how they made friends!- Wikipedia article on Socializing
