Cameron Shaw

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Cameron Shaw clique is a group comprising of Cameron Shaw (a registered sex offender, rapist and murderer), and as many Christian teenagers (mostly female) as he can stuff down his Y-fronts in one go. The jury is out on whether Cameron is genuinely dangerous, although the concept of teenage girls socializing with him seems about as safe as trying to perform oral sex on a black widow.



Meet The Team

In the latter half of 2008, Team Shaw were as follows:

Debbi Newby

Note: There has been a degree of controversy about whether Debbi deserves a place on this article. The reason for her mention here becomes plain under ‘The Making of Beautiful Escape. Scroll down, read it, FFS. That’s what words are for.

Similarly, Ashley is mentioned here because of her cretinous refusal to lead a team properly, coupled with the dogged assurance that she’s fit to do so. Like Debbi, if she’s old enough to throw her weight around, she’s old enough to get a mention on here.

Both are also mentioned due to their adherence to Cameron Shaw and his ideals. For as long as they think his behaviour is okay, they remain here.

Debbi (or Debii, depending on which spelling she chose at the time) is a humorless, old-before-her-time, mouth-breathing, Batshit fundie who claims to be a support worker but is more interested in shitting her religious ideals down other peoples’ throats and then glorifying in her theological victory, much in the style of a pigeon that’s just crapped on your interview suit. Her witnessing results in a similar amount of mess, gagging and necessity of washing clothes (overnight soak in bleach and high washing temperature recommended to get that grade of bullshit out). A single, brainwashed, 16 year old virgin who claims never to have been depressed, she is certain that she has the life experience to help people. Left Team Shaw after an argument with Ashley, most likely on account of Ashley turning to atheism and this conflicting with Debbie's nutjob beliefs.


Batshit Debbi About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]



Choice quotes from a Q&A thread on Christian Teen Forums

25. Are your parents for dating or courting?

Courting.

26. Which are you for? Why?

Courting, generally shows that a guy is wiling to be more respectful.


29. Are your parents for casual dating? Are you?

No, and no.

30. What do they consider a serious relationship?

Someone who has talked to them first, asked their permission.


38. If so, are you allowed to hold hands? Hug? Kiss? More?

None of the above? Well, "church hugs" are okay, but nothing... romantic?

39. Do you appreciate these boundaries?

Yes.

40. Do you ever cross them against their wishes?

No, because their also my wishes.

41. Do your parents wish you to have your first kiss at your wedding?

Yes.

42. Do you yourself wish to wait?

Yes.

43. Do you resent any of your parent's boundaries?

Not really.

44. Do you have more boundaries for yourself than your parents have for you?

Yes.


Additional piety from Debbi on CTF:

"I try very hard, but it's hard for me to be patient with you. I pray that Christ gets a hold of you, and turns that pride into compassion.

I wish you would sell out 100%. God could use you so much more."

Ashley

Ashley is a 16 year old girl who has known Cameron since around 2006. She lives less than an hour’s travel from him, has an IRL friendship with him and attempted to start a series of teen help forums with him. When Cameron first appeared on TNR she was as appalled by his fuckwittery as everyone else. But she emailed him, was pwned into believing he’s safe, met up with him in person and is now convinced he is the mutt’s nuts. Ashley is not particularly well-known for standing her ground. She changes her declarations of religious belief, allegiances and so on to suit whoever she’s talking to, although has lately appeared to have grown a semblance of a backbone in that department.

Ashley the Wet Fish About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Cameron's Back Story

Cameron first visited The Narrow Road, a Christian-based teen help forum, about 2 years ago. His first post advocated rape: I AM the abuser. He trolled in this way for a while, e.g., I'll always enjoy it. TNR’s only active moderator, Lyn, responded by asking why he was in such pain; the reason she didn’t take a harder line is lost to the mists of time as Lyn has not signed into TNR since 3rd June 2008, but is thought to be because she’s got a severe case of All Christians are Teh Bestest!!11!1.

Meet Compulsive Liar Cameron About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Then, out of the blue, he claimed that he’d turned his life around and given himself over to the Invisible Sky-Fairy. Presumably asking forgiveness from an invisible patriarch was easier than apologizing to the women he claims to have raped, although he does claim to have done that, the brave little soldier. In classic TNR fashion, this was enough to win him a positive majority vote, and he stayed (against the better judgment of unofficial moderator of TNR, Satine, although taking action on this was impossible due to Lyn’s conspicuous absence.).

The counselor plies his trade by insulting gays. This was particularly ill-judged as, in March 2009, his son came out.

Between 2006 and 2008, Cameron posted there, mostly doing a sweet guy/eager puppy routine, telling everyone how his life was going and lapping up the praise he got there, which was in many ways reminiscent of porn stars on their hands and knees licking up the spoils of their male co-stars. The owners of TNR got bored of their teen forum project and fucked off ages ago, so Cameron effectively had free access to the teen girls there, unmonitored. On occasion he'd post advice, but considering his claim to be in his mid-thirties with a wide variety of life experience, plus the fact that he claimed to be a social worker and public speaker, he was about as much use as a saddle for a maggot.

Despite claiming to be a registered offender, his name doesn't appear on any lists, suggesting that ‘Cameron David Shaw’ is probably a nom de plume. However, Wayne Kerr might have been a better choice, or even Justin Credible, judging by the inconsistencies in the different versions of his story.

Trivia: ‘Cameron David Shaw’ is an anagram of 'who minds a cadaver', which all in all, doesn’t sound like a bad idea. 'A shaman crowd dive' comes up too, if you care.

Cameron’s Life Story(ies)

The Cadaver’s life story is surprisingly hard to describe, not necessarily on account of this being the internet and stories being hard to verify, but because he has more than one of them. The following is a rough amalgamation.

He claims to have been a drug, alcohol and sex addict, three habits that began as a result of having a prostitute for a mother. Because of his resentment of her, he became a rapist “to get revenge on all women”. One girlfriend of his called the police in response to his raping her, which put him on the sex offenders list and sent him inside for three years. He decided to hunt her down and kill her afterward. However, when he discovered she had a partner and child, he acted the perfect gentleman and nobly killed the partner instead. She turned him in, he went to prison again and, when he came out (after a 2 year sentence, if his gobshite is to be believed), tried to find her again to be part of his child's life. He couldn't find her.

Years later, he stumbled across her again and freaked her out in a coffee shop, although he assures his audience that he had the noblest of intentions. They got talking (because most people would stop and talk to the man who’d raped them and murdered the love of their lives) and she began to trust him (your author suspects more lies). However, this arrangement invokes the occasionally-seen phenomenon of a lion rearing a lamb. True to form, the lion bit - he raped her again. Afterward, so he claims, she was utterly broken and became emotionally and mentally dependent on him. This is Cameronese for ‘we have a fulfilling and wonderful relationship with hearts and tiny wee bluebirds flitting about all over the place and everything’. His wife, assuming she exists, concurs. Meet Sarah Jane Shaw

Social worker Cameron plies his trade by announcing “WTF” at a troll over rape issues. Erudite to the last, is our Cameron.

Cameron claims to be a social worker. Either this, or his registered sex offender claim, must be bullshit as RSO’s cannot become social workers. More than that, he claims he is a social worker earning 250K+. Social workers do not command a salary this high; their re-numeration is closer to $35K. His claim to be a counselor is also suspect at best: counselors train for around seven years. Cameron has been clean for two years at the time of writing. A good counselor can earn $40.

Cameron has been hanging around on internet forums populated by vulnerable children and young adults for at least two years. He used to frequent The Suicide Forum, and here is his login, although he was banned by the admin in there for being weird as fuck.

Differences Between His Two Stories

  • In one, he has killed two people; in the other, he has killed around 30.
  • In one, he got a regular girlfriend at 16; in the other, he became homeless and decided women were scum.
  • In one, he succumbed to drugs and alcohol at 22; in the other, he developed his addictions at 16.
  • In one, his mother was seldom home; in the other, she worked as a prostitute from home.
  • In one, he claims never to have been happy; in the other, his latter teens were pretty good fun on account of having a long-term girlfriend.
  • In one, he went to jail once for rape and once for murder; in the other, he went once for rape and once for manslaughter.

Beautiful Escape

The Beautiful Escape is a forum that claims it’s out to help people, but instead is set up by fundies, for fundies, masquerading under the delusion that being very pious helps people. The admin and moderator pool offers little help, instead focusing on what your favorite Bible verse is, whether you’d hypothetically die for a Jewish zombie and what your personal details are.

The Making of Beautiful Escape

Cameron teamed up with Debbi and Ashley, and the three of them started a new help forum called OneLife. Satine was invited to be part of the team and she too joined.

No promotion of OneLife was ever done and, predictably, it died due to lack of anyone being arsed what happened to it. Your humble author hopes that Ashley has never owned a small mammal. A few months later, Ashley and Cam started another forum named Christian Help Forums Again, Satine was invited to mod. As OneLife had fallen on its face quicker than an alcoholic in a ball-bearing factory, Satine presumed that Ashley and Cameron might realise that promotion was necessary to get forum members to CHF, so she began to promote too. Did they felch-straws.

Mindful that they only seemed to want Christians on the board, Satine looked for Christian sites to advertise on. She was banned from several for the shocking crime of being an atheist. However, she kept trying. Satine guessed that Ashley had invited her into the otherwise Christian group because she wanted an atheist balance to the group. However, Ashley was distinctly uncommunicative about anything to do with the forum, so Satine put that down to Ashley being inexperienced, young and not realizing she was exhibiting the manners of a dead tapeworm. Satine continued to promote CHF.

One day Satine tried to visit Christian Help Forums, and the entire forum had disappeared. Ashley had let her continue promoting a forum that no longer existed. Satine found this irritating, but again put this down to Ashley’s inexperience.

…and Cameron rapes yet again!

When Ashley opened a third help forum (The Beautiful Escape - 'a teen help forum specializing in depression, rape, cutting and abuse'), Satine made effort to communicate with Ashyley, sending emails asking how much traffic she was getting and where from, whether she wanted Christians in particular or all teens as members, and so on. Ashley’s answer to all this was quite cavalier.

Satine spent many hours working on forums with a high teen density, trying to recruit new members. She adjusted her signature to include a link to Beautiful Escape on every post. On one occasion Satine posted in the Suicide Forum and got an instant message from the Cadaver. He said hello and, 'oh! You're promoting BE! That's brilliant!'. He, on the other hand, was not. He didn't post there much (and there were many opportunities to help people on that forum, which he didn't take), and his signature didn't have the BE link in it, even after he'd noticed that's how Satine was advertising. Satine began to suspect that she was being taken for a ride with this whole BE thing.

Ashley and Cameron had always had a habit of filling the help forums with pre-written articles about Christianity, and soon they began to appear on BE as well, somewhat like a virtual mould problem. Debbi and Ashley began to post persecution fantasies such as would you deny Him?, and other worthless cumcakes such as favorite Bible verse, The world's greatest radio show! (actually an advert for a fundie Christian radio show) and so on.

Possibly the most fuckwitted article of them all is an anonymous piece of shit called Dances with Wolves - one guy gives honest advice on sex and dating Cameron posted this on BE, stating that the author knew what he was talking about. Extract:

A merry game of defend-the-rapist. What japes!
   
 
Dating Advice #3:

That's somebody else's wife.

Here's what I mean: most of the girls I've been with are now married to other men. When I put myself in the shoes of those men, I wish that I hadn't done what I've done. In fact, I might even like to punch myself in the nose for it.

And so it goes without saying that when I get married, I'm not going to like the idea that someone else has had his way with my wife. What about you? Do you like the idea of someone else being with your wife? If you have a girlfriend now and feel that way, think of how much stronger that feeling will be with your wife someday.

You can even take it a step further. That girl is someone's daughter. What if she were my daughter? Or what if she were my sister? Would I want some guy like me taking advantage of her? I now see girls from a different perspective. They're someone else's future wife, someone else's daughter, sister, etc.
 


 
 

—Anonymous, the Dances with Wolves article

How much bullshit can you compress into one post?

Jesus never fell pregnant. He never snorted cocaine off the buttocks of a rent boy, he didn’t lose a leg playing chicken on Heathrow runway, and he didn’t carve the gospel into his arm. Therefore, Satine began to wonder how much good religion would do visitors who needed real-world help. She felt very sure that all the Bible stuff that was happening on BE was unhelpful, perhaps even detrimental. She began to challenge Cameron, Ashley, Debbi, Gunslinger (a fourth fundie) and their articles to restore balance.

She replied to Cam's simpering regurgitation of Dances with Wolves and he didn't reply until months later, by email. Instead of bringing the problem up with the group at large, Cameron quietly complained to Ashley human shield style, like a toddler hiding behind a spunky old cushion while being forced to watch Nightmare on Elm Street.

A couple of days later, Ashley demoted Satine to a regular member. Presumably this was easier than getting her team together and talking it over, and Gawd forbid that she shouldn't park her skinny rear on the fence; instead, it descended squarely onto the Shaman Crowd-Diver's cock.

Soon after, Cameron, who had previously spent a couple of years telling everybody that he'd left his raping/murdering past behind and 'found the Lord', confessed that he'd raped again. He said he'd got together with a group of fellow jail bait cunts he’d known for years and they went out drinking, took a group of girls home and gang-raped them. Cam also complained that his wife, Sarah, had got to hear about this, gone apeshit about it, and had chucked him out. He complained that this 'sucked' and continued that he was camping outside the family home until she gave in and let him back in. Perhaps this was his usual rape tactic: to bore the girls into giving in.

The replies he got about this from Debbi and Ashley were mostly along the lines of 'don't worry, bad things happen and it's not even that bad', and 'oh, poor you, how you've suffered!'.

Satine suggested that it was worth listening to his wife: Sarah’s reaction sounded reasonable. But she was ignored, and Ashley and Debbi fawned over the Cadaver like a pair of cockhunters, saying that his belief in God made him a good person and oh, how he'd suffered!

Cameron’s eventual justification of the Dances with Wolves article. Such as it is.

All of this did little for Satine’s health: she was promptly struck down with an acute attack of Tourette's Syndrome. She sent a PM to Cam and Ash. The PM is visible here. Cameron thought this was out of order and posted it publicly.

Satine has since admitted that she went overboard in that PM, but although she apologised at least twice, he kept on asking for more apologies.

Cameron being butthurt

Ash banned Satine, rendering her unable to respond. Cameron, in an attempt to salvage his sense of self-worth, posted a bullshit story about giving a lift to an old victim of his (who didn’t recognise his face but did recognise a throwaway comment he made), accidentally scaring the shit out of her, locking her into his car and then making bestest evah!!1 friends with her. Gunslinger joined in wanking over this.

A few of the TNR girls had woken up to the fact that Cameron wasn’t the harmless teddy bear he pretended to be, and his response to that was bitter to say the least.

Satine was also a member of Richard Dawkins' forum and the members there had been watching the drama going on since Dances with Wolves had been posted. They began to get uneasy with the Cadaver's creepiness.

Several registered and made their opinions known. After a brief flame war, Deb, Gunslinger and Cam deleted their accounts and Ash recruited masochist, a resident of TNR. This seemed a far better set-up to Satine and the RD.net group, and they left it at that.

What followed was a wonderfully dignified attempt on Cameron’s part to suck the collective cock of TNR, using his alleged middle name and a certain under-used punctuation mark.

David;

Cam tried to return to TNR, posing as a newcomer called 'David;'. He asked why Satine was showing so much 'hatred' toward Cam. His first post is here. He gave himself away by using an unusual emoticon (Cameron uses =] instead of the more usual colon and close-bracket) and by defending Cam so vehemently when he was apparently new to the group. The TNR group saw through his sockpuppetry, were epically unimpressed by the way he'd lied to get back into the group, and said they didn't want to hear from him again.

Cameron’s Retarded Middle Name Disguise Antics About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]



Satine sent an email to the National Association of Social Workers to ask whether Cameron was listed as a social worker. He was not.

A few months later

The big bods at the TNASW are unfamiliar with Cameron David Shaw.

Not long after the dramalulz had ended, Ash decided to give BE another try in March 2009 and re-added Satine as a mod, much to Satine’s surprise. This seemed reasonable, if a touch fuckwitted, except that Ashley made a colossal error of judgment and set the Cadaver up as admin staff. Satine insisted that she did not want to work with Cam due to still having genuine worries about him, but Ashley was convinced that Satine was being childish. Ashley’s perspective on the issue to date appears to be that Satine and Cameron are just having a personality clash.

The Cadaver sent Satine an email, and was quite pally with her. He talked about how his family were getting on, as if the ongoing drama of his larvae are of any interest to anybody whatsoever, apart from anybody wishing to catch a lolshark or three. Satine had none of it, and the result was a stroppy reply email in which the Cadaver bawwed a bit.

Ooh, Touchy!

Since the making of this article, somebody (assumed to be Ashley) has signed up as Satine2 and attempted to blank out all references to herself and Debbi, replacing some with random letters and some with Satine's name.

Story Version No. 3 and Miscellaneous Wank

Yes indeed, folks, The Cadaver has reared his cretinous, self-pitying head again! The following email was sent to Satine on July 7th 2009. Cameron, it seems, still wants access to TNR. Scroll on to read more on his staggering lack of insight and, please, try not to get carrot chunks on your keyboard. Your_Mom won't appreciate it:

Screencapped email of lol in question.
I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for the crap that I caused on TNR. A lot of the things that I said should never have been mentioned. Because some of the things were not true, I'll admit that. I was thinking about it all the other day and realized that maybe I should straighten things out. I won't blame my mother for raising me to be this person, I blame myself. Why did I feel as though I had to lie about some of my life? I don't know. My son looked up at me the other day and said "Dad, you're my hero, I want to be just like you." and that killed me. Because I thought about how I had lied about many things in my life, to a website full of vulnerable teenage girls. I looked at him and said "There are better hero's out there to look up to." But he smiled and said, "No, you're the best." So, as soon as I got away from work and kids, I got on here to write this. I'm not looking for sympathy or attention, I'm looking to end the fued, to finally call it quits, and give in. So, who am I? I'm Cameron Shaw, 37 years old, 38 in May. I'm married to Sarah Shaw, and I have five wonderful kids, Taya, Michael, Jessica, Elijah, and Karlee. I occasionally do public speaking in high schools to teens about life, sex, and marriage. And sometimes drugs. In hopes to make teens realize that it's not all fun and games out in the real world. When I'm not doing that, I stay at home, helping Sarah with keeping the house up and hanging out with my kids. I was on TNR the other day, reading some of the things that I had posted there, and the replies that I got, and I just kind of had to laugh at myself. How dumb some of the things I had said sounded, and how I really did seem like a creep.

So, summary of my life, grew up in a god-forsaken home with a whore for a mom, left home at 17 to live with Sarah and her parents. Hurt Sarah by cheating on her, didn't rape her, left there and lived on my own. Found myself in a relationship, got the girl pregnant, she never wanted to see me again (Taya's mother). Accidentally killed a pregnant woman in a car accident, sent me into a major depression, which made me drink more and do even more drugs. Ended up in an abusive relationship, where I beat and brutally raped her, got her pregnant (Michael and Jessica's mother). Raped another woman after I skipped out on her. Sobered up, then went back into the partying scene, and raped Sarah. Sobered up for the last time, got engaged to Kelsey, who cheated on me while on a trip with her old college friends. I left her, and then found Sarah a year later. You know the rest from there....

Like I said, I'm not asking for sympathy or attention. I just want to straighten things out. And if at all possible, maybe there could be a friendship between us. If not, that's fine and understandable. After I've talked to you about it, seeing as though you're my biggest obstacle when it comes to TNR, I want to post this on there. It's time that people know who I really am. I'm not some creepy rapist stalking teenage girls on a forum. I'm a normal guy who just had several screwed up years. I understand that everything you were doing, was soley to protect the girls on TNR. And I respect that, I think that's amazing. They are lucky to have someone who stands up for them like that. And after posting this, and answering questions or whatever if anyone has any, I'll leave again if that is what is asked of me. If not, then I won't even bother making my own posts, and only giving any advice that I can. Sorry this was so long, I didn't realize how much I had to say... 

See Also

Links

Cameron Shaw
is part of a series on
Christianity
Blessed by God [-+]
Beliefs, Events, Traditions and Other Drama [-+]
Pissing Off the Almighty [-+]
Heathens [-+]