Coast to Coast AM

O Hai

34'd

Coast To Coast AM is a syndicated radio show heard all across this great land of ours. It runs in the evening hours from 10 PM PT until 2 AM PT. This means that the show is geared towards those hard working souls who transport all of our precious commodities, as well as all of the other well adjusted citizens who sleep the day hours away. So it might not come as too much of a shock that the show's content consists of batshit crazy UFO stories and tinfoil hat conspiracy theories. The show was created by a fucktard known as Art Bell, who knew he could Jew pandering insane bullshit to the open-minded. He has since retired (4 times and counting) and has passed the torch to his protegee (and devoted follower) George Noory. Noory, unlike Bell, is a true believer, and as such, spends 4 hours an evening having an on air circle jerk with fellow believers. Along side these two winnars, there are two other douchebags who stand in on the weekends or when Bell or Noory get abducted.

The Show

The show deals with a wide array of topics on any given evening. Some of these include (but by no means are limited to) the occult, remote viewing, hauntings, shadow people, reptile people, psychic predictions, conspiracy theories, UFOs, crop circles, cryptozoology and the World Trade Center attacks. The show starts off with the host reading some "reputable" piece of news about UFO sightings or ghosts. Next comes two hours of interviews with all sorts of "interesting" and "unique" guests. The show finishes off with a bunch of unintelligible nonsense from the masses.

Typical Faggotry

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Prank Call

Articles Of The Retarded

Here they'll listen to me.

me too.

This looks shooped

Reptoids?

In my Ron Paul?

fact

The news articles that get read at the beginning of the show range from unrealistic to batshit insane. Here are just a few of the "hot Stories" linked to the show's website:

• UFO spotted opposite Houses of Parliament
• UFO in German jets alert
• Haunted hospital calls in exorcist
• Chemtrails in the Sky Are Evidence of Nefarious Activities for Broad-Based Conspiracy Theorists

Guests

Since so much of the show's daily topics are based on whatever guests are on, it seems appropriate to list some of the more notable people who've had the pleasure of explaining their complex theories on the air.

• Joye Pugh -Says blood from the Shroud of Turin has been used to clone Jesus
• Sylvia Browne -Always on The Montel Show "predicting the future."
• Dr. Charles Tramont -Used to practice "conventional" medicine before realizing that hypnotherapy can cure ANYTHING.
• Saint John Hunt -He knows who REALLY killed JFK.
• Timothy Green Beckley -Knows all about UFOs.
• Alex Jones
• David Icke
• William Shatner
• Peter Joseph
• Ron Paul

The Phone Lines Are Open

Of course the most important aspect of any radio show is its listeners. Without the masses to tune in and buy shit from the sponsors, no radio show could exist. Unfortunately this is a double-edged sword as the radio show must also allow listener participation in order to promote a loyal fan base. The end result of this is a bunch of trailer park trash, basement dwellers, and insane retards calling in to voice their opinion. Fortunately they also voice their opinions online:

	“	on last night's show about CERN & LHC - call me a skeptic...but I just don't believe we are being told all the truth about what they wish to accomplish with the LHC. OK maybe its not a portal but I SMELL A RAT - SNIFF SNIFF....	„
	—The LHC IS NOT a portal.

	“	"Nuclear Terrorism" is an anagram for "Liar's recent rumor"	„
	—LOLWUT

	“	Most histories say the Great Depression started 10-29-1929. You might look at that date as just another date , not me. If you look at that date closely you will notice it happened on the 29th and the year was also 1929, meaning there is a patter their with the 9 following the 2 to make 29. Well this might not mean much to 99.9% of people looking at this , but to me it explains why the whole World is falling into a new great depression. You see when ever you see too many 29's in a date ( specifically when you see a 29 in the year ) , it can only mean one thing , people and there money will part. Now lets look at that date one more 10-29-1929 , the last two numbers in that year are a 29. Now the year is 2009 , this is the first time in 80 Years that the 9 have followed the 2 in the year since the great Depression. Funny how the same thing is happening in 2009 , that happened in 1929. Remember , Numbers are the only thing that never lie.	„
	—tl;dr Phythagoras chiming in on numbers being God.

	“	I worked with a woman, Ellen and every time we worked together, strange things would happen; from computers freezing up to other co-workers passing out to water fall like floods, etc. Nothing ever happens when we work separately only when together. And now our store closed down for a few months! What can cause these events to happen only hen we are together? I could see if something’s happened to us individually but only when the two of us are working, there must be something more to it? I'd love to hear what you think! Thanks!	„
	—wut

Hosts

Of course this sort of faggotry has existed in the world for a long time. People have been saying retarded shit long before Al Gore looked at a series of tubes and had a moment of genius. However, for all the conspiracies, reptoids, UFOs, and ghosts to come together in one place requires something unique. What is needed is an individual with the foresight and inspiration to act as a beacon for all this nonsense. Here is the story of two such pioneers who had/have the courage to boldly go where no man who gets pussy has ever gone before.

Art Bell

Hey sexy

The evil mastermind behind all of outer space; Bell grew up with an unhealthy love of his own voice and Filipino chicks. This love made him quit killing gooks in 'Nam to start a pirate radio station playing anti-war music. The soothing sounds of Bell's voice, along with all the peace and love messages, eventually helped lead to U.S. Army to defeat. After the war Bell jetted to Japan in fear of being castrated by the Army. While he was there he set a new record in unwarranted self-importance and attention whoring by broadcasting live for 116 hours straight. Needless to say the Japanese were not pleased with Bell's faggotry. Sensing their rage and samurai swords approaching, Bell hightailed it back to the safety of the greatest country in the world.

Once back in the states Bell got himself a job hosting a political talk show. Unfortunately, there was already an elephant in those waters and subsequently, noone tuned in. That is when Bell had an epic vision. He realized that all people who listen to radio are batshit crazy, so he decided to cater to their interests. This led to a change in format; out with the politics, and in with the conspiracy theories. Of course Bell's intuition about the listeners was correct as was seen by his immediate jump in ratings, which led to big bags of Jew gold. With the Jew now flowing through his veins, Bell needed something to take him to the next level of hookers and blow. He got his wish with the Oklahoma City Bombing in 1995. While all the other radio stations bored listeners to death by following this obviously mundane story, Bell took it to the next level by discussing UFO's and the paranormal. This earned him instant success and the biggest bag of money he had evar seen. Bell, knowing a good thing when he saw it, decided to ride this one-trick pony all the way to the bank...again and again...for years and years...until his age started catching up with him.

On a side note, it should also be noted that Bell raped his own son and tricked Heaven's Gate into an herodom by pretending there was a UFO following the Hale-Bop comet.

Also Art Bell killed his first wife (claiming it was from asthma). He then got troll's remorse and mail-ordered a clone, and promptly got her preggorz.

Gorgeous George

Totally not normal

Noory is of Lebanese decent and grew up in the Roman Catholic tradition. So it goes without saying that he was screwed from the beginning to believe in shit that doesn't exist. He reports having an out of body experience as a child and was also fascinated by Ufology and the paranormal. No doubt this was just his minds way of coping with alter boy treatment. He spent his formidable years moving from town to town working for what ever piece of shit radio station he could. However, his belief was strong, and he knew he would some day make it to the big time.

In 2001 the big time finally happened and Noory finally got his shot subbing in weekends on Coast to Coast. This was the bottom of the pecking order but Noory knew that if he played his cards right he could make it to the top. Through hard work and dedication Noory finally realized his dream in 2006; taking over for Bell who was going on one of his "retirements."

It should also be mentioned that Noory believes that we were made by aliens and that he doesn't plan on working past 2012 as the Mayan calender (and by inference the world) are coming to an end.

	“	I will do you proud, the best I can, Art. There comes a time in this life wherever you might be that you have an opportunity to work with someone who is literally…like a god in this business. Someone you can look up to and respect. I've had the opportunity and so now, no matter what happens in this broadcasting business for me, I had a chance to work with Art Bell.	„
	—George Noory metaphorically sucking Art Bell's cock

Masonic Orders And Reptoids

Here are interviews with Alex Jones and David Icke for all you fanboys.

See Also

• UFO
• E.T.
• conspiracy theories
• radio
• Sherry Shriner
• Above Top Secret
• David Icke

Links

• The Official Shit
• Myspace
• Facebook Faggotry
• TOW Article
• Jewtube Channel
• Listen Online
• Noory with the assist on an alien probe being surgically removed

Coast to Coast AM is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

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Coast to Coast AM is part of a series on Psychology