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Camrose Cat Killers

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How dare they.
Artistic impression of the microwave post-cat.

Sam Sheppard, Sabian Jordan Ryan, Mac Ryan, and Jesse Gillis, known collectively as the Camrose Cat Killers are four pussies who microwaved a cat named Princess after robbing[1] their neighbors' home in Camrose, Alberta, Canadia on December 29 and December 30, 2007. When the story broke, the Internet took notice, not just because the Internet loves cats, but also because of the strange Canadian law that prohibits publishing their names, since they were juveniles when they committed the crime.

   
“ 		 
You HAD a nice cat - look in the microwave!
  		„
  		 

—Scrawled on the wall

Justice?

The boys pled guilty blah blah blah and got away with it. Lol Canada.

Vengeance

Internets tube junctions, like Facebook and Nexopia, immediately rose up and formed the hate forums. Even Bill Cosby hated them and refused to send pudding pops. The Canadian version of The Man showed up in the small town, going from house to house warning people not to name names. When he found the Facebook posts, he went to the posters' homes and threatened little children with jail time unless they used their accounts to delete the names from Facebook. Because the names were nowhere to be found, internutters went even more nutters, even offering rewards for the names[2].

Guise, it's illegal to publish their names

  • Sam Sheppard
  • Sabian Jordan Ryan
  • Mac Ryan
  • Jesse Gillis

Updates

Mac Ryan
Why are cat killers always fucking faggots

All the perpetrators are now adults, and it is unclear whether it is still illegal to reveal their names. Research is ongoing, but here is what is known so far:

Mac Ryan and Sabian Jordan Ryan are brothers who were involved in the robbery and animal torture. As of 2012, the Ryan brothers live in Edmonton, Alberta, and are in a garden variety rock band called "Any Last Regrets". In addition to being in a band, Mac Ryan now works at Earls Tin Palace in Edmonton, and Sabian attends Victoria School Of Performing And Visual Arts.

Oh look, Facebook accounts:

Notice how their Facebook pages are covered in hardcore emo death metal screamo shit and how Sabian's URL is 'CrucifiedToADream'. These guy's are really tough and hardcore so do not mess with them.

See also

External links

Camrose Cat Killers
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy

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