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My Little Pony
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This article does not need any more descriptions of the show you watch. You can help out by not doing that.
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Cartoon Horse Program (also known as My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic) is a big gay pink clusterfuck of a television show directed at little girls with the attention span of a dog with an arse full of crack. The show is also surrounded by various plastic crap in the shape of grinning flowery ponies, hand carved by the finest diseased Chinese orphans Hasbro can enslave. It was your average bullshit children's show until it gained an unnaturally large following of fat greasy basement dwellers all desperate to gain some semblance of their childhood by desperately obsessing over a children's show about magical faggot ponies. Self-labeled as the dreaded Brony, these mongoloid fucktards have created billions of unfunny image macros and a few half-arsed forced memes, vomiting it over every inch of the interbutts while they masturbate furiously to a small plastic figurine of Pinkie Pie.
Concept
It was during early 2010 that the great hipster demon Lauren Faust thought it would be a really great idea to revive the My Little Pony television show, and transform it into the small flowery bowl of ballbag sweat it is today. Faust decided to put the ponies in a place called Equestria which literally translates from Latin into something about horse fucking or some shit. The Ponies are mostly wimmins and run the entire society, which basically means that all of Equestria is a gigantic kitchen, and if it isn't- god save those ponies. The show basically revolves around a purple pony called Twilight Sparkle dicking about with all the other ponies and learning about friendship and happiness and how to properly stroke the shaft, so all the little girls out there can learn from these life lessons and apply them in the real world as soon as possible.
Characters
Mane 6
- Twilight Sparkle – Typical, boring as fuck Mary Sue main character that was sent on a quest for friendship to fulfill Celestia's needs. She evolved into an alicorn princess at the end of season 3. The butthurt this generated among the ponyfags was glorious.
- Rainbow Dash – A carpet-munching slutbag with an ADHD problem, usually shipped by ponyfaggots into various clit-licking bonanzas, so quick that she can prolapse her anus in an ass-to-ass dildo session with another pony in 10 seconds flat
- Fluttershy – This one mercifully doesn't squeak out too many lines, and is instead the quiet ugly one, it is suggested that her shyness was brought about due to being raped by her fathers throbbing horse cock as a young filly. Everyone secretly wishes death upon her but are too afraid to get close enough to the hideous thing to sink a knife between her ribs, and the poisons aren't working. In humanized versions, Fluttershy has the biggest breasts of all the Mane 6 and of all Equestria.
- Pinkie Pie – A hyperactive, scatter brained, attention whoring drug addict with an over zealous voice actor and a name that sounds like some sort of sex move involving pastries.
- Rarity – Faust does a good job of presenting a totally unstereotypical depiction of an uptight, whiny, know it all, English slag. Working in clothing, she makes all of the dominatrix costumes for other ponies. Her sole purpose is to be "the self-obsessed one", complaining about the state of her hair or appearance to the point of teeth grinding irritation, making anyone unfortunate enough to glance upon her wafting about their television want to scalp that bitch swiftly. Rarity also enjoys having sex with her slave Spike.
- Applejack – An inbred, cousin-fucking, moonshine drinking, mountain dwelling hillbilly. A prime example of what happens when a woman can't outrun her brother down south. She portrays a physical need for apples not dissimilar to a crack addict, in fact some say that the entire show is simply a drug induced hallucination of the real applejack who is in fact a filthy homeless man lying in a gutter dribbling and twitching in a pool of his own urine.
Princesses
- Princess Celestia – Glorious Führerin white devil of Equestria who rules over all the land with a tight regime. Any pony that doesn't appear to be smiling incessantly will be immediately be punished by this Nazi pony's rainbow colored cactus dildo. Sends Twilight and the others to do her dirty work, thus proving herself the wisest princess of the worthless bunch: never do a job yourself if you can make a flunky do it for you.
- Princess Luna – Former villain Nightmare Moon. The disappointment of a little sister to Princess Celestia and as such is a grimdark emo pony that barely appears in the show. This is probably due to spending most of her time slitting her wrists as the unbearable happiness and joy that the other ponies consistently shit out gnaws at her (and our) brains like a rat with rabies.
- Princess Cadence – The princess of love and buttsex. Married to Shining Armor who is actually Twilight's big brother.
- Princess Twilight Sparkle – Doesn't want to be addressed as princess all the time. See Twilight Sparkle above under Mane 6.
Minor Characters
- Spike – Tiny purple baby dragon shrimp that represents all the silly boys that populate the world and is a slave kept by Twilight Sparkle to do all her shit for her further penetrating the idea of lesbian feminazism into the minds of young girl's, making sure their next slumber party involves copious amounts of scissoring. Spike is also a sex slave kept by Rarity for her pleasure, which he enjoys more than Twilight Sparkle's bidding.
- Cutie Mark Crusaders – A cult made up of three of the most painfully dull characters, and their quest to find their Cutie Marks. They consist of Sweetie Belle, who basically has the same personality as a 12 year old girl. Then there's Scootaloo, the parentless dyke, who's fans like to relate her to a chicken. The third and final member of the Cancer Making Cunts, is none other then Apple Bloom, a talentless inbred, worshiped by fans for being so kawaii. The fourth and newest member so far is Apple Bloom's inbred incest cousin Babs Seed.
- Zecora – A zebra that turns out to be a nigger living in a hut full of voodoo shit like most black stereotypes do.
- Discord – Possibly the only good character in the show: A draconequus that was once a main villain in season 2. With Hasbro's idea to bring him back to understand the magic of friendship from his sexual lover Fluttershy in season 3, Discord went from villain to troll and now fulfills the role of Q from Star Trek in the MLP:FiM universe. Whoever wrote all this horseturd should be assraeped with a pony doll.
Villains
- Nightmare Moon – It pretty much explains the same thing as Luna except Nightmare Moon is twice as worse and super emo.
- Trixie Lulamoon – Twilight Sparkle's arch-rival, and Sethisto's waifu he keeps in his bed (which aptly enough describes Sethisto, except for the blue female part). Trixie is a entertainer who never shuts her big fucking mouth about herself as "The Great And Powerful Trixie" and rants how she's better than everybody. In reality, she's a powerless showoff with a big fucking mouth, and she'll always get her horse pussy dominated by Twilight Sparkle.
- Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon – Two snobbish rich cunts who always talk shit to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
- Gilda – A lesbian gryphon with a very bitchy attitude. She used to be Rainbow Dash's girlfriend before she became one with the Mane 6.
- Diamond Dogs – A group of diamond rapist dogs living in the underground like niggers in the hood.
- Discord – See Discord above Minor Characters. Once a major villain in season 2, now reformed from Fluttershy having a sexual relationship with him.
- Flim Flam Brothers – Twin gay lovers and brothers. All they do is scam ponies with crap that never works.
- Queen Chrysalis – Some kind of bug pony with rape holes all over her, somewhat resembling a block of Swiss cheese. She was a fake Cadence in the beginning of season 2 and she controls the swarm of bug ponies. Now what does that remind you of?
- King Sombra – Some evil jew-king trying to take over the crystal palace. Nothing new.
- Lightning Dust – Rainbow Dash's rival. She's pretty much a bitch who will hurt her girlfriends during a race.
- Sunset Shimmer – Celestia's ex-student and the main villain in the first Equestria Girls movie. She has the power to become a succubus. In the end, they pulled off a Nightmare Moon by learning about the power of friendship and lesbianship, and becomes one with the main protagonists in later movies and clips after the first one.
- Suri Polomare – Just another rich snob bitch that Rarity encountered.
- Mane-iac – Maniac, Mane-iac, I get it. Har fucking har. She's a Medusa-like supervillain from a action comic book. Her weapon is her big green hair that slithers around like hentai tentacles.
- Nightmare Rarity - Only in the comics series. It's just Nightmare Moon possessed Rarity.
- Tirek – The reboot of a G1 My Little Pony villain in the end of season 4. An old centaur that devours the souls of ponies like he's freakin' Shang Tsung in order to grow stronger to regain his real form. Responsible for destroying Twilight Sparkle's home with a shoop da whoop and replace it with her own kingdom in the end.
- Adagio Dazzle – Leader of her band and the main villain in the second Equestria Girls movie Rainbow Rocks. A second movie? Seriously? And together with her lesbian bandmates Aria Sorrow & Sonata Dusk, they are known as The Dazzlings who are apparently Sirens or some shit.
- Starlight Glimmer – A feminazi that changes cutie marks, forcing everyone to be SJW feminists of equality just like her. Leader of the MLP equivalent of the motherland, and most likely made to make fun of Tumblr and Anita Sarkeesian.
- Midnight Sparkle - The succubus version of Twilight Sparkle's clone in the third movie Friendship Games. Way to run out of ideas for another shitty movie, Hasbro.
Derpy
- Derpy Hooves – Born and raised in 4chan's /co/ board, a pony that suffered a severe stroke causing Marty Feldman Syndrome, fans find this adorable, while she silently prays "roll on death" (See more in the Derpygeddon article). Derpy is also the characterized manifestation of the average MLP viewer's severe mental retardation.
Overview
The lack of significant male characters is due to the fact that Lauren Faust is a closet feminazi. When any male ponies are shown, they usually babble something witless to the female characters, then get their testicles crunched by a hoof for stepping out of line. The show has inexplicably garnered praise from various retards for its "clever" writing and "witty" humor, this is usually spouted by the flabby neckbeards to stop them from feeling like emasculated fucknuggets for watching a girl's children show. It is unknown as to where these statements of "good writing" find their basis, but if you consider a group of ponies dry humping each other and dribbling something about friendship "clever", or a cartoon horse squealing then falling over "funny" there is something seriously wrong. The disgusting fugly and garish color palette of the show will cause any normal man who glances at the screen to fall into a coma twitching and vomiting. This is because a large amount of sickeningly bright ponies are often fucking about on the screen enough during any given episode, to cause a hardcore epileptic fit. These symptoms only effect men with actual balls hanging from their groin: therefore bronies are exempt.
IMDb
IMDb members don't tend to be of the greatest taste, (considering that they gave Fight Club an 8.9 out of 10) but one would at least expect them to hold SOME standards. This is not the case at all, for it has become clear that IMDb faggots are in favor of this show due to its current rating of 8.3. Even though this is a high score to obtain for a girl show, brony fags are still not satisfied, considering that this one bawwed his eyes out about the score dropping rapidly, and how he thinks the show should have a 9.0. That's right, according to these furniggers, this show should hold a higher rating than The Boondocks and Breaking Bad. A show about brightly colored faggoty ponies is better than a cleverly-written drama about a drug dealer and a dark comedy about racism. On a side-note, they also raeped TV.com
Update: As of September 2015, IMDb now gives My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic a 7.8 out of 10, which, while still way too high, is a step in the right direction.
4chan stampede
The cancer
The many flabby nerdsacks at /co/ quickly latched on to the show seeing it as a colorful distraction for their otherwise pitiful lives and a decent cover for their closet pedophilic tendencies that reveal themselves through the guise of watching a television show for little girls. These flabby maniacs created thread after thread of fanart and fanfiction vomiting rainbow colored anti-lulz into 4chan to the vast and unending dismay of everyone else. A few weeks later, this cancer has found its way to /b/, and so another unfunny lump of cancerous fandom and asshatery was shat into the sea of diarrhea that is /b/.
The entire decision for a /b/ onslaught was decided by five fabulous tripfags known as Flutter!shy (age 16) Appple!jack (age 22) Pinkie!pie (age 20) Rainbow!dash (age 23) and BigMcIn!!toshdAyGxE (age 14) as shown in the possibly shooped screenshot to the right. And so the gigantic pony monster grew, stuffing it's friendship dick into all the threads and ejaculating despicable pony generals that scraped at the eyes of any front page lurkers. The dribbling masses of Bronies seemed unfazed by the gore and cp that /b/tards desperatley threw at them to qwell the faggotry, and so it was the mods turn to stifle this pinkie pie shaped tumor growing within /b/.
The chemo
m00t and his cronies decided they'd had enough of the bronies horse fucking faggotry and threw about gigantic banhammers left and right, squashing all the ponies into twitching masses of purple and pink guts. The bronies effectively shat their pants with rage and attempted to fight back against what they considered was infringing on their rights by spamming endless unfunny pony image macros and acting like considerably ass-pained little children. On October 22, 2011, a sticky on /b/ was posted by moot, declaring trips to be taken away and as a side-note that all bronies and pony related posts should take their leave. Off course all of the butthurt bronies slithered into the sticky so as to complain some more, only to be led like lambs to the slaughter as m00t b& their unadulterated faggotry out of existence.
The relapse
Moot suddenly realized that he is actually a complete faggot, chuckling at how he'd forgotten such a thing. Therefore deciding to open the flood gates and let the cancerous rainbow magic faggotry stream in by creating a board for all the filthy overweight cretins that worship this god awful show. Proving once and for all that 4chan is the worst place on the internet.
—Anonymous | ||
— Some anon that takes himself slightly too seriously |
Equestria Girls
The year was 2013. The kikes down at Hasbro needed some more money (apparently the billions they sucked out of their manchild cult wasn't enough) so Lauren Faust gathered up a bunch of smelly old washed up cartoonists and told them "I don't care how shitty it is just make something for these retards to jerk off to" and in about fifteen minutes, the Equestria Girls movie was born.
They basically just took all their cliche and girly ass characters and made them 10x more slutty by morphing them into ugly, anorexic looking, anthropomorphic abominations. They also decided to change from their usual setting of Equestria and instead have the movie take place at a boring fucking high school in an obvious attempt to ripoff Monster High. The whole movie is extremely cringe worthy and just plain terrible. It consists mostly of reused jokes, every imaginable generic high school trope from the past decade, and more suggestive scenes for the brony masturbation factor, some sick perverted animator even decided to show Twilight Sparkle's underwear in a scene (you can try to look it up but you'll probably just find an archive of weird ass pony porn). Lauren Faust also showed just how much she likes trolling her mentally crippled fanbase by adding a male love interest for Twilight. This caused an uproar in the brony fanbase because they were either jealous about losing their animated waifu or they were just plain mad that she wasn't a dyke.
The plot revolves around Twilight getting horny over some long cocked stallion and since this upset the bronies, Princess Celestia banishes Twilight into a nightmarish mirror realm where her former friends and herself are all mangled into humanoid puppets that are locked inside of a special needs high school for eternity with Sunset Shimmer playing the role of Satan. The writers even managed to tend to furfags by making Spike into a little puppy dog fuck toy for the majority of the film. Twilight has to do some gay little friendship gang bang to get their friends out of hell like every other special episode featured on the show. They eventually escape the mirror realm and Twilight gets her horny pony cunt ripped open by Flash Sentry's dangling horse dick then the movie ends.
Critical response
The movie received mixed feedback from the brony community. A lot of them were pissed off about it since they are obsessive compulsive aspies that get flustered when changes are made to their environment so the sight of Twilight and the gang walking around a high school as subhuman aliens disturbed them quite a bit but most of the twisted sexual deviant bronies that we know and love accepted the movie as a brand new source of fap material and got to work making the most vile collection of fetish porn the community had ever experienced.
The fags down at IMDb rated the movie a big percent lower than the actual show in a pathetic attempt at revenge against the creators since they were butthurt about their pony waifu Twilight Sparkle being stolen by Flash Sentry. This was the first time on record that IMDb went against orders from their pony overlords.
Toys
The evil Jew queen Lauren Faust finally revealed her evil plan to everyone soon after the release of the movie. Hasbro had created a series of toys based on the film that were targeted towards the few little girls that still watched the cartoon, I'm sure a lot of bronies bought them too but for masturbation purposes only. It was now evident that Lauren Faust not only wanted to milk millions of dollars out of the autistic manchildren known as bronies but she was also out to harvest pocket change from little children around the world. The masterful Jew scheme was so diabolical and well planned that it is now globally praised by evil cartoonists. The toys themselves are identical to Monster High dolls but with disgusting furry qualities like dog ears, tails, and yiff kits. They are the typical boring pieces of plastic shit that Hasbro is so well recognized and loved for.
The Sequel
Lauren's Jew scheme was so successful that in September 2014 they decided to do it again. The idea was conceived and worked on in a laboratory somewhere deep in the bowels of Hasbro and in about a week Equestria Girls 2: Electric Boogaloo was released. The movie is exactly the same as the first except the plot now revolves around Twilight Sparkle and her friends forming some god awful metal band. The writers added unholy amounts of fan service by allowing some retarded mute DJ to have some screen time and they also decided to make Sunset Shimmer a protagonist since My Little Pony is known for turning villains into weak ass bitches (see Discord.) The new antagonists are some crazy cultist cunts that form a rival band against Twilight Sparkle for a battle of the bands (super original writing). They are unbelievably dull characters that get completely fucking destroyed by Sunset Shimmer's OP singing at the end of the movie.
This time around almost every brony was masturbating to the humanoid versions of Twilight and her friends and the ones that weren't were off somewhere crying about how they didn't have enough feral pony porn to fap to. IMDb rated this movie higher than the original but only because their new waifu Sunset Shimmer showed some skin at the end. This was a successful trick added into the movie by Hasbro to get IMDb back on their side.
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Videos
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See Also
- Basement-dweller
- Bestiality
- Brony
- Chris-chan
- Curt Sibling
- Feminism
- Five Nights at Freddy's
- Furries in denial
- Jasha Lottin
- Littlest Pet Shop
- Manchildren
- MysteriousMrEnter
- NCF
- Pewdie-Pinkiepie
- Pony
- Ponyland Drama
- Princess Molestia
- Rangerphile
- Robot Unicorn Attack
- Ruining the Internet
- Shit
- Shitting Rainbows
- Sparkledogs
- Unicorn Orgy
- Yiff
External links
- MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic.com
- The official Hasbro website
- My Little Pony Arena (where most of the manchild ponyfags reside)
- MLP:FIM Wikia for ponyfags
- BroNYCon. Like Anthrocon, except much, much, much, MUCH worse.
- Ponychan. Where Moot unsuccessfully banished the fags
- MLPchan. Where Moot unsuccessfully attempted again to banish the porn and other undesirables.
- Equestria Daily. All the ponyfags gather here to suck Sethisto's cock
- Typical My Little Pony thread on Reddit
- A news article on grown men watching My Little Pony.
- MY LITTLE PONY SAVED MY LIFE - A dramatic reading by DUKE
- An article about children being exposed to pornography that mentions My Little Pony and the sick shit its manchild fanbase do to a beloved cartoon for little girls.
- Proof that MLP is a racist and homophobic show.
- Banned From Equestria – This is the kind of game Bronies play. WARNING Will cause vomiting, blindness, depression, and loss of faith in humanity to everyone that has a functioning brain.
- My Little Porny: Fucking is Magic, a MLP:FiM cosplay porno featuring Jessi "Dun Goofed" Slaughter
- Tasha's Pony Tales – the first mainstream IRL pornography film based on MLP:FiM
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| Featured article March 14 and 15, 2012 | ||
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