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Muammar Gaddafi
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Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi or fondly known by the people of Libya as Dafi Duck is was perhaps one of the most batshit insane Arabs since Saddam and a pretty cool guy.
Despite the handicap of his weird, craggy, droopy face that made him look a bit like a lion being fucked by Bob Dylan's grandpa, he ruled Libya since the 1970's, but is now just short of an hero status. He is best known for the IRL trolling of Americunts, Britfags and the cheese eating surrender monkeys. The butthurt rebels that killed Gaddafi have conquered the capital Tripoli as of August 2011, so it's only a matter of times up before the final defeat of for Qaddafi.
Early Life
Muammar al-Gaddafi (not to be confused with Myuran Sukumaran, the convicted Australian drug smuggler) was spawned from the hairy arse of a camel in a Bedouin tent in the desert, near the town of Squirt, in 1942. His family belongs to a small tribe of Arabized Bourbon. The Qaddadfa (which is Arabic for 'I kill you') are stock herders with holdings in the Hun Oasis, which they stole from the Germans during World War II.
He was then subject to years of torture and fun at the military academy, mainly at the hands of an American tutor known only as 'Ronald,' which may be the cause of his extreme butthurt toward all things 'Murka. The academy was located at Bengazi, which ironically is now the rebel stronghold.
After his studies in Libya, he pursued further studies in Eurabia. The rumors circulating that he studied at the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst are entirely true. The Academy denies this, however, as they don't want Prince Harry to think he went to the same school as a sandnigger.
Rise To Power and Going Mad With Pow(d)er
Muammar Gaddafi's reign began Over 9000 years ago when he pwned Hasan as-Senussi.
On 1 September 1969, a small group of soldiers led by Gaddafi staged a bloodless (except for some anal hemorrhaging) coup d'etat against King ShitPiss while he was in Turkey for medical treatment, having his anus resleaved. Following a troublesome acquisition of some small boys in Morocco, his nephew, the Crown Prince Sayyid Hoi-sin ar-Rider Al-kyder ass-S-anus-si, had been formally deposed by the revolutionary army officers and put under house arrest; they abolished the monarchs and proclaimed the new Great Libyan Socialist People's Republic Gaddafi - the Libyan dictator savior!
After attempting to export his shitty revolution to the Arab countries around him in 1977, Gaddafi decided it would be best to bomb some huts across the border in Egypt. When that failed to elicit a response, he decided it would be a good idea to then order his troops and tanks to drive across the border, which quickly turned into a sandy reenactment of the battle of France.
When Egypt ordered thirty times the amount of troops Gaddafi sent across the border to blitzkrieg into Libya and hang Gaddafi from a lamppost, the Israeli Jews saw how Egypt killing a majorly anti-American dictator would make them lose funding from Washington, quickly bribed Arab representatives to suck Egypt's dick to get them to place the troops they diverted to invade Libya back on their side of the border. It was unclear how they could tell where the fucking border is, as the whole place is a desert shithole.
After this utter failure, Gaddafi decided to instead declare himself the king of Africa and promptly invaded Chad to expand his now pan-African ideology to the French niggers to the south of him. After over a decade of on and off war, France got sick of his shit and sent troops and tanks to Chad to ban him, but the troops got distracted by a JewTube video of a 13 year old girl singing about Friday, and are thought to be fapping somewhere in the desert still, assuming they didn't forget to drink while fapping, leading to death from dehydration. After failing to spread his revolution by invasion, he decided to do shit the western way, and started to murder his own people and blaming others for it, as the one thing he grudgingly admired about America was their ability to make dissenters vanish properly and not having their bodies turn up in a hotel room somewhere in eastern Europe, bound, gagged and with a bullet wound from a 9mm pistol to the back of their head. His antics caught the eye of comedian Bill Cosby and they became best friends.
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There are no rebels
The truth is that in reality, there are only about 10 rebels. The "footage" you see on television is all stock from about six months ago, and the only reason NATO is trying to take over his country is because of the oil. Kenya, for example, has been even worse for even longer, yet nobody gives a shit about them because they have no oil are niggers. (edit: There is however another very good reason why nato doesn't want to be in Kenya) However, because Libya has oil, as soon as a couple of people rebelled, NATO jumped in like a redneck ploughing his wife. If you look, you'll see the vast majority of Libyan residents support Gaddafi, or don't really care. This is proved by interviews and crowd support featured on news programs closer to the area of Libya.
Civil War and Military intervention in 2011
After this blunder, Al Qaeda thought it would be better to send some African niggers to "rebel" a bit, which made Libyans everywhere in the country who otherwise didn't give a fuck about the fact that fundamentalists were given power over them promptly split down the middle to start protesting on both sides (pro-Gaddafi and anti). Soon after, the rebels broke into armories and declared "AK-47's for everybody!", at which point Gaddafi met with his supporters and told them to "Take these weapons and fucking kill everyone who does not love me!" and he almost did! In less than over a week, he launched a counter-offensive and took the upper hand. Western faggots, seeing their plan was about to fail, decided to lobby protocol 1973 which is code for "let's bomb the shit out of Libya and overthrow Gaddafi by helping the batshit insane rebels". The only nations to oppose this humanitarian intervention were Russia (because Putin was busy hunting British agents) and China (because they don't need the oil to pwn America's economy). With government armor, aircraft, and weaponry being bombed by NATO, the rebels consolidated their hold on the eastern half of the country, after which there was a stalemate with slow gains. Recently, as of August 2011, the rebels have conquered the capital city Tripoli, and stand poised to defeat the final boss and beat the game.
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The REAL motives for the intervention:
- Get the arabfag gold to sell it for jew gold
- Testing armament in advance for WW3
- Try to show off to the world by bombing a defenceless country in the middle of a civil war hoping that will make forget your embarrassing defeats in the past
It's remarkable to note that France (!!!) was very furious about invading Libya when we all know that Frenchies are forfeiting faggots, but little does anybody know that it was actually up to Sarkozy's will.
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Hiding in a zoo
After rebels invaded his house, instead of surrendering like a boss, Gaddafi decided to be a smart-ass and go into hiding, which landed him in the unlikely scenario of occupying a zoo with furfags. Experts believed that he would surrender once his stockade of bananas stolen from the other gorillas runs out. Due to Gaddafi being a raging sand-nigger, this didn't take too long.
Eventual Capture Super Mario Style and Dying LIKE A BOSS bitch
Eventually, Pipe King Gaddafi was found drinking his own body fluids in a sewer, doing an impression of Mario, along with his body guards but the Rebel Alliance[[1]], lead by a certain Admiral Allahu Ackbar who had quite enough of his faggotry, beat his meat a bit then tied him to a back of a truck before shooting him then putting his body in a freezer. Some argue that it was too barbaric but they just lost the game.
Below is a video of what transpired after Admiral Allahu Ackbar transferred Gaddafi to the hands of the other rebels:
Moreover, here is the good colonel being sodomized anally in the ass with a riot stick. Most likely his last wish before being lynched:
And here is a life-action re-enactment of Gaddafi's judgement in the afterlife; ironically a Christian heaven, thus proving that the Christian religion is the legal one:
Disposal of Gaddafi's body
Last Thursday, after some time in detention in a freezer in a mall for some party time, the people got bored of partying him over 9000 times and decided to dispose of him somewhere in the middle of Sahara Desert because the mass number of visitors of the party caused the freezer to breakdown and become like a sauna in Sweden which triggered the decomposition of Gaddafi's body which eventually was a sign that the party was almost over.
Only a few people know where the fuck Gaddafi's body is right now to the dismay of the other Libyan necrophiles who wanted a little more time partying with him.
Gallery of traitors
PROTIP Never trust people wearing suits and ties.
Moral of the story
Never trust a backstabbing Jew president Sarkozy, who will betray you after you help him financially at elections.
Actual quotes by Gaddafi
- "Democracy means permanent rule".
- "I am not such a dictator that I would shut down Facebook. I'll merely imprison anyone who logs into it".
- "A woman has the right to run for election whether she's male or female".
- "Were it not for electricity, we would have to watch television in the dark".
- "Obeying your parents is more important than doing as your parents say".
- "Protest however you want, but do not go out onto the streets and squares".
External links
- Serbians support Gaddafi, why don't you?
- A letter from Gaddafi to the world, read it at your own risk
