Talking Animals

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This is what you get for putting words next to cats on the internet.

Sick of hearing ham-fisted rants about religion or Twilight on Youtube? Well luckily you because there are now videos of talking animals, mostly cats, are overflowing on the internet. Could this phenomenon have anything to do with the cancer that is lolcats, and other derivative faggotry, slowly destroying modern culture with its pernicious fail and AIDS? Noone knows for sure, but for whatever reason, this is yet another example of why we can't have nice things.

Talking Cat Videos

Zola the famous talking cat.

Talking cats come in three varieties:

The Second Variety: The cats simply mewl back and forth

Mister Ed, not to be confused with Mr. Hands, was one of the first talking animals and a chess grandmaster

.

Oh the Cuteness

The Translation

The Best Variety: The cat appears to be having a seizure

What's that Lassie, your owner is a stupid faggot who's throat must be ripped out?

Someone has been Spamming this cat with .GIF images

Cat Yodeling

For those who are new to the concept of animal abuse Cat Yodeling is the sport of picking up your pet and shaking them slightly as they mewl in disdain.

Cat Yodeling was invented by Klusmanp, a native from Kansas. Although most Youtube users earn their article on Encyclopedia Dramatica for either suggesting that buggering your dog is a beautiful thing or defending their animal spirit and right to dress and and splatter their pants wearing a fursuit - Klusmanp is famous for making droll videos and musical felines.

Corporal Cuddling

Before learning the art of cat yodeling the owner must first understand corporal cuddling. Unless your cat has been endlessly molested since it was a kitten (and might even enjoy being picked up) most cats will complain slightly if you cuddle them. Kissing them makes it worse. Once they start mewling for long enough, annoy them further by shaking them and posting your embarrassing video on the internet.

Other Videos

How NOT to make your cat yodel.

Since the original An Engineer's Guide to Cats several other youtubers have tried to make their felines yodel, proving that all win eventually devolves into fail.

An earlier, primitive form of cat yodeling was seen on the Anticyclonic clips MEOWARCHY. Instead of the cats miaowing slightly, these cats would growl and hiss in anger while their owners continued to piss them off. In short -

Successful Cat Yodeling:

• Your cat makes a sustained musical noise when you shake it.
• Your cat is slightly annoyed but safe.
• You will get several youtube comments saying "OMG sooooooo cute LOL I <3 U!!!1!one".

Unsuccessful Cat Yodeling:

• Your cat rips your bottom lips and arms.
• Your cat runs away.
• You will get several youtube comments saying "OMFG animal aubse imma report u 2 the ASPCA!!!1!one."

Other Pets

So far cat yodeling has been limited to nothing but cats. But why not try other pets? Dog yodeling, hamster yodeling or even parrot yodeling.

See Also

• The original 'An Engineers Guide to Cats' video
• Cat
• EXTREME ANIMALS
• Caturday
• Lolcats
• Burger the Angry Cat