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Honey Badger: Difference between revisions
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*Honey badger just takes what it wants. | *Honey badger just takes what it wants. |
Revision as of 15:09, 19 March 2014
The innocuously named Honey Badger is a mammal native to Africa, and named for its penchant for raiding the nests of African Honey bees, because unlike genocide and mass disease, food doesn't come easy in Africa. Like its euro-fag cousin, the HB shows aggressive tendencies, but what sets the Honey Badger apart is its balls of steel. Balls so hard and massive that even the Guiness Book of World Records gave it the title of "Most Fearless Animal". These things really don't give a fuck.
The Honey badger was popularized on the internet after a National Geographic clip was re-dubbed by some fag.
Original
Facts
- Honey badger don't care.
- Honey badger just takes what it wants.
- Honey badger is a sick fuck.
- Honey badger evolves into Typhlosion if you set it on fire.
Scourge of the African Wilderness
Like most things terrifying/awful beyond reason, the Honey Badger comes from Africa. Its diet includes poisonous snakes, the larva of the African honey bee, hopes and dreams, and anything else it can manage to rip apart.
The honey badger came about as a result of God flexing his nuts and pwning Africa way before He ever thought of AIDS. Honey badger will royally fuck you up if he sees fit. Seriously he doesn't give a shit.
Most of the Honey Badger's apparent invulnerability and utter lack of fuck stems from its thick hide, allowing most attacks (including snakebites that would kill most animals) to be simply shrugged off. This is nice to know, but will help you fuck-none when one of those little fuckers tears at your nutsack.
Related Articles
External Links
Randall's Twitter
Randall's YouTube
Randall's Fæcbook
This article is not crap. You can help by not doing anything.