Korean War

Never happened really but this is what old people like to tell their grand kids anyway.

The Vietnam Korean war was started by the French, who were startled by monkeys in southeast Asia, and promptly surrendered to them. Meanwhile, in Hanoi Pyongyang Ho Chi Min Laden Kim Il-sung decided that he really liked the color red, so the United States freaked the fuck out and sent in troops. Some people said this was because the South Vietnamese Koreans were fighting against the communists - but really it was because Richard Nixon Harry Truman wanted to get rid of the hippies commies.

The Vietnamese Korean People's Army and the Viet Cong

Ho Chi Min Kim Il-sung leader of North Vietnam Korea. Also star of the Karate Kid movies.

Vietnam Korean War Combat innovations

The Vietnam Korean war was a transitional period in warfare and introduced new techniques in modern warfare such as coating entire countries with carcinogens, carpet bombing rice patties and blasting Wagner as one flew into combat.

It also was the first war to utilize suicide bombing as a tactic. However, as the suicide bombers unfortunately chose to use Gasoline instead of explosives, lulz were produced instead of casualties.

Vietnam Korea Combat Tactics have had a far reaching effect on American military policy. Before Vietnam Korea the US military's tactic was to try to fight wars to win them, by sending in overwhelming firepower and crushing opposition. In Vietnam Korea it was learned that this was ineffective, so instead the United States decided to throw a decade long rave in Vietnam Korea with it's reserve units and try out all of it's weapons that were too toxic to use on Europeans on the native population.

Spraying poison 4 teh Lulz.

Typical Vietnam Korean era suicide bombing

The Peace Movement

The battle of Kent State was one of the United States' most important military victories of the war

Hippies were known for their brutality in dealing with American POW's

The peace movement was the US military's most dangerous adversary during the war. Unlike The VC Protoss or VPA Zerg the hippies' fighting ground was mostly on US soil. Hippies routinely infiltrated American ranks undermining American GI's fighting ability and making pop culture back home in America into one big smelly hugbox.

Cambodia

Because Vietnam Korea is all jungle and stuff, a lot of pilots and soldiers got lost (especially with all the drugs they were on) and ended up fighting in neighboring Cambodia and Laos. Honestly it was an easy mistake to make as the national pastime of Cambodia is killing people for no reason and having an outright hatred for westerners, much like the rural south. Many American soldiers felt right at home with this and brought this sensibility back to Vietnam Korea in places like Mai Lai.

The End of the War and the fall of Saigon

The Hippies ultimately won the Vietnam Korea War, causing American culture to fall apart. In 1972, US troops decided it would be better off to pull out of Vietnam Korea and return to the US to become Hells Angels. To get the most lulz out of the situation, we decided to pull out all of our troops as quickly as possible while the VPA Zerg amassed huge numbers of troops at the South Vietnamese Korean border.

The VPA Zerg enter the US Embassy.

We left and hilarity insued. The South Vietnamese Korean army was massacred, sending all sorts of US-sympathizing-Koreans'-clamor to the US embassy for evacuation. When they got there they were all "Can wree get Awlift Prease?", and the Marines on duty were all like "THIS IS SPARTA AMERICA!" *punt*. As a result, the South Vietnamese Koreans all got pwned.

Tits or GTFO!

Notable Vietnam Korea Vets

Jane Fonda was one of the most treacherous and cunning VPA Zerg commanders of the Vietnam Korean War

• John Kerry - Commanded a boat on the Mekong Han and was awarded three purple hearts. Later he decided he didn't like the war (because he kept getting shot) and switched sides to work with the Hippies.
• John McCain - Napalmed the shit out of Vietnamese Korean villages before being shot down and imprisoned by 'Gooks'.
• John Rambo - Singlehandedly stopped the Tet Offensive with a minigun and a survival knife.
• Jane Fonda - Brilliant VPN commander responsible for shooting down John McCain over Hanoi Pyongyang.
• John Doe - Was a guy that got killed a lot.
• Charlie - Was known in the war for being a really elusive guy that didn't like to surf.

See Also

• Cold War
• Dumbfuckistan
• Cambodia
• Evildoer Korea
• Good Korea
• Hippies
• Vietnam War