Oklahoma
|
This state needs a serious clean up. Somebody should do something about it. |
Oklahoma is a state located in the central United States. Oklahoma is also located in Dumbfuckistan, and Jesusland. Oklahomans, legally known as Oklahomos, are renowned for their hatred of niggers and spics. Oklahoma has three different landscapes: flat, flat, and flat. If you can find a tree in Oklahoma that is larger than 10 feet tall, you would be a state hero.
Climate
Oklahoma has the highest geographical diversity than any other state in America, you can find mountains, forests, deserts, plains, swamps, and mountainous deserts, but you can’t find good fucking roads or financial opportunities. The government has used this shitty miserable land to train soldiers before heading off to shithole countries like Vietnam and Afghanistan. Amazingly there is one ecological element common throughout all of these diverse regions, hot humid weather. This leads to a common phrase in Oklahoma called “Muh Humidity” to explain why everything is so fucking miserable. Despite having a large amount of tornadoes, no one owns a storm shelter, and if they do it’s filled with roaches and liquid AIDS and unusable. If there is a tornado, people will get drunk and watch it, praying it will come in their way and end their miserable existence.
Oklahoma's climate shifts between unbearably hot and freeze your balls off cold, with about a two day mild period in between. Our weather is as unpredictable as a 13 year old girl on her period. The weather is so unpredictable that asking what the weather will do is a free pass for any Okie to beat and rape you for being such a fucking N00B (it is un-ironically considered a stupid fucking question). But there is one natural phenomenon that Oklahoma almost never experiences, rain which is followed by intense humidity turning everyone's ass into a sweaty hot slimy ass swamp.
Winter is cold and windy while summers are hot and humid. They split the year equally into leaving a two day period in between where the temperature is bearable.
History
Oklahoma's earliest history is shrouded in mystery. However, it is believed to have originally been inhabited by large talking bipedal iguanas. These natives evolved separately, not unlike their counterparts in africa, the niggers. These early natives are now known as injuns(the casino kind, not the customer support kind). At least 100 years ago, the injuns gave their land to the kind, and gentle white people. This completely non-invasive action caused the savage injuns to revolt against the nice white people; the injuns unfairly tricking the peaceful white people out of all their money. This ignited World War I, which raged for many years and only ended last thursday. A part of the truce allowed the filthy savages to build casinos to steal money from the least intelligent of the white people.
Injuns: Okies have the dumbest way to differentiate someone from India and an ugly ass alcoholic who lives on a reservation asking if they are a “Dot or Feather Subhuman”. After getting BTFO by whitey, Injuns now have their own Ethno State complete with their own laws, police, housing, healthcare, and military. You can only receive these benefits if you are a certified Aryan and have an Aryan Card, proving again that you can do anything if you’re a Subhuman in America, even setting up a government approved Ethno State. All Injuns are either fat, ugly, or both and their only contribution to society has been supergonorrhea and their made up language used to successfully confuse based Nazi decoders in WWII. With casino money, the Greedy Injuns (Or Tribal Jews) have fucked the US government for more monies in the past few decades.
Life In Oklahoma
Oklahoma sits not only at the geographical ass crack of America, but also at the cultural one, making this state even more of a clusterfuck than it already is. You hear a lot of retards calling something like a simple carbonated beverage several different things such as soda, pop, coke, and Fizz Jizz. The accent sounds like the inbred child of Southern Hick and a Midwest Hillbilly. Okies also add letters and names for things that make no sense. A good example is Jet Ski, which Okies call Sea-DooDoo, and the word “wash” that is pronounced “warsh”.
Everyone in Oklahoma is depressed and gives no fucks because of our glorious Leader Mary Fallin who has assraped everyone in the state multiple times with shitty policies. If you ask any Okie if they voted for Mrs. Cuntface McTrooperFucker, they will all say no, making it a mystery of how she got elected to begin with. If someone said they did vote for her, then the whole town will bound and gag that person before burning them alive and screaming the Oklahoma Anthem at them (which they stole from that faggy ass Branson show).
For entertainment, Okies have 2 college football teams, a horrible NBA team, rodeos, guns, beating your children/wife, lynchings, and meth. If you’re lucky enough to live near the border, you will go to another state to shop, have fun, give birth, receive competent medical help, and generally everything else.
Oklahoma is a very Christian state, so Christian that they elected a literal prostitute and adulteress as Supreme Leader and banned DudeWeed. Oklahoma then declared any alcoholic drink over 0.1% alcohol can not be chilled when sold or sold in gas stations as a means to subdue Niggardly behavoir. This lead to Okies simply drinking 1,000 Keith Stones to get drunk and pissing 100 gallons in a span of 3 hours.
Politics
Politics in Oklahoma can be described as “Fucking Useless” or “Gay”, there is little difference in Democunts and Republicucks, as both have the uncanny ability to waste of oxygen and get paid for it. Of course, Retards claim there is a huge difference between the two parties despite both parties getting drilled in the ass with crude oil used as lube by the Big Oil Companies.
Oklahoma has the highest incuntceration rate of America, making it the highest cunt imprisonment rate in the entire fucking world, but besides this impressive statistic, everything else is shitty. Oklahoma is 2nd to Russia in meth addiction, 2nd to Taiwan in Bad Driving, and 1st in the world for Tornadoes.
Mary Fallin is a well known fat prostitute troll and known for sucking over 6,000,000 Okie dicks to get elected as Governor twice. Fallin unsurprisingly cucked her husband by fucking State Troopers, she has also stolen money from dead people, created the most executive orders in the entire history of Oklahoma, and banned Fag Clouders, Dip Shitters, and Fag Smokers from doing their homosexual acts in the state. Fallin also trolled the Useless Potheads for Lulz by declaring Mariguana is legal and grow-able, but can not be bought in a smoke-able form, essentially B&’ing marijuana after people voted to legalize it.
