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Camrose Cat Killers: Difference between revisions

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{{exclusive}}
[[Image:IS_IT_CAN_BE_HUGS_TIEM_NOW_PLEES_CAT.jpg|right|thumb|How dare they.]]
[[Image:IS_IT_CAN_BE_HUGS_TIEM_NOW_PLEES_CAT.jpg|right|thumb|How dare they.]]
[[Image:Cat23.jpg|right|thumb|Artistic impression of the microwave post-cat.]]The '''Camrose Cat Killers''' are four [[pussies|piece of shit]] [[13 year old boy|brats]] in Camrose, Alberta, [[Canadia]] who microwaved their neighbors poor, non-asthma inducing, innocent, cute, and all around adorable [[cat|kitty cat]] named Princess - like they were reenacting that stupid urban legend with the poodle.
[[Image:Cat23.jpg|right|thumb|Artistic impression of the microwave post-cat.]]


{{quote|Nice cat, look in the microwave!|Scrawled on the wall}}
'''Sam Sheppard''', '''Sabian Jordan Ryan''', '''Mac Ryan''', and '''Jesse Gillis''', known collectively as the '''Camrose Cat Killers''' are four [[pun|pussies]] who microwaved a [[cat]] named Princess after robbing<sup><span class="plainlinks">[http://www.pet-abuse.com/cases/12908/AB/CA/]</span></sup> their neighbors' home in Camrose, Alberta, [[Canadia]] on December 29 and December 30, 2007. When the story broke, the Internet took notice, not just because [[fact|the Internet loves cats]], but also because of the strange Canadian law that [[Streisand effect|prohibits publishing their names]], since they were juveniles when they committed the crime.


The Canadan government, in their [[retarded|brilliant]] wisdom, says that [[lol|publishing the names of juveniles arrested for crimes is a crime]].  [[Rage|Fuck that: Out the little bastards]].  Eat a dick, Canadian government.
{{quote|You HAD a nice cat - look in the microwave!|Scrawled on the wall}}


==Hey guise, it's illegal to publish their names==
== Justice? ==
 
The boys pled guilty blah blah blah and got away with it. Lol Canada.
 
== Vengeance ==
 
[[Internets]] tube junctions, like [[Facebook]] and [[Nexopia]], immediately rose up and formed the hate forums.  Even [[Bill Cosby]] hated them and refused to send [[cock|pudding pops]].  The Canadian version of [[The Man]] showed up in the small town, going from house to house warning people not to name names.  When he found the Facebook posts, he went to the posters' homes and threatened little children with jail time unless they used their accounts to delete the names from Facebook.  Because [[O RLY|the names were nowhere to be found]], internutters went even more nutters, even offering rewards for the names<sup><span class="plainlinks">[http://groups.google.com/group/edm.general/browse_frm/thread/6c8368fba8b8eeec/c09c3821d2640ba4?lnk=st&q=camrose+cat+killers+names#c09c3821d2640ba4]</span></sup>.
 
== Guise, it's illegal to publish their names ==
<!-- named for great justice and endless lulz -->
<!-- named for great justice and endless lulz -->
*'''Sam Sheppard'''
*'''Sam Sheppard'''
*'''Sabian Jordan Ryan'''
*'''Sabian Jordan Ryan'''
*'''Mac Ryan '''
*'''Mac Ryan'''
*'''Jesse Gillis'''
*'''Jesse Gillis'''


Mac Ryan's Facebook Account.
== Updates ==
* http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1066432096


Sabian Jordan Ryan's Facebook Account.
Mac Ryan and Sabian Jordan Ryan are brothers who were involved in the robbery and animal torture. As of 2012, the Ryan brothers live in Edmonton, Alberta, and are in a garden variety rock band called "Any Last Regrets". In addition to [[lol|being in a band]], Mac Ryan now works at [http://www.earls.ca/locations/search/full_list Earls Tin Palace] in Edmonton, and Sabian attends Victoria School Of Performing And Visual Arts.
* http://www.facebook.com/#!/CrucifiedToADream


Notice how their facebook pages are covered in hardcore emo death metal screamo shit and how Sabians URL is 'CrucifiedToADream'. These guy's are [[pussies|really tough and hardcore]] so [[DO IT FAGGOT|do not mess with them]].
Oh look, Facebook accounts:
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1066432096 Mac Ryan], now known as "Macaully Von Bathory".
*[http://www.facebook.com/CrucifiedToADream Sabian Jordan Ryan's Facebook Account]


==Vengeance==
Notice how their Facebook pages are covered in hardcore emo death metal screamo shit and how Sabian's URL is 'CrucifiedToADream'. These guy's are [[pussies|really tough and hardcore]] so [[DO IT FAGGOT|do not mess with them]].
[[Internets]] tube junctions, like [[Facebook]] and [[Nexopia]], immediately rose up and formed the hate forums.  Even [[Bill Cosby]] hated them and refused to send [[cock|pudding pops]].  The Canadian version of [[The Man]] showed up in the small town, going from house to house warning people not to name names.  When he found the Facebook posts, he went to the posters' homes and threatened little children with jail time unless they used their accounts to delete the names from Facebook.  Then, with the information on the names nowhere to be found, internutters went even more nutters, even offering rewards for the names[http://groups.google.com/group/edm.general/browse_frm/thread/6c8368fba8b8eeec/c09c3821d2640ba4?lnk=st&q=camrose+cat+killers+names#c09c3821d2640ba4].


==Junctions to see==
**[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1219117460 "Sav Schlosser"], Mac Ryan's girlfriend
*[http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=8389355682 Camrose Cat Killers - Prosecute them as adults!]
**[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=673981146 Carol Plant], their grandmother. [[no|She must be very proud]].
*[http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/cityplus/story.html?id=7598d931-87cd-4a61-a572-640d8feb0867&k=2110&p=1 More story!]
**[http://www.facebook.com/1244989313 Dylan James Michael Ryan], their brother


== The Perpetrators ==
== See also ==


*<s>[http://lazysupper.com/?m=200807  It's not illegal to identify them in Japan ;)]</s>
*[[Luka Rocco Magnotta]]


==See also==
== External links ==


*[[Luka Rocco Magnotta]]
*[http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=8389355682 Camrose Cat Killers - Prosecute them as adults!]
*[http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/cityplus/story.html?id=7598d931-87cd-4a61-a572-640d8feb0867&k=2110&p=1 More story!]
*<s>[http://lazysupper.com/?m=200807  It's not illegal to identify them in Japan ;)]</s>
*http://www.wikigrain.org/?req=Camrose+cat+killing


{{animals}}
{{animals}}

Revision as of 22:17, 14 April 2012

Hey! This article is an Encyclopedia Dramatica exclusive.
This article is only for the discriminating lulz connoisseur.
If you have any exclusive drama to add, click here.
How dare they.
Artistic impression of the microwave post-cat.

Sam Sheppard, Sabian Jordan Ryan, Mac Ryan, and Jesse Gillis, known collectively as the Camrose Cat Killers are four pussies who microwaved a cat named Princess after robbing[1] their neighbors' home in Camrose, Alberta, Canadia on December 29 and December 30, 2007. When the story broke, the Internet took notice, not just because the Internet loves cats, but also because of the strange Canadian law that prohibits publishing their names, since they were juveniles when they committed the crime.

   
“ 		 
You HAD a nice cat - look in the microwave!
  		„
  		 

—Scrawled on the wall

Justice?

The boys pled guilty blah blah blah and got away with it. Lol Canada.

Vengeance

Internets tube junctions, like Facebook and Nexopia, immediately rose up and formed the hate forums. Even Bill Cosby hated them and refused to send pudding pops. The Canadian version of The Man showed up in the small town, going from house to house warning people not to name names. When he found the Facebook posts, he went to the posters' homes and threatened little children with jail time unless they used their accounts to delete the names from Facebook. Because the names were nowhere to be found, internutters went even more nutters, even offering rewards for the names[2].

Guise, it's illegal to publish their names

  • Sam Sheppard
  • Sabian Jordan Ryan
  • Mac Ryan
  • Jesse Gillis

Updates

Mac Ryan and Sabian Jordan Ryan are brothers who were involved in the robbery and animal torture. As of 2012, the Ryan brothers live in Edmonton, Alberta, and are in a garden variety rock band called "Any Last Regrets". In addition to being in a band, Mac Ryan now works at Earls Tin Palace in Edmonton, and Sabian attends Victoria School Of Performing And Visual Arts.

Oh look, Facebook accounts:

Notice how their Facebook pages are covered in hardcore emo death metal screamo shit and how Sabian's URL is 'CrucifiedToADream'. These guy's are really tough and hardcore so do not mess with them.

See also

External links

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