Orvillecopter

Srs scnz!

It is usually the case that when a beloved family pet dies the average person will take it upon themselves to dig a hole in the backyard, bury them in an old shoebox and have done with it. The extraordinary person however, will take their former companion's carcass and fuse it with machine parts. Such was the case with Bart Jansen, who took his dead cat Orville and transformed him into something more powerful than any living creature ever to have existed: ORVILLECOPTER™

Orvillecopter: Origins

Early prototype.

Back in the day, Dutch artist Jansen kept a house-cat by the name of Orville. All was fair and good in the world until Orville's life was tragically ended by an unfortunate encounter with a moving automobile. Following a brief period of mourning Jansen stuffed Orville's body into his freezer then, like a true Dutchman, embarked upon a six-month weed and hooker binge managing to entirely forget the by now frozen feline nestled deep amongst his pepperoni pizza and ice-cube trays. Once Jensen sobered up he was quick to convey Orville to a local taxidermist before then mounting an engine into his eviscerated belly and attaching propellers to each of his paws. After a few test runs, Jensen determined that his newly-created Orvillecopter™ was ready to be revealed to the world. He debuted the cyborg at an art fair and thus managed to spark a shitstorm which still rages to this day.

	“	After a period of mourning he received his propellers posthumously, he will receive more powerful engines and larger props for his birthday... (So) this hopping will soon change into steady flight.	„
	—Bart Jansen on overcoming design problems.

Orvillecopter Horrifies Sheltered White People

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!" - Ozymandias

Videos of the maiden-flight soon made their way onto YouTube resulting in viewers the world over suddenly becoming militant radicals of the animal-rights cause; here are a number of quotes from the outraged activists:

	“	When your mother dies, i'm gonna dissec her and put some pieces of metal in her stomach, drill her hands and put helicopter propellers, i think this could be an art. She's gonna look very good flying around the neighborhood... Dick!	„
	— I don't think Jensen would mind.

	“	wtf is your problem sheep? how about I make a humancopter? do you like to get animals killed they will get killed by kids fucking faggot because of this video.	„
	—Wisdom from the quintessential Youtube commenter.

	“	i dont understand whi did you turn dead cat into a heli??!! you could use plastic or something..	„
	—BF2FanNo1 doesn't understand art.

	“	Nope, Chuck Testa	„
	—"Hi, I came here from Reddit."

	“	Society is so freakin' screwed up. How can people enjoy this?	„
	—Wait until he discovers ED.

	“	i don t wanna live on this planet anymore... -_-	„
	—I'll bet five e-points that this 'activist' eats meat.

	“	Not the least bit cute, nor the least bit funny. This is just sick, as in mentally ill. People don't do things like this to a beloved pet unless they have some kind of mental issues they're not adressing. Stuffing the cat is stupid enough - adding helicopter parts to make it fly is pure insanity. If this person finds it amusing to do this to his own deceased cat, what else might he think of in the future? There are far too many horrors in the world as it is already. No one needs to see this one in addition to all the rest we hear about and/or see. This man is simply gross and disgusting, and seems to have many loose screws flying around inside his head.	„
	—This furious commenter was about one sentence away from invoking Godwin's Law.

	“	THIS IS JUST SICK!!!!! Who really thinks this is funny!!!! It makes me want to cry for the poor dead cat! What is wrong with this world today?!!! I have two cats and there is no way I would ever do something like this. I am going to be grieving when my cats die. Cannot believe this story was even posted!!!!	„
	—Never mind that some cultures preserve bodies as part of the grieving process.

	“	sick, lame, inhumane, lack of common sense. just promoting that many idiots with time, do stupid things without some compassion for living beings, what's next? a dog? a baby? your mom?	„
	—Yes, preserving a beloved pet equates to defacing a baby.

	“	Seriously - does society accept this... sick. Next he will be posting body parts to Dutch Politicians and everybody will wonder why.	„
	—A reference to our good friend.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Horrified netizens went on an e-rampage against Orvillecopter™, failing to acknowledge their own hypocrisy in expressing concern over something that was already dead when most of them eat meat from animals that are tortured throughout their entire lives. Some Dutch e-dwellers with a case of the feelies even managed to leave the musty confines of their basements in order to deface the convention center within which the art festival was being held. Jensen has remained strangely silent throughout the ordeal, probably preoccupied by the tsunami of loose bitches that comes with creating a successful work of art. He does, however, have this to say in regards to his greatest creation:

“	Now he is finally flying with the birds. The greatest goal a cat could ever reach!	„
—Truer words have never been spoken.

Oddly enough, PETA have also failed to speak up, suggesting that they too have been bedazzled by the aviatronic awesomeness of Orvillecopter™

Orvillecopter & Wikipedia

Being pseudo-intellectual cunts a motion was passed by Wikipedians for the removal of Orville's article; which had been created in order to highlight this astounding development in technology's relationship to the animal kingdom, it ultimately passed with a 70/30 majority in favour of its deletion. A link to the tl;dr debate has been appended into the External Links section of this article; aside from the usual claims of the subject lacking notability this spergfest did manage to produce a particularly heartwarming tribute to Orville in the form of a poem:

	“	Be thy son of Adam or daughter of Eve God bestowed upon us the power t'grieve For dearest furry friends flow tears of brine And inspiration to create artwork most divine: The helicopter feline Struck by a car whilst chasing a rat Orville's owner vowed to create "half machine, half cat" Disembowled, stuffed, preserved in formaldehyde Technology made him one sweet flying ride (And saved on cremation costs as an aside.) Alas, Orvillecat may not be a lasting tale Despite fifty citations in the Daily Mail Translated to myriad languages without fail (Not to mention eight separate versions in Braille.) But if we write poems and plays and musical themes, And perhaps some lolcats and Ceiling Cat cross-memes Orville, he may, he may yet live on And we'll google him for centuries a yonder and anon, And future wikipedians will wonder Just what drugs we were on.	„
	—Milowent

The original article:

Seems legit...

	“	This is the worlds first taxidermy / UAV hybrid, that's a significant advance for Art & Science! How could this possible not be notable?	„
	—JasperWallace

Orvillecopter in Action

AIRCAT Orvillecopter's Debut Orvillecopter-Final Flight Orvillecopter-Second Flight Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

• 
  So majestic.
• 
  "The greatest goal a cat could ever reach!"
• 
  Flying with the birds.
• 
  "The horror..."

See Also

• Art
• Animal Abuse
• Animal rights
• Ann Liv Young
• Avant-garde
• Bestiality
• Cat
• Dongcopter
• Holland
• Interior Semiotics
• PETA
• Taxidermy

External Links

• Bart Jansen's website.
• Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Orville (cat)
• Analysis of Orville's deleted Wikipedia entry.
• LA Times - Orvillecopter sparks global outrage.
• GadgetBox - Art or 'macabre' pet send off?

Orvillecopter is part of a series on Internet Cats

A Cat Is Fine Too • Almost-Chan • Arguecat • Arrow Cats • Basement Cat • Berry And Friends • Bikecat • Bincat • Binkers • Bonsai Kitten • Bukkake Milk • Burger • Business Cat • Cat in Microwave • Cat on a keyboard in space • Catnarok • Caturday • Ceiling Cat • Chase 'No Face' • Colonel Meow • Covercat • Dangerous Kitten • Death Cat • Dodge Cat • Drillcat • Emo Cat • Fishing Cat • FLOATERCAT • Frinkle • Garfield • Grumpy Cat • Happycat • Hipster Kitty • If it fits I sits • Inception Cat • Jarcat • Jewcat • JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR! • Keyboard Cat • Kitler • Lasercat • Lenincat • Lil Bub • Limecat • Lioncash Longcat • Maru • Monorail Cat • Mutant Cats • Nyan Cat • Octocat • Orvillecopter • Peter • Poko Ono • Pusheen • Scuba • Secret Kitty Club • Serious Cat • Shironeko • Shocked and Appalled Cat • Shortcat • Shotacat • Silencer Cat • Spaghetti Cat • Speedycat • Stalking Cat • Standing Cat • Starecat • Stalking Cat • Stubbs the mayorcat • Tacgnol • That Fucking Cat • Trollcats • Tubcat • Tulip • Weathercat • Wisdom Cat • YOUR CAT • Zippocat

Featured article August 31 & September 1, 2012
Preceded by Unrealistic expectations	Orvillecopter	Succeeded by Art School