Hann

Hann is a known Fed enabler, avoid them at all costs.

Hann is in an internet sissy fight with LulzSec. Please dig up lulz on them both.

Because real men hoverhand waitresses.

One moment...

hann aka cutepin, rcv (Power word: Michael Dean Major) is a professional coat-tail riding script kiddie, attention whore, and FBI informant, who actually managed to flunk out of CS III 5 times because he couldn't stop smoking crack before class. A true gangster online and off, hann is feared virtually everywhere he goes due to his understanding of basic UNIX commands and bitchen raps. It is a known fact that niggas can't handle him, nor will they ever be like him. When hann injected heroin for the first time sadly(lol) he contracted the HIV virus. Which he then went on to give his gift to his wife and her pregnant baby.

If one owes him money, they best go to Delaware, else they be snared and his fuckin' glock will undoubtedly blare them.

Modus Operandi

Who's got the crack?

1. Connect to an IRC
2. Social the opers by dropping names of people he's burned his bridges with, by pretending he's still cool with said people.
3. Whine/beg his way into having some sort of power.
4. Inevitably causes drama because he can't keep his dickskinners away from the keyboard.
5. Gets booted.
6. DDoS with botnets that other people gave him access to, which he stole after pissing them off.
7. Give HIV to anyone in his vicinity
8. Inject heroin on tinychat

Claims

• He's in a gang.
• He's a member of TeamPoison.
• m_nerva's LulzSec log drop was a very blackhat move.
• He dropped the Deus Ex and LulzSec logs.
• He didn't drop the Deus Ex and LulzSec logs.
• He lives in a neighborhood where he rarely sees white people.
• He was on staff at DEFCON 19.
• Everything Fox touches will not be allowed to stay online.
• Told someone he was in zf0.
• He's married.
• His wife doesn't know he "hacks".
• His mom is dead.

Mail Order Marijuana Salesman

Michael used to participate in mail order marijuana forums, on which he was physically incapable of doing a deal without ripping off the buyers. He would pretend to have weed to sell, and after getting paid, would wait until the buyer complained and say that the drugs must have been seized. After everyone realized what a cockhoarder he was, he was quickly banned. But not before more accusations against others being scammers, threats of DDoS and IRL retaliation and the general butthurt and whining. He claimed to be part of a gang, claimed he rarely saw white people and smoked crack, while trying to do deals with a grainy picture of sort of white looking stuff.

Deus Ex

After begging his way into Robert Cavanaugh's skiddie army, hann got to play the role of Joey and learn from the other, more skilled members of the channel. This group was most noteable for doing the Deus Ex hack, and blaming it on skidsr.us. When m_nerva dropped the logs of ev0 and nigg discussing how they should frame skidsr.us, hann latched onto his coat tails and stole some of the credit. When m_nerva leaked the LulzSec logs, hann again stole some of the credit, for no discernible reason. After getting doxed, hann did an interview with some site nobody's ever heard of about how he was this great greyhat, not long after m_nerva got v&.

#jester

Short version: hann /nicked to LandryTom, pretended to be this nice prosec person at first, with his little blog full of LFIs and admonishments towards the site admins to fix their software. Later, he turned on his new whitehat friends, and (among other things) booted th3j35t3r and some other #jester regulars by using an xchat DoS trick, which he had begged someone else to show him. The #jester regulars were unimpressed, and he shoved off.

@OpMonsanto: @LandryTom Get on IRC, I'll run Xchat on my Ubuntu box and screencap if you can exploit it.
@LandryTom: @OpMonsanto Ok, which network?
@OpMonsanto: @LandryTom Ill be on 2600 in #jesterlol

* TomLandry ([email protected]) has joined #jesterlol
<bluesoul120> ah yeah. stupid media
<opmonsanto> It made no sense lol
<TomLandry> ok ready
<opmonsanto> Just complete bs
<bluesoul120> haha it never does
<opmonsanto> Ohai TomLandry
* Received a CTCP VERSION from TomLandry
<TomLandry> -opmonsanto- VERSION xchat 2.8.8 Linux 2.6.35-22-generic [i686/2.41GHz]
<TomLandry> ok
<TomLandry> make sure you report what you saw
<opmonsanto> Rape me babyy!!
<TomLandry> and dont be faggot like shadow
<TomLandry> here comes :)
<TomLandry> i take it easy on you ok
<TomLandry> just imagine this x 1000
<TomLandry> ok
<opmonsanto> hit me hard xD
<bluesoul120> kinky
* opmonsanto takes a deep breath
<TomLandry> ok
<TomLandry> ok
<TomLandry> ok
<TomLandry> ok
* TomLandry has quit (Excess Flood)
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> * TomLandry has quit (Excess Flood)
<opmonsanto> :(
* TomLandry ([email protected]) has joined #jesterlol
<opmonsanto> Fail.
<opmonsanto> Harder, baby
* [TomLandry] ([email protected]): TomLandry
* [TomLandry] #jesterlol
* [TomLandry] pugwash.2600.net :Fetch aft the rum, Darby!
* [TomLandry] is connected via SSL (secure link)
* [TomLandry] idle 00:01:24, signon: Wed Aug 17 00:46:30
* [TomLandry] End of WHOIS list.
* TomLandry has quit (Excess Flood)
<opmonsanto> :(
<bluesoul120> :(
<bluesoul120> he just dcc'ing you a ton?
<opmonsanto> Yup
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> * TomLandry has quit (Excess Flood)
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> <TomLandry> �DCC
<opmonsanto> * TomLandry has quit (Excess Flood)
<bluesoul120> ah
<opmonsanto> Maybe he'll throw in a couple pings next time
<opmonsanto> xD
<bluesoul120> lol
<opmonsanto> And once again, a twitter troll fails to come through :(
<bluesoul120> It happens far too often.

BHA

Meme for summarization purposes

Michael Dean Major, Jr. originally showed up on Blackhat Academy's radar when he trolled school4lulz co-founder, John Field, by claiming responsibility for a ddos that he did not do using the alias "trooF". After "Fox" connected to the IRC and revealed Blackhat Acadademy's hub ip by doing so, trooF decided to have one of his friends packet and null-route Blackhat Academy. Because he was a doxbin staff member, staff members other than John Field arrived in doxbin IRC and successfully negotiated peace. This peace continued for some time. Not knowing trooF was none other than Michael, he was given administrative access to the forum, irc, and one VPS for use as a teaching tool because he would not quit whining about it and the staff wanted to maintain peace between the groups.

Not long after this, doxbin drama ensued, revealing that "trooF" was in fact hann, a snitch outed by lulzSec. Blackhat Academy staff promptly removed his administrative access. Michael then threatened to drop user IP addresses and logs of #opers if his dox were not removed from doxbin. The staff responded by announcing his demands and ignoring him. He then disappeared and left Blackhat Academy alone until he was outed for lying on his marijuana mail order forum by a Blackhat Academy co-founder and staffer. He then proceeded to DDoS blackhat academy for the actions of one person. After nulling them once and Blackhat Academy had recovered, he demanded that hatter, a co-founder of Blackhat Academy pull the plug on this article and remove his dox from doxbin or he would continue to DDoS the small CS III school because they'd flunked him once before:

18:50 <manhattan_> if you wanna get nachash to rm all his bs, which believe it or not is caused by you
18:50 <manhattan_> i will leave your shit alone
18:50 <manhattan_> otherwise
18:50 <manhattan_> they'll all die
'''6 minutes of tl;dr bullshit later:'''
18:56 <manhattan_> doxbin rm and no ed article
18:56 <manhattan_> which you seem to be pushing both
18:56 <manhattan_> thx

Knowing he had help from his friend Leica (Travis Mick) who runs a large botnet, Blackhat Academy moved to a better mitigated network and told him to packet everything. When he appeared in the channel whining, nachash, the maintainer of doxbin, promptly dropped the last four digits of Michael's social security number and then suggested playing a game of SSN hangman via his birth location, while Academy staff told him to go ahead and attempt to carry out any and all threats he'd made.

Doxbin

You goin down, fools

After being outed by LulzSec, hann turned to the 808chan people (who m_nerva had helped by dropping the Deus Ex logs). One of them, as it so happens, started doxbin. After begging, lying about his doxing capabilities (As well as his role in the Deus Ex log drop), and employing emotional blackmail, hann was snuck in as "troof" and given root on the doxbin box. He then proceeded to do nothing useful, and instead IRCed from it and got it nulled.

Later, after being given a list of names to get SSN's for (a relatively straightforward task, for someone who bragged about having a "connect" who would gladly give him whatever he requested), he again proceeded to do nothing useful, and claimed that his connection must have died. He was also invited to participate in releases numerous times, owing to his supposed doxing skill, but declined each time on the grounds that he doesn't know how to dox.

Finally, after massive IRC drama that was 100% his fault, doxbin's founder was given an ultimatum. Instead of picking between nachash and troof/interpolate, he decided to resign, and willed the site over to nachash. When troof was informed of this, he begged like a dog for the site staff to remain as it was, and was told "I'll think about it." During the next 48 hours (While nachash was still thinking about it), he managed to beg, whine, and social his way into getting the doxb.in domain, claiming it was his idea to register it, despite the fact that registering it was discussed before he was ever brought in. Once the domain was effectively stolen back, troof was unceremoniously booted. It was later found out that he was in fact hann, and much hilarity ensued again.

06:22:16 |-INFO > Irssi: Starting query in wtfux with a_
06:22:16 [-nachash > http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/User:Nachash/hann
06:25:41 [-a_ > boring as fk
06:25:43 [-a_ > try harder
06:25:59 [-nachash > rofl
06:26:08 [-nachash > Keep acting that way
06:26:09 [-a_ > boring as fk
06:26:10 [-a_ > roll harder
06:26:14 [-a_ > not an act lol
06:26:16 [-a_ > bunch of bs claims
06:26:24 [-nachash > lol
06:26:27 [-a_ > wtf is half of it lol
06:26:27 [-nachash > Bet you didn't even read it
06:26:35 [-a_ > bout 1/4th is true
06:26:41 [-a_ > rest i appreciate for misdirection and laughs
06:26:43 [-nachash > You're really gonna love how I spread it
06:26:48 [-a_ > ok
06:26:52 [-a_ > go forth
06:26:56 [-a_ > first eat a dick tho
06:27:04 [-nachash > Your future is going to be blackholed
06:27:09 [-nachash > Good luck getting a real job, faggot
06:27:14 [-a_ > o god
06:27:18 [-a_ > plz no
06:27:26 [-nachash > You'll be stuck cutting grass
06:27:35 [-a_ > i dont wanna lose my job because hackers are mad at me lol
06:27:42 [-a_ > i already covered my tracks with that one
06:27:50 [-a_ > anonymous is mad at me because i exposed their members
06:27:52 [-a_ > oh ok thx
06:27:57 [-a_ > is response by anyone other than ur circle
06:28:02 [-a_ > see what i did there
06:28:07 [-a_ > if anything you will help my chances
06:28:10 [-a_ > so go for it
06:28:31 [-nachash > lol
06:28:33 [-nachash > Whatever, kid
06:28:38 [-nachash > You didn't actually expose shit
06:28:44 [-nachash > You just rode m_nerva's dick
06:28:47 [-a_ > they are mad at u for giving out their logs that lead to 4/6 arrested
06:28:48 [-nachash > took the credit
06:28:49 [-a_ > why thx
06:28:50 [-nachash > or at least part of it
06:28:51 [-a_ > nope
06:28:59 [-a_ > i single handedly did it
06:29:03 [-nachash > lol, yeah.
06:29:04 [-nachash > Right
06:29:05 [-a_ > m_nerva sent em
06:29:07 [-a_ > and i did the rest
06:29:10 [-a_ > proudly
06:29:13 [-nachash > You didn't do shit, man
06:29:15 [-a_ > so get ur facts right
06:29:17 [-nachash > You never have, and never will
06:29:21 [-a_ > you fkn new in the scene
06:29:23 [-a_ > oh but then why u mad
06:29:24 [-nachash > Just like you didn't do shit on dx
06:29:31 [-nachash > other than run your mouth
06:29:32 [-a_ > why would u be so mad
06:29:34 [-a_ > if i never done shit
06:29:35 [-a_ > haha
06:29:39 [-a_ > ur mad
06:29:42 [-nachash > You just start drama
06:29:48 [-nachash > That's all you're capable of
06:29:52 [-nachash > at the end of the day
06:29:55 [-a_ > so keep up ur fail story
06:29:59 [-a_ > lmao @ you spending time of ur life
06:30:02 [-a_ > writing lies about me
06:30:04 [-a_ > hahahahaha
06:30:11 [-a_ > and then have the nerve in same sentence
06:30:12 [-nachash > Lies? I don't think so, little man
06:30:18 [-a_ > to call me reject and have no life, no girl etc
06:30:22 [-a_ > i got all that
06:30:23 [-a_ > and u dont
06:30:29 [-a_ > because look at how u spend ur time
06:30:30 [-a_ > hahaha
06:30:36 [-a_ > yes, 1/4th lies
06:30:37 [-nachash > lolololol
06:30:38 [-nachash > You know
06:30:43 [-a_ > i can clear some things up for you if you'd like
06:30:44 [-nachash > exactly nothing about me
06:30:47 [-nachash > which is just how I wanted it
06:30:56 [-nachash > Not interested
06:30:58 [-a_ > nope, you reveal everything by your pitiful actions
06:31:07 [-a_ > yeah u are basically writing a fiction story about me
06:31:08 [-a_ > lmao
06:44:41 |-INFO > a_ is now known as a
06:44:41 [-a > which will it be
06:44:59 [-nachash > What?
06:45:05 [-nachash > I /ignored you, bro
06:45:10 [-nachash > 06:30:58 [-a_ > nope, you reveal everything by your pitiful actions
06:45:10 [-nachash > 06:31:07 [-a_ > yeah u are basically writing a fiction story about me
06:45:10 [-nachash > 06:31:08 [-a_ > lmao
06:45:10 [-a > ok
06:45:17 [-nachash > Was the last shit I saw
06:45:21 [-a > well i said that if you want to leave things as is
06:45:24 [-a > i appreciate your original release
06:45:32 [-a > if you wanna leave things, i will vanish and u wont hear from me
06:45:44 [-a > if not there will be no end and u will be throwing ur friends under bus again
06:45:51 [-a > i will never relent if you want to keep pushing
06:45:55 [-nachash > lol
06:45:56 [-nachash > We both know
06:45:58 [-a > i was quiet for a good while until u stirred me back up
06:46:00 [-nachash > you'll just keep coming back
06:46:04 [-a > i know its hard for your ego to accept a manly agreement
06:46:05 [-a > nope
06:46:08 [-a > thats why i was gone for months
06:46:12 [-nachash > lol
06:46:13 [-a > and only showed when U STARTED AGAIN
06:46:16 [-nachash > I already have
06:46:18 [-nachash > agreements
06:46:19 [-nachash > with people
06:46:23 [-nachash > who aren't massive faggots like you
06:46:27 [-nachash > I can handle that sort of shit
06:46:31 [-a > well
06:46:32 [-nachash > but you're a barbarian and a whore
06:46:38 [-a > we can have one here thats very easy
06:46:38 [-nachash > and thus, I will not negotiate with you
06:46:48 [-a > ok but ask yourself
06:47:01 [-nachash > You don't have anything that anyone cares about
06:47:04 [-a > am i really getting hurt by an article filled with lies on a site that advertises 
               itself to be just that
06:47:08 [-nachash > Everyone has told you to rop logs or stfu
06:47:12 [-nachash > *drop
06:47:17 [-nachash > If you didn't care about this article
06:47:17 [-a > fuck logs lol
06:47:18 [-a > who keeps em
06:47:26 [-a > i dont
06:47:29 [-nachash > you wouldn't be trying to barter with me right now
06:47:30 [-a > i'd just like to be left alone
06:47:38 [-a > all im telling you is every site around you
06:47:39 [-nachash > lol, you threatened to drop #dox logs in #ed
06:47:41 [-nachash > And actually
06:47:42 [-nachash > you came back on twitter
06:47:43 [-a > wont see light of day
06:47:48 [-nachash > before I ever started fucking with you again
06:47:49 [-a > if that happens
06:47:55 [-a > did i talk to you?
06:47:56 [-nachash > rofl
06:47:59 [-nachash > Those stolen bots won't last forever
06:48:01 [-a > yeah play it off
06:48:05 [-a > none are stolen
06:48:09 [-nachash > You were already packeting most of the shit around me, dude
06:48:10 [-a > new 0day just for more
06:48:16 [-a > not until you started
06:48:20 [-nachash > It was only a matter of time
06:48:21 [-a > so if you want to agree 
06:48:24 [-nachash > Whose dick did you suck to get this shiny new 0day?
06:48:27 [-a > and i will say ok good release for the original
06:48:30 [-nachash > Ok, hann
06:48:32 [-nachash > It's this simple
06:48:35 [-nachash > Go fuck your mother in the ass
06:48:40 [-a > but the rest will be left to me being gone
06:48:40 [-nachash > If you have trouble with that
06:48:43 [-a > cant ded
06:48:45 [-nachash > I will fly to halethorpe
06:48:46 [-nachash > I know her address
06:48:53 [-a > yo mad as fk right now
06:48:56 [-nachash > and film myself fucking her
06:48:58 [-nachash > and send you a vid
06:48:58 [-a > calm down buddy
06:49:04 [-a > hardchats omg
06:49:06 [-nachash > lol, I am laughing super hard at you
06:50:58 [-nachash > and is being edited
06:51:05 [-nachash > to make it ready for prime time
06:51:13 [-a > ok well good luck to ya
06:51:31 [-nachash > And btw, bro
06:51:43 [-nachash > I checked the social security deqath index the first time I did your rls
06:51:44 [-nachash > plus obits etc
06:51:47 [-nachash > and your mom isn't dead
06:51:53 [-nachash > *death
06:51:53 [-a > mom ded
06:51:58 [-nachash > Public records are a motherfucker
06:52:02 [-a > rip
06:52:16 [-nachash > Are we done here?
06:52:27 [-nachash > I think we've agreed to mutually assured destruction
06:52:29 [-a > we will never be done
06:52:31 [-a > nope
06:52:35 [-a > there is no mutal
06:52:36 [-nachash > Well, I have
06:52:37 [-a > you cant destroy me
06:52:39 [-a > i can
06:52:39 [-nachash > ddos or stfu
06:52:40 [-a > so
06:52:43 [-a > best of luck
06:52:44 [-a > hehehe
06:52:49 [-nachash > ddos or stfu
06:52:50 [-nachash > ddos or stfu
06:52:50 [-nachash > ddos or stfu
06:52:51 [-nachash > ddos or stfu
06:52:51 [-nachash > ddos or stfu
06:52:52 [-nachash > ddos or stfu
06:52:53 [-a > all for what lol
06:52:55 [-nachash > Do it
06:52:56 [-a > u arent hurtin gme
06:53:00 [-a > u are writing stories
06:53:00 [-nachash > Hey, you're the one
06:53:04 [-nachash > saying you're gonna ddos shit
06:53:05 [-a > i would, but the site is already nulled
06:53:10 [-nachash > if I don't stop
06:53:24 [-a > yep, thats one way assure destruction
06:53:25 [-nachash > tl;dr put up or shut up
06:53:27 [-a > you arent hurting me
06:53:32 [-a > i havent?
06:53:34 [-nachash > There's other shit you can packet
06:53:35 [-nachash > Do it
06:53:36 [-a > you've already seen
06:53:37 [-nachash > Or better yet
06:53:39 [-a > hahaha
06:53:41 [-nachash > pwn dx
06:53:45 [-a > look at what u will do
06:53:48 [-a > for what
06:53:51 [-a > a grudge 
06:53:52 [-a > hahaha
06:53:54 [-a > ok bai
06:53:57 |-INFO > a [[email protected]] has quit [client exited: a]
06:53:57 [-nachash > You act like
06:53:59 |-INFO > a: No such nick/channel

The Life of a Basement-Dwelling Twitter Troll

Using the handle  LandryTom on Twitter, hann attempts to continue kissing up to higher-level script kiddies, and then "trolling" them when he is kicked from their channels. While the account is no more than a piss-stain on the good name of Tom Landry, children's psychiatrists likely view it as a holy grail of sorts, allowing them to study Autism in its purest form.

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IRL Drama

On 5/15/09, Michael Dean Major was detained at his local Wal-Mart for trying to steal a pair of $29.00 shoes and a $10.00 pair of gel insoles. When the cops arrived, they found a bag of weed in his front pocket and arrested him. He later plead guilty. At a later date he managed to get away with a laptop which he now controls his skid army from running windows 8.

Around June 2011, Mike wanted his ex-girlfriend to return some camping chairs, and couldn't stop sending her threatening text messages about it. When the chairs were returned, he didn't stop. Oh, no. He kept right on as though nothing had happened, because that's what women want. The girl and her sister liked it so much, that instead of tag-teaming him, they both got restraining orders against him.

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Today

These days, hann spends his time sending packets at everyone who ever talked down to him (and that list is quite long). He is also saving up for a Realdoll, as he is unable to form relationships with actual people without resorting to threats of violence or DDoS.

Wife?

20:15 <@hatter> hi dopamine 
20:16 < dopamine> no
20:16 < Zekiel> hatter pm?
20:16 <@hatter> Zekiel: yes
20:16 <@hatter> dopamine: no hello?
20:18 <@hatter> dopamine: you must be hann, you're only in #CSIII and doxbin
20:18 <@hatter> dopamine: I hope these aren't of your wife http://imgur.com/4OSjW,3CZmX,PfqRI,AwWX9 LOL
20:19 < dopamine> wait
20:19 < dopamine> whered you get that?
20:19 <@hatter> irlold
20:20 <@hatter> dopamine: You have until tomorrow to announce that @doxbin made you /quit the internet.  I suggest you take 
                that step by midnight.  I'd hate to have to call your performance technologies supervisor.
20:20 <@hatter> I'm going to go get some drinks.
20:20 <@hatter> You have 3 hours and ten minutes.
20:20 < dopamine> good go ahead and fuck with some random dude
20:20 < dopamine> i care
20:25 < epi> evening
20:29 -!- dopamine [[email protected]] has quit [client exited: Leaving]

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External Links

• Attempting to steal some of th3j35t3r's thunder as "hacktivist for good"
• LulzSec release
• Smoking Gun spot on our hero
• More dickriding on hann's part

Hann is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article January 29 & 30, 2014
Preceded by Pinkiepony	Hann	Succeeded by Weev