LulzSec

A classy bunch of hackers.

 LulzSec, also known as Lulz Security, Lool Sec, The Lulz Boat, and Louise Boat was a script kiddie group that made a name for themselves sql injecting several large websites and subsequently taking credit for it, branding themselves with a number of memes stolen from 4chan and the general Anonymous community. Looking at their Twatter, it is blindingly obvious that they are casuals at /b/ and that they use Twitter. Alternatively,  LulzSec's actions could be viewed as an epic win for the lulz of those who are not butthurt Sony fanboys.

Currently they are the ones who are butthurt and full of AIDS.

On the bright side they are no longer virgins.

Activities

Everyone at LulzSec is either an angsty teen or a manchild who kept too much interest in Anonymous without going into Scientology protests. Their 1337 hacking kit most likely involves Tor, LOIC and a green-on-black reskin for command line. If you ever step into their IRC (irc.lulzco.org #lulzsec) you will see what is meant by this.

Sony

 LulzSec want to finish Sony, notably by their attacks on the PSN network. However, this actually gives them a profit as since the beginning Sony were selling PS3s at a loss, so by reducing interest in the console they save Sony money. gg

 LulzSec gained wider notoriety by hacking into the Sony Pictures servers and stealing a few thousand usernames and passwords. They did this by a simple SQL injection, subjecting Sony to much ridicule and proving themselves to be nothing more than skiddies. It should be noted that Sony kept passwords stored as plain text, not even bothering to hash them. How Sony even exists in this day and age baffles scientists.

PBS

realest nigga alive

Last Thursday, The Lulzboat docked at PBS to reveal the truth about Tupac Shakur. World instantly knew it was a hack, because there aren't any niggers in New Zealand. Also pretty much dox'd everyone that works at PBS, so head on over to grab yourself a few more email addresses. As if government employees would know how to operate a computer to start with.

FBI

Once again proving their supreme hacking prowess,  LulzSec infiltrated a few FBI-affiliated websites by using still simple hacks that every web programmer knows about and were learned within the first three lessons at HackThisSite. Rather than showing that they are super 1337, this just shows that the FBI and their affiliates still suck at everything related to cyber-security, including protecting websites of companies that are specifically devoted to cyber-security and patching up security holes.  LulzSec (and every other CSIII student) could be taking these security companies' jobs soon.

One of the things discovered in this event is the FBI employees' easy-to-guess passwords and the fact that most FBI employees use the same password everywhere they go. Nice job, FBI, your training is going well I see.

Takedown Tuesday

LulzSec IS your personal army

Again with the supreme hacking prowess, LulzSec took down The Escapist (home of Zero Punctuation), Minecraft, EVE Online, and multiple other sites including those requested by users (see picture). In their words, this lead to a lot of Butthurt gamers who proceeded to call  LulzSec in order to shit on them. Their phone number is 614-LULZSEC. Within a few hours, they received a shitload of calls. Chances are shitting on their phone doesn't matter to them at all.

U.S. Senate and CIA

During the week of June 12 newfags hacked DDoSed the website of the United States Senate and the CIA. No one actually gave a shit, since neither of these websites contained any top-secret information. The Paultards and newfags of the internet rose in applause, while everyone with a brain went on with their lives.

Arizona DPS

On June 24, LulzSec hacked the Arizona Department of Public Security, claiming that they were doing it to protest Arizona's unjust immigration law. They released many many sensitive documents along with personal information on Arizona police officers, which is the Internet equivalent of a war crime due to the fact that said police officers didn't actually do anything.

They are currently enjoying the perks of being in Jail, and finally they may have lost their virginity.

LulzSec in the media

The LulzSec Timeline. They use stars and rainbows (based on the shitty Nyan Cat meme) to show their progress. Can this shit get any gayer?

As portrayed by Chinks

Probably the most accurate and FUCKING AWESOME news report to date. You'll never get this in your country.

As portrayed President Obama

Black Jesus himself calls the FBI to remind them that the internet is serious business.

As portrayed by a butthurt Russian

Some raver faggot brags about his 1337 use of tor, before being informed that LulzSec gotz skillz.

Counter Attacks

LulzSec Exposed

Sabu/God, the leader of LulzSec. SNITCH

In attempt to get rid of LulzSec, some fags on Blogspot (redirects to azn porn) created a site to dox LulzSec members in attempt to make them look stupid so they will not feel alone in their stupidness. In their doxing attempts, they found the leader of LulzSec, some thirty-year-old virgin from the ages of time. All their other doxes seem to result in finding a lot of unemployed neckbeards, the kind that found the time to partake in LulzSec's projects - they couldn't do anything else due to not affording more than 512 megs of RAM.

Because these guys are complete pussies, they refuse to post the dox they retrieved on people like Sabu. If they did, they'd be doing a lot of gamers and corporate bodies a favor.

Alias: Sabu, Xavier Kaotico
Real Name: Xavier de Leon
Street: 8952 Elizabeth Ave
Location: South Gate, California, USA
Zipcode/Postal: 90280
Age: 30 as of 2011-06-21
Websites: sabu.net, pure-elite.org, confinement.org
Profession: Independent IT consultant
Interests: Python programming, Linux, network security, exploit development
Email: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]

The above domains have vanished for some reason.

TeaMp0isoN

The results of Team Poison hacking a page that they think belongs to LulzSec.

U mad bro?

TeaMp0isoN is another group which has a faggy name that takes forever to type and at least one of their members can't spell. However, they're probably less faggy than one would initially think. For one thing, they claim that LulzSec is a group of script kiddies. For another thing, their logo isn't a useless reaction image stolen from 4chan. Third, they're probably not homosexuals. Beyond those things is still to be seen, since they might also be script kiddies and may or may not belong to the underground they claim to inhabit.

TeaMp0isoN hacked the website of a suspected lulzfag joepie91 and posted a message stating hacking involves stealing more then other peoples work, using google searches or clicking GUI buttons. Sven Slootweg, the owner of the hacked website sven-slootweg.nl, points out he is not a hacker;

	“	...compromised through exploiting a plugin in an outdated Wordpress setup, uploading a shell, and replacing the index page. I am not a member of  LulzSec (a statement I have made several times before in various places) noone "hacked the server" (this has been verified by the hosting company, as this website is on shared hosting) and this was definitely not an 'elite hack'.	„

Clearly someone who is not a hacker cares about the methods used to hack his site. Also points out TeaMp0isoN can't elite hack for some reason, probably pride.

The 50 Day Cruise Excuse

What follows is a great tldr; example of explaining your way out of collectively shitting your pants. It's only a matter of time before lulzsec get to experience 50 days of sodomy, which is never smooth sailing (unless you're the captain).

For the past 50 days we've been disrupting and exposing corporations, governments, often the general population itself, and quite possibly everything in between, 
just because we could. All to selflessly  entertain others - vanity, fame, recognition, all of these things are shadowed by our desire for that which we all love. 
The raw, uninterrupted, chaotic thrill of entertainment and anarchy. It's what we all   crave, even the seemingly lifeless politicians and emotionless, 
middle-aged self-titled failures. You are not failures. You have not blown away. You can get what you want and you are worth having it, believe in yourself.

...Again, behind the mask, behind the insanity and mayhem, we truly believe in the AntiSec movement.
We believe in it so strongly that we brought it back

read: our inflated egos prohibit us from appearing to run away like girls, so we are going to hide behind a bigger movement to spread the heat out.

We hope, wish, even beg, that the movement manifests itself into a revolution that can continue on without us.

read: We brought AntiSec movement back so you can go on without us and again, take the heat off us by failing just as badly at life as we have.

Our planned 50 day cruise has expired

Planned?

Member Arrests

Because the kids behind LulzSec believed they have a veil of Anonymity behind Twitter and IRC they thought they'd never be found by the popo. They were wrong.

Ryan Cleary

On June 21 2011, the British tea van paid a visit to ED fuhrer Ryan Cleary for his actions within  LulzSec. Upon his arrest he was reported to have proclaimed:

	“	brb, gas	„

Ryan was dubbed a major player by British authorities, and is currently on the brink of extradition to a bunch of angry Yanks.

Jake Davis

The old media soon revealed the true leader of Lulzsec to be an openly gay teenager known as Topiary. It was discovered that he was in fact the one distributing LOIC to Lulzsec members, enabling them to attack corporate websites. He also ran  LulzSec's  LulzSec Twitter account, which served to document his various emo rants about the man bringing him down.

	“	You cannot silence an idea	„
	—Tell that to the black man raping your sweet young ass in prison

Raynaldo Rivera

Raynaldo Rivera (aka "neuron" aka "that guy in the Home Depot parking lot") was a 21-year-old beaner from Chandler, Arizona who made the mistake of thinking that a spic could possess the intellectual capacity to successfully get away with h4x0ring. On August 8, 2013 he was sent off to federal prison to have a fiesta with his fellow wetback convicts.

	“	Por favor! No quiero assrape!	„
	—probably

PROTIP: Anarchy will never work.

Lulzsec returns (sort of)

In June 1, 2013 zeekill targeted srsvps under the name of LulzSec. What happened was that whenever people try to open Encyclopedia Dramatica it would redirect them to their site, this caused many users to become butthurt, and others just laughed at the incident. ED was dead for a grand total of 4 hours. Nevar forget.

This is what users saw when they tried to open Encyclopedia Dramatica.

See Also

• Sabu
• Sabu/Sabuspeak LOL lulzsec got invaded by a mexican.
• Goatse Security
• AnonSec
• Skript kiddie

External Links

• Lulzsec Identities Exposed
• Lulzsec homepage
• After FBI, before?
  • After Sony, before FBI
    • After PBS, before Sony
•  Lulzsec twitter

LulzSec is part of a series on Anonymous Visit the Anonymous Portal for complete coverage.

LulzSec is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

LulzSec is part of a series on Softwarez Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article June 28 & June 29, 2011
Preceded by Party Van	LulzSec	Succeeded by PETA