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{{breakingnews|'''Another mass shooting! Time to report on it as fast as possible and muddy up the facts!'''}}
{{an hero}}
{{quote|Death comes soon to the [[Tautogram|financially failing filth farm]] called the US}}


{{ib|Face unknown}}
{{ib|[[Image:Johnhouser02.jpg|200px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Name Unknown'''</big>}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''John Houser'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|November 22, 1955}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|July 23, 2015 (aged 59)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 2, injured 7}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 2, injured 9}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 25?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}}
{{Ibend}}
{{Ibend}}


[[Last Thursday]], on July 24th, [[2015]], an innocent hard working middle aged white man hailing from Lafayette, [[Louisiana]] went to the local theater to kick back, relax and enjoy a new flick he's been meaning to watch. Like with [[Dylann Roof]], a group of savages begun to provoke and attack him. With no way to calm the horde, our hero had no choice but to free himself using the liberating power provided by a [[Gun|Firearm]]. When the fierce standoff was finished, our hero reluctantly had to use lethal force against 2 aggressors before killing himself to avoid being lynched and eaten alive by these horrific uncivilized brutes.
July 23rd, [[2015]] was a [[typical]] day in [[America]]. An innocent, hard working middle aged white man living in Lafayette, [[Louisiana]] went to the local theater to kick back, relax and enjoy the [[unfunny|hilarious]] new [[Amy Schumer]] flick he's been meaning to watch. Like with [[Dylann Roof]], a group of savages begun to provoke and attack him. With no way to calm the horde, our hero, '''John Russell Houser''', reluctantly had no choice but to free himself using the liberating power provided by a [[Gun|firearm]]. When the fierce standoff was finished, our hero slayed two [[feminazi]] aggressors before taking a swig of pistol mouthwash to avoid being lynched and eaten alive by these horrific uncivilized brutes.


[[Some argue]] that the shooting was a [[false flag]] set up by [[Amy Schumer]] but that would imply [[No|that she is intelligent enough to come up with a hoax.]]


== Background ==


John was a 59-year-old mentally ill [[redneck]] whose illness was so severe that his wife hid his guns and his family had him forcibly locked up by the men in white coats; they even got a restraining order. In the 1990s, Mr. Houser often went on local TV shows, advocating for violence against filthy [[feminist]] cunts involved with abortion. If you don't know, abortion is responsible for the collective mass murder of [[Over 9000|over 60 million]] innocent Americans. Mr. Houser, is nothing short of a hero. He also wanted to keep women out of the workplace, which shows that he wanted women to be safe and for families to remain strong. He also supported [[Adolf Hitler]], and [[anarchy|anti-government]] positions [[Oxymoron|at the same time]]. His "extremist" views were used to fight against bleeding heart liberals [[for the lulz]].


'''These events are brand spankin' new, so don't expect for a dense article as of yet! We at ED are working our ass off researching and updating this article. Stay with us as we clear up the facts.'''
Sometime in [[2014]], John bought a shitty hi-point (the same manufacturers of the shit-tier rifle [[Eric Harris]] used) .40 caliber pistol at a pawn shop in [[Alabama]], despite having a very detailed rapsheet of violence and mental illness. As you see, all these pussy laws like the Brady Bill do not prevent any massacres but encourage innocent Americans to be nothing more than defenseless fleshbags.  


John was blacklisted from his traitorous degenerate family, and like many unfortunate Americans, found it difficult to survive in the workforce crushed by hyper-capitalistic [[Jew|nose niggers]]. With little options for survival, he turned to his mother and asked for help; he received 5,000 [[Jew|shekels]] and set out on an adventure, eventually finding himself in Louisiana, living in a cheap motel while trying to recollect himself. He was very active on the internet, and often posted wise words of wisdom such as these;


== See Also: ==
== John's Posts ==
*[[James Holmes]] Put in a similar situation against many more aggressors. Made it out alive after achieving a 12-0 kdr with 58 injured.
<center>
*[[High Score]] Sadly, our hero couldn't make the list..
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 350px;|font-weight: bold;
*[[Dylann Roof]] Another trailer trash psychopath hellbent on destruction armed with a similar handgun.
|It is possible, you might be the only one on the internet that has gotten through the censors. Though you probably are no less than a government information gathering devise, I will tell you how happy I am that the yield on the 10 year tres note is almost 3%. The end comes, and I love it!
 
|Messages posted in December [[2013]].
 
|America is so sick that I now believe it to be the [[truth|enemy of the world]]. I know next to nothing about [[Iran]], but the little I do know tells me they are far higher morally than this '''financially failing filth farm'''.
|The goyim know..
 
|The financial failings of the US, and the bleak outlook, are known to the world. The average person in the US has not however figured out that the US is employing censorship of the internet. If you type in NEWSPAPERS PUBLISHED IN IRAN, you will see about thirty such publications, none of which are published in their entirety, and none which your computer will translate. It might be permissible to put some political remark at the top of each page claiming bias, but to blackout all is nothing short of base censorship.
 
|John preaches the truth
 
|Type in any key words indicating the US practices censorship, and you will get magazine articles about the claims of censorship in Iran,North Korea, etc. You will not be able to find one scintilla of evidence the US would dream of it.
 
|more truth
 
|Type in WHITE POWER GROUPS and you get mag articles about their never ending claims of racism, and no information of how to find White power groups you might want to join. I could go on for months. My point? Censorship coupled with brainwashing, is always present before the fall of a significant political entity.Put this together with our newly found financial reality, and you’ve got notice of things to come.
 
|and nothing but the truth.
 
|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}}
</center>
 
== The Last Day ==
 
After driving to the theater, John watched Trainwreck for half an hour before being forced up by his sapient firearm, and forced against his will to attempt mass murder. [[Pig|Police]] have arrested the suspect and are working on selling it to Mexican drug cartels for a quick buck. Unsurprisingly, shooting up a romantic comedy flick resulted in primarily female injuries and deaths. John has proven himself as a valuable asset to the [[MRA]] cause everywhere, but he will never be anywhere near as good as [[Marc Lepine]].
 
== Graded Score ==
 
[[Image:Johnhouser01.jpg|right|180px]]
 
{{GradedScore|2| |18|2 kills and 9 injuries with 13 shots|12|Showing justified frustration to a shitty "Trainwreck" of a chick flick|8|Near-perfect timing to the 3rd aniv. of the Aurora shooting|15|[[An hero]] bonus and for targeting feminazis|55|F|So close... Try again in Hell, faggot.}}
 
{{Wanted|2}}
 
== Attempt #2==
On August 5th of 2015, another mentally ill motherfucker tried to copycat [[James Holmes]]. This time, the perpetrator was armed only with a Pellet gun and a bronze hatchet. He attempted to make the local screening of Mad Max more realistic, but managed to only get himself killed. The autist was a 29 year old hobo who pepper sprayed 2 chicks, showing that he might've been partially influenced by [[Chris Chan]] as well. There were no serious injuries besides the autist getting pwn'd by police.
 
== See Also ==
 
 
* [[Vester Lee "Bryce_Williams" Flanagan II]] &ndash; the black version of John
* [[James Holmes]] &ndash; put in a similar situation against many more aggressors. Made it out alive after achieving a 12-0 KDR with 58 injured.
* [[High Score]] &ndash; sadly, our hero couldn't make the list.
* [[Dylann Roof]] &ndash; another trailer trash psychopath hellbent on destruction armed with a similar handgun
* [[The South]]
* [[Umpqua Community College Shooting]]
 
== External link ==
* {{Twitter|jrustyhouser|Our hero's Twitter account}} {{archive|V5QUC}}
* {{fb|rusty.houser.56|His Facebook}} {{archive|AJUCo}}
* {{Steamgroup|johnhouser|John Houser electronic memorial}}
* {{Wikilink|2015_Lafayette_shooting|TOW coverage}}
* [http://heavy.com/news/2015/07/john-houser-lafayette-shooting-louisana-movie-theater-shooter-gunman-dead-suicide-record-photo-family-wife-girlfriend-children-criminal-white-job-facebook-video/ Five Fast Facts]


{{High Scores}}
{{High Scores}}
{{anheroes}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 26 and 27, 2015|[[Vermin]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Alan Sullivan]]}}
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:2015]]
[[Category:2015]]

Latest revision as of 02:20, 25 November 2024

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This page contains an hero.
   
“ 		 
Death comes soon to the financially failing filth farm called the US
  		„
  		 

John Houser
Born November 22, 1955
Died July 23, 2015 (aged 59)
Nationality: Americunt  
Highscore Killed 2, injured 9
Top 50? No
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? Yes


July 23rd, 2015 was a typical day in America. An innocent, hard working middle aged white man living in Lafayette, Louisiana went to the local theater to kick back, relax and enjoy the hilarious new Amy Schumer flick he's been meaning to watch. Like with Dylann Roof, a group of savages begun to provoke and attack him. With no way to calm the horde, our hero, John Russell Houser, reluctantly had no choice but to free himself using the liberating power provided by a firearm. When the fierce standoff was finished, our hero slayed two feminazi aggressors before taking a swig of pistol mouthwash to avoid being lynched and eaten alive by these horrific uncivilized brutes.

Some argue that the shooting was a false flag set up by Amy Schumer but that would imply that she is intelligent enough to come up with a hoax.

Background

John was a 59-year-old mentally ill redneck whose illness was so severe that his wife hid his guns and his family had him forcibly locked up by the men in white coats; they even got a restraining order. In the 1990s, Mr. Houser often went on local TV shows, advocating for violence against filthy feminist cunts involved with abortion. If you don't know, abortion is responsible for the collective mass murder of over 60 million innocent Americans. Mr. Houser, is nothing short of a hero. He also wanted to keep women out of the workplace, which shows that he wanted women to be safe and for families to remain strong. He also supported Adolf Hitler, and anti-government positions at the same time. His "extremist" views were used to fight against bleeding heart liberals for the lulz.

Sometime in 2014, John bought a shitty hi-point (the same manufacturers of the shit-tier rifle Eric Harris used) .40 caliber pistol at a pawn shop in Alabama, despite having a very detailed rapsheet of violence and mental illness. As you see, all these pussy laws like the Brady Bill do not prevent any massacres but encourage innocent Americans to be nothing more than defenseless fleshbags.

John was blacklisted from his traitorous degenerate family, and like many unfortunate Americans, found it difficult to survive in the workforce crushed by hyper-capitalistic nose niggers. With little options for survival, he turned to his mother and asked for help; he received 5,000 shekels and set out on an adventure, eventually finding himself in Louisiana, living in a cheap motel while trying to recollect himself. He was very active on the internet, and often posted wise words of wisdom such as these;

John's Posts

   
“ 		 
It is possible, you might be the only one on the internet that has gotten through the censors. Though you probably are no less than a government information gathering devise, I will tell you how happy I am that the yield on the 10 year tres note is almost 3%. The end comes, and I love it!


 

„
  		 

—Messages posted in December 2013.

   
“ 		 
America is so sick that I now believe it to be the enemy of the world. I know next to nothing about Iran, but the little I do know tells me they are far higher morally than this financially failing filth farm.


 

„
  		 

—The goyim know..

   
“ 		 
The financial failings of the US, and the bleak outlook, are known to the world. The average person in the US has not however figured out that the US is employing censorship of the internet. If you type in NEWSPAPERS PUBLISHED IN IRAN, you will see about thirty such publications, none of which are published in their entirety, and none which your computer will translate. It might be permissible to put some political remark at the top of each page claiming bias, but to blackout all is nothing short of base censorship.


 

„
  		 

—John preaches the truth

   
“ 		 
Type in any key words indicating the US practices censorship, and you will get magazine articles about the claims of censorship in Iran,North Korea, etc. You will not be able to find one scintilla of evidence the US would dream of it.


 

„
  		 

—more truth

   
“ 		 
Type in WHITE POWER GROUPS and you get mag articles about their never ending claims of racism, and no information of how to find White power groups you might want to join. I could go on for months. My point? Censorship coupled with brainwashing, is always present before the fall of a significant political entity.Put this together with our newly found financial reality, and you’ve got notice of things to come.


 

„
  		 

—and nothing but the truth.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

The Last Day

After driving to the theater, John watched Trainwreck for half an hour before being forced up by his sapient firearm, and forced against his will to attempt mass murder. Police have arrested the suspect and are working on selling it to Mexican drug cartels for a quick buck. Unsurprisingly, shooting up a romantic comedy flick resulted in primarily female injuries and deaths. John has proven himself as a valuable asset to the MRA cause everywhere, but he will never be anywhere near as good as Marc Lepine.

Graded Score


Graded Score
Kill count: 2/20
Accuracy: 18/20 2 kills and 9 injuries with 13 shots
Style: 12/20 Showing justified frustration to a shitty "Trainwreck" of a chick flick
Butthurt: 8/20 Near-perfect timing to the 3rd aniv. of the Aurora shooting
Bonus: 15/20 An hero bonus and for targeting feminazis
Total Score: 55/100 (F)
So close... Try again in Hell, faggot.
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Police Force


Attempt #2

On August 5th of 2015, another mentally ill motherfucker tried to copycat James Holmes. This time, the perpetrator was armed only with a Pellet gun and a bronze hatchet. He attempted to make the local screening of Mad Max more realistic, but managed to only get himself killed. The autist was a 29 year old hobo who pepper sprayed 2 chicks, showing that he might've been partially influenced by Chris Chan as well. There were no serious injuries besides the autist getting pwn'd by police.

See Also

External link


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Featured article July 26 and 27, 2015
Preceded by
Vermin 		Grand 16 Shooting Succeeded by
Alan Sullivan
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