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Taekesi
Taekesi is in an internet sissy fight with AbsenceOfTheAbsent. Please dig up lulz on them both. |
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
Taekesi (Matthew J Harrison IRL), is a wapanese self proclaimed YouTube trolling legend. He's been on YouTube under countless identities. Usually his accounts can be determined by badass names like "SecretAgentTaekesi" and the use of clips from shitty Azn action movies. This kid calls himself "legende". Let that sink in. What the fuck is a "legende", anyway?
—Number of failed blanking attempts of this article: |
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Update: Matt Harrison lives with his dad, brother and grandparents in one house. Unlike his brother who goes to Kent University, Matt is stupid, spoiled and busy in his fantasy world (like most furfags would be). This failure enraged the family, so the grandparents decided to only allow Matt to stay, if he finds a job. However Matt is in big trouble now. He has recently lost his part-time job at Carluccios in Walton on Thames, when his manager discovered the true horror Matt has caused with his Taekesi persona on Internet. Boy, they were not impressed! Due to this shock and his current absence in looking for another job so he won't get kicked out, Matt asked his best pal, Skuee (Matt Gilmore) who shares the Taekesi account and socks with him to keep the Legends alive and strong. For extra cash, Matt has online business selling kids costumes on ebay, which only proves he's a pedophile faggot who likes to measure sizes. On dailybooth he spends time looking at emo dudes and giving them compliments and asking them if he could brush their hair. Taekesi also believes if you have big hands than you have a big dick.
Ebay account: http://myworld.ebay.co.uk/yehcostumes
Note: After getting exposed by one of his own rivals, he changed his ID from yehimmatt to yehcostumes, but the fool does not know that on ebay there is an option to view ID history.
Video evidences of Matt getting exposed:
Dox
Matthew J Harrison
- 4 Sandy Way
- Walton-on-Thames
- Surrey
- KT12 1BL
- United Kingdom
- 07800893827 (Cell)
- 01932 703 479 (Home)
Family:
- Elliot A Harrison (Brother)
- Matthew George Harrison (Father)
- Ann Gould (Grandma)
- Peter J Gould (Grandpa)
His Mother could be dead!
Various accounts on other sites:
http://steamcommunity.com/id/yehimmatt
http://www.formspring.me/yehimmatt
http://lifestream.aol.com/stream/yehimmatt
Taekesi IRL
The Great Legende happens to be an emofaggot in real life.
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Go die,emo. ROFLMAO!
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Emo here.
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Taekesi cannot wash his hair afraid it won't stay greasy so he prefers spending time in the washroom taking pictures of him for his DailyBooth account.
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Too greasy to ever use anything here.
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It's L from Death Note.
Confirmed
On September 28th, 2010 Taekesi has been finally exposed to be Matthew J Harrison with the ultimate evidence of all time.
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More proof that Taekesi is Matthew J. Harrison, LOL!
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Matt gets trolled and drops cover on one of his sock puppets
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Same old comment, with different accounts.
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How to Troll like a Boss
Think you're hot shit in the trolling world? Thinks again. Taekesi is a pro, taking on only the most challenging targets like furfags and vloggers no one cares about. Taekesi is such a legend that he has moved beyond the need to actually hack accounts. He just edits HTML and records it with camtasia studio. So l337. Don't get any ideas from this page though, questioning his methods will lead to countless spam posts calling you "jew", a "daft cunt", or nigger". He loves black cocks also.
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CAPS Rage. Random insults can offend the Legende.
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CAPS Rage. Taekesi gave up trolling and left.
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Taekesi doxing.
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Taekesi obtaining dox, again.
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ED recognized Taekesi as a butthurt failure.
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Butthurt, amirite?
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Taekesi, proving he can't hack (Asking for passwords)
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Taekesi is sending a SWAT team. lol
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Taekesi skips geography lesson. LOLWUT?
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"Potato eating nigger", Taekesi's ultimate insult against all kind of odds.
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Taekesi officially suffers schizophrenia.
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Taekesi backing himself up. Now on MSN. This screenshot was took right after Taekesi signs out of MSN after a snap.
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Taekesi installed Virus to ED to prevent users from reverting.
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He will totally DMCA ED.
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Taekesi the begger. Lol, because begging = trolling.
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Taekesi attacked by Jews.
Taekesi is such a legendary troll that he can have all the excuses of why not answering your questions, also whenever he mentions his ED article then it means "LMAO! I'm Butthurt amirite?"
Taekesi says: Hello, emofaggot failure. wat says: whats wrong my man lets talk about whats bugging you Taekesi says: You are fucking cancer. That is the problem. wat says: You dont even know who I am Taekesi says: LMFAO! You're a [[doxxed]] failure and a friend of IHM, ROFL! Fucking nigger. wat says: people say that but is either true no so what do you know not much however I know all about you Taekesi says: Pfffh, you're a fucking child. You know nothing of the internet. wat says: so how can you even talk to someone about being a faggot for being doxed, when you're a doxed faggot explain this to me Taekesi says: Shame you believe everything you read on ED, daft cunt. ROFLMAO! wat says: I dont have to I know its accurate Taekesi says: Prove it, nigger. wat says: by the way they tracked you down you were sloppy Taekesi says: *Prove it, nigger. wat says: kind of like how you can prove im doxed? Taekesi says: LMFAO! Butthurt? wat says: you didnt answer my question the real question is why you think anyone cares about you at all Taekesi says: I don't answer to niggers. wat says: you dont bring anything to the table that I can see you're so mindfucked right now you just lash out at people trying to get some semblance of win after all that fail prove me wrong Taekesi says: Legends don't get mindfucked, daft nigger. wat says: I mean if you want to convince yourself that sure, but then whos living in the illusion why u try so hard ? what is there to compensate for Taekesi says: Pssh, it comes easy for a Legend like myself. LOL! wat says: legends dont talk like faggots faggots talk like faggots if you were the shit Taekesi says: You've heard my voice? wat says: why owuld you waste your time 'trolling' Taekesi says: Keep dreaming, faggot. wat says: if thats what you call it more just projecting your own mindfuck onto others cuz thats the only way you can see to cope with the overwhelming shit that is your life Taekesi says: LMFAO! Keep reading ED you daft cuntbag. See where it gets you. wat says: I dont need to read anything this is based on everything you've ever said that ive heard Taekesi says: FUCK YOU. Nigger. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Taekesi has signed off.
YouTube Exposures
After owning butthurt silly jews, Taekesi write a fake dox about them and release it in a video on YouTube along with a MSN ownage. He is alway using the same song "Somebody's Watching Me" remixed by Mysto & Pizzi, even though he claims to be the music producer with his Uncle.
Taekesi Vandalizing ED.
Taekesi created countless of ED accounts to vandalize this page and destroy all evidence. Simply because Taekesi cannot handle the truth, he copied contents from Wikipedia about LEGENDS and added to his ED article.
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ED Accounts so far
- Taeksei
- ThyLegende
- Fdsfdsfdsfdsf
- INaekei
- Legende
- MrTaekesi
- TakeshiKitano
- GeorgeKurai
- ItsMasshuuChen
- LegendKurai
- LeLegende
- MrLegende2
- Maekesi
DMCA Threat DDoS Threat
After many unsuccessful blanking attempts, Taekesi finally realized that wanting to get everything removed from this article will only make him look butthurt and offended, which could ruin his Legend reputation a lot, and if all Asian Legends, who don't exist, might find this article and will never ever look up to him again. He not only wants to remove all content of this article, but the whole history that recorded his butthurt, failed blanking attempts, so he came to the point to file a DMCA on the article in hope of getting the article taken down. This plan is so epic win.
Taekesi finally realized that he can't couldn't figure out how to file a DMCA to get an ED article removed, so he now decided to DDoS the entire site. He tried to take down IHM's 94chan before, and he failed. The wannabe hacker can't do it alone, he keeps dragging his possible hacker friend, Aush0k into his personal problems. Aush0k doesn't seem give a fuck and uses Taekesi for his own amusement, because the kid makes a complete faggot out of himself at every opportunity.
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If it's so fail, why does he want to remove?
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Taekesi, Aush0k (who probably doesn't give a fuck), and Legende (sockpuppet of Taekesi) are going to DDoS ED.
Aush0k
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The Legendes.
Taekesi is suffering in Schizophrenia and created an entire army of sockpuppets to compliment himself and tell everyone how he owned and hacked people all the time. It all started with his sock account duali, which he used to pretend to be a girl and was always supporting himself, but he exposed himself when he posted with a wrong account. Then it was the 1nt3rnet, also blowing his cover again. Then he started making 5 new accounts per day, all asian personas: Naekei (MrNaekei, NotNaekei, NaekeiTakahashi, SuperSpyNaekei), GeorgeKurai (LegendaryKurai, MrKurai), ThyLegende (InternetLegende), takeshikitano, MaesukiHarisu and many more. He used those to compliment and agree with himself, but he clearly doesn't know how the internet works or he's just fucking stupid. He thinks that people are really stupid and think that Naekei isn't him, but with every account he is typing the same way, always with LOL!, LMAO!, ROLF!, ROFLMAO! and calling everyone a nigger or a jew. His over-useage of commas is painful, and is an obvious give-away as he is fucking stupid enough to think people wont realise.
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Taekesi blowing his cover as duali.
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ThyLegende exposed to be Taekesi.
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Taekesi forgetting to switch accounts.
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What's this? ThyLegende does not exist?
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Taekesi filled a whole entire comment page by talking to himself.
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Lol wut?
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Lol, arrested.
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ThyLegende exposed to be Taekesi for the second time.
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1nt3rn3t exposed as another sock puppet.
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Proof that Taekesi never got laid, but with himself.
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ThyLegende exposed to be Taekesi for the third time.
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Taekesi exposed to be Mqtt.
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ThyLegende and Shigeo having asskissing competition.
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Taekesi thanking his own sockpuppets. Absence gets excited that he's sane for once in his life.
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Full page of sockpuppet rage
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Taekesi self-complimenting himself as Taekesi. He does not know how the Not{username} works.
Biographies
Taekesi is a friendless emo child from the United Kingdom who has developed a very elaborate fantasy world which is refered to be as "Legend of the Kitano family". A world where Taekesi is a nephew of a Yakuza boss and has serious business to do IRL online. Apparently the Yakuza is operated in the communist North-Korea from a penthouse. Because we all know in Communism there can be private property. There are multiple characters involved in this super unoriginal story he has designed. All of these characters are played by Taekesi/Matthew himself. Here is a full list of all the sockaccounts Taekesi/Matt likes to play pretend and talk to himself with on peoples channel comments:
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Legende / ThyLegende / InternetLegende
Probably the biggest asskisser and gayest faggot you have ever seen in your life. In his teenage years Legende was caught doing nasty stuff, Taekesi wanted a gay boyfriend and asked his Uncle that instead of saving Shigeo's ass from going to prison, he should help a homeless faggot who could take Shigeo's place as a brother. (Note: Shigeo does not know he had to go to prison because of this. 5 years later when he got out, Legende was scared he'll find out the truth, and thought the best solution to save his life is kissing Shigeo's ass and calling him "My Brother.") Hhowever if we leave Taekesi's fantasy dream world, we would all know that Legende, his most trusted friend who would save the ultimate Legend's ass from any harm, has been exposed to be Taekesi multiple times, but the final evidence of ThyLegende's non-existence shows that Taekesi has been talking to nobody but himself on Skype all this time.
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Duali
Duali is a female news reporter in Japan, who was claimed by Taekesi to be having sexual intercourse with Taekesi when he was attending business in Tokyo. However, this sockpuppet had no more further plots in the Kitano family. As soon as she was exposed to be a sockpuppet of Taekesi, she was never seen on the Internetz ever again. But Taekesi still maintains his point that he had sex with her. We believe him, because having sex with your socks is perfectly OK, because William Rigsby approves it.
Naekei
Other than a ripped off character from Japanese cop movies, you can't tell what's the whole idea with Naekei. He is mostly used for giving Taekesi lots of complements and nothing else. This sockpuppet has no background, no meaning to live, just saying the same "Taekesi is a Legend", "Taekesi is truly a god amongst men" bullshit over and over again.
Naekei is not Taekesi. No, not at all! Ultimate Proof of Naekei being the socky the sockpuppet that gives Taekesi an e-handjob to his glory.
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TommySonataro
Nuff said, end off, ROFLMAO! Owned.
Another fail sockpuppet account who made a video tribute for the Legends in 2010. According to Taekesi, Tommy is from the Mafia who has important business with his Uncle. Expect Taekesi to upload a video tribute in the end of 2011!
iGeorgeKurai
He used to use the name GeorgeKurai as his main account about a year ago, right before he changed it to Legende for a few months followed by Naekei for about 3 months later and then eventually changed it back to Taekesi as a return of that imaginary legend character.
koreasucks
Taekesi's South-Korea hating sockaccount. Obviously proves him to be a communist. He gets free red rockets from North-Korea just to beat up a few south korean people. He finds them as a disgrace. This sockaccount is like Naekei, no more than complimenting and agreeing with Taekesi all the time.
1nt3rn3t
Another of the very first sockaccounts Taekesi used to give his e-cock a sockjob.
MrPaulCipriani
A "Mafia Don" character in New York City who associates with Taekesi's Uncle. Obviously another sockpuppet which uses a John Travolta picture from the movie "From Paris With Love" as a profile pic. He is claimed to be a This sockaccount was only meant for trolling AbsentOfAbsence, so they will only reply "Nobody gives a fuck, nigger. Go Die." to your comments.
PaulieCiprianiJr
Son of Mr. Paul Cipriani. He uses to back up the sockpuppet above.
Traitors
Strange thought it seems, Taekesi maganed to backstab himself and now wants to finish his socks once and for all.
The Taekesi Fanbase
As an incredibly awesome Legend he is, Taekesi has attracted lots of lots of faggots around him. They have surrounded him, There is no way out! These boys were never laid, and Taekesi might lose his virginity to one of these horny fanboys who are lusting for his tiny asian penis.
Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway is a fat weeaboo american teenager, who fell in love with Taekesi and likes getting owned by the Legende himself. Probably, Taekesi doesn't need to fear him, because he's more likely wanting to get it in him. But who knows, who knows.
BodyXPolitic
BodyXPolitic is 13 year old weeaboo boy who is in love with Taekesi, and would troll anyone who thinks Taekesi's an emo. In MSN conversations, he would take out his drawing tablet and starts drawing sexy pictures of Taekesi. Yes, he drew Taekesi as a muscular super model.
DalHusky
Taekesi had no friends, no fans, and no supporters, until a zoophile, who hated the same person with same passion as Taekesi, appeared to the scene. Taekesi, the great legende and furfag hater he is, ignored TrollsHaveNoLife's beastality and offered his friendship. Whenever he's been laugh at for having a zoophile friend, he either denies it or just simply says: "Fuck You, Nigger.", but till this very day, he goes to this zoophile's channel telling how he owned the same guy whom they despise a lot. Their alliance will only last until their common enemy does not leave the Internetz forever. Also, THNL is a tolerant, open-minded, liberal who opposes violence, but it's OK to call people a JEWISH NIGGER as long as it does not offend zoophile rights.
Kobidobidog
Another dog-fucking zoophile who loves Taekesi as an amazing good friend. Kobidobidog has seen an image of Taekesi being in a furfag porn in which a guy who looks alike him is fucking a female horse. As response to ED article of Taekesi, kobidobidog said this: "give him peace to be able to make sexual love to his horses without having anyone give him guilt" Taekesi now does not only have the support of a over 55 years old zoophile, but the "good Lord" as well who according to kobidobidog smiles at dogs getting raped in the ass. Taekesi will use Kobidobidog's God to strike down his enemies and finally be recognized as true a Legend.
Paul Weisner
He has his own article about the same drama he and Taekesi are involved in, so just click here to read >>> 8=====O
- Note that Taekesi hates jews and Kumichoo has a giant nose, bigger than his cock.
Anthony (Stalight) Taylor
The latest great friend and support of Taekesi. Also another zoophile as well, who praised/worshipped Taekesi and calling him an utter Legende for nothing. This is the third animal fucker he has become friends with.
The story begins with Anthony having a vision one night. His spirit unicorn wife, Moonlight came to predict the future that he will find a friend who will help him destory his enemies, because the enemies are his enemies too. Then it happened, Anthony was having hard times on Youtube with the trolls until Taekesi arrived to save the day. They immediately became friends and both were plotting how to get rid of their enemies once and for all. Fortunately, one of the trolls was clever enough to fake his account being hacked by Taekesi. Taekesi didn't care, he just liked having credits for nothing, as always. Anthony got so happy, he kissed his monitor screen featuring Taekesi's photo, and decided to make a Thank You Tribute Video for his victory over the trolls. Three days later Anthony got hacked by the same troll who faked his own account with the help of his friend. Taekesi shit himself in fear and declined his friendship with the zoophile unicorn like if it never happened.
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Kobidobidog Loves Taekesi for all of eternity.
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Expecting compliments from a dogfucker.
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Proof that THNL is indeed a zoophile.
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Taekesi attracts gay people. Charlie wants some love.
Taekesi's Family
Uncle (Maekesi)Takeshi Kitano
Taekesi claims to have an uncle who owns literally over 9000 penthouses in all Asia, and still purchases 3 or 4 more a day, because he is fat and greasy and has lots of money to buy his nephew whole Disneyland in Hong Kong. However as great a Legende Taekesi is, he couldn't shut his mouth and told random strangers of the Internet about his uncle being an actual Yakuza Boss. If that was true, then Taekesi is gonna be killed and tossed in to the sea to make it look like an unfortunate accident to the world news.
According to Taekesi, "Penthousy 101" is in Tokyo, a building where you order penthouses. There Taekesi had a VIP Legend meeting, but all his Legend buddies are proven to be all his sock accounts. Such building does not exist.
Whenever he wants to ragequit a conversation, he always brings up his uncle as an excuse why he has to leave.
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Watching Chow Yun Fat in my uncle's 178th Penthouse, also relaxing in a Jacuzzi while typing to you faggots. LMAO! Electro-shock.
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Legende meeting at Penthousy 101.
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Even his own Uncle hates him.
Brother Shigeo Kitano
It is unknown that Matthew (Taekesi) has any brothers or sisters. But as the Internet is drying out of lulz and Taekesi's mental condition becomes critical, another sockpuppet appears to the scene to save Taekesi's internet reputation. Shigeo is Taekesi's older imaginary brother, who was sentenced to 5 years of prison for Robbing, Internet vandalism and killing jews, managed to escape like a true Legend Uncle got him out, because he is a greasy fat multi-billionaire who can corrupt any system. Why couldn't he just pay the judge off not to sentence Shigeo in the first place? Anyways, Shigeo spent his first day of freedom to deal with his little brother's e-enemies, and makes videos with the same song which his little brother listens to; "Somebody's Watching Me" remixed by Mysto & Pizzi. Obviously not a Taekesi sockpuppet, amirite?
It is said that during his prison years Taekesi visited Shigeo just to bawwwww about how he got humiliated on the Internet. Shigeo of course got mad, because he is fucked in the head due to cum blocking his braincells from rape, and nothing pisses him off more than Internet trolls trolling his little brother. Taekesi looks up to Shigeo as an idol, a perfect example of what he has to become, his Legend destiny is to kill a jew. However he is afraid to kill his first jew, because he doesn't want to end up like his brother; a little bitch who has to pick up the soap and accept invitations from bigger snakes than him.
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Shigeo does not regret his crimes.
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Spending his first day of freedom to troll Taekesi's e-enemies. He truly has no life.
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He has same anger problems like Taekesi.
RIP Uncle Takeshi Kitano
Picture evidence on the right shows that Takeshi Kitano, the great Legend Yakuza boss, owner of over 9000 Penthouses, and an amazing actor of many Asian cop movies, has passed away due to his embarrassing, dishonorable, retarded nephew, Taekesi driving him mad to the point to kill himself.
All active Uncle accounts on YouTube are operated by Taekesi himself. Truly shows how awesome Taekesi is. Utterly Legende, indeed.
No, this Uncle is a persona he's been using that show how much of a Legende he is. The original Takeshi has no fucking clue who Taekesi is. Taekesi runs around claiming he is a nephew of Takeshi, logs in as him on Youtube praising himself and saying things like "my friends on google are working on removing the cancer" and shit like that. taekesi got pissed off when I showed him this image that his beloved Uncle actually an hero'd himself because of him, proving that Takeshi is just another sockpuppet of his.
Grandpa Yeungli Kitano
Taekesi's grandfather who considers Shigeo as SECOND favorite grandson, because he is ashamed that a Legend like him had been imprisoned and raped by inmates. Such tragedy brought bad news to the Kitano Family's reputation. Whenever grandpa visits Taekesi he spoils him with treats, such as lolipops, bubblegums, candybars and a jewish dick which he cut off, because their Isreali business partner ripped him off, and then as revenge Yeungli kidnapped this jew before he could have had the chance to escape back to Isreal by plane. Taekesi was so happy for his new Jewish dick that he keeps it in a miniature coffin box.
Matt gets owned in videogames
If you want to be truly jealous at the great Legende, then you should know that Matt is a fucking pro at videogames. Seriously, the kid has so much time in his hands, when he's not crusading as a Yakuza legend on the Internet, he goes playing Call of Duty online for hours to reach Level 70 in Modern Warfare, while getting his ass owned by snipers who without aiming shot the guts out of him at first attempt. For the Lulz purposes: Get COD and send an invite to his yehimmatt account on PlayStation Network, and shot the shit out of him.
—Matt's happy reaction! |
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—Not so happy now! |
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Fanart/Hate art Gallery
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A Greasy Faggot.
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Legende of
the GuardiansSockpuppets, The Movie. -
So, fucking, out, of, breath
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For some odd reason, the artist had seen Taekesi's face and drew him fucking a horse. Garrick is not alone anymore.
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If your sock is black, then it's a nigger account.
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SockPuppet Warriors: AbsenceOfTheAbsent VS. Taekesi
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Taekesi always exposes the exposed and takes credits for it.
See Also
- AbsenceOfTheAbsent
AznWeaboo- Trying Too Hard
- Troll Shielding
- Basement dweller
- lolcow
- Fail
- Rootbrian
- sock puppet
- Cocks
- Forever alone
- Tablecow
- Kumichoo
- GodOfUnicorns
External Links
Taekesi- On May 26th 2013 DarkMist600 called Hubba'sGrandma in the Google Headquaters in Dublin, Ireland and payed a $500,000. fee for Taekesi's termination, thus ending the faggotry of the Britfag once and for all.SecretAgentTaekesiB&- ThyLegende abandoned
LethalTaekesi- B&- NotNaekei dead
takeshikitano- B&UndercoverTaekesi- B&FinalBossTaekesi- THE FINAL BOSS WAS DEFEATEDEpicWinnerTaekesi- B&- LegendeProductions
TheLegendTaekesi- B&- TheLegendSquad gone
- TaekesiTheKingOfAsia - His autoplay video got b&
- MechaTaekesi deader than disco
- MyselfIsLegend - Newest one showing how much he sucks
- TaekesiEndOf Just another shitty new account.
- SKUEEoCOM Properly a new one or a gay fanboy account.
- YohiroshiYoshimi One of his socks, came to end and was hacked by DarkMist600.
TheHateSyndicate- B& After a few hours in the Google Headquarters in Dublin, Hubba's Grandma pulled the plug on, B&.
мsη→ [email protected] <<< Add him and watch him bawww about ED every day.
тωɪттєг→ http://twitter.com/Taekesi Suspended in one day.
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Taekesi is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |