Kaoru Yuuka

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Behold. She’s single, you guys..
 
“ 		 
Hello! I’m Kaoru Yuuka!~ Many years ago, I was a pop star, rising to the height of stardom! However, I was knocked off the stage when my ex-boyfriend made up tons of scandals, and sold me out. I had no choice but to leave my home, and come to America.

Since then, I've done my medical training, and now I’m a nurse, taking care of the sick and injured! In my off time, I do baking, playing air guitar, and singing into hair brushes.

Come talk to me sometime! Whether you’re alive, or living-impaired! *Grins* But if you’re a pervert, I’ll have to tranquilize you with my special tranquilizer gun!
 

„
 

—Kaoru Yuuka, on herself

”’KONICHIWA MINNASAN SUGOI DESU NE~*~♥”’ :3 This character is, by far, one of the biggest Sues you will find on the web, and she will get into some guy or girl’s pants by any means necessary. Kaoru is a self insert for countless fandoms, in which her main goal is to ship herself into any canon or manipulate one of her many minions in order to play out a canon in a way that she can sleep with them before dropping them like a fly. A typical anime character hailing from deviantART, she has big TITS and enough clones to show them off, she has yet to be told to GTFO.

Typical Profile summary

Only sugoi boobs defy logic and gravity
   
“ 		 
Nee? <3
  		„
  		 

—Kaoru’s mating call.

The sue formally known as Kaoru Yuuka usually ranges from ages 21-26. She is from the great land of Nihon and has traveled to America due to either a tragic past about her singing career or to become an international pop star. She speaks broken Japanese and has a strict diet of Japanese snacks and desserts, though eating American food has only made her tits bigger, leaving the rest of her looking like she has back problems. She has a fetish for pink and anything that is ”Ultra Kawaii” and Japanese. As the clones kept coming out, the more her hair became pink because of her almighty pink fetish. She also has a living cowlick that is most likely a tumor on her head, it can move on it’s own and might even have emotions.

Cowlick Emotion List

——

The many emotions Kaoru’s cowlick reflects—this addresses both Kaostar and 99.

  • Curled backwards- Worried, highly nervous
  • Stationary- Relaxed; default.
  • Twitch- When picking up on something; the twitches become more rapid if something intense is going on.
  • Flat- Angry. Think of a cat’s ears.
  • Straight up and frazzled- Scared SHITLESS. Think of a cat’s tail.

The cowlick can also form shapes, such as a question mark, a heart, and if she REALLY does not like you, prepare to get poked in the eye with it!

-”Submission summary from Marysuefacepalm”

Kaoru is always happy, always bouncing around so her tits will jiggle, uses copious amounts of hearts in text, and constantly glomps in her posts (even more so if it’s around someone she likes). She also has a singing voice that could make people cum right away, she’s just that good and that Japanese.

The continuous traits always include a terrible past, death of parents, abusive boyfriend, and how she is looking for a permanent love, even if it’s from her adopted Guardian figure or son. She makes her character absolutely perfect beyond that and boobs that will make a hundred men and some times women fall to their knees and jizz pink hearts. Throughout fandoms, she has been a nurse, a lawyer, a singer, a magical girl, a butterfly queen, and a matchmaker. Even sometimes combining some of these like she’s Barbie. There is also the fact that her art generally contains panty shots and asses to continue to prove how Kaoru is more sugoi than you in every way.

   
“ 		 
IF YOU DON’T LIKE HER, YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK. My character is NOT a Mary Sue!! Get over your pathetic selves already and stop being so jealous! <3 KONBANWA~
  		„
  		 

— Kaoru/Kamora, on herself.


Army of Skanks

They spread like a virus.

Kaoru only believes in the high power of love and friendship. She doesn't condemn cheating from a partner, but if she does it, it is perfectly fine. She will try to hump anyone or anything that talks to her or shows any interest in, AT MOST, friendship. When you are in her love range, you will find yourself being showered with fan art, compliments, messages, hearts, and hugs. From there, it’ll progress to sex and then you are trapped. Her love is as big as her breasts, it’s unstoppable and will just keep growing. If she’s bored with a relationship or wants to get in another, she’ll force conflict or just create another clone. In rare cases, the Kaoru AUs will meet and their mating calls will clash, causing one huge orgy. There was even an incident where she shipped herself with her both the Wardenand their son.

Most of her ships with canons are completely out of character. The canons are turned into mushy sues themselves whose only goals are to appease the queen of sugoi desu in the most sappy anime way possible.

If Kaoru wasn't anime.

To show ownership, Kaoru will have her current romances carry her in their arms or on their shoulders.

There is also a male version of Kaoru, who looks like a gay cage dancer ready to stick his cock in anything. His dick is ”ever big and growing”, just like Kaoru’s tits.

There are some instances when Kaoru is ready to move on from one love to another but doesn't want to make another clone yet. She will always make the other people the enemy or Kaoru the victim no matter what. She will never inform the other role-player of her plans and will only go into real-life details about how she was used or how they drifted apart. She will also point out those who have abandon her in someway, even if it was her who ignored them. While in some parts of the role-play, she will manipulate the current Kaoru lover into doing an RP that turns them into the bad guy and her into the victim, enabling her to break it off. She will also then claim how unpure she is and how used she was thanks to their relationship, since Kaoru is suppose to be an innocent Virginal saint. The other character will take all the heat, get scolded, harassed, or even kicked out of a group while Kaoru quickly falls for another character like nothing ever happened. Even though Kaoru is always the one sleeping around and snuggling up to strangers, she will never be thought of as the one who would mess up in the relationship.

This entire section can apply to "Kamora" and "Hikaru".

The Many Fandoms Kaoru Has Been In

Homestuck, Batman, Pokemon, Final Fantasy, Hanna Is Not a Boy’s Name, Gravitation, Fruits Basket, Rurouni Kenshion, Samurai Jack, Cowboy Bebop, Peacemaker Kurogane, Earthworm Jim, Fullmetal Alchemist Ghost Trick, Venture Brothers, The Adventures of TinTin, Professor Layton, Lupin the Third, Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright, Saiyuki, Gundam, Ouran Host Club, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Chrono Crusade, Superjail!, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, MonsterKind, Dr. Who, Team Fortress 2, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Sonic The Hedgehog, TMNT,Shinmai Fukei Kiruko-san, Animal crossing, One Piece, 07-Ghost, Inuyasha, Full Metal Alchemist,Dragon Slayer, Kingdom Hearts,Free, Dangan Ronpa, Ao No Exorcist, Bakemonogatari, K-on, Kill la Kill, Attack on Titan, Gurren Lagann ,Total Drama Island, Space Dandy, Black Lagoon, Invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac , Steven Universe, Undertale, One Punch Man … the list never seems to end. The bitch seems to show up everywhere, at every time, in every fandom for fresh bait. She even made an Ed, Edd, and Eddy along with a Fairly Odd Parents Sue at one point. Kristen would pair her character with the majority of canons in each series. Even if she hates the series or fandom, Kristen will still force her sue on any canon.

Along with that, she has also been on hundreds of social networking sites with hundreds of clones, collecting up all the canon and labus she can get. From Gaia to Tumblr. Kaoru will change her character only a little bit to suit whatever the fandom is. Whether it’s a slight change how her name is spelled or making her tits and ass bigger to find the mate of the week.

She also ships herself with real life musicians and celebrities. There was even a case where the Mun flirted and shipped herself with a Twitter bot then got pissy when it didn't return all her feels.

Kamora Yuudora/Eudora

This is the Homestuck version of Kaoru. She is the supposed more classier slut version. Kamora has pink hair and makes out with everyone and everything, but doesn't blubber Japanese phrases like her other counterparts do. She started out as a Japanese mutant fantroll with incorrect blood and 3 horns (her cowlick being the 3rd horn. Go figure) who shipped herself with the whole MSPA cast and a handful of fantrolls before getting so butthurt that she made her Sue into a Carapace who of course exiled herself over ”~LOVE~” and now ships herself with entire Intermission crew She once again got so butthurt by haters that she made her sue worse by turning her into a human who was disfigured by acid, meaning she’s absolutely gorgeous and perfect beyond white splotches and blonde pixie cut hair under a pink wig. OH THE HORROR, ”nee?”

— Kamora Eudora is now officially the new Kaoru Yuuka. The Mun is using a multiverse version that’s separate from her Homestuck one because she got so butthurt that people found out she was a fraud and so that she can meet new partners. It too comes with a poorly written back story, the only decent thing about her back story is that she was raised by a pop star or producer, even if the Mun claims Kamora has the singing voice of an angel. That was until the majority of that she put herself into are animes and full of Japs, making Kamora a big ass Weeaboo sue.

The summary of the story is about a depressed school girl whose rich and extremely abusive parents never loved her and left her at age tender age of 15 because she was a retarded slut. To make it more tragic, Kamora was extremely bullied, had her heart broken then was told that she could never have kids so she could fuck as much as she wants. Same recycled bullshit.

She later meets “the one” and after days of making out, he decided that he would rather hit it and quit it which means that Kamora was single and ready to mingle. After he gave her a gift that turns her into a magical girl, Kamora was back to being a pure virgin and living off her rich abandoned parent's money as she uses a matchmaking scheme to hook up with every client or bum off the street. Now she is on a never ending intergalactic journey around the "universe" in her space car to search for new romance.

Seem familiar?
Seem familiar?

Besides her being a nothing more than a recoloring of Kaoru, Kamora has already been in countless relationships and slept with everyone she's met. It doesn't matter if they are alive, dead, trolls, robots, duplicates, underage, aliens, or even animals. Even after announcing that she is a single ship blog, she still tries to find ways to push herself at the unwilling. There really should be a limit with this cow. Like Kaoru, Kamora comes with tits that grow 2 cup sizes along with a parade of ugly hairstyle changes biweekly to make her seem ultra uguu kawaii.

Kammy finally declared herself to be singleship with Space Dandy while she's secretly having orgies with his crew and doing fluffy posts with all of her crushes from other universes behind his back. It's no lie that she secretly wants to be multiship again so she can slut it up with everyone she bumps into.


Hikaru

A Saiyuki character who is completely original in everywhere that goes by the name Hikaru, she is a version of Kaoru with longer hair and flame powers who also shares the same bland personality as her other clones. If it's not Kamora sleeping with the Saiyuki cast, it's Hikaru. It's safe to say that this incarnation of Kaoru Yuuka did not last long.

The Goddess of Fire, and occasional secretary to any god who needs assistance sexually, Hikaru is one of the many sue goddesses of Heaven. She has a rather whorish nature, fond of light teasing and the occasional sleeping around.

While viewing work as important, Hikaru also believes that one should not work their entire life away. She is fond of children, for their innocence and ability to see the world in a carefree light turns her on. Hikaru is also fond of the shipping herself with every Saiyuki canon, and often wakes up rather early to stalk them that is until she gets bored of them."

Notice how the Suethors crap excuse of OCs are named after the same anime characters of an anime that her OCs crusty filled vagina has been in? Hikaru and Kaoru? Sounds familiar?


 
“ 		 
"YES YES HIKA NEEDS MORE LOVE! COME LOVE THE FLAME GODDESS!"-The Mun
  		„
 


Don’t ever offend the Suethor

Typical Suethor reaction
 
“ 		 
if you are going to insult me, don’t be surprised when I suddenly can’t stand you the next day. -The Mun on herself.
  		„
 

One cannot talk bad about Kaoru/Kamora ever, that is blasphemy. Her Mun, Kristen L. Therrien, is so obsessed with her sue that even the smallest of critiques will make her shit her pants. Remember that this sue is the most sugoi character known in existence. Her kira kira will shine above all and if you don’t like it, she will welcome you to suck her dick. The Suethor makes that very clear how great her character is and doesn't care if you don’t like one thing about her, even if it doesn't make sense to the fandom she has joined. The majority of the time, she will not know any information regarding the fandom she joined and will blow up if you try to correct her. What's more, the Mun has her head so far shoved up her ass that she thinks that she and her OCs are well known and famous to the point that she tried to products with her OCs and her ships planted all over them. If she encounters any known artist or fandom, the Mun will barge her way in to make as any friendships and romances as possible for her own benefit.

This lolcow will throw a hissy fit, block everything or shut everything down, then turn herself into the victim so her fan club will come to her rescue and bitch out anyone who has offended her great OCs. She will then delete any criticism on her blog to show only a shower of compliments she received from her over reaction so she’ll seem flawless. If you compliment her, she’ll get all modest but at the same time, publicly BEG for more attention for someone to like her or to tell her how great of a person, artist, and roleplayer she is and how great her muse is.

Don't dare remind the Suethor that Kamora Eudora is indeed Kaoru Yuuka. You will end up getting a thousand reasons thrown at you of how you are wrong and how different her characters are. Despite all the evidence and screenshots beings here, the Suethor still denies that Kaoru and Kamora are the same cliche character. When asked how she created Kamora, she'll act like Kaoru never existed and she is just that original.

Her causing so many fits has also gained her a reputation of being a whiny attention whore, which is why a lot of fandoms have turned their backs on her and why she is on so many Mary-Sue blogs and forums. She is a 16-year-old girl stuck in a 30 year old virgin's body who would most likely ship herself with Chris-chan. She actually lives in a trailer park in Carver, Massachusetts with her parents. The only job that she has ever had and still has is working as a cashier at Lowe's, which she bitches about on a daily basis. She supports herself and her parents, who actually hate her and tell her to drop dead. She has two older sisters who are grown and moved out who both also hate her. She will more than likely be working in retail until the day she dies, supporting her parents in their shithole pill-sized home. She also doesn't have a driver's license and doesn't even know how to drive. She has claimed that she doesn't ever wish to learn, either. The reason why she makes her OC big titted is because she herself actually doesn't have huge tits in reality. They're small, but are you really surprised? This is what self inserts do. She has never had a relationship with another real person and she never will. Everything that she has done has been online based, but who really considers those real relationships any way?

This is also the third ED page that she's ever had. This one being one of the most extensive ones ever erected online.


 
“ 		 
I remember Kaoru. I have an OC who is rather blunt. Kaoru is a pretty girl, obviously. Bare with me. She posted a sketch of a sad Kao, wishing she was as pretty as ‘other girls’. My OC told her to stop fishing for compliments. Stop attention seeking. Kaoru said she was being ‘modest’. Really? :I Then her crazy fanclub attacked me OOC. And Kaoru blocked me. For an IN CHARACTER comment. From an OC who she KNEW was not that nice.
  		„
 

— a Tumblr anon who offended The Magnificent Kaoru. ”’HOW DARE YOU.”’

A VERY Hypocritical Mun

She's here and ready to steal your heart.

The Mun used to have a sort of list of people she would avoid. People that would “annoy” her. She would not role-play with them at all, going as far as to delete the messages from them and ignore them completely. Recent events have proven that she has thrown away that so called list and has taken it in her own accord to seek and whore herself out with every fandom imaginable, as stated further above. She has told some her friends about how annoying these certain people were, and when those friends grew tired of her Mary Sue shit and she was left alone, she began to role-play with the people she said were weird and wanted to avoid. Desperate much? The Mun will even gossip and bitch about her followers and friends on her other blogs, saying that they either pay too much attention to her or too little. She even resorts to shitty name calling if they talk to anyone but her, are tired of them, or critique her art. In fact, a great amount of Kristen's art consists of tracings, doll bases, and recolorings from what ever fandom she's heavily invested in at the time. The only things that are Kristen's supposed style is that her sues share the same fucking face and that she constantly uses the same default crack head expression.

The Mun has been known to trash talk her so called friends from deviantart and tumblr on twitter since now that her is new go to vent spot. She'll whine how she doesn't want them around her, how she was never happy with them, or how much they annoy her by their very presence. The moment they pop up on tumblr she then acts all friendly and shit. At the same time she bawws on about how lonely she is and how not even a twitter bot will comfort her. But seeing how she talks about people who consider her their friend behind their backs, it's no wonder.

Since then, Krissie has locked her twitter account since her cover was blown on lolcow and she didn't want any of her Tumblrina followers to find out how much she actually despises them while uses them for her own gain. It's currently unlocked for all of the lawlz & bawwwz.

Do not befriend her. If you do, you’ll automatically receive a bad reputation and she will grind you into the dust with her constant need for affection. If you ignore her, she’ll begin to get really depressed and throw guilt trips at you until you feel bad enough to apologize. Once you make up to her, she’ll remind you how great of a friend she is by drawing you whatever it is you want. The next day, the process will repeat and sometimes she will even send herself anonymous attacks to make you feel even worse for her. When role-playing with her, she will constantly ask for sex role-plays, kissing role-plays or just cutesy shipping shit, even if it is not IC for your character. And if you deny her, she’ll guilt trip you until you change your mind.

If you decide to date her, she will control every aspect of your life. Even if you're busy with legitimate shit like school or work, she will guilt you into tossing your responsibilities by the wayside in order to have you all to herself. She will stalk your friend list and watchers and add whoever she perceives to be a threat to the relationship. From there, she will either cheat on you with this person (or people, who fucking knows with this whore) or she will find a way to destroy whatever friendship you have with the person. She still stalks her exes on Tumblr and is more than likely just watching them so she can decide when the timing is perfect for her to try to decide whether or not she wants to try and manipulate them back into a purely sex role-play based relationship. She will also, if you choose to date her, make you take her side on everything. Even when she's wrong. If someone dares to call her a Sue, she will come crying to you with big ass panda sized tears and demand that you white knight for her solely on the grounds that you two are an item. If you don't, she will guilt trip you and go flirt with someone else. Be warned that once you are dumped or are brave enough to break it off with her, the Suethor will naturally go to her next online crush for attention and loving. In fact, there's no doubt that she has overlapped and cheated on you despite all the lovey dovey shit she spews out. This bitch will always treat those online like the disposable adult diapers she secretly uses. In the end, your relationship with her will likely end faster than an Ethiopian running after a chicken!

If you lasted longer than a year with her, chances are she's been keeping you around as back-up or will eventually throw you under the bus with drama by guilt of any sort. She may seem sweet and nice in person, but this Mun is quick to stab people in the back.



 
“ 		 
HATERS LEAVE YOUR HATE AT THE DOOR! THE COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT IS CLOSED! DON'T LIKE IT? TURN BACK AND FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE!
  		„
 

They must be related.

The evolution of shipping Gallery

Am I Kawaii Desu, nee~?<3! About missing Pics
  • ”Nii’s a dirty dirty man. Lookit his face. He doesn't love -just- her ears. >D”
    ”Nii’s a dirty dirty man. Lookit his face. He doesn't love -just- her ears. >D”
  • Can’t forget about destroying canon for the sake of shipping
    Can’t forget about destroying canon for the sake of shipping
  • “based on a Zel and Amelia eyecatch from Try~ Zel’s secretly a rockstar. ooh <3”
    “based on a Zel and Amelia eyecatch from Try~ Zel’s secretly a rockstar. ooh <3”
  • Lupin too?
    Lupin too?
  • nope.avi
    nope.avi
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Interactions and Reactions

Watch the sue go and the reaction she gets About missing Pics
  • Kaoru's spotlight on Know.
    Kaoru's spotlight on Know.
  • Usual reaction demonstrated by using memes.
    Usual reaction demonstrated by using memes.
  • Japanese stereotypes. Kaoru in a nutshell.
    Japanese stereotypes. Kaoru in a nutshell.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

What to do if you spot a wild Kaoru/Kamora

  1. Put in ear buds to protect yourself from the Siren’s early 90's techno J-pop song.
  1. Run and protect your ass.
  1. Never look back. Single or not, she’ll try to fuck you, ”Nee~?”

See also

External Links

Featured: Mary Sues Blogs Everywhere

Kaoru Yuuka is part of a series on

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