Safe Environment

Not to be confused with Safe Spaces

Seeking to clean up its tarnished public image in the face of a massive priest child sex abuse crisis, the Catholic Church has attempted to foist the belief that magical "guardian angels" are now in position to keep their priests from fucking your kids. The only problem is that guardian angels don't exist and therefore your kids are just as unsafe as ever... sorry! Perhaps this is a good thing since, as seen from the comic book, it would be very annoying to have a mouthy flying bitch following us around spouting tips on how to avoid being priest-fucked.

Download the coloring book here (PDF version) for easier reading.

Feel the Quality

Priestly Platitudes About missing Pics

Lol the angel has manhands
Also the bible says angels have six wings
HE'S A PERSON!!!!!
This message brought to you by Jesus
Apparently we have free will because God says so

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This page proves having guardian angels around would pretty much be useless anyway
She's here to protect you, like how she protected the guy on the floor on the previous page
For maximum safety, try to be in four places at the same time
Protip : Pedophiles are an excellent source of free candy
Protip : Pedophilies are also an excellent source of fabulous prizes
The angel looks stoned here, I wonder what heaven's substance abuse policy is
lulz
Beware of online pedophiles. They rarely have candy or prizes
That guy in the doorway is definitely checking that kid out since he practically has his head twisted all the way around. Good thing there are trusty anti-rape angels present
Put the robe back on please. Thank you.
I bet the kid is saying "Dad this dead lady won't shut up and leave me alone."
Remember, don't trust anyone who doesn't have great teeth
lol "awesome angel" hahaha
I hope those angels are toilet trained
I guess she isn't awesome anymore
Jesus flipping the bird lol
Bye

Resources

The Archdiocese of New York Website

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Safe Environment

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