Ryan Lambourn

Ryan Lambourn (AKA "PiGPEN") is the creator of the smash-hit games The Slaying of Sandy Hook Elementary School and V-tech Rampage which were created to educate and teach the dangers of no gun control to everybody and, at the same time, caused a massive media freakout.

Ryan has time to make games because he isn't busy getting laid, pay special attention to the cute prepubescent hitler-mustache.

V-tech Rampage

Vtech Gameplay

End screen

His first successful game was this 2007 breakout hit where you play as Cho Seung-Hui as he brought great justice to Virginia Tech.

Gameplay: You move with the arrows, shoot people and talk to them if you are a boring twat. A retarded monkey could do it so it might be a little too much for you.

<shootsraphics: This shit looks like it was made with an RPG Maker version made specifically for the blind. The buildings are boxes, the people are square and Cho himself is the only one there was any point in putting any detail into so he is about three times bigger than everyone else and his head looks like an inflated tumor.

Fun and Replay Value: Shooting down a little pixilated avatar of a nigger with a comically stereotypical afro, as he runs around and screams in an ill-fitting voice, never gets old.

Level 1

Go out, shoot Emily, kill anyone who noticed you shooting her and go back inside. The option to rape and eat her body was not added, detracting from lulz for the sake of the never-ending pursuit towards historical accuracy.

Level 2

Go back in, record your tape and go back outside to mail it. Avoid the cops in a Pac-man like game who arrest you for no reason (just like in real life) and then go into the school to let the fun begin.

Level 3

On the final level you have 1:30 minutes to kill or injure everyone. Sadly, because the game is a glitchy piece of shit, even if you kill everyone you still don't get to see the ending cutscene. If you could, you would see our hero become an hero and fall to the floor with the word "Ismail" crved into his arm. Don't forget the tissues that you will need for this touching event.

Aftermath

Want the game gone? Pay me money

The game caused an unexpected backlash. Ryan was interviewed by several news shows and newgrounds was flooded with demands to take the game down, this being the first funny thing to come out of that site in years. Taking the chance to either make some money or just troll people harder, Ryan posted on his site that he will... Well... read it for yourself:

But, no one was willing to give him money so he said he was just doing it for the lulz. Eventually he caved under the pressure and took this notice down. Replacing it with the less funny, yet still pretty good notice that read:

	“	I will never make a pun again if the donation amount reaches $1000 US, i'll never make a sarcastic comment if it reaches $2000 US, and i will never push the ironic envelope again if it reaches $3000 US.	„

RIAA hating

RIAA turned out to have no sense of humor and sent a DMCA to Jewgrounds because the game had licensed music. To remedy this, the song was replaced with a new song called "Fuck RIAA".

Quotes

	“	FOR FUCKS SAKE IT WAS A JOKE	„
	—Lambourn, Cracking under the pressure

	“	I am a heartless bastard, who is perfectly content laughing at the hypocracy of everyone and taking my title as troll of the year	„
	—2007, Regarding why he made the V-tech game

	“	i don't see that as my need to wait for them to build up a tolerance to pain	„
	—On why he made the game the moment the shooting happened

	“	Do a barrel roll	„
	—What he has to say to people who didn't like it

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Part 2:The Slaying of Sandy Hook Elementary School

Ryan Lambourn
is part of a miniseries on
Lulzy Games
Save and Quit ●Press Start ▶

Angry Goy ✮ Angry Goy II ✮ Black Lives Splatter ✮ Bullet to the Head of the NRA ✮ The Clown Prince Rises ✮ Dead or Alive ✮ George Zimmerman's Big Game Hunter ✮ Harvester ✮ Hatred ✮ IS Defense ✮ JFK Reloaded ✮ Kill The Faggot ✮ Muhammad Sex Simulator 2015 ✮ Nigger in the Wonder-Land ✮ Space Station 13 ✮ Postal 2 ✮ Rape Day ✮ RapeLay ✮ School Shooter: North American Tour 2012 ✮ The Slaying of Sandy Hook & V-tech Rampage ✮ Super Columbine Massacre RPG

Sadly, the EDF2 project of making a game about Sandy Hook was ended prematurely when the demo, Bullet to the Head of the NRA, ended up on Fox news and there was no point to continue. Lucky, Ryan came to the rescue. After a few years hiatus, and back by popular demand, he returned with a new game in 2013 called The Slaying of Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Learning from past mistakes, he decided to disguise this one as a game about gun control... This, however, only caused more butthurt.

Gameplay: You move like a zombie, swing swords like a narcoleptic and shoot like an autistic... Which makes sense since you are playing as Adam Lanza.

Graphics: A bunch of colorful shadows and little else. Looks cool for something made with the minimum amount of effort and skill at Flash one could muster and the blood splatters are fun to watch.

Fun and Replay Value: As fun as it is to kill small children (again, sadly no rape option is available) the game is as tedious as its pretend political message. The game visibly suffer from a lack of a killing-spree mode.