Suirenoki

"OMFG, A GAMER GIRL! It's a girl that plays VIDEO GAMES! SHE HAS A VAGINA! And she draws comics too!? I JUST CAME!" If you have a room temperature IQ, that will no doubt be your response when you come across Suirenoki's (Real name: Teresa Murdock. DOB - August 22, 1986) deviatart page. You'll befriend her, offer insightful comments on her artwork such as "Yay!!1!!11!!!1!" and "I lurve it... Your so good! ^_^." You might even PAY for some of her "Artwork." What the fuck is wrong with you? The internets hasn't seen so much generic weeaboo shit since last Thursday. Somewhere in her beautiful mind, she has decided that (Anime + Feminism)^Video Games = Great Success. Of course, she did not get the fax informing her that having tits and a vag does not make a great webcomic. By leaving the Kitchen, she has created and spread an Epidemic that worsens every time this bitch opens up MS Paint.

Lessons in Distraction

Self insert? What would give you that idea?

Suirenoki's dream guy

Lessons in Distraction is Suiren Oki's wish fulfillment web comic where the main character is Shyuran Ain Isolde Godzillah, a overweight student with red hair who gets picked on by all the popular girls at school for having out of style hair. Constantly being mobbed by the popular cheese blocks at her school, who have an obsession with putting a raw egg onto her head.Jin Inoue, a Japanese exchange student with flowing white hair who ironically comments upon her being trashy, ends up rescuing her from teh horrible normal pplz. This high school drama might sound familiar to the readers, where students turn into mythical creatures. What might be reminiscent of other scarred, heroes, Suiren Oki is played out to be the shy, new girl in the school who did nothing to deserve the bullying she receives from the cheese blocks. The entire comic is riddled with plot holes, bad transitions, unoriginal characters, and most of all, her shitty art. This comic dwindles down to saying, "Hello my name is Suiren Oki and I am going to die alone." She has not updated since August 2008, which is due to a combination of being butthurt and lazy.

Worts Webcomic Ever About missing Pics

The cheese picks on Suirenoki
Jin comes to the rescue
Suirenoki and Jin show each other their special parts

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

what the fuck is a Senmurv?
Revenge of the Cheese
Jin <3 fat chicks

Gamer Chicks

This slut keeps stealing all of Suirenoki's men!

DUHH? WOMAN?? PLAYING GAMES?? TITS??

GAMER CHICKS is a terrible combination of bad art, bad jokes, and PMS. Since most internet forums focusing on video games are total sausage fests, Surienoki figured tons of attention would be lavished on her for simply being a girl, when in fact nobody could care any less about her 200-something lbs physique and attention whoring. This comic is so bad, Oki doesn't even seem to understand how dialog bubbles should go left to right, top to bottom-- and she's twenty fucking years old. Proceed with caution when reading this abomination. Like all webcomic artists, their drawn persona's are vastly more attractive than their IRL counterparts (although not by much in this case considering what a piece of shit Gamer Chicks is).

IRL

She's 21
Permanently caught in a state of Puberty
Dyed Hair, Glasses, Angle Shot, Fail.
Is fucking huge
Buys Gaia Credit cards from Target
Poetry? Really?

Online

Red Hair, tall, HUEG TITS ZOMG
Witty (When she pits herself against mentally inept faggots.)
Has friends
HOLY FUCK WHY WOULD YOU WEAR A CAT EAR HAT WITH WINGS ON IT JESUS
Is chased after and praised by all males within the vicinity

The comparison should show Suiren Oki's warped reality and how she will always have the mind set of a twelve year old girl.

Is she really a gamer?

The great thing about video games isn't playing them! It's telling guys that I did.

Speculation is that Suirenoki was once a gamer, but hasn't seen a new console since the Xbox, since it rivals her in its HUEGNESS.

Some technical misinformation can be seen in Gamer Chicks however, showing that Suirenoki does not know what it is to be both a chick and a gamer and only guesses what games are about after masturbating to pictures of Alucard (from Castlevania--or ASSHOLEVania, am i rite?).

Some note-worthy retardation in her comics:

There is no game called "Bice City."
You cannot play a PS2 game while the disk tray is still ejected.
Alucard (Or Arucard if you're a cunt) wasn't gay, fuck you.
Controllers that plug into a TV directly are not Hardcore. Get fucked.
The PS2 AV and Power Cord were never White. Never.
The reason you like your PS2 better than your PC is because you lack a MOUSE and a System to plug into the monitor. That, or you're using a Mac. Whatever.
Gamespoo does not sell hueg bricks of Cheese.
Gamespoo isn't even a fucking store! STFU NOOB!
Super Badass Dungeon isn't a game either, go choke on a knife.
Theres a cord connecting the Wiimote to the Nunchuck. Fucking durr.
Not every console has WHITE controllers.
RE4 contained no Zombies. Not one. NEVER.
The Wiimote doesn't have a round D-pad. Its 4 directions, not 8, and it's not yellow like Alucards j-dick.
No Zelda game EVER contained a Level that was composed of 1 pot, a black line, and a chest with a musical instrument inside.

So, is she a gamer? No, but who the fuck cares.

Her Style

HOW DO I FAILED AT BASIC ANATOMY!?

If one were to cram a pencil into their asshole and smear it on a piece of paper, that would be Suirenoki's style. To learn how to draw in Suirenoki's style, follow these outlines as drawn by the artist herself and you'll be fast on the road to understanding beauty.

Always Yaoi
Eyes go on hair/Xray hair
Unneccesary Photoshop effects & bombarding amounts of default brushes
2D, flat figures
Backgrounds are unnecessary because her figures are so good, attention must be kept on them
^-^ = An acceptable substitute for eyes (Don't forget to put on top of hair.)
Gravity is a lie
Shitty out of line coloring

Whores Love the Yaoi

Suirenoki, like every other girl on the internet, loves gay cock. Her "gallery" is filled to the brim with Soft core buttsecks, almost all of it involves Castlevania, a game about gay vampires sucking each others cocks... For blood.

Disagree with her stance on man-love? WATCH OUT! Suirenoki has been known to piss and moan for several posts while spewing deadly half-eaten dorito shards at her enemies. Eventually, a Mod will intervene and pretend to do their job by banning someone so the bitch will shut the fuck up. Afterwards, Suirenoki is known to vomit. What? Besides, her affection for yaoi is perfectly fine, after all, every man on earth is guilty of fapping to Tifa, which makes all anti-yaoi arguments invalid.

Her Poetry

She's finally going to shave her pubic hair.

Our beautiful Suirenoki is also an established fan-fiction/poem writer. YOU CAN TASTE THE RAGE COMING OFF THE ITALICS GOD DAMN! Below is a sample of some of her finest works:

haters gonna hate
Suiren believes that she can be scary; little does she realize fat, angry & pathetic losers are comedy goldmines
Like most weaboos, Suiren believes the whole world is out to get her and so these jewels of art show her inner angst...