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Digimon

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The invention of digimon
When racism as obvious as this is allowed on American children's programming stations, you know you have a problem.
Look, they're touching! IT MUST BE LOVE!!

Digimon was created by AZN pirates flooding the oriental toy market with an affordable Tamagotchi rip-off (which is illegal because it doesn't have enough Chinese lead in it). After going on a bender, they used their monies to fund Digimon themed mangas, animes, videogames, toys, cards, and other assorted crap that lost them all their money. Unfortunately, the Digimon anime series continues to flourish to this very day thanks to the "DigiFans" who compulsively add the prefix "digi" or the suffix "mon" to every noun and verb in their minuscule vocabulary.

Characters

Note: A major source of butthurt for digifags is to refer to a character by their English names. By doing that, fangirls can't come up with clever Japanese portmanteaus for character pairings in slashfics. For the sake of neutrality, we here at Encyclopedia Dramatica will use the English names instead.

The Games

There are 16 Digimon video games spanning every popular genre; from rpg to racing to fighting to adventure to H. All of them suck though. All of them. Except for digimon world 3, which is thematically similar to the movie. Being the only good digimon game, it is of course nearly impossible to find at a reasonable price. It is also a lot like dot HACK, which is odd, because it came out five years before that cyberpunk crapfest.

Most of the RPG games have you traveling around a landscape very unlike Pokemon with your Digimon life partner and playing cards with people. I think it was poker, and you'd get your thumbs broken if you didn't pay up after losing a game.

DIGIMANS ARE REAL!!111!

Definitive proof that Digimon are real
An illustrated guide to opening a portal to the Digital World through masturbation.
The Real Digimon Believers are loosening the fabric of reality.
Tai's reaction to the Digimon believers. All hope for the Digimon Believers is lost.
T.K.'s reaction.
Even Matt facepalms to this faggotry.
"I can't understand anything at all!" says Takato about the theories

Some people are such big fans of Digimon, and so very, very, lonely, that they pretend that they have their own imaginary Digimon companion, and are Digimon Tamers (moar like lusers, amirite)?. You might not think it is so unusual for someone to have an imaginary friend they can pretend will breathe fire on all the bullies at school, as everyone has done this in the past. However, the group, Real Digimon Believers BALEETED, takes it one step further. Instead of just buying a dog, they have deluded themselves into thinking that they have real Digimon pets, and, like a freaky cult, will try to convince all nonbelievers to share their delusions.

The Real Digimon Believers are seriously trying to find a connection to the Digital World where they will reunite with their long-lost Digimon companions. These plans, dubbed Project Digiclipse GONE, the only completely logical and scientific way to reach the Digital World, involve toy Digivices, their parents' computers, plastic bags, and waiting for a passing comet. This is the link to the new faggotmon are real website.[1]

What. The. Fuck.

Qu'est-ce que c'est "Project Digiclipse"?

According to the Project Digiclipse website, "Project digiclipse is the combination of hope, belief, and the theories of members of all digimon [sic] believers. The point is, we believe that digimon [imaginary digital monsters featured in the program] exist, and we are determined to find a way to bring them to us. The way we attempt to do this, is simple, yet hopefully effective. We gather all the belivers [sic] that we can find, and focus on our goal at the exact same moment all around the world, hold our digivices to the sky, and the laws of mind over matter [sic] tell us that we can achieve our goal; a digital portal opening somewhere nearby."

That's right. These people believe that the universe and inhabitants from the TV cartoon series Digimon are physically real, and that a "portal" can be opened to this universe if a group of "believers" all hold up their toy Digivices [licensed products based upon the show] at the same time and wish really hard. As the website explains, "They [the Digivices] may be toys, but many of them are a symbolic or even spiritual connection to our partners, and act as a bridge between our world and the digital world by sheer love and belief. That's what this entire project was based on, the power of the mind, and our connections, if not just our belief. It's been proved throughout history that if you believe in something, it can happen... As long as you believe, something is bound to happen!" Yes, and for the Digiclipsian, that "something" could well be the arrival of burly mental health nurses, called upon by their terrified parents to drag them off for a two-month vacation at Camp Haldol.

However, lest we write of the believers in the Digiclipse as the modern-day version of the Millerites, the author of the project webpage sounds a note of realism amid the hope for a digital Rapture: "We can't tell you whether or not it will work," the website admits, "as it has not been attempted by anyone before. This is sort of a hopeful experiment, but even if a portal doesn't open, it will bring us all closer and hopefully weaken the barrier between the worlds." Sounds like a long shot. Besides, as Scotty of TV's Star Trek once said, "Any decent brand of Scotch'll do that, Sir."

Le potential pour les «lulz»

The website has a forum for believers, with typical topics such as "what will you do if when do you wake up see your partner???" and "Matter...and... Data? ...Just how can I become Data?" The lulz potential is high [approximately 720 milliJameth/kb as measured by lulzometer (1 Jameth = 1,000 mJ = guaranteed corruption of lol)]. Any of the standard drama-generating techniques could be used to generate epic amounts of butthurt among the spastic retards that populate the message boards. Rule 34-based techniques should be especially effective, as most of the members seem to be at the (physical or mental) age where sex is the overt or covert motivator behind every obsession. It's a target-rich environment; try a shotgun approach and see what happens.

PROOF

The Real Digimon Believers can unequivocally prove that Digimon are indeed real through poor photo manipulation and MS Paint.

   
“ 		 
We do lots of research sometimes, and usually come across things. Also, we have a few learning programmers in the group who seem to know a lot about Digimon and data and things. Sometimes we hear noises and see things, but we usually only associate them with Digimon when it has our toy Digivices involved. It maybe sound immature, but there's no saying that data can't travel through the air to the device(right?), or that invisible creatures aren't controlling it.
  		„
  		 

—RulerHD - Leader of the Real Digimon Believers

   
“ 		 
Of course, it can be disputed, but the fact of the matter is, the existence of Digimon is plausable, and very much probable. Though it hasn't been proved, there are loyal fan bases out there that have evolved their belief into something more; a seperate community of "believers". Most will ban anyone who joins and lurks, or just to simply troll. There have been a lot of attempts made by the fakers to mislead the groups, though it is always obvious who is lying, and who is not. The leaders of such groups are skilled enough to tell a true believer from a troublemaker, so to save you time it isn't recommended for a "non-believer" to join.

These groups have proved that not only is Digimon an innocent childrens show, but it is the base of a thriving community, and has made many people friendsaround the world. Most aare children, and therefore do not have any kind of furry activity, or hentai imgages and it is definate that it will stay that way in the future.
 

„
  		 

—RulerHD sockpuppet, a self-proclaimed member of THe RDB Revenge Squad.

   
“ 		 
i'm doing research. there's a 10th crest. the crest of darkness. its dangerous, but it can be purified. i'm still doing reasearch on the 10 crests though.
  		„
  		 

— josh, scientist for Project Digiclipse

   
“ 		 
Hmm.... my mom would probibly send me to a therepist... again... if I tried to tell her about Elecmon...
  		„
  		 

— Tashaka, Senior Member Priestess

   
“ 		 
ok im from the MSN Group RDB: Real Digimon Belivers and im trying to gather all the sites that belive into one. i have teamspeak that can be used to help communitcate, which is why i contacted you. i want you to help me contact the main leader/creators of each site and get them into team speak or into a place where we can settle into making one super beliver site! please anwser this message an let me know.
  		„
  		 

— DCYBER01, trying to collect cult members

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Despite being so technologically savvy, these Digi-scientists fail to grasp that vandalism is pointless on ED, and have repeatedly tried to edit away this part of this page.

Reraided LOLWUT?

On July 1st 2008, they were rehit by a troll calling himself DigiPwn. Slandering the site with racial slurs and incestuous threads, the discovery was made that even if the threads are deleted, the titles stay up to be seen.

Posting that discovery here led to that problem being fixed less than four hours later. Thanks ED, or more accurately, thanks User:Animorphs18, you've done the digifags a great favor, even if it only delayed the inevitable.

Rereraided/Reloaded?

At about 3 AM, on the 10th of July, an old fashion troll who went under cover for at least 100 years, fucked up the beloved site for the lulz by clearing out the FTP and having it replaced by a well drawn comic. This brave troll did so with the help of her trusty cats, TweedleDee and TweedleDum.

The troll mentioned in her letter that the site would most likely be back up in a matter of hours - which it is now apparent it will be. Like any good lulz observer, archives have been made. Screen shots of the site before and after (including the site admin's butthurt message to the troll) can be seen here:

(Someone took the time to screen this shit? Wtf?)

Also, there are no women on the internet, unless the bitches have started trolling from the kitchen. This means you, Aurelie (Yarelie?). But who really cares? Everyone knows Aurelie (Yarelie!) did this for lulz and for glory on teh internets since she feels insecure about the sand in her vagoo. (This is the truth. I know because I personally have it imported weekly from the beaches of Bermuda and shovel it in by the truckload. And by vagina, of course I am referencing my gaping asshole. ~Allie Yarly Aurelly Yarelly) Lulz abound!

The digifags report that while they are indeed butthurt over Au-Relly Ya-Relly's actions, they acknowledge that she did a good job being a troll. They also know how to use Encyclopedia Dramatica effectively and understand that free speech for all = lulz, as well as the capacity to laugh at oneself. Lulz lolz lulzzipop.

Digimon Fantards Spend Millions on Merchandise

Equally as sad as believing that Digimon exist, there are some "believers" and Holy Grail of Collectors that will spend their entire life savings on a franchise. Many young adult fans claim that this hobby makes them happy by keeping their childhood alive, allows them to feel closer to the digimon, and that it keeps them from throwing themselves head first into the nearest parked car. Digimon fantards are most often between the ages of 15-26. Those over the age of 14 are most often diagnosed with chronic Digi-Delusions. Sadly, the only cure is logging out.

Levels of Digi-Delusion

  • Exposure: As a young child (9-12) the brain is susceptible to Japan's Advanced Brainwash Satellite. 90% of the earth at any given time is exposed to it's radiation. 42% of the world's children population is affected. Exposure to furries can initiate this same process.
  • Development: Nearing the ages of 13-14, the subjects begin listening to J-pop, spend their whole paychecks on ebay buying Digimon cards, and could possibly have sex with their family dog. Shockingly, the males face rejection, as they fail to understand why no sane girl in High School would fuck a nerd who faps to Renamon on lunch breaks. This is also the point when they begin to read manga and watch subbed anime, which eventually leads to them developing aspirations of becoming a professional mangaka or a Japanese translator.
  • Digimon Believer/Tamer: Their delusion becomes so intense that the boundaries of fiction and reality no longer exist. This commonly begins around the ages of 14-19. The brain becomes so saturated with thoughts of fail that it can no longer handle it, and the process of differentiation between realities critically shuts down. The Subject may possibly start carrying a toy digivice, praying to digimon gods, or painting the house cat to resemble Tailmon. Shouting "Digi Port Open!" at a computer screen in a desperate attempt to escape reality is also not an uncommon symptom.
  • Digimon Devotee/(Final Step): Usually people who progress to this stage are 20+ years old, Their mind is nothing more than a blank screen, with Digimon theme songs playing in a loop. They never leave their homes, out of fear that society will never accept them, and have resorted to playing the digimon card game against themselves; because their friends fear catching "Digi-Delusion". As time progresses the Devotee soon realizes he or she has wasted their life (and money) and begins thoughts of suicide. More Often than not, the Digitard eventually runs out of money. Stricken with desperation he/she then takes their pitiful life, in hopes that their soul will go to [Heaven|Digital World].

Shipping

Tai, after reading this section

Digimon, while a complete rip-off off Pokemon, has had its moments where it produces lulz. The most visible example is during the second season epilogue where many fans where dismayed that their ship did not win at the end. Scientist have proven that many fans where so upset that many became an hero after it was shown. Need proof? Why do you think the popularity diminished after that season? When interviewed, Hiroyuki Kakudou, the director for the first and second season, said, and I quote, "I did it for the lulz." When asked about the number of an hero's he said he "didn't care."

Taiora

The pairing between Tai and Sora. Perhaps the most lulzy of the ships due to how popular it was (and still is), many were butthurt when Sora chose Matt over Tai. After Matt and Sora ended up married at the end, the fans for this ship were in denial that they wrote letters demanding canon be changed.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, jocks, and 16-year-old girls.

Mimato

If Taiora is the lulziest of the lot, then Mimato is definitely its retarded cousin. This refers to the relationship between Matt and Mimi. While many of the other ships can be somewhat defended, this one was thought up after some 16-year-old girl thought they "looked so cute" even though they don't acknowledge each other's existence. The funny part is that many of them actually believe that there was actual evidence, making them the most retarded of the bunch. They are the best target to troll against, as they can be trolled by anyone who has seen the show even if the volume was turned off. Troll at your own free will! Many were also butthurt at the end, and insist that Sora was a slut who stole Matt from Mimi. They are that retarded.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, retards, and 16-year-old girls.

Takari

Don't ever show Takari fans this picture, especially here or here.

Pairing between T.K. and Kari. Long story short, the most butthurt of the lot after their ship was not canon at the end. Out of all the shippers out there, they are the most in denial, as well as producing the most an heros. Because their holy matrimony did not bloom at the end they say there was an interview that said their couple was canon, but when asked to produce said interview they change the subject. They also say they've seen the original and say shit like "Takeru says there that it has been 25 years and he married Hikari" regardless of what the truth is. It should also be noted that, since many have shipped this since the first season, all fans of this ship are fucking lolis and should be reported to the FBI.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, retards, christians, and 16-year-old girls.

Taito

Gay shit thought up by 16-year-old girls, with many claiming it was close to being canon. If somebody says they didn't see it, fans for this ship will start claiming homophobia. Ironically, many fans for this ship are girls and tend to hate all the other females because they might interfere with the butt sex.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, retards, liberals, and 16-year-old girls.

Kenyako

A romantic relationship between Ken and Yolei, and surprise, surprise, this one was actually canon.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, geeks, and 16-year-old girls.

Sorato

The pairing of Matt and Sora, canon to the show. Also known as... MATTRAEG due to the male viewers analog character, Tai, being cockblocked by Matt, an analog for every boy more popular and talented than the viewer. Basically...

Hey Faggots,

My name is Yamato "Matt" Ishida, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at a scaled-down version of the Digital World. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever had a Digimon that can kill a Dark Master in one-hit? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on Aerisdies.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was in an extremely popular rock band, and my Digimon can Digivolve to Mega. What can your Digimon do, other than "sit around all day in its own Digi-filth?" I'm also an astronaut who was the first person on Mars, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO proDigious). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Daikari

Spelled Dakari by fucking retards, this is the relationship between Davis and Kari. Usually attacked by Takari fans, they have been known to turn a perfectly happy-go-lucky character into a wrist slashing, angst-filled pussy who listens to Linkin Park. Many people who ship this due so because they've been rejected more times than an art student in the real world.

Common fans for this ship include: emos and your mom.

Daiken

More gay shit, but this time involving Davis and Ken. Usually written by shotacon fan girls, many of these stories involve rape. Because of this, one can and should assume that girls writing this pairing are asking for it. Shippers for this couple hate Yolei and Kari; no exceptions. Since they condone rape, it's okay to rape them, not that anyone actually would.

Common fans for this ship include: everyone mentioned above. Yes, even christians.

Daikeru

Even more gay shit, surprisingly. Since this relationship involves T.K. and Davis, most of these stories will be a retelling of WW2, what with the the white guy dominating some japanese guy. Expect whitey to come out on top (lol).

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, liberals, lesbians and 16-year-old girls.

Michi

Relationship between Tai and Mimi. For those who've been dumped and are smart enough to realize they are not going to get any, this is the coupling of choice. Since this is written by rejects, expect only songfics by Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, losers, and 16-year-old girls.

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Video

lolwut

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Rating

  • Action: 0; they are bloodless cartoony beasts
  • Lulz: 3; series 3 committed a form of suicide by killing off a furry icon.
  • Furry Gayness: 21,721; they are bloodless cartoony beasts.
  • Furry Straightness: ∞; Renamon (Along with Krystal) was responsible for creating this truly rare class of furry fandom.
  • Regular Gayness: 4; they managed to somehow keep some focus on the girls.

See also

Digimon is part of a series on

Anime

Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.

Digimon
is part of a Series on
Cyberpets

Pets:

Aywas • MyAdopts • Dragon Cave • Furry Paws • Khimeros • Neopets • PsyPets • Rikopets • Tamagotchi • Subeta • Wajas

Related Crap:
Digimon • Pokémon • Psypets• Sparkledogs • Spore

Digimon is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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