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Eric W. Schwartz

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The author of the webcomic Sabrina Online, Eric Schwartz, is the furry fandom's favorite bearded fatty, also known for producing Disney tentacle porn under the pseudonym TDK. This shitty excuse for a secret identity fools nobody, but Schwartz still claims he's innocent and throws a fit when anyone does the same to his characters. Being an internet oldfag he might have been the origin of the Web 1.0 term "skunk fucker", now substituted by "furfag". The saddest thing about him is that he actually has talent. Yet instead of developing that skill in order to produce real art or comics, he wastes it in favour of the safety of doing Tiny Toons porn and other shit.

Sabrina Online

When he started the comic it shamelessly promoted the Amiga in a way that would make every macfag cower in fetal position. It features a nerdy skunk girl without pants who collects Transformers and begins an Internet relationship with an equally big loser. This went on till Eric decided his comic should be about constant yiffing and thus he introduced Zig Zag, a tiger-striped skunk who runs a porn studio and screws anything that moves. After her attempt at seducing Sabrina failed she focused on making CP of Sabrina's baby sister Tabitha getting fucked by living Transformers dildos.

The average Sabrinafag is a basement dweller with a fursecution complex who knows the closest he'll get to having sex is to rape the skunks he captured in the woods.

Sabrina Online About missing Pics
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For those who actually seek teh funny, CrushYiffDestroy hosts the parody NOT Sabrina Online. You can even create your own comics.

TDK

As mentioned before TDK is the product of Eric's brain trying to cope with his deviant desires. These consist mostly of beloved cartoon characters getting raped by tentacle monsters:

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Eric thinks that his retarded fans would hate him if he admits being TDK, though the truth is that they don't care what he does as long as they get to fap to tentacle porn. Therefore, he still denies his split personality despite contradicting evidence:

Secret Sabrina Society

Eventually justice struck down on Eric in the form of the Secret Sabrina Society, a Rule 34 fanclub. Eric raged and eventually made this FAQ, even though he also draws porn of his pretend girlfriend which he only shares with his closest pals.

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Fandom

He's also pedo for Tabitha.

In every big fandom there are always a few lolcows. In the furry fandom however everyone is a lolcow. And due to the Sabrina Online fandom consisting entirely of Amiganerds and furfags lusting after Sabrina's bare butt they are basically shitting lulz:

Max Blackrabbit

Closest butt buddy of Eric, this black person is the creator of mega-slut Zig Zag who Eric has an unhealthy obsession with (404). In return his fursona also stalked Sabrina proving that their creators are indeed gay for each other.

Chris Foxx

Don't you dare touching my fictional girlfriend!!!1
File:SabrinaOnline Death.jpg
He's wispering something onto her ear.

Even though he has family, this guy wrote a 56-chapters story about him being in love with a cartoon character. The best lulz are had when his fursona has to leave Sabrina in the story because he didn't get permission from Eric and when he gets sprayed by Sabrina while yiffing.

Another good moment is in Tabitha when that little cunt Sabrina dies.

Hikaru Katayama

Mary Sue pile-up

Hikaru Katayama is the author of Identity Crisis. Opposed to the title this doesn't deal with Eric's own little identity crisis but is about an EWS-fan who gets beamed to the Sabrinaverse where he starts a relationship with ZZ actress Sheila Vixen, becomes a dragon, swaps bodies with Sheila, and later gets raped by a prince from Lord of the Rings. (He originally intended the story to be PG-13 but later got too yiffy.) However, he is the only one allowed to jerk off to the rape chapter and put up a disclaimer telling everyone else to become an hero. How to be a Furry sums it up pretty nicely:

   
 
It is not uncommon for such beings to have magic powers, and exist in alternate universes where everyone is a furry. Oddly enough, in these universes, trenchcoats, katanas, sunglasses, and mysterious mystical amulets passed down through the generations are in plentiful supply.
 

 
 

Various faggotry

How to tell who's to be exterminated.
   
 
I'm going to rape Sabrina's little sister, Tabitha, with a savagery you cannot even begin to imagine in your deepest fever-dream!
 

 
 

—Typical Sabrinafag

Other porn

In a desperate attempt to make money Eric created a porn site where you can pay to see supportive characters fucking each other. This one is created under a regular name so he doesn't publish porn of Zig Zag fucking Minerva Mink there though he still makes tentacle porn as seen on the right where two skunks are raped by a hentai blob.

Furries ruin everything

Eric, in all his Amigafaggotry, presents us this steaming pile of shit and ruins Portal for everyone:

Gallery

How to troll Eric

  • Point out he's TDK.
  • Read this FAQ and do the exact opposite.
  • Try selling him Windows.

See also

Links

Eric W. Schwartz is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

[Boring. Move on.Read me!]

Eric W. Schwartz is part of a series on Webcomics

Manga Ripoffs - MegatokyoSnafu comicsSuirenoki

Furry bullshit - BengoExterminatus NowHousepets!Kevin & KellLackadaisySonichuTails Gets TrolledThe Dragon DoctorsTwoKinds

Soap operas - Moon Over JuneSingle Asian FemaleQuestionable contentThe Nice Guy ComicRain

Gaming - CTRL ALT DeleteGod ModeMSPaint AdventuresPenny ArcadeSore ThumbsSweet Bro and Hella Jeff

Fandom - Ancient RealmsHow I Became YoursTG ComicsThe Legend of Razor

Weird shit - Anonymous AsexualApartment 18Assigned MaleAutobiography of an invisible monsterBilly The HereticChick tractsCocoa The ClownDeCadence ComicThe Dilbert HoleDNS ComicDr.Choker and PalsDrawn-chanElectric RetardExplosmHathor the Cow GoddessHipster HitlerHumonJerkcityJoe Mathlete explains MarmadukeLego Robot ComicsLOOK WHAT I BROUGHT HOMEManic Pixie Nightmare GirlsMarried to the SeaMorning GloryNeo-KosmosRocky DennisSarah's ScribblesSpace MoosePokey the Penguinxkcd

Providers - Ayyk92Anne OnymousBengoBlazesonicCarlos LatuffCheddar-CheesiaChris-chanComic GenesisD.C. SimpsonDave CheungDave HopkinsDave KellyDavid GontermanDragonfiendDisneyFan01Drshnaps ProductionsEric W. SchwartzHamletMachineHeather DowdeeHayakainHumonImmelmannJames M. HardimanJay NaylorJennifer Diane ReitzJohn CampbellJustflyakiteKay FedewaKurohimeLeoianNostrafortPsyguyRaulo CáceresRHJuniorRodney CastonSmackjeevesSnapesnoggerSteve MacIsaacStoneTossTargTim BuckleyTim ToddTom PrestonWhitedog1Wyatt MannZyklon Ben

Enemies - Constructive CriticismJohn SolomonTalent

[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]
Eric W. Schwartz is part of a series on Psychology
Mental illness & Disorders

AcrotomophiliaAddictionAgoraphobiaAlcoholismAlexis Pilkington SyndromeAlzheimer'sAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAnxietyADDADHDAsperger's SyndromeAutismBimboficationBipolarBorderline personality disorderBug ChasingBulimiaCognitive dissonanceDeep thinkerDepressionDick ImpalementDown's SyndromeDyslexiaEating disorderFactitious disorderFake SchizophreniaFauxlimiaFeminismGender dysphoriaGirl on the Internet SyndromeHeterophobiaHero ComplexHFAHistrionic Personality DisorderHutchence's SyndromeHyperbolimiaInadequacyInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberalismLow Self-esteem'Missing White Woman' SyndromeMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalObsessive Compulsive DisorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyPyromaniaRetardationSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSelf-diagnosisSelf InjurySexsomniaSickfuckerySociopathySocial anxiety disorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeTerminological percipience disorderTrolling Induced Transsexuality SyndromeTulpaUnrealistic expectationsVictim complex

Fetishes:

AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaAudiophiliaAutogynephiliaBalloon FetishBestialityCarmen Electra complexCross DressingDollfiliaEmetophiliaEmosexualityEproctophiliaFatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • FetishismFoot FetishFurniture PornFurrismGoo girlGuroHeterophiliaHomophiliaInflation FetishJapanophiliaJungle FeverLesbian pedophiliaLotion PlayMacrophiliaMaiesiophiliaMechanophiliaMpregNecrophiliaObjectophiliaOedipial ComplexParaphiliaPedophiliaPlushophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaQuicksand FetishRangerphiliaSpectrophiliaStatuephiliaTrichophiliaVoraphiliaWet and Messy FetishismWetlookXenophiliaYellow feverZoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll SyndromeDeletionismE-goE-PsychiatristE-PsychiatryETDHivemindI-DosingI have a 140 IQIRC DiseaseImaginary girlfriendInternet Disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet poverty delusionsInternet RehabInternet troll personality disorderMega ultra super geniusNerdy Fandom Gateway TheorySex by associationLulz-BlindnessWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fmBrainwashingHypnosisMilgram ExperimentScientologyStanford Prison ExperimentThe Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries OrganizationDeekerFoolQuest.comInkBunnyNeuticles.comPsyke.orgWarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric AssociationAngerASMRChild abuseConscienceDreamsDSMElan SchoolEnlightenmentIntelligenceLobotomyMary BellPsychiatristySerial KillersTake the meat bridgeThe Law of ConformityTrigger Warning