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Coughlan666
What happens when you get one unemployed, self righteous, unfunny, manic depressive fucktard, who is given internet access to a world of other unemployed, self righteous, unfunny, manic depressive fucktards, and continually heap on undeserved praise for championing a political movement based solely around mocking religious zealots (as long as they're not Muslims, Because that would be racist) on YouTube?
Coughlan666 happens. From his humble beginnings shouting obscenities at theist scum over the internet, Dave Grohl (on meth) look alike Richard "The Dick" Coughlan stumbled onto internet stardom after instigating various civil wars within his beloved YouTube Atheist community and, despite priding himself as an expert in the ways of pwnage, more often than not ends up publicly humiliated by the very people he intended to mock. The resulting hysteria and conspiracy theories he subsequently spouts are the stuff of legends.
Humble Beginnings
Like many who lack the required insight and charm to make their opinions worth anything to anyone else, Richard Coughlan sat at his computer and watched a handful of videos by TheAmazingAtheist. Enamored at how such a slovenly, disheveled creature was somehow commanding a fanbase, Coughlan decided that if he spice up his vlogs and added fast paced music with a plethora of curse words thrown in for good measure, he too could appear to be a well educated, articulate individual. And as well educated, articulate individuals tend to do, he set off to YouTube to antagonize softball targets such as Creationists and children, with hopes he himself could one day champion the Intelligent Atheist way.
And so it was that Richard joined the hordes of webcam warriors to crusade for the rational and intelligent Atheist agenda by finding retards on the internet and swearing at them in 10 minute intervals. In time, Coughlan himself had establish a true and loyal fanbase that followed his every word with bated breath. And it was so as Coughlan soldiered on, displaying his Atheist intelligence on such commentating superweights as VenomFangX and ChristianU2ber.
Instigating The YouTube Atheist Civil War of 2010
During the 2010 United Kingdom general election, it had come to Coughlans attention that fellow Atheist Superstar Pat Condell had urged his fellow Atheists to vote for the right wing United Kingdom Independence Party, who shared Condells staunch anti-Islam opinions. Coughlan, an admitted "left wing, black person loving, pale skinned, anorexic, bean eating, fucking trout", took great offense to someone who prided themselves on living a rational, Godless life having a differing opinion on him in regards to politics, and proceeded to handle the matter like intelligent and rational Atheists do; he got on his webcam and cursed at Condell for 17 fucking minutes while insisting that Atheism has been around for 5 years and that he'll end up a martyr for the struggle.
Previous Video | Next Video |
As it tends to do, Coughlans righteous indignation lighted a passionate fury amongst his community. Denouncing Condell as a wolf in sheeps clothing impostor, Coughlan encouraged his viewers that they too should show their educated dissent and also scream obscenities at Condell for not being in line with the good and proper Atheist way. Condell responded in typical fascist manner, by calmly explaining his decision. Coughlan, taking this new video as a personal challenge, responded with yet another video, claiming he had now been made amongst the thousands clogging the tubes with their inane bullshit and that now the gloves were off. Coughlan was on the attack, chastising Condells nigger hating propaganda.
To the Atheists, the rift was the opening shot of something inconceivably terrible, a unified, intelligent community was splintering. In reality, two faggots were fighting over faggot shit that nobody but faggots cared about.
But then boys and girls, something amazing happened.
The Dick Gets Offended
The heated drama between Condell and Coughlan garnered much attention from Atheists on Youtube, but as the conflict dragged on, the notorious "Dick" Coughlans facade began to break down. Rabid Pat Condell fans began to flock on Coughlans channel, plastering his comment box with hateful comments and, to top it off, a DMCA! The turn of events shocked and confused Coughlan, as he could for the life of him understand why the logical and intelligent YouTube Atheists, who had made stars of him and others who made a point of trolling and swearing at retards, would now be trolling and swearing at him.
Despite being a total badass, free-thinking rebel who opposed convention, Richard "The Dick" Coughlan began pleading for his beloved Atheist community to stop being so mean to him, calling them out for their hypocrisy. The overwhelming paradox of the situation didn't halt the onslaught, and Coughlan was berated by his once loyal fanbase.
The Dick Gets Dox'd
After crying in the previous video, Coughlan was trolled even harder, however he had now revealed that the stakes have been raised. He announced that he had gotten a death threat with his dox attached, claiming that he had no choice but to hand over the information to counter the barrage of DMCA'd videos. He concluded the video with his trademark well elaborated, highly convincing Atheist reasoning; screaming FUCK YOU! at his webcam.
The Condell Conspiracies
.
Coughlan, along with his cadre of faggots, immediately declared that Pat Condell was personally behind the dox drop and subsequent threats, with the working theory being that Condell, a very influential figurehead of the budding Atheist movement, couldn't be publically humiliated like he had been when The Dick called him out on his Atheist betraying right wing political leanings, and so Condell had personally sent his legion to DMCA Coughlan, obtain his information, and taunt him with the details before inevitably murdering him, thus ensuring the continuation of the British Right wings hijacking of the highly coveted Atheist community of YouTube vloggers.
Supporters uploaded videos in droves, pledging unwavering support for Coughlan in his time of crisis and promising swift, brutal retaliation for Condell and his gaggle of internet terrorists for their gurus pain; that Coughlan may have made himself the target of people without any actual affiliation with Pat Condell at all and that maybe his previous time on YouTube alternating between antagonizing batshit Christians and publicly crying like a fucking loon over trivial shit had attracted a horde of trolls who have no motive other than fun has yet to be acknowledged.
The Amazing Atheist and Fakesagan Push Richard To The Brink
But the Pat Condell incident was not Coughlans first experience with antagonizing people more popular than him and then immediately regretting it. In another notable spat with fellow YouTube nerds, in the Spring of 2009 Coughlan found himself embroiled in a dick measuring contest with Atheist Superstars and gay lovers Fakesagan and The Amazing Atheist. The back and forth went on with the usual Amazaing Atheist super hilarious fast paced, hyper spliced insults while Coughlan retorted with his trademark British wit; YouTube atheists far and wide either took sides in the epic conflict or begged for an immediate end to war as nerd battled nerd over the hearts and minds of armchair theologists and dropout philosophers the world over.
The war ended suddenly and hilariously 4 days later when The Dick, famous for his bone dry wit and vicious pwnage, came to the conclusion that he couldn't handle the merciless onslaught of unflattering vlogs directed at him and handled the situation in the most appropriate and dignified way he knew how; cutting a 10 minute Mick Foley promo and warning Atheist and Fakesagan that if the torture didn't end he would be driven insane and not responsible for what he would do.
Not long after Coughlan imploring for leniency, he ripped the video down and flagged mirrors, apparently coming to the delayed conclusion that tearfully begging someone you're trying to pwn was probably sending a conflicting message. Unfortunately for him, Fakesagan pounced on the video and mirrored it, mocking Coughlans severe emotional distress and pointing out the irony of Coughlans indignation before claiming victory.
In response, Coughlan flagged the mirror and Fakesagans channel, resulting in it being suspended. He now downplays the entire event, claiming he did it for the lulz and isn't actually a complete and total pussy.
Raped By Thunderf00t
In one of the more cohesive, elaborate videos about The Dick, Thunderf00t made a drawn out video which followed Coughlans longstanding history of batshit theatrics during his stay on YouTube, exposing not only Coughlans hypocritical whining but his faggot followers as well. It should be mentioned that a number of troll accounts have been made to spread the Hystronic Personality Disorder theory. This blatant act of faggotry must be seen in the proper light. In other words, keep calm and carry on.
—Thunderf00t diagnosing The Dick |
Needless to stay, the intellectual heavyweights that were the YouTube Atheists exploded into yet another delicious dramabomb.
Legitimate Mental Illness? In My Coughlan?
It's about as obvious as you think.
—Well I'll be damned. |
Coughlan can't let go
Just in time for the second annual Everybody Draw Mohammed Day event, spearheaded by thunderf00t himself, Coughlan began a spat of drama aimed at him in an effort to get attention and to finally pwn his ass. When Thunderf00t favorited one video critical of him, he made four videos against him in just 24 hours. So, as usual, his attempts at pwnage backfired and he embarrassed himself horribly by trying one of the most childish tactics yet, by making porn accounts with thunderf00ts name (seriously):
Coughlan of course tried to wiggle his way out of it:
Calling the FBI over death threats? How ironic. Looks like this is going to blow up in his face, as usual.
Trolled by Paul Kent
Despite fancying himself as an anti-Christian troll, Coughlan666 has shown that he is perfectly capable of being induced to tears by a supposed Christian troll (or anything) over nothing more than his videos being temporarily taken down because of a DMCA notice. Of course anyone that has a Youtube channel that hosts music would easily tell you that getting a DMCA notice isn't the end of the world, don't tell that to Coughlan666; who immediately proceeded to counter the DMCA notice with his actual contact information before wondering how and why he was being prank called. Regardless, Coughlan took the easy-mode trolling technique and declared that he was the victim of Honest-to-God censorship, and theorized that the best way to counter someone who was clearly only interested in provoking a reaction from him was to announce in no uncertain terms that he was incredibly upset about these developments and making veiled threats of violence while holding back tears before literally begging his viewers to mirror the video while explaining that because of his fame he was in a precarious position to being silenced by the cruel and ruthless trolls.
—Coughlan handling his business like a man. | ||
Coughlan the Comedian
Many staunch Coughlan supporters counter those that mock and attack The Dick by explaining his critics are simply missing the entire point of his schtick; Richard Coughlan is a comedian, they insist. Wildly irrational and highly disproportionate response to an otherwise well articulated point from a rival? "Deliberate satire of course!" Uncalled for, bottom of the barrel vulgarity? "Why, Coughlan is using this shocking language to educate!". Indeed, like many before him, Richard Coughlan confused biting social commentary via comedy with sprinkling half assed political opinions about whatever flavor of the now topic was circulating the tubes before continuing to scream and flail about like a chimp with downs.
Just like George Carlin!.
Unfortunately for The Dick, his patented brand of sandwiching "offensive" opinions of the social zeitgeist in between poorly thought out comedy bits about soft ball targets was more in line with the Carlos Mencia approach to comedy. Between both his relatively minor success in regards to his notoriety amongst his internet atheist colleagues and stylistic choice of his videos, Coughlans profound incompetence at anything other than provoking butthurt amongst other would-be YouTube savants has instead given him all the credibility of an emaciated, rat faced Dane Cook of the Atheist vloggers.
It's hypothesized that his general all around failure at producing anything entertaining deliberately and desire to siphon e-cred from others has fed his insatiable need to pick fights with otherwise like-minded individuals, yet because he understands just just barely enough about the internet to realize he'd be raped beyond recognition if he were to reveal his unstable whaling were sincere, believes if he retorts with "I did it for the lulz" ages after the fact that it will magically wash away the stench of ridicule, years of historical evidence to the contrary be damned.
Relationship and Downfall
The Dick was finally laid to rest (nvm bbl) today on November 5th 2010, having died of a broken heart. After spending over a year dating another youtuber living in America calling herself xxxThePeachxxx (which began when Coughlan666 posted a public video talking about how wonderful she is).
He was dumped last week in favour of a bisexual man IRL calling himself Devchelle2. The Dick's natural response was to demonstrate his desire not to punish xxxThePeachxxx by posting a video and turning the event into a spectacle on the Internets:
Since the video was posted, xxxThePeachxxx was flooded with trolls calling her a cheating whore. This inspired her to make a BlogTV statement that Devchelle2 offered her a place to stay out of the kindness of his heart after her father kicked her out and disowned her for dating Coughlan666 in the first place, and things just got complicated when xxxThePeachxxx ran to Devchelle2 for comfort and fell in love after barely a month of living with him. This all took place after xxxThePeachxxx in a fit of temporary insanity, decided to marry Coughlan666 and move to England to be with him before it dawned on her how ridiculous that plan was. Sounds implausible? Let the crazy bitch speak for herself:
Clearly, The Dick knows how to pick 'em.
xxxThePeachxxx vowed on BlogTV that it would take more to scare her off the internets than the all the abuse she was receiving on her youtube page. Less than 24 hours later, xxxThePeachxxx demonstrated her resolve against the wave of mean comments by closing her account. A few hours later, Coughlan666 did the world the same favour and removed himself from youtube out of guilt said he was taking a little break and would come right back to continue the same faggotry he is well known for.
The Dick Takes Responsibility. Kind Of.
Clarifying his previous internet-suicide note, Coughlan666 claimed he was just feeling so very guilty by "unintentionally" sending his rabid fanbase to swarm Peach and then proceeding to give vivid details of her her Daddy issues and private life. Richard then decided to detail his personal life over the internet by saying his viewers are wrong by taking such a vested interest in his personal life and how terrible the entire situation is because of his sabbatical, insisting there was nobody else 'doing this better than me!' before blasting his fantards for doing exactly what they did in the past and what he knew they were going to do again.
—Coughlan before remedying the situation and blabbering about Peach's quite undignified personal life | ||
The Dick Abuses All His Supporters
Continuing his inability to understand he is causing all his own problems, Coughlan666 posted a video the very next day, quite clearly methed off his ass, pissing on all the people who offered positive comments in support of him:
Apparently, The Dick is incapable of restraining himself from announcing to the internets that his personal issues are serious fucking business.
—Coughlan on his twitter page summing up his default mental state when uploading videos. | ||
xxxThePeachxxx Shits All Over the Free-Thinking, Rational Atheist Community
A week or so after the initial dramabomb, xxxThePeachxxx decided to pull a very Coughlan-like move and undelete her YouTube. The unexpected twist however is that she took the oppurtunity not to reward her well wishers with praise and thanks for a show of support during her rough patch but instead called out the USI havin', herp derpin' clusterfuck that was the YouTube Atheist Alliance.
—ThePeach, quite surprised by YouTube's lack of class. | ||
Peach, much like Coughlan himself, seemed completely caught off guard that a horde of cunts who make a point of swarming those who hold a different opinion than them would suddenly turn so venomous so quickly once she did something they didn't like.
Peach and The Dick Today
Since the fiasco, both parties moved on from the nastiness and continued their lives peacefully. Or did they? A quick check of boths Twitter will show that, while Peach has made no subsequent reference of The Dick post-break up, Coughlan has sent frequent tweets her way on an almost daily basis, clearly ready to add stalking to his long and impressive resume.
Coughlan the Brand
After his break up and subsequent exile return sabbatical glorious resurrection time out, Coughlan made yet another video detailing his ingenious idea to keep attention on him while not being on YouTube anymore; have other would-be Atheist stars post videos on his channel! That's right boys and girls, Richard has come up with the original idea to have people even less interesting than him keep his spirit alive by posting their own engaging material on the Coughlan616 channel!
Or not...
Not 2 weeks later Coughlan headed the anguished cries of a thousand moaners and abandoned the project entirely, pulling all but a single submitted video and using the channel to direct people to (favorite his own) new account and videos, Coughlan000! That the world renown Dick has resorted to sockpuppet faggotry for shameless self promotion will undoubtedly go unnoticed by his placated base.
Year-End Fail 2012
Richard "The Douche" Coughlan went on a steady stream of epic failure in the months leading to the new year. This slippery slope started, with Dicky-Boy freaking out on a 17-year-old girl named Asha Davis, for trying to think for herself, after posting a typically pitiful video, trying to kiss her ass.
This lead to another beef, with yet ANOTHER black woman named NurdyDancing, has lead some to believe that Coughlan is projecting racist butthurt on black women, due to his failed e-lationship with xxxThePeachxxx. After hurling a steady stream of abuse, Coughlan then reverted back to self-pity. Uploading typicaly moany videos about his fragile mental state, and begging complete strangers for money on Facebook. The lulz doesn't stop there, after uploading a series of goddawful acoustic performances, Coughlan bitches a blue streak over a long-time subscriber dropping him because he sucks.
Coughlan Fails In Love
Just like most mentally imbalanced crackheads, Coughlan is unlucky in love. Rather than, like most guys would, take it as a hint to reexamine himself and step up his game. Instead, he chooses to go on Facebook and bitch about the fact that some fucking girl he knew for a week, and spent one whole fucking day with, just put him in the friend zone. Aw, did the love of your life, for one whole day, dump your ass for her abusive ex-boyfriend? Turns out that's what this whole e-begging and "I'm Not Right In The Head" faggotry was all about from the start.
Coughlan's YouTube Boner
As if that weren't embarrassing enough, Coughlan restores his channels, which he had set to private for a whole two days, after his announcement about his delicate mental condition. This time, singing a gay fucking song about how he's fucked Pat Condell, Thunderf00t, and FakeSagan, and that his "YouTube Boner's not going down." Clearly, Coughlan's forced internet tough guy bravado and constant seeking of attention and approval, is a psychological acting out of Coughlan's desire to sexually dominate other men. Unfortunately for Coughlan, the only thing getting dominated is his swollen ass.
2013 - A New Year for Failing
The Dick is feeling picked on this New Year, what with all his money troubles, his girl problems, and his delicate little feelings (boo-hoo), Coughlan posts this video.
Whining about how he's being criticized for claiming to donate the money he's earning for his awesome acoustic songs to charity, even though it's linked to his own PayPal account. The same link he posted on Facebook, asking for donations because he was going through rough times.
Previous Video | Next Video
Trolling Richard Coughlan; A How-To
If you were to take a look at the comment section of any given Coughlan video you'll see one of two types of comments: ecstatic and diehard support, or a failtroll spouting what he believes is concentrated hilariousness. A lesser seen response to a Coughlan video would be articulate, rational observations of Richards faggotry, which upon first observation you probably chalked up to the common knowledge that the kind of people that comment on YouTube videos are either dickriders or retards. The hilarious truth, however, is that during his career of receiving theoretical cockrubs and kudos from the mouthbreathers that are the YouTube Atheist Alliance gained from trolling trailer trash, when confronted by someone without spare chromosomes, Coughlan is put in the precarious position of having to defend himself without falling back on such classics as "You shhhhhhhhhhhtyupid fawk". Though tempting to call out Coughlan on his douchebaggery in a blunt and speedy manner, stating the obvious gives his faggot fanbase an opportunity to spew shit like "omg so mad COUGHLAN TTYL PWN U XD".
Any retard can (and most of them will) declare somebody pointing out what a failure they are as a victory as the opposition didn't attempt to debunk what they said said, but putting them in a position to have to justify their rambling bullshit usually results in hilarity. And because even a crackhead can comprehend that nothing good ever came from a civilized dialog, Coughlan realized the best way to handle such criticism would be to ignore it completely by removing said opposing viewpoints and blocking accounts that make them. Try it at home, kids! It's simple; sign up a sockpuppet on YouTube and try out one of our handy phrases!
- "I respectfully disagree with your political stance
- "For somebody that prides himself on picking on retarded children you sure do get offended easily."
- "A lot of your problems could have been avoided had you not reacted like a complete knob."
- "What part of advertising your personal life on the internet seemed it was a good idea?"
Unfunny, non hostile, and completely and totally reasonable retorts guaranteed to send Coughlan and company into a confused frenzy.
Coughlan666.com
In late 2010, Christian organization the The Alpha Course bought the domain to Coughlan666.com, using it to pimp their Christianity for Dummies course to avoiding hell and offering to sell it back to The Dick for the absurd some of $777. Jokes on them, however, because The Dick is a penniless tweak and couldn't pay that shit if he wanted.
Tributes
Gallery
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Coughlan gets well thought out advice from fellow dissident Wolfeedarkfang. -
Deer mode. -
Gaius Baltar Tries to Look Suave -
The King was later overthrown by The Knights of Powerword.
-
Whackin' it. -
A simple man pushing all bounties. -
Didn't do it for the lulz after all. -
He's totally gonna do it. -
...eventually. -
-
BAW -
-
derp derp IMMA PWN U
External links
- Template:Youtube2 new account
Template:Youtube2(Suspended)- Template:Youtube2 new account
Coughlan on TwitterDeleted- Coughlans new Twitter
- Facebook fanpage
- A website made by Gorilla199 a self obsessed conspiracy theorist and wanker
who allows hate speech on coughlan. Of course allows others like Brett_Keane and Jdub to spread some hate.
See Also
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Gods & Methodology [+]
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High Priests [+]
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Denominations & Organizations [+]
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Followers [+]
Alenonimo • Angie The Atheist • AngryLittleGiri • CapnOAwesome • Coughlan666 • Devin Patrick Kelley • FakeSagan • George Carlin • Hunter Avallone • Jaclyn Glenn • Mumkey Jones • OneLessGod • Pat Condell • Rebecca Watson • Ricky Gervais • Satanists • Seth MacFarlane • Saturnine Films • Steve Shives • TheAmazingAtheist • The Dickriders • Thunderf00t • Undertakerfreak1127 • Zionists | |
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Sheeple & Heresies [+]
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Accessories & Related Concepts [+]
Fedora • Friend Zone • Mountain Dew • My Little Pony • Neckbeard • Nice Guys • Reddit |
| Featured article December 3, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by Gay Teen Forum |
Coughlan666 | Succeeded by Wikileaks |