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Conversion Therapy: Difference between revisions

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'''Conversion Therapy''' is where [[Abusive|loving]] [[Christian]] parents send their [[sin]]ful [[homosexual]] and [[transgender]] offspring so a creepy middle aged man who claims to be an "''[[Faggot|ex-gay]]''" can bring them into [[Jesus]]' light and imbue them with the power of [[heterosexuality]] and an [[anus]] full of [[paedophile]] [[semen]]. As everyone knows, [[God Hates Fags]], and if your [[gay]] child somehow manages to get into [[Heaven]] while in a state of gayness, they will be [[Hell|eternally subjected to the torment]] of having [[God]] beat them up daily so he can [[Bully|steal their lunch money]] and call them a [[faggot]].
'''Conversion Therapy''' is where [[Abusive|loving]] [[Christian]] parents send their [[sin]]ful [[homosexual]] and [[transgender]] offspring so a creepy middle aged man who claims to be an "''[[Faggot|ex-gay]]''" can bring them into [[Jesus]]' light and imbue them with the power of [[heterosexuality]] and an [[anus]] full of [[paedophile]] [[semen]]. As everyone knows, [[God Hates Fags]], and if your [[gay]] child somehow manages to get into [[Heaven]] while in a state of gayness, they will be [[Hell|eternally subjected to the torment]] of having [[God]] beat them up daily so he can [[Bully|steal their lunch money]] and call them a [[faggot]].


With Conversion Therapy™, your child can be freed from their unnatural [[Buttsex|homosexual urges]] and live a [[No life|long, happy life]] with a spouse who just doesn't care that they married a [[closet]]ed [[homosexual]] as long as the marriage produces good [[Christian]] [[How is babby formed?|offspring]] and a steady flow of [[cash]]. Known side effects of Conversion Therapy™ include [[John Wayne Gacy|murdering little boys and burying them in the basement]], [[suicide]] and [[William Atchison|going on a school shooting rampage]] – although these are admittedly a small price to pay for being free of [[AIDS|The Big Gay]].
With Conversion Therapy™, your child can be freed from their unnatural [[Buttsex|homosexual urges]] and live a [[No life|long, happy life]] with a spouse who just doesn't care that they married a [[closet]]ed [[homosexual]] as long as the marriage produces good [[Christian]] [[How is babby formed?|offspring]] and a steady flow of [[cash]]. Known side effects of Conversion Therapy™ include [[John Wayne Gacy|murdering little boys and burying them in the basement]], [[suicide]] and [[William Atchison|going on a school shooting rampage]] – although these are admittedly a small price to pay for being free of [[AIDS|The Big Gay]].
 
Religions other than Christianity generally don't offer Conversion Therapy but do offer alternative treatments for [[homosexuality]] such as [[Lynching|hanging]], [[Islam|stoning]], [[David Buckel|being set on fire]], [[9/11|being thrown off a tall building]] and [[AIDS]] – an experimental treatment that was created by the [[United States]] [[Government]] in the [[1970s]] for the purpose of killing all the [[Africans]].


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Revision as of 18:35, 27 July 2018

File:TouchingSuccessStory.png
A touching Conversion Therapy success story.

Conversion Therapy is where loving Christian parents send their sinful homosexual and transgender offspring so a creepy middle aged man who claims to be an "ex-gay" can bring them into Jesus' light and imbue them with the power of heterosexuality and an anus full of paedophile semen. As everyone knows, God Hates Fags, and if your gay child somehow manages to get into Heaven while in a state of gayness, they will be eternally subjected to the torment of having God beat them up daily so he can steal their lunch money and call them a faggot.

With Conversion Therapy™, your child can be freed from their unnatural homosexual urges and live a long, happy life with a spouse who just doesn't care that they married a closeted homosexual as long as the marriage produces good Christian offspring and a steady flow of cash. Known side effects of Conversion Therapy™ include murdering little boys and burying them in the basement, suicide and going on a school shooting rampage – although these are admittedly a small price to pay for being free of The Big Gay.

Religions other than Christianity generally don't offer Conversion Therapy but do offer alternative treatments for homosexuality such as hanging, stoning, being set on fire, being thrown off a tall building and AIDS – an experimental treatment that was created by the United States Government in the 1970s for the purpose of killing all the Africans.

How Do I Stop Being Gay?

File:ExGay.jpg
This man will rape the gay out of your children.

Removing the gay from a hardened homosexual deviant is a careful process that generally involves Mike Pence hooking up a car battery to your nipples and then using his sacred hammer, Mjölnir, to add an extra kick of about 6 million giga-volts.

Islamic Conversion Therapy

File:KillYourGays.jpeg


See Also


File:ElectricPence.jpg

Conversion Therapy is part of a series on

Social Justice

Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.

Conversion Therapy is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Conversion Therapy
is part of a series on
Christianity
Blessed by God [-+]
Beliefs, Events, Traditions and Other Drama [-+]
Pissing Off the Almighty [-+]
Heathens [-+]
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