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* '''[[EXTREME ANIMALS|/an/]]''' - Board for posting animals and shit like that. These people take their hobby very seriously. You will learn things you never needed to know about [[Cat|cats]], iguanas, and jumping [[Spider|spiders]]. As of last Thursday, this board has pretty much become a softcore version of /b/, except with lotsa animals. They refer to themselves as /an/ts because they [[fail|couldn't come up with anything better]].
* '''[[EXTREME ANIMALS|/an/]]''' - Board for posting animals and shit like that. These people take their hobby very seriously. You will learn things you never needed to know about [[Cat|cats]], iguanas, and jumping [[Spider|spiders]]. As of last Thursday, this board has pretty much become a softcore version of /b/, except with lotsa animals. They refer to themselves as /an/ts because they [[fail|couldn't come up with anything better]].


* '''[[/b/|/b/]]''' - [[fail|WHEN I WAS www.anontalk.com MODS = FAGS slowpoke1.jpg I wanna marry BAWKSY guis! THE BEST shit was SO cash DESU hay guise do i look hot requesting cp I'm 12 and what is this I don't even She EPIN /b/]]. If you want to lose all moral value and sanity, feel free to frequent /b/. Illnesses and sexual deviations like retardism and coprophilia have been [[lie|scientifically proven]] to be symptoms of browsing /b/. They refer to themselves as /b/tards. They are also known for planning attacks on others using the internet, such as scientologists, Australia, and most recently [[Julian_Assange#Mastercard_is_taken_out|Mastercard]] in a misguided attempt to avenge [[Julian Assange]].
* '''[[b|/b/]]''' - [[fail|WHEN I WAS www.anontalk.com MODS = FAGS slowpoke1.jpg I wanna marry BAWKSY guis! THE BEST shit was SO cash DESU hay guise do i look hot requesting cp I'm 12 and what is this I don't even She EPIN /b/]]. If you want to lose all moral value and sanity, feel free to frequent /b/. Illnesses and sexual deviations like retardism and coprophilia have been [[lie|scientifically proven]] to be symptoms of browsing /b/. They refer to themselves as /b/tards. They are also known for planning attacks on others using the internet, such as scientologists, Australia, and most recently [[Julian_Assange#Mastercard_is_taken_out|Mastercard]] in a misguided attempt to avenge [[Julian Assange]].


* '''[[Kawaii|/c/]]''' - A very tame board (compared to the rest) for [[nerds]] who prefer [[anime|Japanese cartoons]] containing girls (and the term is used lightly) who look like [[Lolicon|four year olds]] with freakishly huge eyes. [[lie|One of the four realms where women could plausibly exist on the Internet.]]
* '''[[Kawaii|/c/]]''' - A very tame board (compared to the rest) for [[nerds]] who prefer [[anime|Japanese cartoons]] containing girls (and the term is used lightly) who look like [[Lolicon|four year olds]] with freakishly huge eyes. [[lie|One of the four realms where women could plausibly exist on the Internet.]]

Revision as of 05:41, 17 April 2011

4chan
FoundationOctober 1, 2003
Major Boards/a/, /b/, /co/, /d/, /f/, /fa/, /g/, /h/, /k/, /po/, /r/, /r9k/, /s/, /soc/, /t/, /tv/, /v/
Epic Winsnone, lol
Website4chan.org
Behold the destroyer of worlds.
Behold the destroyer of worlds.
Typical 4chan user.
File:4thread.jpg
Typical 4chan thread.
Full of normal people.
You've been warned.
File:SANSEMEMEOMG!!!.PNG
The might of 4chan makes even Wikia staff cower.
The average /b/tard at work. DESU DESU DESU
4chan: The one place where you would admit wanting to fuck General Cornwallis.
If you don't know who any of these things are, you need to LURK MOAR.
b always offers good advice.
This is where camwhores pimp for fanboys to get their Naruto porn filled on their wishlists. The name of this particular camwhore is Togi-chan.
Trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls.
That'll show 'em.
Wiki <3's 4chan!

File:Bannnff.jpg

You tell em

4chan is many things to many people. To Faux News, 4chan is a hazardous "Leftist Internet Hate Machine" filled with domestic terrorists. To others, it is that site full of weeaboos, trolls, and pedophiles that churns out many of the Internet's most popular viral content. 4chan and Anonymous are defenders of the Internets, and offenders of everything else but cats.

At its core, 4chan is an anonymous Japanimation-themed collection of image boards based on the popular Japanese site Futaba Channel. 4chan is proof positive that the United States should not have stopped with Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but should have nuked the entire island of Japan off the face of the Earth. The site is home to a wide assortment of degenerate losers, all of whom have at least some variant of social anxiety disorder. So, not surprisingly, most of the imageboards consist of hentai and shock images.

A few popular Internet "memes" have their roots at 4chan. Also, many image macros are created there, such as the various Caturday pics. This has led to Anonymous declaring itself "the face of the Internet", when it is truly more reminiscent of the anus of the Internets. 4chan is like the buttplug of the Internet in that it holds all the shit inside the rectums so it doesn't spray out all over. When 4chan goes down, it's like the Internet has explosive diarrhea.

Imageboard Guide

HEY DIPSHITS! See this? CLICK IT AND DO WHAT IT SAYS

The seasoned Internet traveler might find himself debased when presented by the mass of confusion that is so well embodied in 4chan. It is the home of asocial, and at times anti-social, white folk who believe in the superiority of everything that is Japanese because 4chan users love anime almost as much as they love dick. It is divided into many sub-boards, each having its distinct theme for image posting to satisfy the deviant mind. Occasionally to stir up some fun, the mods place wordfilters in the boards to completely fuck around with peoples' posts/opinions. When it comes down to it, every board on 4chan is just /b/ with a theme. Everyone talks the same, complains the same, and trolls the same. Except the hentai boards, they're special. There are also a number of text boards, but nobody cares about them.

  • /3/ - The slowest board on 4chan, /3/ is about 3D animation (3DCG or something)where a bunch of basement-dwelling hobbyists discuss their projects. This board is currently being bent over and raped by /b/, because due to it being the slowest board, people go there for faggotry like combos, doubles, and predicting their post number.
  • /a/ - See /v/. /a/ is just /v/ for anime and churns out its own memes at a similar rate. They hate anime just like /v/ hates the vidya. No longer tame by any standard, it has become a hive of numberfaggotry and ronrey otaku seeking PROMOTIONS. The rate of sages is very high since it is full of faggots.
  • /adv/ - The shitty sequel to relationshit 9000, advice is a test board made by moot to attempt to subvert all the terrible bawww LJ threads off of /r9k/. This probably won't do much, other than divert all the trolls' attention to a different board, and /r9k/ will still suck anyways after the fact because it's b with a robot.
  • /an/ - Board for posting animals and shit like that. These people take their hobby very seriously. You will learn things you never needed to know about cats, iguanas, and jumping spiders. As of last Thursday, this board has pretty much become a softcore version of /b/, except with lotsa animals. They refer to themselves as /an/ts because they couldn't come up with anything better.
  • /cgl/ - Board full of tacos that partake in salsa. Images of people dressed as their favorite anime characters are posted here. A few of those people happen to be quite obese and they get severe muffin top when they attempt to dress up as Yoko.
  • /co/ - Contrary to what you may infer from the title, there's nothing but non-comics & cartoons threads here. It's populated mostly by furfags that find racism and misogyny terribly upsetting, to the point of reporting and removing your posts. Also, they can't stop sucking their own cocks. They refer to themselves as /co/mrades. /co/ is currently inhabited by a janitor who will delete any thread that could even slightly be about comics and/or cartoons.
  • /d/ - /d/icks, because EVERY FUCKING CREATURE IN THERE HAS A DICK!!!1 - Perhaps the hottest of all the cartoon boards on 4chan, /d/ is where they post images of hermaphroditic females with titanically oversized tits. It should be noted that those on this board find such things sexually attractive and fap away over the posted images. But at least they don't post furries! (Except in every single monster girl thread, which all descend into working out how "furry" a picture is and thus how faggy they are. They genuinely do not see the irony in this). These people can no longer piss in a straight line due to massive fappage.
  • /f/ - Flash. This board doesn't suffer from as much faggotry as some boards due to the fact that most /b/tards have never fucking heard of it. Due to this fact, some good content has been posted on occasion, such as 8bitsharkwithwheels and flying lawnmower. Unfortunately, the rest of the content is shit already on Newgrounds, reposts of flash videos that were already posted on /f/, and unfunny black person shoops of said reposts, except worse. Furries also like to troll this place by posting yiffing flash videos to piss everyone off. On Mondays, people love to post vocaloids flash videos.
  • /fa/ - Fashion. If you're looking for hipster faggots, /fa/ is the place to find them. This board might make sense on a site that wasn't filled with overweight wapanese assholes with no fashion sense of which to speak. But sadly, this is 4chan we're talking about. Call them /fa/gs.
  • /fit/ - Health & Fitness. Made out of fatasses who think posting SQUATZ in every thread is funny. Seeing as nobody on /fit/ 4chan actually works out, the fail is doubled. The answer to every question is "SKWATZ N OATZ".
  • /g/ - A new addition full of folk lacking in life and substituting it with superficial techno-worship. It is evident to the observant electronic eye that no knowledgeable persons reside there. It used to be for guro images, but then 4chan went pussy. It is well known /g/ is filled with more sage and nerdrage than any other board. Call them /g/ - Tech Support for the Lulz. i will not
  • /gif/ - Board for posting animated GIFs of porno clips and saying "sauce" and "rapidshit" until someone goes out, finds you porn, and delivers it to you. Seriously, are you people that fucking devoted to being such utter basement-dwellers you can't just find your own porn, you have to get /gif/ to do it for you?
  • /h/ - Hentai board. You can almost smell the semen-stained keyboards.
  • /int/ International /b/, where trolls can troll in their own retarded language but, you will hard pressed to find anything not in english. BEWARE: moot is a filthy Jew and after the closure of /new/, installed a shit fuck of auto global ban filters on certain words to "curb racism". These words are: Jew, Jews, Jewish, Zionists (Yeah, I don't get it either), Nigger, /new/, Stormfront. Also, mentioning anything connecting to jews or even hinting to "racism" will result in a ban of random length. ENJOY UR FREEDOMS!
  • /hr/ - Board for High Res pics. Basically, pictures that are HUEG like Xbox.
  • /i/ - No, this is not an invasion board, but a board for drawing. Why moot didn't just choose a different letter for the board is anyone's guess. The "i" comes from Oekaki, which is the Wapanese word for "doodle" or "scribble". The board has a built in Java application for drawing pictures to upload and share, called Shi-Painter. Not a bad board, but slower than fucked fuck. Gets about a dozen or so posts per day.
  • /jp/ - A board made for the sole purpose of moving all the Touhou and Type-Moon, which used to make up about 85% of all the threads, outside of /a/, because they're actually off-topic. (In other words, /jp/ is /v/, except that you need to install East Asian languages and AppLocale to run anything.) Full of ronery otakus buying figurines, body pillows, and other stuff "normal" people would look down on you for possessing. Please don't think that /jp/ has anything to do with Japan. The name is misleading, and, if you go there expecting to talk about IRL Japan, you will be disappointed.
  • /k/ - Politics & Weapons. Most of the denizens of this board are young Ted Kaczynski's, who believe that "the gubmint is gonna take our guns n' put us all in FEMA camps." One of the most common topics discussed on /k/ is how to kill feds, niggers, and ZOG. The other inhabitants of /k/ are mostly Europeans and weeaboo tripfags who are there solely to troll the incredibly easily trolled /k/ommandos with gun control topics.
  • /lit/ here is your damn book board moot!Ep8pui8Vw2 ## Admin
  • /m/ - Board for talking about robots. Just robots.
  • /mu/ - Your favorite band sucks. If you've forgotten, /mu/ is happy to remind you. Made exclusively for discussing trv kvlt Black Metal, Daft Punk, and Neutral Milk Hotel. In other words, it's pretty much pitchfork.
  • /n/ - /n/igga stoled mah board. This is now a board for some gayshit like transportation (because everyone loves long and hard things like trains), and as of now it is being bent over and raped to death by the niggers at /b/ for some fucking reason.
  • /new/ - Niggers & Jews Bulldozed along with /r9k/.
  • /p/ - Board for cameras and photography. Full of pretentious wankery by weeaboos who take photographs when not fapping over lolicon. Whatever camera you use, they will claim that it sucks, unless it's a Pentax K-X.
  • /po/ Board for Origami and papercraft. It's been years since any normal person has actually given a shit about origami but, hey, it's Japanese so it must be cool! /po/ recently suffered an invasion led by many Jacks from /b/, insistent on turning /po/ into /i/.
  • /r/ - A mythical board where only few traverse. If, by some luck, you manage to find it, usually after you post a picture, in any thread (Posting pictures = Requests), you'll be no closer to finding the source of the picture, because /r/ is shit and never ever fucking works. Despite this, half of the fuckholes on 4chan will still sage your thread because YOU NEED TO POST 10 IMAGES OR ELSE ITS A REQUEST HURRRRR.
  • /r9k/ AKA Robot9000 aka Arcanine - The main hangout of whiny faggots and liberals on 4chan. /r9k/ is the most popular of the trial boards added in early 2008 is gone now. Supposedly a random board, and has a bot that tries (unsuccessfully) to prevent reposts. Was initially supposed to be /b/ without reposts, which is something of an impossibility, since 99% of /b/ is reposts of reposts of reposts. It quickly degenerated into nothing but whiny relationship threads and pseudo-intellectualism, and was basically /b/ with a pretense of intelligence and no sense of humor. When /adv/ was split from it, the original proceeded to get even worse, and it was finally removed in early 2011.
  • /s/ - A place for preteen fanboys to yell NAME! SAUCE! MOAR! and fap to pr0n. The entire board consists of reposts of the same 500 images from the last two years. Not /r/.
  • /sci/ - Science and Math board. Most serious posters are Basement Dwelling Agnostic Atheists with Aspergers and an IQ in the low 120s. Flooded with religion and pseudo-science threads from /b/tards, along with requests for help with algebra homework from 13 year old boys. After it being made very clear that a bunch of butthurt atheists kept on whining about the mods not giving two halves of a flying fuck about /sci/ or the metric fuckton of trolling, some attention-looking fame-hungry teenager made a spinoff of /sci/, entitled SciChan. Is presently heaven on Earth for people whose favorite trolling topic is probability math.
  • /soc/ - Social Board. Created very early in 2011, the board's contents are 95% cancerous bullshit transferred from b to attempt to cut down in 'Rate X', 'Post your area code' matchmaking threads, amongst other things. In other words, /soc/ is primarily the offspring of a half-dead /b/, in a shameless attempt to revive 4chan's flagship forum. Populated mostly by camwhores, (insert US province)fags, and anon.
  • /sp/ - Sports board. Good luck finding a thread that isn't USA vs. Europe, or about how BAWWston sucks cocks. 18-1.
  • /5/ - This is a hidden board and the contents are so far beyond awesome that you would punch your dad if you saw them.
  • /tg/ - For the 4channer demography that so desperately needs to evade from reality, they even play tabletop RPGs (Which everybody knows are against the will of our Lord, Mudkipz, and well, just plain wrong). Posting anything other than Warhammer: 40,000, D&D, Magic: The Gathering, or elf porn will get you banned. Srsly.
  • /tv/ - Obligatory television/movie board. Has strange, stalker-like obsessions with Summer Glau, Sasha Grey, and Creepy-chan (Allison Harvard), which comprise about 70% of the board's content thanks to a sad, lonely samefag. Many posters enjoy adoring Dr. James Wilson/Robert Sean Leonard from House, who has a sizable contingent of fans, most of whom are either bi-curious, gay, or girls. Supernatural fans get their wincest on, which is par for /tv/'s course.
  • /u/ - Yuri board. For fat men pretending to be women and 13 year old girls looking to discuss the latest chapter of their favorite worksafe cutesy romance manga.
  • /v/ - /b/ with vidya gaems. Populated by trolls, former GameFAQs users, former /b/tards, console fanboys, and people who masturbate to PROMOTIONS. It's a common misconception that /v/ has no mods. This is untrue; /v/ has mods, they're just a bunch of lazy niggers. They refer to themselves as /v/irgins.
  • /w/ - For all wallpapers anime. As can be noted by merely observing that "w" comes before "wg", the anime board must have appeared such, only strengthening the entire "Japanese are 1,000x cooler than us" mentality. The only board that lacks (well, not as much "lack" as has a decline in) this philosophy is /b/.
  • /wg/ - This is a general wallpaper board with things ranging from cars to girls to anime to just about anything else a teenage boy could desire yet not be able to afford, now or later in life. Also full of people too stupid to check 4scrape.
  • /x/ - /b/ with ghosts. Since the tragic loss of 7chan, /x/ contracted the cancer that is killing everything else and is now another /b/. ALL of the oldfags have moved to /x/ and other boards and you can't find a single oldfag on /b/ anymore. Seriously, if you post a picture of Cracky Chan nobody will recognize her there.
  • /y/ - This is where girls and guys masturbate over sodomy. And when they're not doing that they battle over which is hotter: guys that look like girls fucking each other or guys that would give Rambo an inferiority complex fucking each other. One of the four realms where women exist on the internet.
  • /z/ - The secret haven for /z/ oldfags. Go there. Right now.

4chan administrators

4chan's moot shortly after gaining his diploma in Mexican Vice Studies.
File:Thread4chanPWNEDez.jpg
Typical intelligence level of one of 4Chan's hilarious threads. First-response /thread.
This will happen to you.
DESTRUCTION RAINS FROM THE HEAVENS.
  1. W. T. Snacks is a loser with a two-beard-second PENIS (when erect). He compensates for this fact by banning everyone at the slightest provocation. This makes him cool. Now banned from 4chan itself, after moot decided he was tired of the way Snacks sucked on his pindick. For approximately one post W. T. Snacks was cool when he stated that "furries cause drama" but now his ban will be as long as the Longcat which bears that length. W. T. Snacks is also a son of a bitch who recommends CD's to people and refuses to pay those people back after they buy said CD's. He is now back, albeit as a regular user with no mod powers. He posts with the tripcode W.T. Snacks !TcT.PTG1.2. He can be found idling in #4chan on Rizon, he's a mIRC kiddie.
  2. Moot used to be somewhat cool, or as cool as someone on the internet can be, posting pictures of himself as a guy in Mexico who graduated high school with a degree in Mexican studies and went on to achieve a degree in black person. Later he revealed his true identity at numerous conventions, even showing up with random fags behaving as if they were his bodyguards. It also seems he was under-aged b& when he made 4chan. Likes soup. He has currently defected to the furries after getting butthurt because his donations were UNDER 9,000!!!!!!
  3. MrSpooky is an ex-mod who spawned the catchphrases "I've never seen so many ingrates" and "You'll receive nothing from me." He frequently made stickies on /b/ begging for money because he got thrown in jail and now he needs donations to pay off his court fees. Smells real great. Now located here at ED with all you other fuckers as User:Mrs.Pooky!
  4. Allyson - A fat, underage whore that looks like the ugly tree that raped her through childhood, managed to go down on Moot long enough for him to give her Mod status. During all of this she apparently stalked a 4channer from her hometown, making her a slut. She's a filthy camwhore that has dozens of STDs and suffers from being a wapanese faggot.

The login page for admin is [server name].4chan.org/[board name]/admin.php. The page for /b/ can be found here

UnderageB&

Underage B&s are the cancer that is killing /b/.

Before cancer took over 4chan, most users were above the age of eighteen. Thanks mainly due to gore. /b/ used to be a horrifying place and only those with the mental stability to handle the kind of shit posted had the balls to even lurk. Even when less horrifying memes became popular, the overall sense was terrifying. It was a bad idea to leave /b/ on your computer when you went to go take a shit.

Now, however, every post is written by someone around age twelve. These faggots found out about 4ailchan through researching the black person on Habbo Hotel. Most hang around because /b/ is turning into the new eBaum's World, with funny parodies on real world events, pics of people SHOOPIN DER WHOOPS (SO KAWAII!), and a place to get free pr0n without getting a virus as well.

This problem could be easily fixed if 4chan's mods grew some balls and started overly enforcing the ban hammer, but we all know that will never happen since if it did, there would be no /b/ left.

Sticky, the 4chan Posting Guide

Meet Sticky! He's your guide to shitposting on /b/.

Sticky is 4chan's latest technology, a mutant inbred offspring of Jews and Clippit that moot worked really, really hard on for at least 100 sleepless days in order to help newfags spout memes more and actually sound like they know what they're talking about to other newfags. While Sticky says he would like to help you with trolling, he probably just wants to help you write a suicide note or rape you. He also doesn't seem to understand that copypasta and trolling is usually intricate work, and trying to do so without any experience will result in cancer like THE BEST and So Cash. Especially when he's flamboyant about his sexuality and weeaboo status. The best thing you can do is disable JavaScript or click "Don't show this tip again," although it likely won't do anything, because it didn't work any better trying to hide Clippit.

Gaiachan

On February 12, 2008 Moot posted his fucking will (tl;dr) on the news page basically talking about imminent changes on 4chan (new trial boards, more janitors, how much he loves the site and much more).

02/19/2008 - The Trial boards and the death of /n/ - News

The thread that killed /n/.

On February 19, 2008, Moot added 9 new "trial" boards: /fa/ (Fashion), /fit/ (Health & Fitness), /hc/ (Hardcore), /jp/ (Japan/General), /n/ (Transportation, replacing News), /r9k/ (ROBOT9000), /sp/ (Sports), /toy/ (Toys) and /trv/ (Travel).

The Occupation of /n/

During a battle with the site's upstream provider, the "/n/-transportation" board (which m♡♡t moderates) was forced off topic. The declarative post (to begin the occupation) was made on Monday, the 11th of April, 2008 at 7:13 pm with the text "Hello, I'm David Bowie." This was a blatant reference to the Adult Swim show the "Venture Brothers", and within the hour there were multiple threads about Barack Obama, the Beijing Olympics, abortion and the Texas Polygamist Raid. It was more than obvious that the anoraks had been invaded and their board occupied in order to be converted back to "/n/-news", yet, in the early hours of the morning, the "admins" reset the posts to remove anything not related to transport.

4chan on Jeopardy

On February 23rd 2010, a clue was featured on Jeopardy in a category entitled 'Internet' containing a reference to 4chan.org:

What is CP?

4chan and the End of Days

On the 1st of April 2010, a date which will always be remembered for April fools, took a dark turn for the humble Anonymous posters of 4chan. Moot being the Jew he is, intergrated a 4chan facebook feature, meaning camwhores and faggots can now post directly between the two websights. This will lead to a influx of newfags like Anontalk to CP. Thx Moot, good to see you always stuck out for the team. This was also marked with the second rising of Boxxy in the form of Deafsy. All contact has been lost with /v/, with only images of babby and a J-POP song being seen and heard, its the end, rape your children for you soon won't be able too.

On the 4th of April the facechan functionality was revealed to be a lame April Fool's joke, with the title of /b/ changing to lol i trol u, resulting in much bawwing and rage. Joke's on moot, though, as any faggot knows that you have to admit to your joke by midday on April 1st. Although the faggots that fell for it fail just as hard.

Birthday

Due to the fact that the typical 4chan lurker is not a wanna be moderator, on the seventh birthday ( 10/1/03 ) Moot opened up a meebo account only to have it overflowed within minutes. Moot redeemed his butt hurt fans by opening up an irc.

Operation Overlord

Moar info: Operation Overlord.

On the 14th of November 2010, 4chan was invaded by tumblr. Reactions such as "NOW WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO." erupted from now bonerless /b/tards everywhere.

Oh, lol, actually, tumblr failed and only DDoS'd the front page.

PUDDI PUDDI

Moar info: Giga Pudding.

On the 1st of December 2010 some fucking hoebag embedded this video at the top of every board on 4chan, although cute and pretty lulzy at first, prolonged exposure to this video will ultimately drive you to finding the nearest pregnant woman and giving her a forced abortion with a rusty ladel while screaming uncontrollably and crushing your testicles with your bare hands. How hard is it to use AdBlock?

Fanfic

A reading from Genesis

In the beginning, there was Moot.
On the first day, Moot created 4chan and said "Lord, this is 4chan, bringer of pain."
On the second day, Moot created Anonymous. They became lonely so Moot created Bridget;
Anonymous complained of this trap, but Moot proclaimed "There are no girls on the interbutt, Bridget will suffice."
On the third day, Moot gave man tripcode. "Behold tripcode," he said. "Only ye who wish to forgive may perform." 
On the fourth day, Moot created /b/, and many Anonymous rejoiced.
On the fifth day, the server crashed, Moot's creation was in disarray and MYSQL errors killed off many Anonymous with no mercy.
On the sixth day, there was a sticky, and many complained of this sticky and thus proclaimed 'This sticky sux0rz.'
On the seventh day, Moot sold 4chan.


The Day 4chan Died. GET IT? IT'S A PARODY SO GTFO.

A long, long, time ago,
I can still remember how that website used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my cat
A cam, photoshop and all that
That, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But December fourteen made me shiver
With every pic that I’d deliver.
Bad news on the front page;
My heart welled up with roid rage.

I can remember it was me
Reading all about this faggotry,
And something touched me deep inside
The day the 4chan died.

So bye-bye, Mr. Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my gun at the bung,
But the homepage was hung.
And them an heroes was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that we die.
"this’ll be the day that we die."

Did moot write the book of love,
And have you lost faith in God above,
If the /b/tards tell you so?
Do you believe in An Hero,
Can 4chan save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to die real slow?
Well, I know that you're in love with moot
'Cause I heard you callin' in don't shoot
You both kicked services 
Man, I dig those DoSes
I was a lonely, GenX basement buck
With a home built PC and no girl to fuck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the 4chan died
I was singin'

So bye-bye, Mr. Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my gun at the bung,
But the homepage was hung.
And them an heroes was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that we die.
"this’ll be the day that we die."

Now for four years we’ve been on our own
And moot grows fat in his corporate home,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When Pedobear sang for the Partyvan,
Using CP he borrowed from 4chan
And a voice that came from those who see,

Oh, since the FBI was looking down,
Pedobear stole his horny crown.
The hijack was adjourned;
The CP was returned.
And while sick fucks typed with just one hand,
The anon waited in the park,
And we sang memes in the dark
The day the 4chan died.
I was singin'

So bye-bye, Mr. Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my gun at the bung,
But the homepage was hung.
And them an heroes was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that we die.
"this’ll be the day that we die."

Epic debasement in the 4chan casement
The anons lurked in their mother's basement
Eight hours old and failing fast
It landed foul on its ass
The /b/tards tried for a skat-like poop
With the Mootle on the sidelines making soup
Now the Bel-Air tune was sweet perfume
While the /b/tards played a marching tune
We all got up to swim
Oh but we never could get in
'Cause the afros tried to block the pool
The Habbo admin we could fool
Do you recall what Mootle said
The day the 4chan died
We started singing

So bye-bye, Mr. Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my gun at the bung,
But the homepage was hung.
And them an heroes was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that we die.
"this’ll be the day that we die."


TL;DR newfags lurk moar

THE UNTIMELY DEATH OF /R9K/ AND /NEW/

On January 18, 2011, moot decided that he need to be a fag again. He killed the /r9k/ board and the /new/ board. This reason can be see here: 


Why were /r9k/ and /new/ removed?

===

/r9k/ was originally created to test an implementation of xkcd's ROBOT9000 script 
[http://blog.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/]. 
The basic idea was that since unoriginal comments and images would be blocked and their 
contributors muted, only original content could be created.

This worked for a while, and the board was essentially a slower, more sophisticated 
version of /b/. The original arcanine users frequently referred to themselves as gentlemen, 
and conducted themselves as such.

Unfortunately, that changed. Many of the original contributors left for boards like /sci/, 
/lit/, and /adv/, which were split away from /r9k/. Lacking a focus, it's long since devolved 
into a BAWW-fest and is a shade of its former self. Past whining, the only original content 
being contributed were greentext threads.

Its removal is long overdue. Per the global message, I'm willing to entertain ideas for 
new boards. If you have an idea for a board that would recapture the magic of greentext, 
but shed the BAWW threads, misogyny, and self-loathing, feel free to suggest it.

tl;dr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cHsNnDfmDs&fmt=18

For those of you unfamiliar with its past, ED has an amusing writeup of /r9k/: 
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/R9gay

---

As for /new/, anybody who used it knows exactly why it was removed. When I re-added 
the board last year, I made a note that if it devolved into /stormfront/, I'd remove it. 
It did -- ages ago. Now it's gone, as promised.

===

In the coming months we'll be adding a new round of janitors (the first in a long time), 
as well as promoting the last remaining active janitors to moderators. Following that, 
we'll be adding new boards. When we're ready to start accepting janitor applications, we'll 
announce it in the global message (red text) area. 

As always, questions/comments/suggestions/concerns/complaints/etc can go to [email protected]. 
Note that I read every message I get, but due to sheer volume and time constraints, am unable 
to respond to all of them. 

---

PS: Check 'em -- http://boards.4chan.org/lit/res/1466666#1466669

The world is yet to decide why moot is such a faggot.

Gallery

  • No freedom of speech in the queen's domain
    No freedom of speech in the queen's domain
  • Closeup of the cancer killing /b/
    Closeup of the cancer killing /b/
  • Her dick was ten times bigger and more painful to contain than his.
    Her dick was ten times bigger and more painful to contain than his.
  • 'tis simple, really
    'tis simple, really
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

Video Links

External links

File:Fightthemoeandfurries.jpg
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