Motorcycle

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Typical motorcyclist.

Do you ever wish that you were a torture technician but find that a little thing called the Geneva Convention stands in your way? Do you see Guantanamo Bay closing and wish that you hadn't been a lazy fuck and joined the military? Too proud to live in a shithole like Turkey or Egypt where torture is still legal? Well, there's always the motorcycle. It's completely useless as a vehicle. You either have to eat bugs as you go or else wear a helmet and look like you never comb your hair. You can't carry anything you buy with it like even the smallest car can. And you're quite likely to get seriously injured from it. Hospitals in fact lovingly refer to these literal cock rockets as "donor-cycles", due to the fact that accidents involving them pretty well always result in a dead rider with ripe young organs ready for the taking (provided they aren't splattered all over the pavement in 38 different directions).

The only actual use of these things is for your vehicle to sound like weed-whacker while being 50 decibels louder than a .44 handgun, which after you've lived next to a neighbor who "repairs" motorcycles all day, sounds like a tiny firecracker going off in comparison. Motorcycles never have any mufflers ever and every single person that rides one will alter the tailpipe so it's as loud as possible. This of course doesn't keep them safe from accidents because the low frequency sound is non-directional so it sounds to other drivers like it's coming from all around them. Every single person who owns a motorcycle is guaranteed to spend at least an hour warming it up in the morning and will spend 100% of their free time revving it. Every motorcycle repairman who does his repairs in a residential neighborhood instead of a real shop will repair the mobile torture device not by changing parts, tuning things, or any realistic work but by simply revving it nonstop until this action magically fixes it.

Ultimately riding a motorcycle, like ass crack diving with ten-year old Filipino boys, is not without its risks, lol...

If only he had worn a helmet.

Gallery

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  Doing anything with a motorcycle automatically makes it 300% more badass.
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Video

Mainstream Media Cycles

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Monowheels

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See Also

• Bike - Pedal-powered, safer alternative
• Car - Enclosed, four-wheeled alternative
• Jonathan Kendrick Lewis - Fake motorcycle rider & an hero.

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