Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.

Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Batman: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
imported>Mr Jonzz
external link to Homosexuality_in_the_Batman_franchise (TOW)
imported>Mr. Bad Example
Alphabetized the villains, rearranged some phrasing.
Line 1: Line 1:
<div class="floatright">{{frame|[[Image:Goddamnbatman.jpeg|255px]]|background=Gold|border=black}}</div>
<div class="floatright">{{frame|[[Image:Goddamnbatman.jpeg|255px]]|background=Gold|border=black}}</div>
{{Spoilers|'''HOLY SHIT BEN AFFLECK IS BATMAN!!!!!!111'''}}
{{Spoilers|'''HOLY SHIT BEN AFFLECK IS BATMAN!!!!!!111'''}}
'''The Goddamn Batman''' is the bat-themed superhero made famous by DC comics in the late 30's and early 40's. Batman wasn't exactly original or ground breaking and certainly wasn't the first comic book character of his kind. You can tell because by the time Batman's creator got into the business, all the other good [[furry]]-themed superhero animals were obviously taken. However, Batman is said to be among the first complex comic book characters, as he is constantly dealing with his own personal demons, such as the loss of his parents, and his [[not gay|closet homosexuality]].   
'''The Goddamn Batman''' is the bat-themed superhero created by DC comics in the late 30s and early 40s. Batman wasn't exactly original or ground breaking, and certainly wasn't the first comic book character of his kind. You can tell because by the time Batman's creator got into the business, all the other good [[furry]]-themed superhero animals were obviously taken. However, Batman is said to be among the first complex comic book characters, as he is constantly dealing with his own personal demons, such as the loss of his parents, and his [[not gay|closet homosexuality]].   
It should be noted that [[Faggot|Batman]] WILL always have a way, which inspires many dreams shared [[Over 9000|by many people]] that he should just admit he's [[Necrophilia|gay]] and [[an hero]].
 


==Supporting characters==
==Supporting characters==
Line 11: Line 11:
[[File:The Fiddler.jpg|thumb|right|"[[Jimmy Savile|Now then, now then, Batman, you'll never catch me]]!"]]
[[File:The Fiddler.jpg|thumb|right|"[[Jimmy Savile|Now then, now then, Batman, you'll never catch me]]!"]]
[[File:BatmanPenguin.jpg|thumb|right|The dastardly Penguin has Batman helpless and in his clutches...]]
[[File:BatmanPenguin.jpg|thumb|right|The dastardly Penguin has Batman helpless and in his clutches...]]
A clown-themed super-villain. Joker is the hallmark [[IRL Troll]] of the Batman franchise because, honestly, he's unpredictable and [[IDIFTL|does everything just for shits and giggles]]. The Joker is most well known form his appearances in mainstream media. He has been played by people such as Jack Nicholson, Luke Skywalker and even [[Heath Ledger|a gay cowboy]].
A clown-themed super-villain. Joker is the hallmark [[IRL Troll]] of the Batman franchise because, honestly, he's unpredictable and [[IDIFTL|does everything just for shits and giggles]]. He has been played by people such as Jack Nicholson, Luke Skywalker, and even [[Heath Ledger|a gay cowboy]].


{{squote|[[wtf|As if that was not enough, Batman began to pin the clown down assuming an ancient male response. As he did so, the sheet that covered his legs exposed bare flesh until finally tipping over, letting Batman do what he hungered for. He wasn’t thinking about his reputation as Gotham’s most eligible bachelor, it didn’t cross his mind about the possible tarnishing of his name at Wayne Enterprises. Caution was thrown to the wind when Batman pressed his muscle bound build onto Joker’s who accepted the reversed role by spreading his thighs and letting the detective undo his robe and meet with his white trembling body.]]|[http://www.quizilla.com/stories/7433889/come-undone-joker A Joker "love" story]}}
{{squote|[[wtf|As if that was not enough, Batman began to pin the clown down assuming an ancient male response. As he did so, the sheet that covered his legs exposed bare flesh until finally tipping over, letting Batman do what he hungered for. He wasn’t thinking about his reputation as Gotham’s most eligible bachelor, it didn’t cross his mind about the possible tarnishing of his name at Wayne Enterprises. Caution was thrown to the wind when Batman pressed his muscle bound build onto Joker’s who accepted the reversed role by spreading his thighs and letting the detective undo his robe and meet with his white trembling body.]]|[http://www.quizilla.com/stories/7433889/come-undone-joker A Joker "love" story]}}


Thankfully, [[Heath Ledger]] killed himself after his role in The Dark Knight was finished. Some say it was because of his poor performance.
Many [[yaoi]] [[fangirls]] are attracted to the character of the Joker due to their misplaced belief that his character is all about [[juggalo|putting on clownish make-up and attention-seeking]].  To them, this is perfectly normal behavior, and they judge it as 'Bishie'.   
 
As demonstrated in the previous stream of fuck-nuggetry, many worthless [[yaoi]] [[fangirls]] are attracted to the character of the Joker due to the misplaced belief that his character is all about [[juggalo|putting on clownish make-up and attention-seeking]].  As far as they are aware, this is perfectly normal behavior, and judge it as 'Bishie'.  Why no one kills this cum-faced cunt is the reason this is a fantasy story, and is proof that Gotham City makes Springfield look intelligent.


===Other Villains===
===Other Villains===
The Batman has a complete set of villains not played by Heath Ledger. Batman villains all have strong themes, such as [[pedophile|a sexual attraction to ''Alice in Wonderland'']], and they are all [[batshit insane]]. ''Batman'' villains include:
The Batman has a complete set of villains not played by Heath Ledger. Batman villains all have strong themes, such as [[pedophile|a sexual attraction to ''Alice in Wonderland'']], and they are all [[batshit insane]]. ''Batman'' villains include:
* '''Poison Ivy''' - Likes plants so much she became one, [[lesbian|best friends]] with Harley Quinn. Played by [[Pro-Ana|Uma]] in the movies.
* '''Anarky''' - V from [[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH|V for Vendetta]], but without the mask and with a big Ⓐ on his shirt. There are literally no other differences.
* '''Harley Quinn''' - The Joker's [[whore]]. She was originally introduced in ''Batman the Animated Series'' but later made it into comics and video games. She is beloved by [[fangirls]], because domestic violence is so [[kawaii]].
* '''Baby Doll''' - Criminally insane permaloli [[Bad Dragon|who has secks with Killer Croc]].
* '''[[Bane]]''' - [[Mexican]] [[drug]] addict and [[homosex|wrestler]]. Nobody cared who he was until he put on the mask.
* '''Black Mask''' - Prefers to be called [[nigger|African-American]] Mask nowadays.
* '''Calendar Man''' - No, [[Srsly|really]].
* '''Catwoman''' - [[Fursuit]]er. Unfortunately [[furry|totally a furry]]. Actually blew up a government installation to save some cats. Gets pissed if you [[gay|don't like pussies]].
* '''Catwoman''' - [[Fursuit]]er. Unfortunately [[furry|totally a furry]]. Actually blew up a government installation to save some cats. Gets pissed if you [[gay|don't like pussies]].
* '''Man-Bat''' - A [[furry]].
* '''Clayface''' - A huge walking [[turd]].
* '''[[Cockmongler|Clock]] King''' - A jerk who hates clocks.
* '''[[Cockmongler|Clock]] King''' - A jerk who hates clocks.
* '''The Scarecrow''' - A [[goth|skinny white man]] who induces people with hallucinogenic [[Aids|drugs]], giving the comic book artists a chance to draw cool, trippy shit. Despite poncing about wearing an outfit made of straw and other highly flammable materials, Batman never just sets him on [[fire]]. Despite being a scrawny little freak with a big nose, has loads of fangirls, probably because in the movies he was played by that watery-eyed wax-faced [[Ireland|Irish boy]] from ''28 Days Later''.
* '''Hugo Strange''' - Evil [[neckbeard]] and one of the only villains to know Batman's real identity.
* '''Killer Croc''' - Also available in ''[[Spiderman]]'', [[freak|not a furry]].
* '''Killer Croc''' - Also available in ''[[Spiderman]]'', [[freak|not a furry]].
* '''Harley Quinn''' - The Joker's [[whore]]. She was originally introduced in ''Batman the Animated Series'' but later made it into comics and video games. She is beloved by [[fangirls]], because domestic violence is so [[kawaii]].
* '''Mad Hatter''' - [[Onideus|A pedo in a stupid hat]].
* '''Man-Bat''' - A [[furry]].
* '''[[Ahnold|Mister Freeze]]''' - He's cool. [[fact|His real name is "Victor Fries".]]
* '''[[Ahnold|Mister Freeze]]''' - He's cool. [[fact|His real name is "Victor Fries".]]
* '''Two Face''' - Indecisive cunt with really bad sunburn down one side of his body, because the Joker replaced his sun tan lotion with his toxic clown jizz.
* '''Onomatopoeia''' - [[Kevin Smith]]'s [[Mary Sue]] villain, an assassin whose schtick is providing his own sound effects. While a guy saying sound effects can sometimes appear cool in a comic book, in a movie or TV show having a guy say "Bang!" after firing a gun would look fucking [[ghey]], so he has zero chance of ever appearing outside of a comic book.
* '''Mad Hatter''' - [[The Unknown Autobot|A pedo in a stupid hat]].
* '''The Motherfuckin' [[Britfag|Penguin]]'''
* '''Baby Doll''' - Criminally insane permaloli [[Bad Dragon|who has secks with Killer Croc]].
* '''Poison Ivy''' - Likes plants so much she became one, [[lesbian|best friends]] with Harley Quinn. Played by [[Pro-Ana|Uma]] in the movies.
* '''Professor Pyg''' - [[Sick fuck]] in a [[Saw|pig mask]].
* '''Prometheus''' - Ridiculous [[Mary Sue]] villain, invented by [[New Age|Grant Morrison]] while high. Once took out the entire Justice League, but then got blindsided by [[Fail|Green Arrow]].
* '''Ra's al Ghul''' - The only [[Arab]] villain Batman fights, which is highly unrealistic, because as we all know [[truth|Arabs are always up to no good]]. His name is pronounced '[[racism|racial ghoul]]'.
* '''[[Faggot|Riddler]]''' - [[Faggot]] who [[forced meme|can't stop using stupid riddles]].
* '''[[Faggot|Riddler]]''' - [[Faggot]] who [[forced meme|can't stop using stupid riddles]].
* '''Calendar Man''' - No, really.
* '''The Scarecrow''' - A [[goth|skinny white man]] who induces fear in people with hallucinogenic [[Jenkem|drugs]], giving the comic book artists a chance to draw cool, trippy shit. Even though he ponces about wearing an outfit made of straw and other highly flammable materials, Batman never just sets him on [[fire]]. Despite being a scrawny little freak with a big nose, has loads of fangirls, probably because in the movies he was played by that watery-eyed wax-faced [[Ireland|Irish boy]] from ''28 Days Later''.
* '''Black Mask''' - Prefers to be called [[nigger|African-American]] Mask nowadays.
* '''The Sewer King''' - [[Shit nobody cares about|Nobody gives a fuck about Sewer King]].
* '''Solomon Grundy''' - A character concept rejected from [[Resident Evil]]. Lives in the sewer and [[Emo|recites poetry]].
* '''Two Face''' - Indecisive cunt with really bad sunburn down one side of his body, because the Joker replaced his sun tan lotion with toxic clown jizz.
* '''The Ventriloquist''' - Started as creepy guy talking to a puppet. [[Trap|Recently became a hot chick]].<br>
* '''The Ventriloquist''' - Started as creepy guy talking to a puppet. [[Trap|Recently became a hot chick]].<br>
* '''Solomon Grundy''' - A character concept rejected from [[Resident Evil]]. Lives in the sewer and [[Emo|recites poetry]].
* '''The Motherfuckin' Penguin'''
* '''[[Bane]]''' - [[Mexican]] [[drug]] addict and [[homosex|wrestler]]. Nobody cared who he was until he put on the mask.
* '''Mr. Zsasz''' - Serial killer and [[cutter]].
* '''Mr. Zsasz''' - Serial killer and [[cutter]].
* '''Huge Strange''' - Evil [[neckbeard]] and one of the only villain to know batmans real identity.
* '''Onomatopoeia''' - [[Kevin Smith]]'s [[Mary Sue]] villain, an assassin who's schtick is providing his own sound effects. While a guy saying sound effects can sometimes appear cool in a comic book, in a movie or TV show having a guy say "Bang!" after firing a gun would look fucking [[ghey]], so he has zero chance of ever appearing outside of a comic book.
* '''Clayface''' - A huge walking [[turd]].
* '''Professor Pyg''' - [[Sick fuck]] in a [[Saw|pig mask]].
* '''Ra's al Ghul''' - The only [[Arab]] villain Batman fights, which is highly unrealistic, because as we all know [[truth|Arabs are always up to no good]]. His name is pronounced '[[racism|racial ghoul]]'.
* '''Anarky''' - V from [[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH|V for Vendetta]], but without the mask and with a big Ⓐ on his shirt. There are literally no other differences.
* '''Prometheus''' - Ridiculous [[Mary Sue]] villain, invented by [[New Age|Grant Morrison]] while high. Once took out the entire Justice League, but then got blindsided by [[Fail|Green Arrow]].
* '''The Sewer King''' - [[Shit nobody cares about|Nobody gives a fuck about Sewer King]].


===Other Good Guys===
*'''Commissioner Gordon''': Head of the Gotham City [[police]] Department. Considered one of Batman's most trusted allies, despite the fact that the cops never even show up until [[lazy|after]] Batman subdues the villains.


*'''Barbara Gordon''': Commissioner Gordans [[ginger]] daughter. She was at one point shot in the spine but fully recovered and became Batwoman.


===The Good Guys===
*'''Commissioner Gordon''': Head of the Gotham City [[police]] Department. Considered one of Batman's most trusted allies, despite the fact that the cops never even show up until [[lazy|after]] Batman subdues the villains.
*'''Barbara Gordon''': Commissioner Gordon's [[ginger]] daughter. She was at one point shot in the spine but fully recovered and became Batwoman.
*'''The Question''': Like Batman, the Question has no real superpowers besides being intelligent. [[Anonymous|He often wears a suit and a green mask that removes all facial features]].
*'''Robin''':
*'''Robin''':


{{quote|''At some point, I realized I needed a sidekick. Who better than a tight, well-toned circus runaway with no family and an overwhelming desire to please me in return for candy?''|Batman, telling it how it is.}}
{{quote|''At some point, I realized I needed a sidekick. Who better than a tight, well-toned circus runaway with no family and an overwhelming desire to please me in return for candy?''|Batman, telling it how it is.}}


Batman's [[shota]] sidekick, and "adopted son". He specializes in hand jobs, and getting captured by the Joker. He is deeply in love with Batman and is often found trying to seduce him by wearing [[gay|faggy]] short tights. Robin in general is an all-around [[bitch]], when not trying to get into Batman's pants or getting his ass kicked, he can be found being replaced by another kid for getting too old. Said replacements include:
Batman's [[shota]] sidekick, and "adopted son". He specializes in hand jobs, and getting captured by the Joker. He is deeply in love with Batman and is often found trying to seduce him by wearing [[gay|faggy]] short tights. When not trying to get into Batman's pants or getting his ass kicked, he can be found being replaced by another kid for getting too old. Said replacements include:
**'''[[Dick]] Grayson''': Circus freak and the oh so serious leader of the [[Teen Titans]]. Temporarely becomes Batman.
**'''[[Dick]] Grayson''': Circus freak and the oh so serious leader of the [[Teen Titans]]. Temporarily becomes Batman.
**'''Jason Todd''': [[Pwned]] by the Joker. Comes back to life.
**'''Jason Todd''': [[Pwned]] by the Joker. Comes back to life.
**'''Tim Drake''': Nobody cares.
**'''Tim Drake''': Nobody cares.
**'''[[16 year old girl|Stephanie Brown]]''': Girl Robin introduced because they wanted to draw more [[Fanservice|hot chicks in leather]]. Only lasted three issues before getting killed, but later came back to life after the addition of the female Batman villains so she could be included in all sorts of lesbian orgies.
**'''[[16 year old girl|Stephanie Brown]]''': Girl Robin introduced because they wanted to draw more [[Fanservice|hot chicks in leather]]. Only lasted three issues before getting killed.
**'''Damian Wayne''': Son of Bruce and Talia al Ghul (Ra's al Ghul's daughter). Talia raped Bruce so don't you think for a second that he's straight. Recently got [[dead|pwned]].
**'''Damian Wayne''': Son of Bruce and Talia al Ghul (Ra's al Ghul's daughter). Talia raped Bruce so don't you think for a second that he's straight. Recently got [[dead|pwned]].


*'''The Question''': Like batman, the Question, has no real superpowers besides being intelligent. [[Anonymous|He often wears a suit and a green mask that removes all facial features]].
 


==Batmobile==
==Batmobile==
Line 73: Line 73:


==Alignment==
==Alignment==
Batman is consistently the character who's [[alignment]] is subject to constant debate, and seems to defy the conventions of the system. Given the sheer amount of time that [[Fantards|Bat-Fans]] have on their hands, you think they would figure out this shit eventually. Here are the fruits of their [[unemployed|lack of labor]]:
Batman's [[alignment]] is subject to constant debate, and seems to defy the conventions of the system. Given the sheer amount of time that [[Fantards|Bat-Fans]] have on their hands, you think they would figure out this shit eventually. Here are the fruits of their [[unemployed|lack of labor]]:


<center>{{frame|[[Image:Batman Alignment.jpg|center|600px|]]|background=gold|border=black}}</center>
<center>{{frame|[[Image:Batman Alignment.jpg|center|600px|]]|background=gold|border=black}}</center>
Line 80: Line 80:
{{main|The Dark Knight IMDb Board}}
{{main|The Dark Knight IMDb Board}}
[[Image:Heath-ledger-death-photo.jpg|thumb|At least now we know why the Joker [[Drugs|needed to steal all that money]].]]
[[Image:Heath-ledger-death-photo.jpg|thumb|At least now we know why the Joker [[Drugs|needed to steal all that money]].]]
The second latest film in the ''Batman'' saga, ''The Dark Knight'' is considered by all the top [[basement dwellers|critics]] to be the greatest thing to ever happen to them since their last [[cybersex|excursion in totally legitimate reproductive intercourse]].  
''The Dark Knight'' is considered by top [[basement dwellers|critics]] to be the greatest thing to ever happen to them since their last [[cybersex|excursion in totally legitimate reproductive intercourse]]. It hit the number one spot on [[IMDB]]'s best movies of all time list within an hour of its release and then garnered more money than the first ''Star Wars'' film, solidifying it as "one of the most awesome movies of all time". Despite this, when the movie [http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/08/28/japan-hates-the-dark-knight/ came to Japan] the inhabitants of Godzilla-land showed zero interest in the film. ''[[Shit|The Mummy 3]]'', ''[[MTV|What Happens in Vegas]]'', and ''[[New York City|Sex in the City]]'' all had higher box office intake than ''The Dark Knight''. Why so unpopular? It has to do with Japan's utter hatred for manly men who have to shave and have a baritone voice, big penises, and muscles. Japan likes heroes that look like [[Final Fantasy|androgynous pop idols who whine about how sad they are]]. The sheer manliness of Christian Bale's cock probably made the entire country tremble in fear.
 
''The Dark Knight'' hit the number one spot on [[imdb]]'s best movies of all time list within an hour of its release and then garnered more money than the first ''Star Wars'' film, solidifying it as "one of the most awesome movies of all time". Despite this, when the movie [http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/08/28/japan-hates-the-dark-knight/ came to Japan] the inhabitants of Godzilla-land showed zero interest for the film. ''[[Shit|The Mummy 3]]'', ''[[MTV|What Happens in Vegas]]'', and ''[[New York City|Sex in the City]]'' all had higher box office intake than ''The Dark Knight''. Why so unpopular? It has to do with Japan's utter hatred for manly men who have to shave, have a baritone voice, big penises, and muscles. Japan likes heroes that look like [[Final Fantasy|androgynous pop idols who whine about how sad they are]]. The sheer manliness of Christian Bale's cock probably made the entire country tremble in fear.


Since critics said that Heath Ledger, fanboys lined up for hours to watch this [[shit|masterpiece]]. Too bad it was about as entertaining as British porn, but at least you get to see Batman's dong, thanks to the new [[Fursuit|batsuit]]. Oh, and he's [[dead|not going to be in the sequel.]]{{clear}}
Fanboys lined up for hours to watch this [[shit|masterpiece]]. Too bad it was about as entertaining as British porn, but at least you get to see Batman's dong, thanks to the new [[Fursuit|batsuit]]. Oh, and Heath Ledger's [[dead|not going to be in the sequel.]]{{clear}}


==Galleries==
==Galleries==
Line 92: Line 90:
Image:Batman nostalgia.jpg
Image:Batman nostalgia.jpg
Image:GTA Gotham City.jpg
Image:GTA Gotham City.jpg
Image:Batman A Death In The Family.jpg|Joker is a [[pretty cool guy]].<br>eh kills kids with a metal-bar and doesn't afraid of anything.
Image:Batman A Death In The Family.jpg|Joker is a [[pretty cool guy]].<br>eh kills kids with a metal bar and doesn't afraid of anything.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:My parents are deeaaaaaad.jpg|Bawwwwwwwww.
Image:My parents are deeaaaaaad.jpg|Bawwwwwwwww.
Line 131: Line 129:
Image:Jokerscat.jpg|Y SO [[Serious Cat|SRS, CAT]]?
Image:Jokerscat.jpg|Y SO [[Serious Cat|SRS, CAT]]?
Image:Not sure if serious.jpg
Image:Not sure if serious.jpg
Image:BatmanisaFurry.jpg|Batman a proud [[furry]].
Image:BatmanisaFurry.jpg|Batman is a proud [[furry]].
Image:Batman and Robin Fight Trolls.png|Batman and Robin sometimes pop up on [[sick fuck|/d/]], where they fight [[trolls]].
Image:Batman and Robin Fight Trolls.png|Batman and Robin sometimes pop up on [[sick fuck|/d/]], where they fight [[trolls]].
Image:Batman84.gif|[[Not Gay]].
Image:Batman84.gif|[[Not Gay]].
Line 248: Line 246:


==Videos==
==Videos==
We think Batman is capable of dealing with everything, but this shows just how a puny little drug addict can easily overcome the Dark Knight. With a taser to the crotch! Followed up with heroin, [[surprise sex]], and more heroin, and then some BAWWWWING about his own [[prison]] experiences, and then a little suicide. At the end, this causes Batman to become an [[an hero]].
We think Batman is capable of dealing with everything, but this shows just how a puny little drug addict can easily overcome the Dark Knight with a taser to the crotch. Followed up with heroin, [[surprise sex]], and more heroin, and then some BAWWWWING about his own [[prison]] experiences, and then a little suicide. At the end, this causes Batman to become an [[an hero]].


<center>{{fv|Videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
<center>{{fv|Videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;

Revision as of 18:45, 8 December 2013

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT BEN AFFLECK IS BATMAN!!!!!!111!!!1

The Goddamn Batman is the bat-themed superhero created by DC comics in the late 30s and early 40s. Batman wasn't exactly original or ground breaking, and certainly wasn't the first comic book character of his kind. You can tell because by the time Batman's creator got into the business, all the other good furry-themed superhero animals were obviously taken. However, Batman is said to be among the first complex comic book characters, as he is constantly dealing with his own personal demons, such as the loss of his parents, and his closet homosexuality.


Supporting characters

The Joker

<video type="youtube" id="WWz5h4or-yo" width="200" height="180" position="right" desc="Joker's also a fan of Bel-Air's, apparently"/>

Harley doing what she loves.
Catwoman is such a great role model for women.
"Now then, now then, Batman, you'll never catch me!"
The dastardly Penguin has Batman helpless and in his clutches...

A clown-themed super-villain. Joker is the hallmark IRL Troll of the Batman franchise because, honestly, he's unpredictable and does everything just for shits and giggles. He has been played by people such as Jack Nicholson, Luke Skywalker, and even a gay cowboy.

Many yaoi fangirls are attracted to the character of the Joker due to their misplaced belief that his character is all about putting on clownish make-up and attention-seeking. To them, this is perfectly normal behavior, and they judge it as 'Bishie'.

Other Villains

The Batman has a complete set of villains not played by Heath Ledger. Batman villains all have strong themes, such as a sexual attraction to Alice in Wonderland, and they are all batshit insane. Batman villains include:

  • Anarky - V from V for Vendetta, but without the mask and with a big Ⓐ on his shirt. There are literally no other differences.
  • Baby Doll - Criminally insane permaloli who has secks with Killer Croc.
  • Bane - Mexican drug addict and wrestler. Nobody cared who he was until he put on the mask.
  • Black Mask - Prefers to be called African-American Mask nowadays.
  • Calendar Man - No, really.
  • Catwoman - Fursuiter. Unfortunately totally a furry. Actually blew up a government installation to save some cats. Gets pissed if you don't like pussies.
  • Clayface - A huge walking turd.
  • Clock King - A jerk who hates clocks.
  • Hugo Strange - Evil neckbeard and one of the only villains to know Batman's real identity.
  • Killer Croc - Also available in Spiderman, not a furry.
  • Harley Quinn - The Joker's whore. She was originally introduced in Batman the Animated Series but later made it into comics and video games. She is beloved by fangirls, because domestic violence is so kawaii.
  • Mad Hatter - A pedo in a stupid hat.
  • Man-Bat - A furry.
  • Mister Freeze - He's cool. His real name is "Victor Fries".
  • Onomatopoeia - Kevin Smith's Mary Sue villain, an assassin whose schtick is providing his own sound effects. While a guy saying sound effects can sometimes appear cool in a comic book, in a movie or TV show having a guy say "Bang!" after firing a gun would look fucking ghey, so he has zero chance of ever appearing outside of a comic book.
  • The Motherfuckin' Penguin
  • Poison Ivy - Likes plants so much she became one, best friends with Harley Quinn. Played by Uma in the movies.
  • Professor Pyg - Sick fuck in a pig mask.
  • Prometheus - Ridiculous Mary Sue villain, invented by Grant Morrison while high. Once took out the entire Justice League, but then got blindsided by Green Arrow.
  • Ra's al Ghul - The only Arab villain Batman fights, which is highly unrealistic, because as we all know Arabs are always up to no good. His name is pronounced 'racial ghoul'.
  • Riddler - Faggot who can't stop using stupid riddles.
  • The Scarecrow - A skinny white man who induces fear in people with hallucinogenic drugs, giving the comic book artists a chance to draw cool, trippy shit. Even though he ponces about wearing an outfit made of straw and other highly flammable materials, Batman never just sets him on fire. Despite being a scrawny little freak with a big nose, has loads of fangirls, probably because in the movies he was played by that watery-eyed wax-faced Irish boy from 28 Days Later.
  • The Sewer King - Nobody gives a fuck about Sewer King.
  • Solomon Grundy - A character concept rejected from Resident Evil. Lives in the sewer and recites poetry.
  • Two Face - Indecisive cunt with really bad sunburn down one side of his body, because the Joker replaced his sun tan lotion with toxic clown jizz.
  • The Ventriloquist - Started as creepy guy talking to a puppet. Recently became a hot chick.
  • Mr. Zsasz - Serial killer and cutter.



The Good Guys

  • Commissioner Gordon: Head of the Gotham City police Department. Considered one of Batman's most trusted allies, despite the fact that the cops never even show up until after Batman subdues the villains.
  • Barbara Gordon: Commissioner Gordon's ginger daughter. She was at one point shot in the spine but fully recovered and became Batwoman.
  • The Question: Like Batman, the Question has no real superpowers besides being intelligent. He often wears a suit and a green mask that removes all facial features.
  • Robin:
   
“ 		 
At some point, I realized I needed a sidekick. Who better than a tight, well-toned circus runaway with no family and an overwhelming desire to please me in return for candy?
  		„
  		 

—Batman, telling it how it is.

Batman's shota sidekick, and "adopted son". He specializes in hand jobs, and getting captured by the Joker. He is deeply in love with Batman and is often found trying to seduce him by wearing faggy short tights. When not trying to get into Batman's pants or getting his ass kicked, he can be found being replaced by another kid for getting too old. Said replacements include:

    • Dick Grayson: Circus freak and the oh so serious leader of the Teen Titans. Temporarily becomes Batman.
    • Jason Todd: Pwned by the Joker. Comes back to life.
    • Tim Drake: Nobody cares.
    • Stephanie Brown: Girl Robin introduced because they wanted to draw more hot chicks in leather. Only lasted three issues before getting killed.
    • Damian Wayne: Son of Bruce and Talia al Ghul (Ra's al Ghul's daughter). Talia raped Bruce so don't you think for a second that he's straight. Recently got pwned.


Batmobile

Either the most badass or gayest car ever, depending on which series you are watching/reading. The best thing about the Batmobile is that if you happen to run anyone over while driving it, then there's pretty much no doubt as to who did it, so you could probably get away with anything. The only thing Batman hates more than chocolate ice cream is people making fun of his car.

Anger issues, Batboy?

Alignment

Batman's alignment is subject to constant debate, and seems to defy the conventions of the system. Given the sheer amount of time that Bat-Fans have on their hands, you think they would figure out this shit eventually. Here are the fruits of their lack of labor:

The Dark Knight

Moar info: The Dark Knight IMDb Board.

At least now we know why the Joker needed to steal all that money.

The Dark Knight is considered by top critics to be the greatest thing to ever happen to them since their last excursion in totally legitimate reproductive intercourse. It hit the number one spot on IMDB's best movies of all time list within an hour of its release and then garnered more money than the first Star Wars film, solidifying it as "one of the most awesome movies of all time". Despite this, when the movie came to Japan the inhabitants of Godzilla-land showed zero interest in the film. The Mummy 3, What Happens in Vegas, and Sex in the City all had higher box office intake than The Dark Knight. Why so unpopular? It has to do with Japan's utter hatred for manly men who have to shave and have a baritone voice, big penises, and muscles. Japan likes heroes that look like androgynous pop idols who whine about how sad they are. The sheer manliness of Christian Bale's cock probably made the entire country tremble in fear.

Fanboys lined up for hours to watch this masterpiece. Too bad it was about as entertaining as British porn, but at least you get to see Batman's dong, thanks to the new batsuit. Oh, and Heath Ledger's not going to be in the sequel.

Galleries

  • Joker is a pretty cool guy. eh kills kids with a metal bar and doesn't afraid of anything.
    Joker is a pretty cool guy.
    eh kills kids with a metal bar and doesn't afraid of anything.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Superman finds out that Batman's been cheating on him with his cousin.
    Superman finds out that Batman's been cheating on him with his cousin.
  • Other Batman villains.
    Other Batman villains.
  • You will never be eaten alive by a giant clown girl...
    You will never be eaten alive by a giant clown girl...
  • Robin, deploy the Bat-Jizz!
    Robin, deploy the Bat-Jizz!
  • No exceptions!
    No exceptions!
  • Batman rapes Robin.
    Batman rapes Robin.
  • Always testing the bat pole.
    Always testing the bat pole.
  • Teamwork is the key to their crime fighting success.
    Teamwork is the key to their crime fighting success.
  • Hmmmmm
    Hmmmmm
  • Why so rule 34ed?
    Why so rule 34ed?
  • Who's the boss?
    Who's the boss?
  • No matter how many times bad guys get defeated, they will always have a big dick.
    No matter how many times bad guys get defeated, they will always have a big dick.
  • The Joker, about to show Two-Face his "pencil trick".
    The Joker, about to show Two-Face his "pencil trick".
  • Holy double-team Batman!
    Holy double-team Batman!

[-+]Copypasta


Once upon a time there was a young man named Batman.

Then his parents got dead.
And then Batman got pissed off, so then he fucked-off to Princeton.
And then he fucked-off to China to be a ninja because his parents were dead.
Batman went back home to Earth and said “I will become Batman.”
And he became BAT-MAN.
Then Batman dicked around for a bit…
Then Batman said “I need a Bat-buttmobile.”
But Morgan Freeman said “NO! You get a tank because you suck dick!” and germs killed the martians…
So Batman fucked around for a while and then there was a guy with a potato-sack for a head and he said “Fuck You!”
And Batman said “No…Fuck you.”
Then Batman made him get dumb.
Then there was a ninja on a train that said “Everyone in this city is a dick-butt!”
So Batman said “Enjoy your choo-choo to dick-fuck town.”

And everybody died especially Heath Ledger.

Videos

We think Batman is capable of dealing with everything, but this shows just how a puny little drug addict can easily overcome the Dark Knight with a taser to the crotch. Followed up with heroin, surprise sex, and more heroin, and then some BAWWWWING about his own prison experiences, and then a little suicide. At the end, this causes Batman to become an an hero.

An average evening with Mr. Wayne

Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

Batman
is part of a series on
Comic Books

Comics

300 • Aquaman • Archie • Batman • Calvin and Hobbes • Cerebus • Deadpool • Dilbert • Garfield • Incarnate • Iron Man • Lobo • MAD magazine • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World • Spider-man • Superman • Teen Titans • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles • The Boondocks • The Incredible Hulk • The Walking Dead • Transformers • V for Vendetta • Watchmen • Wolverine • Wonder Woman • X-Men

Related Stuff

60's Spider-Man • Ace's Last Moments • Alan Moore • Bane • Black Panther • Canon • Captain Underpants • Carlos Latuff • Chick tracts • City of Heroes • /co/ • Comic book fans • Comic-Con • Comics • ComicsGate • Disney • Drawn Sex • Everybody Draw Mohammed Day • Fanboy • Frank Face • Goku Vs Superman • Graphic art • Green Lex Luthor • HAHAHA OH WOW • Horsecock • How Do I Shot Web? • Iron Man Numbers • Jhonen Vasquez • Joan Cornella • Marvel vs Capcom 3 • Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes • Muhammad Cartoons • Neil Gaiman • Paheal • Punisher Skulls • Real Life Super Hero • Superdickery • Superman 64 • Stan Lee • The Batman Rapist • The Dark Knight IMDb Board • The Juggernaut • Tyrannosaurus Reich • Webcomics • Why So Exploitable? • Why So Serious?

Batman is part of a series on

Television

Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article February 4th and 5th, 2013
Preceded by
Britam 		Batman Succeeded by
Pamperchu
Retrieved from "https://edramatica.com/index.php?title=Batman&oldid=244236"