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Angry Video Game Nerd: Difference between revisions
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Meanwhile, AVGN continued to decline with game selections that made it painfully clear to everyone except what few shit encrusted boot licking fanboys he has left that Rolfe's passion for calling games AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and a WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK is no longer burning with the intensity of a diabetic fat fuck's heart seconds before he keels over in the Little Debbies snack cake aisle at his local Wal-Mart. | Meanwhile, AVGN continued to decline with game selections that made it painfully clear to everyone except what few shit encrusted boot licking fanboys he has left that Rolfe's passion for calling games AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and a WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK is no longer burning with the intensity of a diabetic fat fuck's heart seconds before he keels over in the Little Debbies snack cake aisle at his local Wal-Mart. | ||
Starting in 2022, AVGN completely sold out and became "algorithm-friendly" heavily censored crap full of ads with no more anger or swear words. Not even the original theme song is used anymore. Why? [[JewTube]] has become all about money and no longer allows creativity or fun. Cinemassacre wanted to jump on the hip trendy bandwagon by pandering to sponsors. | |||
===The Three Stooges=== | ===The Three Stooges=== | ||
Latest revision as of 02:41, 25 December 2024
The Angry Video Game Nerd (aka James "roach" Rolfe) is a basement dwelling, ADD-ridden, nerdraged, coprophiliac, furry who creates long-winded, monotone Gametrailers.com videos where he "reviews" bad video games and, extending to his YouTube account, films. Instead of actually reviewing the games like a professional slapstick author (video game reviewing is serious business), he just yells infantile cusswords (about at a 12-year-old's level) at his television screen. You, the viewer, find this hilarious. Most of them roughly consist of off-key utterances from some shit-eating whacked out autistic chug, e.g. "What the fuck!" "What the fuckin' fuck!!" "What a piece of fuck!".
At the end of a review, he repeatedly talks about topics surrounding shit, such as how he longs for the game to be over so he could milk a bull's asshole (or his own) inside out, take a shit on a game, or simply talk about shit itself. Because really, nothing is funnier than doing the same joke over and over again.
He also takes a swig of a beer bottle every three seconds in his videos to prove to people that he's a man, when really he's only trying to wash out the taste of cum from his mouth.
Angry Nintendo Nerd has officially changed his named to Angry Video Game Nerd (AVaGiNa) so he wouldn't get sued by Nintendo for making shitty shirts with his catchphrases on them, thereby associating "Nintendo" with this schizoid, liberal bullfuck phenomenon. In reality, AVGN never mentions politics, so it's best to conclude that a butthurt conservative would label him liberal. In all possibility, this inflammation of said conservative's asshole probably originate in the Mecha-Christ 2000 character from AVGN. Don't mess with the precious Jeebus man. It should be noted that regardless of this legal genius, he still has an IQ dwarfed by that of the average 4chan user's left testicle.
However, despite the explosion of "Angry Internet Reviewers" that shat out all over YouTube after his generating fame in 2006, James has maintained a meek, friendly, and down-to-earth visage when interacting with his fans through vlogs or conventions (unlike other reviewers and conglomerates whose egos have inflated to a size comparable to Girlvinyl's total body mass), to this day. However, it is speculated that under this guise of a shy and soft-spoken Internet celebrity, James, deep down, is most likely a homicidal maniac who'll slash a bitch's throat the first moment his temper is tested.
Reviews
Previous Image | Next Image
Although it is true that most of the games he reviews are complete and utter horseshit, his reasons for hating them mainly boil down to him sucking capital ass at video games. It appears the Angry Video Game Nerd (read: Unfunny Video Game Faggot) has reviewed every old game that you've never heard of, and that his shit-related phrase count is well over 9,000 (to the delight of no one).
—Official AVGN website - Admitting he only talks to faggots | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
It seems to be funny to 99% of the world when someone adds 'fuck' at the end of a word and pretends to suck at video games similar to how the Tourette's Guy pretends to suck at life which is kind of ironic since both him and the AVGN talk about having sex with animals.
For example: "cockadooky bullfuck". Now that was some major lulz? How about "shitload of fuck"? Not just a load of fuck, but a shitload of it! How does he come up with this stuff?
Accurate examples of his reviews
AVGN - Resistance: Fall of Man
Previous Video | Next Video
Other shit on the channel
A new and original series that James and Mike came up with called James and Mike Mondays has them playing various games together, although not in the same crude humor that they both usually have. Yep totally original, nothing like this came before it. This is actually less painful to watch than any newer AVGN episode, but since Mike is part of it, it's still never fun to watch.
Update: as of 2021, James has fired Mike and everyone else who used to appear in Cinemassacre videos. Now the only guest is some sand nigger named John in a shitty ass new series called "Neighbor Nerds".
Plagiarism
Remember when rabid AVGN fanboys were giving Irate Gamer shit for being a complete hack? Now it seems that James decided to do like Irate and straight out copy a concept. You take a video game cover. The segment is around 5 minutes. You make spurious connections with regards to the cover art. Underneath you put classical music and you have Yahtzee's judging by the cover, and now James' "Bad Game Cover Art". For a comparison just look at these two:
James - perfect plagiarist
Downtime
Somewhere beginning of April 2007, because the furfag retards TheGameBoys account got all their followers to mark all his videos as inappropriate, YouTube started removing the ANN's videos obviously because he sucks a snails ass at being lulzworthy and rather ends up lookin' like an extremely annoying ADD-ridden 12-year-old who can't figure out how to work a fucking joystick. You know, the ones that come with instructions.
Suspension mk. I
Last week YouTube suspended the AVGN account. No reason was given, but lots of lulz and BAWWing were seen among the AVGN fanboys. This later turned out to be the result of GameTrailers' own incompetence. Apparently, GameTrailers was too stupid to figure out that the one posting the Angry Video Game Nerd videos was, in fact the AVGN himself and made copyright complaints.
Suspension mk. II
On January 8th, 2013, both the JamesNintendoNerd and Cinemassacre channels were terminated for ToS reasons. However, this moment was short-lived, as JamesNintendoNerd's channel was re-instated in half a day. The Cinemassacre channel took longer but unfortunately, it's back.
Butthurt fanboys then tried to find something to blame, so they decided to blame Sega for what happened. This was due to when Sega made DMCA takedowns on various YouTubers that had Shining Force in their videos (regardless of content). Despite the fact that both channels were taken down for ToS violations and not for copyright infringement, the AVGN fans continue to attack Sega. Plus, WHEN THE FUCK DID JAMES AND MIKE EVER TALK ABOUT SHINING FORCE?
War
When it was announced that the old arthritic bitch (Sylvester Stallone) was making a pile of shit epilogue to the Rambo series, the AVGN joked that the title would possibly be John Rambo. Well, the joke was up his ass when the title was, in fact, John Rambo. Fan faggotry burst like a hymen under a needle and people started lulzing under the irony (even though at the end of the video, he said that he was just fucking around, making the lulz vanish instantly).
Eventually, the AVGN got tired of people who mindlessly loved him (yeah, right), and in his Texas Chainsaw Massacre review, he raeped the community by having his furry Guitar Hero mimic the people. This naturally felt like being penetrated through the ear by Batman, so a portion of the community left his bitch-shackling nature and have taken up the cause of ED. When fans pointed this out on YouTube, Mike Matei blocked them and deleted their comments out of butthurt. And thanks to ED pointing this out, the very same review now requires approval for comments.
Mike Matei
Moar info: Mike Matei.
AVGN Nazis
In the warzone that is the YouTube, Video Game Reviewers and their rivals have spawned many 12-year-old jihadists who would otherwise be vandalizing ED, 4chan or other mean people who make fun of their idols.
- Prisonbreak72020: Vandal and anticipated an hero. Feel free to leave him a message on his latest ED account user:TheWTFHero,
or his new YouTube account MAXPAYNEPRODUCTIONSaccount closed. Ironically is also a Irate Gamer Nazi. Probably not an epic double agent. Thinks he's black, even though the picture of his mug is shown at the top of his own article.
- greatexpectations320: Once a minor fanboy who evolved into the unholy avatar of the lulzkiller and meme smasher.
- Chickenhed61: An AVGN house nigger and pedophilic furfag who enjoys masturbating to videos of kittens and 13-year-old boys.
Of course dedicating yourself to defend 12-year-old YouTube users with unfunny game reviews from these people makes you one with the AIDS.
AVGN fanboys are well-known for their stunning lack of a sense of irony. Be it the Irate Gamer, Alexander4488 or whomever, they're quick to call anyone who does video game rants or reviews that are even the faintest bit reminiscent of the Nerd's videos a "ripoff" or a "plagiarist". It seems lost on them that the Angry Video Game Nerd does not hold a patent on this style of review, and himself does trite Game Grumps-style videos, yet no one accuses the Nerd of the same because only his fans are such epic retards. If what they were saying was the case, every Let's Play video game reviewer would be a ripoff of the person who created the first video of its kind.
2010: James Rolfe jumps the shit shark while letting slip some diarrhea
Beginning in spring 2010, Rolfe began doing AVGN videos once per month instead of once every two weeks (supposedly to promote his other "nobody-gives-a-shit" series: Boring Lame Board James), and in spite of doubling his per-video production time there was no noticeable improvement in quality. Judging by his reviews of Cheetahmen and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, along with his piece on game glitches, he is fast approaching the Irate Gamer's trademark variety of lulzlessness. Furthermore, instead of AVGN videos, James Rolfe is incessantly shitting viewers with photo evidence that he visited the filming locations of B-list horror movies.
As if that weren't enough of a diarrhea dump for his viewers to have to endure, he's been uploading shitty vlogs from E3 and Comic-Con, proving that without a script Rolfe is near-inarticulate. In addition he sporadically uploads video reviews of pre-1990s movies which, conveniently, he has stopped indexing under "Movie Reviews", forcing fans to work backwards through Cinemassacre blog archives just to figure out what he's done over the past few months.
Other recent highlights on Rolfe's website Cinemassacre indicate that he's going in the same direction as Spoony: becoming increasingly vlog-centric, inconsistent, and self-aggrandizing in his overall content. These highlights include:
- A look-back at all the
trashconcert ticket stubs he's collected, which basically amounted to Rob Zombie, Korn, Rob Zombie, Tool, Rob Zombie, and other 1990s mainstream emo fag-rock that most people stopped liking as soon as they surpassed the age of 14. - Appeals to his international audience to spam the online ballot box in a Philadelphia-based videographer competition, in which he is competing against small, local wedding photography studios.
- Indie horror videos in which he plays a character based off of James Rolfe ...poorly.
- Original videos where he dresses up like a 13 year old boy (Boring Lame... er, Board James) and talks about his favorite board games that he used to play by himself growing up.
- A five part video series where he reads some shitty paperback tie-in book for Mega Man II with all the range and emotion of Keanu Reeves.
- Top-ten movie lists of increasingly obscure and smelly subject nature. Top 10 William Shatner movies, anyone?
- His home videos when he was a little boy, that according to him, are part of his "filmography".
- A Christmas 'review' that consisted of him replacing the words to How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, and him making fun of Fist of the North Star's name resulted in a significant amount of dislikes from /v/eeaboos. Good job.
He has further confirmed his status as an Internet celebrity on the decline by doing nothing but spewing random shit nobody except asspies cares about at all on his blog to keep his fanbois generating the page clicks needed to keep the ad revenue money rolling in so he and Mike Matei can spend all their time in the basement together having buttsecks instead of producing anything that could be possibly be mistaken as creative.
Last Thursday, a butthurt YouTube "intellect", named Asalieri (who quite obviously wrote this part of the article, hurf durf) made a valid video deconstructing one of Rolfe's reviews, as a part of his own series, "Reviewing a Reviewer". In the video he compared James's declining quality with a lesser-known, yet up-and-coming, OCD nerd retro game reviewer named Roo. The video was taken down twice (by Mike Matei). Upon this, Asalieri wussed out and called a truce with Matei (because the Internet is such a big SRS FKN BSNS warzone, Jesus fucking Christ almighty). However, due to numerous complaints from subjects of Asalieri's Reviewing a Reviewer show and fanboys of said subjects, YouTube terminated his old account.
AVGN: The e-beggar
After seeing Yahtzee's hilarious attempt to cash in from his drooling fans and failing to do so due to Internet backlash, James thought to himself "Hmm. I'm gonna make a movie about my iconic & not at all tiring AVGN persona very soon. But I don't feel like spending cash directly from my own wallet or the thousands I already make from Blip, Cinemassacre, YouTube, GameTrailers and ScrewAttack. Shit fuck, what the hell? I'll ask my shee- err AVGN fans for some quick cash! Sweet cowabunga dogshit I'm a genius!"
Which he did. And asked for the grand total of $75,000, despite now being part of the JewTube partnership, has already gotten donations from his fanboys before and is backed up financially from both ScrewAttack and SpikeTv.com. It goes without saying that James is really squeezing out all that he can gain from his beloved AVGN sheep without any regrets and will keep on doing so until the very last cent.
Oh James, how the mighty have fallen.
Previous Video | Next Video
It was unsure whether James would either collect all the moneyz and make a run for it without delivering any form of movie whatsoever or deliver a movie so bad, it would make you want to see the Fred movie and actually enjoy it, despite it being a messed up e-fame fuelled piece of junk that nobody cared about the second it was released. No matter how bad it was, at least Fred didn't e-beg his fantards in order to make it. Although the AVGN fanboys surprised the Internet by actually reaching the $75,000 goal in less than ten days for a movie that's not even in production yet, James wasn't satisfied with the results. He wanted even moar than the requested $75,000 in order to have a backup plan in case the AVGN movie is successful enough to have a sequel. In the end, he collected over $300,000 with lots of fans bawwing about them not being able to donate anymore, despite James receiving 4x the amount requested. Delicious e-drama coming from both AVGN apologists and former Nerd fans should fuel the Internet with lulz soon enough.
The fund raiser didn't officially end at $75,000 because James wanted the AVGN movie to be a fan funded movie, so then he wouldn't have to pay those pesky investors whom would risk their hard earned money by investing in an obscure indie movie project that's got higher chances of flopping than succeeding. He was so happy that he had promised all of his donating fans that they would receive an individual "thank you for the money, is nice" vid for all of their efforts. They still haven't received this special video to this day, but AVGN fans are very forgiving.
Barely a couple of hours later, the AVGN's crew posted this thank you vid involving James shitting all over a children's N64 game called ██████████████████. The "review" was so shitty that it made Alexander4488 look like a competent reviewer.
All of the drama in a nutshell:
—A Jewtuber |
Those six people who donated for the special movie cameo reward are so fucked.
AVGN plushies
With his donation drive coming to an end, James decided that $325,000 just isn't enough for him, so as a last ditch effort he decides to sell plushies of him and his side-character Shit Pickle for $18 each, further capitalizing off his success. It's pretty obvious that his fanboys are going to buy these by the hundreds. What's next, Shit Pickle dildos?
Also, I wonder where he got the money to supply those plushes?
Cheetahmen II
On August 6, 2012 the Nerd uploads a video advertising some old fuck's Kickstarter to help patch some shitty NES game called Cheetahmen II to actually make it beatable and make reproduction cartridges of it, requiring $65,000 in donations. While the idea was bad enough, the video in question was probably one of the worst things ever produced on James's channel, it being very unfunny, forced, and basically showing how much of an e-beggar James is. One reason why this idea horrible is the fact that there already existed ROM hacks that would patch the game which were released years ago, for free no less. For donating $60 for God knows what reason, you get your own copy of a patched Cheetahmen II reproduction cart, whoopee fuckin' do.
But in all seriousness, who the fuck cares about Cheetahmen II? No one wanted to play this game, until all of the sudden AVGN started liking the game for whatever reason, then a lot of the fanboys decided to like it too, many of them actually donating to this worthless cause, it already receiving over $20,000 with just twenty-nine days to go. However, not all AVGN fans were fooled, and could quickly see that the Kickstarter as being a scam and are disliking the video and leaving negative comments, like calling James a sellout/e-beggar or calling the whole thing a scam.
While the video still has more likes (barely), it has had probably the most dislikes than any video that was ever uploaded on James's channel. Strangely, Mike hasn't reacted at all yet. As expected, the cowardly Mike at first tried using damage control, until ultimately just disabled comments and ratings. Because of this huge display of butthurt, many videos were made to fuel this drama, and you know that you've fucked up royally when even the fucking Irate Gamer is poking fun at you.
The Cheetahmen II video that was censored to hell still has the Kickstarter link in its description, but since there are no dislikes/comments around to show how much of a scam it is, any blind fantard won't see any problem in giving their money away. And if that isn't bad enough, there are also Cheetahmen II ads plastered all over the Cinemassacre homepage, and possibly various other sites as well (a known one being OCRemix).
UPDATE: The Kickstarter has finally come to an end. Being funded with a grand total of $94,270!
And he's asking for more money via PayPal til the end of September!
Previous Video | Next Video |
Greg Paybitch
The old fart that is running the Kickstarter. The fact that it is hard to obtain information on him makes him more shady than he already is. But from the gathered information, Greg Pabich is very obsessed with The Cheetahmen, and is a very rich man living in a high class house. He claims that he is famous, yet no one in the world knew who he fucking was until he got involved with the Nerd. And from places like his Facebook and The Cheetahmen website you can see that he's been planning this whole Kickstarter for a long time. One of Greg's goals in life is to make Cheetahmen the next Angry Birds. The website alone contains overpriced Cheetahmen merchandise, and you may have noticed that the Cheetahmen II Kickstarter description is in ALL CAPS, but in the comments section he types like he forgot where the caps lock key is. In the Hall of Fame/Shame section of the site they even wrote Mike Magay's name wrong (MIKE MATAEI), proving just how much they care about their business partners.
Upon further research on Greg, it was found out that he had a history of fraud before and that he was sued for over three million dollars for fraud. Unfortunately, he wasn't convicted due to lack of evidence.
SERIOUS UPDATE: Greg doesn't even own the The Cheetahmen copyright, he only owns the right to make Cheetahmen games "software".
Conclusion
So after all the drama that's been going on, after all those tons of donations way beyond the goal, what is the end result of all this? An even more broken piece of shit game than it was before. See for yourself:
Previous Video | Next Video |
The AVGN movie
On September 2nd, 2014, the AVGN movie was finally released for all his adoring fans to rent on Vimeo. It's actually worse than the trailer made it out to be. Most of the special effect scenes are either cheaply done digital effects or practical effects that look like they came out of a 60s Godzilla movie. It's about an hour longer than it should have been, and the plot is caustically unfunny shit. It is a two-hour ego dickstroking exercise where everybody praises James' talent as the AVGN. The greenscreen effects are worse than any YouTube video you'll ever see, so amateur even Irate Gamer would call them cowapieceofdogshit. The acting is beyond bad and that is from actors who did better in shit like Birdemic. Yes, Birdemic had better acting than this self-fellatio of James Rolfe. The plot was written by ADHD sperg hyped on LSD and sugar, while fapping to AVGN episodes, and it makes absolutely no sense. The pacing is all over the place. One of the reason why this movie sucks ass is because it has SJW shit. That's right, James' horse face SJW ruined the movie by add an extra nigger and a cum-dumpster. You might want to ask how does that ruin the movie, when it is already a piece of shit? Well the thing is that everybody on the Internet, not just gamer had it with these SJW shit about racial equality and respect female bullshit. But James' wife just had to made it step further by promoting this type of shit, especially when the movie is suppose to be about video game. There is also a scene where the nigger had a wedding with a white wimmin. It is speculated that this was added because of James' fetish for cuckoldry and watching his wife getting huge black cocks jammed in her orifices.
Of course fanboys are rushing to defend this garbage as being intentionally bad, which of course would bite James in the ass, as one could easily say that about the games that he has "reviewed" thereby making him more pointless than he already is. Another defense of theirs is that the movie was intentionally bad, which begs the question what the fuck James spent the remainder of the 300,000 dollars on. Obviously he didn't need that extra cash, if he was just going to make a movie that was as bad as possibly could be. So either James shows his failure as a movie maker or he just chose to piss on the fan and tell them it is raining while he ran away with the money.
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The German ET porn had a better ET than this -
Chromakeying? -
Remember: random = funny
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Doug Walker when realizing he is in this crap -
Yeah, nobody would notice she is missing her fucking hand -
Remember: random = funny -
How do chromakey -
This is the actual editing in the video
The following reviews were not selected. These were the most popular on IMDb.
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2/10 -
3/10 -
3/10 -
3/10
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2/10 -
3/10 -
1/10 -
1/10 -
1/10 -
1/10 -
3/10
AVGN: The game
To highlight the fact that Steam users are absolute idiots, they have green-lit Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures. A game where you play as the Nerd, while shooting, and oddly enough not shitting on, enemies, in the best retro style, complete with 8-bit graphics ripped off from famous NES games.
Kicking the SJW nest: the Fembusters not-review
In May of 2016, the AVGN released what is considered by some, one of his most controversial "reviews". In it, he decided to not to watch the failed reboot of Ghostbusters, as he established that the movie is a disservice to the fans and the creators and actors of the original movie. Without using his "angry nerd" persona, Rolfe explains calmly and with a great detail why the Paul Feig's reboot does not deserve his attention, nor his money.
Despite giving a straightforward and easy to understand explanation (for anybody with two braincells to rub together), in the eyes of the gullible retards, cuckolds and easily offended Social Justice Warriors and Nu-males, he committed the sin of criticizing a movie that according to Jezebel is a "Is A Punch in the Dick to All of Mankind" and so, he is egregiously punching down women and oppressing them with his mansplaining to the point of almost raping them. Soon the Clickbait harpies opportunistically appeared and started to shriek in which is clearly an example that they lack comprehension skills and hear what only they want to hear just to appear progressive and feminist in front of their acquaintances.
Unsurprisingly the aforesaid clickbait "journalists" were suspiciously silent when Andre "Black Nerd" Meadows, Joe "deme dos pesos ese" Vargas and Alachia Queen raised similar points about the movie but get away with it because they are not part of the evil white male race.
Previous Image | Next Image
Several clickbait sites reported about this non-issue like 
the Daily Dot, 
Know your Meme, the Daily Beast, the Atlantic and others showing that was a slow day in news and the clickbait bubble is about to burst. Nonetheless this moment of clarity of Rolfe can be temporal, as his wife probably will make him to apologize to the women of the world under the threat of refusing to have pity sex with him anymore. Hitherto, the internet hate machine is having a good day while it is mining the salt of Fembusters fans.
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Sheit nigga u raciss -
Ben Kuchera being reminded how a whiny faggot he is by the internet aristocrat -
hating things without seeing them first -
he don't kill babies
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Trying to be relevant Patton? Your wife is dead! -
Patton's wife cameo in Fembusters -
More Dead Wife Jokes -
Yes because having a $20 budget can make the same quality movie as having a $20 million budget -
Dane Cook attempts to prove that he's still relevant -
That'll show that Nerd! -
Because he's a more mature adult -
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I don't think Julia realizes who "James Rolfe" is -
SJWs proving once again that they're the GOOD GUYS, who are on the right side of history! -
See now, at this point people are just hopping on the bandwagon here: "my friends hate this guy, so I guess I should hate him too!" -
> it's my job to review it
> but I won't review it -
Ah yes, Devin Faraci, on the top of popular opinion again -
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YourMovieSucks.org lays down the law -
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Patton Oswalt relents once he realizes he dun goofed
And how much did the clickbait, feminist shit sites affect James' video? Not a lot, really.
All those articles and complaining for this?
A comic version by
KukuruyoArt explains the entire bullshit in a nutshell.
In Conclusion
Screenwave
Around the mid '10s following the absolute failure that was the Angry Video Game Nerd Movie and James Rolfe's bitch wife demanding he look after their two daughters after 5:40 PM every evening while she attends a wine class and gets blacked by Jerome and his home boys, Jimmy boy decided to outsource 90% of his creative output to a company with a focus on phasing electrons through the "Youtube algorithm" bullshit called Screenwave.
With Rolfe obviously not being the same angry basement dweller he was a decade ago, this would have been fine had Screenwave not helped accelerate the downward spiral of the Cinemassacre Youtube channel and enabled James Rolfe's problems with having "no time" to do jack fucking shit!
Fans began noticing how much their beloved autistic hero began phoning in his performance even more than usual in newer AVGN episodes and when questioning it (or why James unemployable manchild buddy Mike "10 inch" Matei thought it clever to post pictures of his monster cock online), (or the unexplained disappeareances of fan favorites Bootsy and Guitar Guy) over on the Cinemassacre subreddit, were swiftly banned by a retarded faggot who went by the handle of "BTNMasherDraco" leading to the creation of The Cinemassacre Truth subreddit in response which as of August 2021 has surpassed 11,000 jaded fanboys and counting!
Soon, the fat bastards employed by Screenwave began making their disgusting appearances known to long time Cinemassacre fanboys by way of "Rental Reviews", James Rolfe's low energy idea for a show talking about old crappy movies that nobody wanted to rent during the days of Blockbuster.
Their distinct lack of chemistry with Rolfe showed and in turn, "Rental Reviews" was mercifully cancelled after a hundred episodes only CinemassacreTruth redditors watched for the lulz.
Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the end of Screenwave's involvement with Cinemassacre and before long, they helped birth James Rolfe's even more lazy and half assed idea for new content with the advent of "Rex Viper", Rolfe's mid-life crisis band singing shitty cover songs that would make even the likes of Christian and the Hedgehog Boys jealous with virgin rage!
Meanwhile, AVGN continued to decline with game selections that made it painfully clear to everyone except what few shit encrusted boot licking fanboys he has left that Rolfe's passion for calling games AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and a WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK is no longer burning with the intensity of a diabetic fat fuck's heart seconds before he keels over in the Little Debbies snack cake aisle at his local Wal-Mart.
Starting in 2022, AVGN completely sold out and became "algorithm-friendly" heavily censored crap full of ads with no more anger or swear words. Not even the original theme song is used anymore. Why? JewTube has become all about money and no longer allows creativity or fun. Cinemassacre wanted to jump on the hip trendy bandwagon by pandering to sponsors.
The Three Stooges
- Justin Silverman: A morbidly obese offspring of Jabba the Hutt who's biggest claim to fame prior to making James Rolfe look good by direct comparison is being a cringy edgelord faggot namely making a complete ass of himself after being invited to be on an episode of the late TotalBiscuit podcast. Silverman is also known for his perverse lust of Gengar from Pokemon having an entire room dedicated to the altar of his Ghost-Type husbando whom he will one day marry making him the second person in history after JustinRPG to help push beastiality as a valid form of legal marriage for furries and zoophiles the world over!
- Kieran: A long haired greasy looking biker dude wannabe with a penchant for being an Internet Tough Guy often descending upon the Cinemassacre Truth subreddit with a delusional fury that would make Amy and Samy Bouzaglo from that one episode of Kitchen Nightmares blush. However, it seems his mommy told him to stop sperging out for as of late, Kieran's surprisingly backed off from his autistic tard raging at a subreddit that grows in proportion to every one of his giant caveman meltdowns and even has lost some weight to boot though time will tell if he ever stops wearing that same denim jacket that has all but fused to his torso!
- TonyFromHackTheMovies: What? You don't know who TonyFromHackTheMovies is? Why, he's a guy named Tony from the "Hack The Movies" Youtube channel, only the most prestigious of movie related Youtube channels at a whopping 39,000 subscribers whom even James Rolfe, a self proclaimed curator of film, bows down to because nobody err..."hacks the movies" like TonyFromHackTheMovies does! No longer seemingly associated with Cinemassacre and Screenwave as of 2021!
James Rolfe Finally Reveals His Power Level
Despite James Rolfe being known for playing a loser adult manchild with serious anger management problems and a putrid scat fetish, Rolfe for the longest time somehow managed to come across as a fairly meek and milquetoast person outside of playing the Nerd.
That all changed on August 6th, 2021 when the Cinemassacre Youtube channel uploaded a tell-all Behind the Scenes video exposing many long time CinemassacreTruth redditors suspicions about the declining state of the channel.
To summarize:
- James Rolfe revealed the Nerd Room has been reduced to a small incredibly cramped set explaining the same static shot of the Nerd in recent episodes
- James Rolfe also revealed he "has no time" not so much because he's pussy whipped, but because his clueless boomer ass is running tech support even having a convoluted tech set up that would make LinusTechTips freak out. He even leaves things such as putting an onion in his mouth while tied up in his Shrek AVGN episode to himself because god forbid he makes any of the fatties from Screenwave do anything besides make runs to the refridgerator
- Finally, in the last few minutes of the Behind the Scenes video, James Rolfe not so subtly attacked his clueless fanbase specifically the CinemassacreTruth subredditors for daring to criticize him let alone Screenwave referring to such criticisms of being of the "assholish variety".
Bravo James Rolfe, you finally broke your candid Mr. Rogers persona to reveal just how much of an ungrateful shit of the assholish variety you actually are you stupid special needs fucktard! Enjoy having to get a real job when your channel inevitably crashes soon!
Angry Video Game Nerd: A Movie Making Nerd
If you thought the behind the scenes video was bad enough, James outdoes himself yet again by releasing an autobiography on November 18th 2022. This 312 page (yes, really) book is not only riddled with tidbits of autism, but bad formatting that looks like it was done by a first grader. Some of the gems include:
- A "forward" done by his wife (who is speculated to also be his editor, which even for an art teacher, is embarassing that she thought this book was ok for public release)
- Went to a special-ed school
- Constantly tries to get out of situations by pissing and cutting himself, even attempted suicide at one point
- Didn't know what alcohol was until he was 21
- Made a left turn on red, driving into oncoming traffic and almost killing him and the girl he was driving home. Of course he's a selfish entitled car-addicted Americunt suburbanite who ignorantly refuses to use the superior public transit in Philadelphia.
- Stood next to the entrance of a computer lab for 8 hours straight so he could work on his "movies"
Otherwise it's a behind-the-scenes of the AVGN movie, which is something he's actually proud of even though his movie makes the TGWTG movies look superior in comparison (that's not a compliment by the way). In fact majority of the book is filled with nepotism and is an ego trip of a man who thinks he's done no wrong and gets mad at everyone telling him otherwise, which proves that he's lived in a bubble for most of his life.
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Autism Confirmed 01 -
Autism Confirmed 02 -
"but was I'm a Skeleton" - One of MANY formatting issues -
Movie Location Issues
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Moving Day -
He Went Home to Be A Family Man -
James "Diarrhea Dumps" Filmmaking -
The Dragon In The Park -
James doesn't understand how licensing works -
Apparently the movie has a "deep" message -
Odd Jobs before making AVGN a full time gig -
James doesn't understand the difference between video and film -
When Fans Get Rowdy -
Suicide Attempt Part 1 -
Suicide Attempt Part 2 -
Standing in the hall for 8 hours -
Mr. Bim's Wild Ride -
"That time I broke a window at school"
Random AVGN hate videos
Since there's quite a trend of AVGN hate going on as of late, of course there are going to be plenty of videos speaking out the truth against James and Mike's charades, just to get their fifteen seconds of infamy. The following contains such videos, as well as some of those following the Bores defense trend. Expect plenty of AVGN fanboy butthurt in the comments of these videos.
Previous Video | Next Video |
Angry Video Game (you are not the) Father
A couple of weeks before the announcement on May 12th, 2013, James Rolfe became something that no actual video game nerd has any hope to becoming, a father. From the blog post (archive), there appears to have been complications during the pregnancy: The child ended up coming out black, confirming the cuck was cuckolded by his wife April Chmura Rolfe and Tyrone.
A special message from Chris Bores
Gallery
See also
- Alexander4488 - The biggest disgrace to dudes and game reviewers.
- Angry Internet Guy
- False flaggot
- Game Grumps
- Internet DVD
- Irate Gamer
- MonkeyGameGuides
- PissedOffVideoGamer
- ScrewAttack
- Spax3
- That Guy With The Glasses
- /v/
- Video game reviewers
- X-Play
External links
His YouTube page- A video of him reviewing Simon's Shitty Quest
- His website
- The Furious Famicom Faggot
- Ebeeto
- An example of retardation
- THE MOST FUCKING RETARDED SHIT THAT HAS EVER BEEN SPEWED OUT OF JAMES ROFLE'S ASSHOLE
- Fuck he's almost done.
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Angry Video Game Nerd is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |