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MSPaint Adventures: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 01:50, 13 February 2015
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MSPaint Adventures looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.
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Microsoft Paint Adventures is some interactive flash comic or some bullshit thing like that, disguised as the atrocity that is the webcomic medium, which as we all know, is the most fucking terrible kind of medium. It involves various stories involving aliens, weird plots that are beyond confusing (not to mention poorly written), underage kids in sexual relations, and crazy-ass fans. Yet, this manages to be one of the only good "webcomics" on the interbutts. The author, Andrew Hussie, is a Jew who lives off of donations and the shitty products that he sells, such as weird-ass designs for T-shirts, MIDI music, and other convoluted methods of cocksuckery.
Bard Quest and Jailbreak
In these two pieces of shit nobody cares about, an unnamed man attempts to escape from a prison cell. Neither of these stories were finished, and reflect Hussie's lazy ass work ethic. But if they were finished, they would reveal Hussie's collection of sick shit. The only reason he couldn't continue his smut further was because he realized he couldn't get more jew gold without sucking the fans pork-lances any harder. Thankfully, thanks to the efforts of Tim Buckley, "Choose Your Own Adventure" comics were made much, much worse. Not that he is original or anything.
Problem Sleuth
Problem Sleuth is the story of some detective dude and his two jerk-off buddies, Lord Douche and Captain Caveman. It starts with them in their room jacking off to the scenery (bullshit backgrounds Hussie's fans drew). Eventually they get out and other stupid shit happens. They go to a bunch of places that aren't notable to be mentioned and solve puzzles too obscure for your Webster dictionary to comprehend. Eventually they fight the Demon Orgy CockDick, because he's all up in their shit and waving his junk up in there. They get pissed, shit happens, and it all ends in shit nobody understands or cares for. Overall, an incoherent storyline, unreadable art, and nothing you should ever even attempt read, unless you like to waste your time looking at horse dick.
Homestuck
The latest abomination to be flung into the world by Hussie. The plot is confusing, so we can barely describe what this shit is all about. HS has literally become the Naruto of webcomics, shitting out one of the most xenophiliac fandoms since Invader Zim. These people have literally made it their religon, saying "oh gog" instead of "oh god" (never mind this is NOT HS canon,) wanting to dump cum in a bucket, posting pictures of themselves "cosplaying" as characters in thigh highs (stay classy, Tumblr), buying shirts and rehashed fingernails-to-chalkboard music, and other ridiculous amounts of madness. Arguably the only good parts to this comic are the animations in which the characters aren't rendered as 'sprites.' Most people are too lazy to look through the first "act", let alone the first few pages. This is where the majority of haters come from, and they somehow manage to be even DUMBER than the fanbase. A scientific breakdown shows that the haters are 97% procrastinating 12-year-old boys that play Cunt of Diarrhea, 2% bronies butthurt over a "lack of ponies," and 1% anime fans that learned this isn't an anime (anime is much more confusing.)
You start by reading Zork: The Webcomic. The reader then wades through 1000 pages of plot with some kids named John, Rose, and Dave. Then later stuff happens and then OMG somehow a meteor comes and the world ends and stuff. However, no one seems to care because they're still playing a vidjogame. Oh yeah, and Dave or some shit starts feeling sexually confused by a bunch of puppets with large asses. But it's ok, because they rape him. But don't worry,anal rape is a customary practice for his household, so you don't have to worry about the comic ending there.
And then, more shit happens. John enters the realm of a flying spaghetti monster and proceeds to pissrape all of these monsters. Later he randomly dies, BUT DON'T WORRY, THAT WAS JUST AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE. Dave has now somehow obtained time travel or something because future Dave gave past Dave magic floating turntables which have no conceivable existence before then. Andrew calls it "weird time shit", which is a bullshit excuse for a deus ex machina. Also, the fourth main character is finally introduced, after over $400000 of shit art. And guess what? She's a furry.
Later it's revealed that John is a fuck-clone of himself and his friends made with green semen or some shit. No need to elaborate on this. Then, after meeting a bunch of aliens that everyone jizzes their pants over, the kids hitch a ride on a meteor with a one way ticket to Chuck E. Cheese's.
Trolls are the main draw to Homestuck, as there are 12 of them and they are "naturally bisexual". That leads fans to assume that they will fuck anything that moves, just because the fans themselves will FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES. Hussie, realizing his mistake, decides to reset the comic for presumed "lulz," but the lulz are missing because they got mugged by a black guy.
But wait, there's more! In a stunning twist, Hussie decides to kill fucking everyone in his goddamn shitstorm of a comic, making all his fans flip the fuck out. Yes, he managed to troll his fan base. Yes, there were some lulz. No, it does not mean the fanbase wised up and stopped being lolcows.
But they weren't dead, because of alternate timeline/deus ex machina bullshit, and then he introduces more shitstain excuse for characters, repeating the process infinitely.
In all actuality, he's going to keep pandering to the "homies" and put more ":B" faces everywhere like you wouldn't even imagine. An actual video game is coming out in 2014, thanks to the efforts of the owner of the world's largest Jew Gold refinery.
How To Become Part of the Fandom
1. Go to the site.
2. Skip to Act 5.
3. Question marks.
4. Profit like a Wal-Mart in a white trash community.
Insane Asylum Rantings
—Typical Homestuck Fans | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
GAIAONLINE STEALS R STUFFZ!!1!!
Also, anybody who uses Gaia Online will know about the stupid ordeal going on lately. Seriously, who the fuck goes on gaia? Basically, Gaia made a few knockoff Homestuck items and all of the fanboys went into rage mode. The ringleader? Hussie's white knight girlfriend.
[1] No one cares about gaia, shit-butt.
There's her OWN special little Gaiaonline account, where she can be seen wearing a "Walking Dead" tshirt, meaning she OBVIOUSLY has nothing against marketing and advertising on Gaia, that is, until her precious Hussie is involved. Then, shit hits the fan, and you have every lonely, bored neckbeard of a Homestuck fan railing so far up your ass you can taste it. Once again, nobody gives a shit, you stupid sack of cum residue.
Dating Service
The autistic fucks that actually enjoy this complicated shit have decided to open up a dating service for people in their fandom. It's filled with a bunch of 13 year old boys and 16 year old girls. You can find the virgins and their profiles here.
Characters of Homestuck
For some reason, Andjew decided to color-code his ridiculously two-dimensional characters so his fangirls could tell them apart.
The Children:
- John: A young heterosexual male who likes gushers and has a fetish for old women, notably ones that lead to incest. He has no personality whatsoever.
- Rose: An emo know-it-all cunt who's smarmy and predictable. Enjoys watching a furry unleash genocide on a planet while masturbating to Cthulhu preforming goatse on LSD.
- Dave: A wannabee. His brother has a thing for puppets, which leads to Dave's eventual rape. He still thinks he's hot shit because his anus is redder than a Jew's nose from all of the objects that entered it. He claims everything he does is for ironic purposes.
- Jade: Furry cosplayer, precog, and so boring she gave herself narcolepsy. No one cares about this bitch, moving on.
- The Guardians: Two neglectful parents too busy doing fuck-all in this shitty universe to watch their kids, Charles Darwin, and an animu nerd.
- Jack: Some asswipe in a legal department that shanked a niggeress, took her jewelery, and went on to kill a bunch of people from another planet.
The Moar Children:
- Jane: WASP bitch who likes baking. Boring as shit, except when she flips the fuck out. Also got rejected by Jake because she's a fucking fat ass.
- Roxy: Drunken haxxor who has a dysfunctional relationship with her mother.
- Dirk: Gay. One of the few characters who manages not to fuck up every single thing they do, but hates himself anyway.
- Jake: Indiana Jones wannabe with a gun kink. Bisexual and a complete fuckwit.
The DevilsTrolls:
- Aradia: Necrophiliac robot. Considering how little personality she has, Maid of Void would have been a better role.
- Tavros: Cripple that speaks like a complete retard that can't correctly formulate sentences. Every teenage girl going through their pubescent spouts will somehow relate this character as some kind of submissive ass-slave for every other.
- Sollux: l33t haxx0r. srs bsns here! Has no plot function and then dies, appropriate for the Mage of Doom.
- Karkat: SMALL MAN. LARGER ANUS. Self conscious about his appearance and his relationships, he's about as close to one of these pathetic fantards as it gets.
- Nepeta: Furry who obsesses over fictional relationships between her online friends. Every Homestuck reader in one character.
- Kanaya: Lesbian Vampire. Hussie needed to pander to an even wider range of people at around this time in the comic, and he decided introducing the homosexual community to his "art" was a good idea. So every other little gay girl identifies with this one, seeing as they have unwarranted self-importance. Kanaya herself enjoys lipstick and fashion, and therefore is not even a proper lesbian.
- Terezi: Who cares? Can see through smell, even after her eyes were FUCKING BURNED BY THE SUN. Has a choice ass.
- Vriska: GOTIS. Telepathic psycho bitch who killed her friends. Nobody seems to be bothered by her doing this.
- Equius: Mr. Hands. Obsessed with steroids and horse dicks, and builds anal stimulators.
- Gamzee: Juggalo. Kills everybody. Is not reprimanded for this even by the people whom he kills.
- Eridan: Hipster faggot. Harry Potter obsessive who tries to wreck shit but is then sawn in half by Kanaya.
- Feferi: Once again, who really gives a shit? The Royal Whore or something who stuffs fish sticks up her butt and has no plot relevance at all.
The Moar Trolls:
- Kankri: White Knight. Also the epitome of a social justice blogger. Everyone in the omniverse is currently trying to get a restraining order against this asshole.
- Damara: Weeaboo. Gives extremely sexual commentary in bad Japanese to anybody she meets.
- Rufioh: Basically the troll equivalent of Dante Basco. Also into bestiality.
- Mituna: Retard, former psychic. Died in a marching accident.
- Meulin: Deaf nekogirl who takes horns up her ass from her clearly insane and evil boyfriend.
- Porrim: Tits or GTFO. Giant whore who has spent most of eternity getting her ass pounded by Cthulhu.
- Latula: guuuuurl g4m3r!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As annoying as real-life counterparts. Does not appear to have ever done anything of note, something Homestuck fans can relate to.
- Aranea: Possible gigantic lesbian for Meenah. Talks too fucking much. One of the only two likeable Moar Trolls.
- Horuss: Rufioh's butt buddy. He is the
EngineerHe's too much of a shitty character to be the engineer. Plus, he never builds any Sentries. - Kurloz: Mute. Gay mime who is secretly in cahoots with Gamzee, an equally two-dimensional and pointless character.
- Cronus: Ice-less version of the Ice King. No one loves him because he's a pedophile and looks like a faggot.
- Meenah: A psycho. Generally bitchy to everybody, and idolises her post-Scratch self who is a megalomaniacal galactic genocidal bitch queen. One of the only two likeable Moar Trolls.
- Caliborn/Calliope: Some sort of asexual green anal hair. He/She share the same body. This thing represents the Homestuck fandom. Calliope is a whiny fangirl bitch, while Caliborn is a dumb angry fag who later becomes a giant goddamn demon asshole.
The gigantic prick of an author:
- Andrew: The other Mr. Hands. Faps to his own characters and claims he will be yours if you give him a horse to fuck. For more confirmation of the author not having a life, he decided to add himself as a character.
"Shipping"
This is the only reason anyone reads this piece of cocksalad. Andjew has admitted this himself. He's even invented 3 other types of sex practices to accommodate for them. They are as follows:
- Kismesis (♠): Where you fuck someone you don't really like to give them STDs. Bonus points if they die.
- Moirail (♦): Friend Zone
- Matesprit (♥): Sex with someone who is not quite pathetic enough, deeming them as an acceptable cock sleeve for desperate losers.
- Auspistice(♣): Essentially a threeway with two people who couldn't do it alone without it looking too gay.
What time is it?
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Andrew approves. -
You're welcome -
This a rough approximation of Homestuck's character development. -
Also, bestiality.
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Also, cripple porn. -
Also, pedophilia. -
What every HS fan dreams of. Still more acceptable than bronies' fantasies. -
Anime Cons: Ruined Forever -
The average Homestuck panel. -
HOT TITTIES -
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The -
Jew -
Himself -
Piss Porn -
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EVERYTHING IN A NUTSHELL -
Promoting healthy eating. -
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LOOK @ JAKE EAT THAT WHOLE SANDWICH HE’S GETTING MAYO ALL OVER HIS FACE WOW HE MUST BE HUNGRY -
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External Links
- The terribly formatted homepage
- This is where most of the aspies wander
- Another shitty wiki full of aspies. Go ahead, just look
- Aspie proof source
See Also
- Webcomics
- Fandom (Currently not on the Top Ten Worst Fandoms list)
- My Little Pony, one of the things worse than MSPaint Adventures.
- Newgrounds - on 10/25/11, Hussie uploaded a flash file on to Newgrounds. Cue his fangirls driving up the site traffic so much that Newgrounds crashed.
- TL;DR
- Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, one of the actually decent things Andjew pissed out of his narrow urethra.
- Tumblr Where the majority of fans are.
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MSPaint Adventures is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |
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MSPaint Adventures is part of a series on Tumblr.
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